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Unformatted text preview: instead of giving two examples and not really elaborating Organization: -Good organization, nice use of transitions-Hook is kind of awkward Use of sentences-A lot of simple sentences, try combining a few sentences and making them compound sentences Choice of words -Could use more sophisticated vocabulary //home/vdimitrov/5908/51998af0c636383a863c4ba79e80caaccf400315.docx 6/10/11 Ivy Review 43625 Mission Blvd., Suite #207 Fremont, CA 94539 Tel: 1-888-777-1988 Grammar & Usage-Great grammar! Overall impressions-Good thesis, but make sure you have two strong examples backed by a thorough elaboration //home/vdimitrov/5908/51998af0c636383a863c4ba79e80caaccf400315.docx 6/10/11...
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- Spring '11