Exhibit of Revision - Pham 1 Stephanie Pham A. Shaw English...

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Pham 1 Stephanie Pham A. Shaw English 1102 7 December 2010 Exhibit of Revision Process For the revision exhibit, I pieced together various drafts of a paragraph from my second essay about Walt Whitman's poem, When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom. I chose to do this because as I completed each draft, I could see the essay forming. It began as a vague idea and developed into a full paragraph complete with quotes, evidence, and analysis. The points gradually came together to form a cohesive argument that was, (in my opinion) well written and very persuasive. ------ Prewrite/Journal The dominant trope he employs are metaphors that extend throughout the text. For example, lilacs are the first symbol mentioned in the beginning of the poem. Whitman constantly refers to them, noting that they are perennial and come back each April. In addition, April is the month that Lincoln is assassinated and Whitman sees the continual blooming of lilacs as a reminder of his death, remarking that “[he] mourn'd and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring”. This contrasts usual human nature, which sees the emergence of spring as a time of happiness or rebirth. Additonally, the lilac itself can be interpreted as a representation of Lincoln. When the speaker picks a lilac, he notes that it is “a sprig with its flower [he] break[s].” The act of
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Pham 2 snapping the stem of the lilac parallels the act of killing Lincoln. The flower is destroyed as is Lincoln. Here, I began by knowing what my topic sentence was going to be. I knew that I would be discussing metaphors and symbols: the lilac in particular. It was a very short paragraph with my initial ideas about the role that the lilac played in the poem and the importance of the flower. There is one quote, and very little evidence or analysis. I had a very minimal idea of what I was going to write about. Refined Idea The dominant trope he employs are metaphors that extend throughout the text. For example, lilacs are the first symbol mentioned in the beginning of the poem. Whitman constantly refers to them, noting that they are perennial and come back each April. In addition, April is the month that Lincoln is assassinated and Whitman sees the continual blooming of lilacs as a reminder of his death, remarking that “[he] mourn'd and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring”. This contrasts usual human nature, which sees the emergence of spring as a time of happiness or rebirth. Additonally, the lilac itself can be interpreted as a representation of Lincoln. When the speaker picks a lilac, he notes that it is “a sprig with its flower [he] break[s].” The act of snapping the stem of the lilac parallels the act of killing Lincoln. The flower is destroyed as is Lincoln. The lilacs also convey the speaker's acceptance of Lincoln's death. When the body of
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Exhibit of Revision - Pham 1 Stephanie Pham A. Shaw English...

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