Cover Letter - For this revision, I changed my first...

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April 28, 2011 Laura Tholke, Instructor Miami University 3077 Farmer School of Business Oxford, OH 45056 Dear Ms. Tholke: In Business 102 class, section W, I was asked to revise the business letter assignment I had written earlier in the year. The goal of the assignment was to prepare a one page letter in block format. Discuss why I wish to be part of the Farmer School of Business, and if and how my values and goals relate to the education I am about to receive. This assignment allowed me to practice skills of organization, writing concisely, and writing in a clear and professional tone. My letter was about why I want to be in the business school and why I would be a good addition to it. In that assignment, I focused my conciseness, being more specific and working in the mission of the Farmer School of Business.
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Unformatted text preview: For this revision, I changed my first paragraph by removing unnecessary sentences like I have always enjoyed learning about different business topics throughout my adolescence and when I took my first economics class in high school, I knew business was what I wanted to study. This sentence seemed too wordy and unnecessary. I changed my second paragraph to more directly apply to the mission statement. I also changed little words throughout my letter to make the letter seem to flow better with less wordiness. The most important insight I gained from this revision assignment was the need to be more specific in examples so I dont seem too ambiguous and cut unnecessary words and sentences for overall clarity. Sincerely, Dan Croghan (transmitted electronically) Dan Croghan...
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This note was uploaded on 08/29/2011 for the course BUS 102 taught by Professor Waldrop during the Spring '08 term at Miami University.

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