lab8pm - the paper Example The novel written by Steve Lopez...

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Pamela McElrath Eng. Lab. 104 Lab. # 8 Essay Two Hi Student; enjoyed reading about the book Third and Indiana. You began the essay stating that the story takes place in the area of Philadelphia known as the Bad Lands but you don’t explain why it acquired that name. The novel is about the struggle of a mother ( Ofelia ) that tries to help her son stay out of trouble and a son ( Gabriel ) that finds the wrong crowd to befriend. You don’t give the reason for his actions. Combing some sentences would help the coherence in
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Unformatted text preview: the paper. Example; The novel written by Steve Lopez takes place in an area of Philadelphia known as the Bad Lands. The area acquired this name because…. . Te essay also contains passive sentences like the opening of the second paragraph. Gabriel had gotten involved. Try to write in the affirmative. Gabriel became involved. Try sticking to the important seens in the book and explain the reason for the actions of the character. Revise and combine sentences, and write in the present when possible. Hope these suggestions help. Your essay has left me wanting to read the book for myself. Good Luck!!...
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This note was uploaded on 09/13/2011 for the course LEARNING L 110 taught by Professor Afrancis during the Spring '11 term at Community College of Philadelphia.

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