Revision Paragraph for Unit Essay 3

Revision Paragraph for Unit Essay 3 - I also remove...

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Kelvin S. Rubio 12/20/10 Composition 1, Section 075 Revision Paragraph, Unit Essay 3 Professor Petillo Revision Paragraph for Unit Essay 3 For my Unit 3 essay “The Child and the Video Game: Harmless or Deadly” I removed numerous paragraphs that had little to nothing to do with my thesis statements.
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Unformatted text preview: I also remove sentences that was too preachy in my conclusion. I also included two citations for the sections revolving the Columbine Massacre, and the Virginia Tech Massacre. Lastly I corrected grammatical errors....
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