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Unformatted text preview: the weak phase is more common and more constant than the second. Almost everybody
loves praise and appreciation, for these enlarge the ego feeling, and some, perhaps most, like to be helped,
though here, as was above stated, there is a feeling of inferiority aroused which may be painful. Relatively
there are few who are ready to praise, especially those with whom they are in close contact and with whom
they are in a sort of rivalry. The same is true of genuine appreciation, of real warm fellow feeling; the leader,
the hero, the great man receives that but not the fellow next door. As for giving, charity, kindness, these are
common enough in a sporadic fashion, but rarely are they sustained and constant, and often they have to
depend on the desire "not to be outdone," not to seem inferior,--have, as it were, to be shamed into activity.
For there is competition even in fellowship.
There are people, especially among the hysterics, who are deeply wounded when sympathy is not given, when
appreciation and praise is withheld or if there is the suggestion of criticism. They are people of a "tender ego,"
not self-sustaining, demanding the help of others and reacting to the injury sustained, when it is not given, by
prolonged emotion. These sensitive folk, who form a most difficult group, do not all react alike, of course.
Some respond with anger and ideas of persecution, some with a prolonged humiliation and feeling of
inferiority; still others develop symptoms that are meant to appeal to the conscience of the one who has CHAPTER XI. 94 wounded them. On the other hand, there are those whose feeling of self sustains them in the face of most
criticism, who depend largely upon the established mentor within themselves and who seek to conform to the
rulings of that inward mentor. Such people, if not martyred too soon, and if possessed of a fruitful ideal, lay
new criteria for praise and blame.
Contrasting with the desires and purposes of fellowship we find the desires and purposes of superiority and
power. Primarily these are based on what McDougall calls the instinct of self-display, which becomes
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This note was uploaded on 09/26/2011 for the course PSYCHOLOGY 110 taught by Professor Kannan during the Spring '11 term at Anna University Chennai - Regional Office, Coimbatore.
- Spring '11