Bailey.Bryan.Life Questions

Bailey.Bryan.Life Questions - The laughter the tears the...

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Bailey Bryan Bailey Professor Garcia English 2323.8430 July 15, 2011 “And it is time to go, to bid farewell to one’s own self, and find an exit from the fallen self.” (D.H. Lawrence’s “The Ship of Death) It was September 29, 2007, I held his hand and told him it was okay to go. I would be fine; we all would be - eventually. I was lying of course; I knew I wasn’t going to be fine. I looked at him struggling to breathe, fighting to beat the inevitable. We all knew the end was near, so his friends and family were there, surrounding him in his hospital room, but for me, it was just the two of us sitting there. I had tuned out the world and as I held his hand, I was consumed with memories of our past seven years together.
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Unformatted text preview: The laughter, the tears, the fights, the adventures we had had, but I was also left feeling abandoned, again. I didn’t know how I was going to live past this moment. I struggled to push my fears of abandonment to my core and to deal with it another day; this was about Jerome, not me. I felt Jerome’s feet, they were so cold. I knew we had little time, I squeezed his hand, he squeezed back, he was still with us. I leaned over and whispered into his ear again, “it’s okay to go.” At 12:31 am on September 29, 2007 he took his last breath. My partner, my best friend, my lover…he was gone. His short battle against Leukemia was over. What do I now? Those feelings of abandonment returned, I was alone. 1...
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