Chapter 1 : UNDERSTANDING SELF
"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that's
your own self".
The core of human development is self. The personal effectiveness starts from within. Self
in the power house which facilitates overall development of an individual. It helps you to
know your hidden potentialities which is the true source of energy and motivation. Self-
confidence, self-motivation, positive attitude, taking initiative, perseverance, meaningful
relationships, impact making and belief system are crucial ingredients for achieving
Self is the core of core competencies.
Competency means knowledge, skills and
attitude. Being competent means you keep on updating your knowledge, skill and attitude.
This upgradation and enhancement to the greatest extent is only possible if you know your
real self. Self integrates our Thoughts -T, Emotions -E and Actions -A, which is also known
as TEA system of a personality. To know our real self one has to understand, analyze and
evaluate our TEA system. This system emphasizes that people can not change their ways
of acting unless they first change their thinking and feelings about the target behaviours.
The concept of our 'self' underlines the way in which we communicate, through behaviour
with other people. If for example we feel shy, lack of confidence and see ourselves as
fragile and powerless, we are likely to communicate this to others in the way we behave.
Or conversely, we will try to cover up our feelings about ourselves and 'put on a front' of
being macho and aggressive. If we are, by nature, a highly introverted person we learn to
compensate for this in order to cope with our shyness and one finds people whose
behaviour seems 'over the top' who are actually very shy people, whereas they appear to
be very gregarious and extrovert. The understanding of the self enables awareness and
deeper self-acceptance. Our sense of self is lost in all kinds of different things. The
solution is to still the mind, to get in touch with yourself in order to able to be a silent
witness to one's thoughts, attitude, emotions and behaviour.
There are two people within us as
. That is we all have a 'real self'
somewhere inside. With some people it is locked away and only their nearest and dearest
know that 'self' sometimes not even then other people reveal their 'real self' more readily to
others. The 'role me' self is the person we communicate to the world through our
behaviour. We all have one, but with some people it is a thicker crust than others. At work,
it is likely that people present their role me rather than real me, and as managers it is
important to remember that sometimes we receive communication through behaviour from