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is not reached; disunion results, almost, let us say, from the very start. What happens?
Many adjustments may take place. A crude one is that the pair, after much quarreling, decide to separate or
become divorced, or on a still cruder, ignoble level, one or the other runs away, deserts the family. A common
adjustment, of an anti-social kind, forms the basis of much of modern and ancient literature; the partners seek
compensation elsewhere, enter into illicit love affairs and maintain a dual existence which rarely is peaceful or
happy. Indeed, the nature of the situation, with outraged conscience and fear of exposure, prevents happiness.
But there are those who in such a situation do what is known as "make the best of it." They avoid quarrels,
they keep up the pretense of affection, they seek to discover the good qualities in the mate; they are, as we CHAPTER X. 83 say, resigned to the situation. To be resigned is to accept an evil with calmness and equanimity, but without
energy. Resignation and courage are closely related, though the former is a rather pallid member of the family.
The poor and the miserable everywhere practise this virtue; the church has raised it perforce to the most
needed of qualities; it is a sort of policy of nonresistance to the evils of the world and one's own lot.
But resignation represents only one type of legitimate adjustment, of sublimation. By sublimation is meant the
process of using the energy of a repressed desire and purpose for some "higher" end. Thus in the case of
domestic unhappiness the man may plunge himself deeply into work and even be unconscious of the source of
his energy. This type of adjustment is thus a form of compensation and is seen everywhere. In the case of
many a woman who gives herself over to her children without stint you may find this sublimation against the
disappearance of romance, even if no actual unhappiness exists. Where a woman is childless, perforce and not
per will, an intense communal activity often develops, leading to good if that activity is intelligent,...
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- Spring '11