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Unformatted text preview: When I read the paper "A Problem with Financial Aid," I was impressed with the comparison between the line for financial aid at the College and a line for an amusement at Disney World. I also appreciated the author's attempt to propose some solutions to this problem. Paragraph 3, "So this problem...," seems to be the strongest. It has a topic sentence and then includes some reasonable solutions to the problem. Two patterns of errors which I noted were problems with verb tenses, especially in paragraph one and sentence fragments, especially in paragraph 3. Since most of the verbs are expressed with the proper tense markers, I assume that the errors are due to poor proofreading, and I would try to address this by asking the student to read this paragraph closely, identifying each verb and then checking the tense. In order to address the fragment problems, it might take a bit of instruction on what constitutes a sentence and why these are not sentences. Two of the fragments begin with -ing forms of verbs, and this type of error can usually be sentences....
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- Spring '11