Unformatted text preview: accomplish, first by cleaning up my thesis and understanding what I wanted to do with this paper, and from there tying in my body paragraphs. There are many differences between my first and final drafts, but the most noticeable can be found in the introductory paragraph. I felt my body paragraphs were strong, only that they needed direction that would come once I nailed down my thesis statement. The thesis statement is drastically different in my final draft; it is more specific, more clearly identifies what Graham wants to accomplish, and explains why it is important that he tried to accomplish this. The introductory paragraph better leads into the thesis as well. while I did improve grammar and made some sentences more clear and focused, the main changes were in the opening paragraph. The only thing I would like you to know is that I am ready for any and all criticism, as I truly am looking to become a better writer....
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- Spring '11
- Debut albums, Better, body paragraphs