Feedback_for_Yueming_Guo[1] - comparing what you have...

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English 209 Essay #2 Evaluation Criteria 1 Does the opening of the essay provide general and relevant background information on the topic? Yes No Your opening is weak; overly general.  You have a serious grammar error  in the first sentence and your second sentence question does not add  anything to your point.  The third sentence continues with over- generalizations (never say 'and so on' in college writing!).  Then your  summary of Niella and Barna doesn't go far enough.  You write what the  article is about but give no examples. 2 Does the reading make clear, at any point, which reading is is the source for the comparison between ideas and experience? Yes No 3 Does the essay provide a specific focus that reveals a perspective on the relationship between ideas in the reading and personal experience? Yes No  Review the summary writing guidelines in the purple pages of Guideliines  and expand upon your introduction.  Secondly, work on your thesis by 
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Unformatted text preview: comparing what you have written to the thesis writing instructions in Troubleshooting Guide. 4 Does the essay provide sufficient paraphrased and quoted references to the reading? Yes No Paragraph structure for your first body paragraph looks good. 5 Does the essay provide sufficient and relevant experiences to support or challenge points made about the reading? Yes No 6 Does the conclusion discuss the implications of what is written in the body of the essay Yes No 7 Is the essay logically structured? Yes No second body paragraph contains no topic sentence, but the remaining structure looks better. Comments: 1 You need to use academic formatting. See the template that I have posted for this purpose and use it for all of your courses. You use the wrong font and the wrong font size....
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This note was uploaded on 09/10/2011 for the course ENG 209 taught by Professor Staff during the Spring '11 term at S.F. State.

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Feedback_for_Yueming_Guo[1] - comparing what you have...

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