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Unformatted text preview: For this revision, I changed my first paragraph by removing unnecessary sentences like I have always enjoyed learning about different business topics throughout my adolescence and when I took my first economics class in high school, I knew business was what I wanted to study. This sentence seemed too wordy and unnecessary. I changed my second paragraph to more directly apply to the mission statement. I also changed little words throughout my letter to make the letter seem to flow better with less wordiness. The most important insight I gained from this revision assignment was the need to be more specific in examples so I dont seem too ambiguous and cut unnecessary words and sentences for overall clarity. Sincerely, Dan Croghan (transmitted electronically) Dan Croghan...
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This note was uploaded on 08/29/2011 for the course BUS 102 taught by Professor Waldrop during the Spring '08 term at Miami University.
- Spring '08