Using excel and other analysis software we

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Unformatted text preview: 词滥调。 20.填一个评估问卷来确定您初稿的有效性。 8.2 实例分析 下面我们将通过对一份初稿及其第一、二修改稿的逐步审查来回答该如何对文书做 ·101· 成功留学文书写作必备 全面的修改工作。样稿中的申请人要申请英国 Imperial College 经济系的金融硕士专业。 请先看初稿: 1.Born into an intellectual family, I began to learn painting when I was a child., While a student, I have had my works exhibited openly. From this early exposure to art, I have formed the habit of thinking independently and attentively. Also, I have cultivated an ability of careful observation, such as appreciating the most subtle emotion or catching a quickly changed color in nature. I have found out great enjoyment in watching and creating. As I enjoy exploring unknown things, sometimes I am more adventurous than my peers. However, only in the experience of continuously inquiry and innovation can I be best myself. In a word, this is my way of life. 2. Thanks to my years of rigorous training in painting, I have become unusually patient. I know well that a masterpiece needs both perseverance and dedication. I know that I may not become a great artist, but I definitely will put all myself into my favorite career, whatever I choose in the future. 3.It has been a long time since I was firstly fascinated with Finance while I was in university. After nearly four years of work experience in a big commercial bank in China. I really feel that I am on the way to my ideal professional aim. At this stage, I need continue with further study in my professional field. After careful comparison, your Msc Finance program seems very suitable to me. 4.In regard to my time as a student, most of my education to date is characterized by preeminence. In 1995, I entered into university without examination, which was a privilege only given to outstanding candidates. In Chongqing University, one of the best universities in China, I had the opportunity to learn many economic theories. Seeking to ride the tide of China's econom...
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This note was uploaded on 08/15/2010 for the course ENGLISH W340 taught by Professor Prof.simonfeng during the Spring '10 term at Arizona Western College.

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