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Unformatted text preview: MIDTERM II 17:29 Forgiveness: “Close Relationships are the origin of many positive experiences. Paradoxically, it is in these relationships that we find ourselves most vulnerable to suffering.” (Hannon et al., 2010) Transgressions: all of us have that moment, foot in the mouth, you get caught for saying something and you can’t take it back • Norm violations: o 1. Dependence: has to do with support, if you are with a boyfriend or girlfriend, are you supposed to go with them to a wedding if they are invited, yes you are going for them not the wedding. If you play a sport your significant other should show up for you to root you on, we get upset when they aren’t there to support us o 2. Monogamy : you don’t cheat on your partner, no acts of infidelity o 3. Privacy: this is you don’t tell other people what we talk about, you don’t tell your mom if we are having relationship issues, you don’t share others private information o 4. Public embarrassment : how many of you have had your bf embarrass you in front of other people? Take them to a party and they have too much to drink and you take them home. Rules- you aren’t supposed to embarrass me yourself with me or us. We don’t fight in front of other people. o 5. Aggression: this is being mean or nasty, physically or verbally. Verbal aggression- don’t yell at each other, take things out on the other person. o 6. Drug and Alcohol abuse: relationship issue. Problems arise in relationship when people abuse drugs and alcohol o 7. Expression: you aren’t supposed to be negative if you are with a partner who is always stressed about school, they aren’t fun to be with. If work puts them in a bad mood they are always in a bad mood, you aren’t supposed to be negative in your emotions all the time when you’re in a relationship o 8. Unilateral decision making : uni- means one; one way decision making, if you are with a person who makes all the decisions, especially without consulting you- it can be bad. When dad buys a sports car and mom doesn’t know. We don’t like other people to make decisions for us or without us What is Forgiveness? Is it… (forgiving is moving on) • 1. Negative emotions?: yes o in order to forgive you have to get rid of negative emotions. If someone hurts you you have negative emotion, part of forgiveness is getting rid of them • 2. Prosocial behaviors? yes o when someone screws you over the last thing you want to do is be nice to them but if you want to forgive them, acting nice to them is something you have to do . want to forgive them, acting nice to them is something you have to do ....
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- Spring '11