By: Hanna Song
A small red book stood alone in an empty world of black and white. Windows open.
closer to get a good look at it and pages fluttered away… I picked it up before anymore flew away. I
skimmed through the remaining pages and found it was the journal of a dying boy’s last days. Kim Jae
The entries chronicled the last days of his life as he fought his battle with cancer.
The moment I
picked the book up, I felt a cool breeze circulating around me and it gave me the chills as if Kim Jae
Duc’s spirit was still there.
Read along with me because I’m afraid to read it alone. Kim Jae Duc might
not like me going through his personal belongings…
First of all, you must be wondering why a guy would keep a journal, right?
The reason is because I need
something to reveal my innermost thoughts and secrets, which I can’t tell to anyone who is living.
Jae Duc, have a terrible and dark secret.
Besides my parents and doctors, you’re the only thing that will
know the truth about me.
I am going to
I can’t believe it myself.
I’m still so young, but now I have to face this harsh reality that I’m going to die
Oh why God! Why me? The crazy thing is that, one day I’m perfectly healthy, the next day I find
out that I’m going to die.
You know, before I knew it was going to die… it was suppose to be one of those glorious summer days,
but when I woke up and got out of bed—ow, that pain again.
It felt like something was eating up my insides and it was slowing moving its way towards my back.
first, I thought the aches and pain came from my dance practice. But, I guess I was wrong.
Cause at night
the pain was worse.
I was trying to avoid the pain and I’ve been really good at working around it, but
then all of a sudden…the pain stuck… worse than ever.
It was really bad; usually it was something I can
just go around. But this time, it hurt like crazy- I was dancing and suddenly this deep, excruciating burst
of pain caused me to topple over and black out.
When I came to, I found myself lying in a hospital bed.
The first thing I heard when I came was someone crying.
I could recognize the voice from anywhere.
It was my mother’s.
The first thing I thought was whatever I’ve got, I’ve got it bad.
Strangely, in the back of my mind I kept
thinking and knew that I was going to die.
My mother, while sobbing, told me that the doctors already
ran some tests on me and did this thing on me called the sonogram.
She said that we’ll know the results
My mother just kept sobbing. It annoyed me. I closed my eyes; I didn’t want to think
about this anymore.
I needed to think about something that will take my mind off of her crying and
The first thing that I thought of was