Human Impact Essay, MachariaChad'scomments

Human Impact Essay, MachariaChad'scomments - Funches 1...

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Unformatted text preview: Funches 1 Macharia Funches Professor Judkins English 106 10/1/2010 The Telescope Step back for a moment and imagine life as you know it now. For the most part you have clean water, good hospital care, access to a wide variety of goods, and there are no real shortages of recourses resources An interesting introduction, though perhaps it jumps around between too many ideasa nice life, plentiful resources, the economy, war, the telescope. I see the path, but it could use more page space to explain it. You dont want to put hyperlinks in the in-text citation. See the MLA style guide again. Use these in the Works Cited, while here you only need to put the author, title of source, and page numberwhich all go in the Works Cited as well. Youve left the paragraph hanging here. Whats your point in delivering this information? Give the paragraph a conclusion with that statement. This sentence is mostly a repetition of the topic sentence, so you want to rephrase it to focus on applicability instead of the dramatic change/drastic evolution that you mentioned previously. I see the blending between satellite technology and the telescope here, but its a pretty rough combination. Try to focus on the telescope first and then lead into the satellite (the telescope and then its development into satellites), so youre only talking about one thing at a time (or the other way aroundsatellites and then their history as telescopes).. Youre trying to do both at once, which makes the essay seem a bit off- kilterlacking a precise focus. Up to* Full name, source title, and page number for the first citationname and page number afterwards Of the telescope specificallyspying itself is a fine old tradition To the Works Cited with this, etc. Author, title, page number here, if there is a page number on the website You should blend this history lesson with the earlier reference to Galileo and war, rather than introducing him a second time As one might say, Dont be hating on the past now. People were no stupider back then; there was just less tech and workable science Try not to end on a hanging statement. Who else? Then you would continue with a discussion of them, if its important; if not, youd bring it back to Galileo After the hanging comment above, you want to stick Newton in the topic (first) sentence of this paragraph. Give his full name and dates Well, one offshoot. You want to be careful not to generalize too quickly Since youve already used this quote, you dont need to give it again. Just refer back to it: What Sun Tzu said 2,500 years ago, . All of these factors are a result of the US once mighty and powerful economy. The fact of the matter is that the economy is largely driven by war. Twenty-five hundred years ago the Chinese general Sun Tzu wrote, "If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles." But how are U.S....
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Human Impact Essay, MachariaChad'scomments - Funches 1...

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