TSresults - Topic Sentence Results Cluster#1 Religion is an important part of stemming the self-esteem crisis because of the values it teaches of

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Topic Sentence Results Cluster #1 Religion is an important part of stemming the “self-esteem” crisis because of the values it teaches of putting one’s “self” behind them for the better of the group. Good—but it would be good to say “Horizon” or “Evangelical Christianity” rather than just “religion.” This is important for two reasons: first, it makes this a clearer connection between the specific topics of our two authors, which is what a good TS does; second, it makes the claim less sweeping (“Really?! ALL religion does this?!”) and more believable. Religion takes away from individualism by allowing a higher power to dictate who you are. Good—though again, what’s interesting here is that Horizon seems to exhibit the traits that Twenge associates only with traditional religions, not new-age ones, so it would be good to specify Horizon rather than just say “religion.” Also, the wording here is ambiguous. “Takes away from” sounds like the author is siding with individualism, whereas the next sentence unapologetically calls self-esteem a problem, which indicates that the author does not side with individualism. The tone, in other words, seems
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This note was uploaded on 10/02/2011 for the course EXPOS 101 taught by Professor Frank during the Spring '07 term at Rutgers.

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TSresults - Topic Sentence Results Cluster#1 Religion is an important part of stemming the self-esteem crisis because of the values it teaches of

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