7. Revising for Essentials

7. Revising for Essentials - Revising for Content and...

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Unformatted text preview: Revising for Content and Revising for Content and Organization 1 Take a Drink from a Fire Hose Take 2 Revising Overview Revising Overview • The easiest way to revise is to do it in multiple passes. • You never catch all the weaknesses in a paper when you try to do it in one pass 3 Strategies for Revising Strategies for Revising • Look at it from the readers point of view • Here are the steps to take in revising – Pass #1 Content and Organization – Pass #2 Coherence* – Pass #3 Emphasis; Proofing * • This is time tested and is universally This recognized as the most effective way to revise revise 4 Content and Organization Content and Organization Remember, your reader will probably only skim your document. You have to gain his attention. You have to make it resonate with him. 5 Content and Organization Content and Organization • Look at your document as a whole • Is the message clear? • Is the content accurate and are all references consistent throughout? • Do you need to add content or edit some out? Prune out excess words ruthlessly. 6 Content and Organization Content and Organization • You wrote from an outline. • Now go back and construct an outline from the document. • Does this outline look like your planning outline? 7 Content and Organization Content and Organization Your new outline will help you break down blocks of text into essential ideas and makes the sequence of points easy to evaluate. 8 Content and Organization Content and Organization • Is the coverage adequate? Too much? Too little? • Remove redundant information • Do the recommendations support the conclusions? 9 Content and Organization Content and Organization • Are there any contradictions? • Are the main points obvious? Do the subordinate points relate to the main points? • All topics mentioned in the introduction should be referred to in the conclusion 10 Reading Level Reading Level • Is the document written at the right level? • The “right level” normally is at an 8th grade level • Look at the Gunning Fog Index and the Flesch­ Kincaid Grade Level 11 The Gettysburg The Gettysburg Address Four score and seven Four years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived continent new in Liberty, and dedicated to the Liberty and dedicated proposition that all men are created proposition equal. 12 12 Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a dedicate final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper altogether that we should do this. 13 13 But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we dedicate consecrate can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far consecrated above our poor power to add or detract. detract. 14 14 The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can remember never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated dedicated here to the unfinished work which they unfinished who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. 15 15 It is rather for us to be here dedicated to dedicated the great task remaining before us -remaining that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for devotion which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve devotion that these dead shall not have died in vain -vain 16 that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the government people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. 17 17 Summary – a Speech for Boggle Summary – a Speech for Boggle • 271 words (vs. 13,607) • 3 paragraphs • 16 lines • 10 words with 3 syllables (used in 17 instances) • 1 word with 4 syllables 18 The Long Words The Long Words • • Absolutely common o Continent o Liberty o Dedicate(d) o Remember o Unfinished o Remaining o Government Not as common o Proposition o Consecrate(d) o Altogether o Devotion 19 Calculating the Gunning Fog Index 1: Count out a 100­word passage. Make sure the passage ends with a full stop (.), even if you go slightly above or below exactly 100 words. 2: Find the average sentence length by dividing 100 by the number of sentences in the selected passage. 20 20 • 3: Count the number of words with three 3: or more syllables. This number gives you the percentage of ‘hard words’ in the passage. passage. – Don’t count: o Proper names o Combinations of easy words like ‘typewriter’, Combinations ‘newsletter’ o Verb forms that become three syllables when you Verb add es, ing, or ed (Example: transmitted) add o Jargon familiar to your readers Jargon 21 21 4: Add the average sentence length (Step 2) to the number of hard words (Step 3). 5: Multiply the total in Step 4 by 0.4 to get the reading level for the passage 22 22 Note: Easy reading range is 6­10. The average person reads at grade level 9. Anything above 17th level is difficult for university students. 23 23 How does the Gettysburg Address Stack How does the Gettysburg Address Stack UP? • Average sentence length in first 100 Average • • • • • words: 20 words: Words with more than 2 syllables: 19 Less: common words that everyone Less: understands:13 understands:13 Difficult long words: 19-13 = 6 Sentence length + hard words = 26 Fog Index = 26 X .4 = 10.4 24 Typical Fog Index Scores Fog Index •6 Print Item TV guides, Shakespeare, The TV Bible, Mark Twain •8 Reader's Digest Reader's •8 – 10 Most popular novels Most •10 Time, Newsweek •11 Wall Street Journal •14 The New York Times, The Guardian •15 – 20 Academic papers •Over 20 Only government sites can get away with this, Only because you can't ignore them. •Over 30 The government is covering something up 25 25 Flesch – Kincaid Grade Level Flesch • In Word locate the Spelling-Grammar tab In Spelling-Grammar • In lower left hand corner of the drop down In box, press Options Options • Under Proofing find and check Show Under Proofing Readability Statistics Readability • Word will give you the Flesch – Kincaid Word Grade Level value. In this case: 10.9 for Grade the entire speech. the 26 Lists • Breaks up blocks of dense text & complex Breaks sentences sentences • Makes key ideas stand out • Shows relationship of parallel or Shows sequential ideas sequential • Must be grammatically parallel – E.g. Each list item should begin with the E.g. same part of speech same 27 27 Lists • Don’t overuse or use to avoid writing Don’t paragraphs paragraphs • If the document is all lists, reader can’t If determine what is important and what is not. not. • Too many lists and the reader will have to Too connect the strings of separate items without the help of transitional ideas. without 28 28 Lists • Use numbers on lists that indicate the rank or sequence of items. • Use bullets on lists that do not. 29 29 Using Lists Summary • • • • • • • List only comparable terms Use parallel structure throughout Use only words, phrases, or short sentences Provide adequate transitions before and after lists Use numbers when rank or sequence is important Use bullets when ranking or sequence is not important Do not overuse lists 30 30 ...
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