final review - CMS 315M Interpersonal Communication Final...

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CMS 315M – Interpersonal Communication Final Review 10/19 – Pick-ups and Love I. Stages a. Assess qualifiers a.i. Extraordinary – most people don’t have but everyone knows about it. ex: Someone that has Olympic medals. a.ii. Esoteric – almost no one knows what it means but if it means something to you, you pay attention to it. Only you know what it means. It’s special to you. ex: Noticing someone listening to the Virgins. b. Assess availability c. Find an opener c.i. Innocuous – ask for a favor not related to the relationship at all Question Something to get the conversation going Doesn’t show interest Saves you from embarrassment “Can you pass me a napkin please?” “Excuse me, do you know the time?” c.ii. Flippant – pick up lines People don’t typically use. Sometimes works. c.iii. Direct approach – “I noticed you’re alone. Can I buy you a drink?” Straight-forward, direct. Used more often by older people. d. Find an integrative topic Keep convo going. Both of you can talk about the topic. Use an open question. e. Present a “come-on” self Make yourself interesting. Physically: stand up taller and suck in stomach. Verbally: good BS about yourself f. Schedule a second encounter Get number. Make sure you see them again Love I. Types a. Passionate a.i. Altruism – “I’ll do anything for you.” Do things to please other person. a.ii. Attractiveness – Everything about them is great. Lustful. a.iii. (Blissful) b. Companionate – friendship b.i. Respect – for each other b.ii. Congeniality – easy to be with. Easy to hang out with. Same likes. Get along. b.iii. (lasts longer) c. Commitment – in this together, stuck together Take care of each other c.i. Fidelity – faithful c.ii. Responsibility – take care of each other Romantic love : smile, nod, lean toward partner Sexual desire : lip biting, lip licking, protruding tongue, sucking II. Falling in Love - Correlates a. Romanticism – “When we’re in love, everything will be okay.” Passionate love has lots. Idea that relationships coast once couple is in love. More men think this about falling in love. Women think love takes work (less romanticism) b. Love experiences More men fall in love. Women fall deeper in love. c. Partner idealization Girls do it longer than boys. Boys lose partner idealization quicker. d. Physical attraction Men care longer than women do. Reflect what other person wants. e. Timing Girls take longer to fall in love – more consequence for girls so they are more reserved
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Girls value relationship/love more once they fall in love. They take it more seriously Girls are slower to fall in love. III. Sex a. Sex and Communication a.i. Talking about sexual likes and dislikes : a.i.1. Better sexual relationships a.i.2. Better overall relationship satisfaction a.ii. Communication during sex b. Sex and Romance b.i. Feelings of love (especially for women) b.i.1. Sexual intimacy b.i.2. Desire for frequent sex and various kinds of sex
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This note was uploaded on 10/11/2011 for the course CMS 315M taught by Professor Daly during the Fall '07 term at University of Texas at Austin.

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final review - CMS 315M Interpersonal Communication Final...

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