The-Power-of-Conversational-Hypnosis

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Unformatted text preview: The Power of Conversational Hypnosis Published by Clifford Mee & Igor Ledochowski © Igor ledochowski Legal Matters ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this ebook may be reproduced or transmitted in any form whatsoever, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any informational storage or retrieval system without expressed written, dated and signed permission from the publisher and his contributors. DISCLAIMER AND/OR LEGAL NOTICES The information presented herein represents the views of the publisher and his contributors as of the date of publication. Because of the rate with which conditions change, the publisher and his contributors reserve the rights to alter and update their opinions based on the new conditions. This course is for informational purposes only and the publisher and his contributors do not accept any responsibilities for any liabilities resulting from the use of this information. While every attempt has been made to verify the information provided here, neither the publisher nor his contributors and partners assume any responsibility for errors, inaccuracies or omissions. Any slights of people or organizations are unintentional. TABLE OF CONTENTS CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD1 18 THE POWER OF CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS WELCOME WHAT YOU WILL LEARN PROGRAMME STRUCTURE OVERVIEW OF THE HOME STUDY COURSE Signal Recognition System Beyond Rapport Hypnotic Language Foundation & Advanced Hypnotic Language The Authority Strategy – Tactics To Ensure Success Emotional Triggers – Controlling Inner Pictures & Feelings How To Destroy Resistance With Stories – Parts 1 & 2 Conversational Inductions – How To Deal Directly With The Unconscious Mind Conversational Trance Formulas – Getting Exactly What You Want Advanced Frame Control – How To Irresistibly Lead Any Interaction Advanced Hypnotic Language The Authority Strategy – Tactics To Ensure Success How To Master Conversational Hypnosis WHAT HYPNOSIS IS NOT WHAT IS HYPNOSIS? THE DARK SIDE OF HYPNOSIS THE 4 STAGE HYPNOTIC PROTOCOL Stage 1: Absorb Attention Stage 2: Bypass The Critical Factor Stage 3: Activate An Unconscious Response Stage 4: Lead The Unconscious To Desired Outcome CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS IN ACTION - EXAMPLE 1 BREAKDOWN OF EXAMPLE 1 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS IN ACTION - EXAMPLE 2 BREAKDOWN OF EXAMPLE 2 EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2 Exercise 2: END OF CD1 18 18 19 20 21 21 22 22 22 23 23 23 24 25 25 25 25 25 28 31 32 33 33 34 34 34 35 37 38 40 40 41 41 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD2 43 BEYOND RAPPORT & SIGNAL RECOGNITION SYSTEMS WELCOME WHAT IS RAPPORT Matching & Mirroring A Study on Matching & Mirroring THE 6 MOST COMMON MISTAKES IN BUILDING RAPPORT Rapport Mistake Number 1 Rapport Mistake Number 2 Rapport Mistake Number 3 THE 6 MOST COMMON MISTAKES IN BUILDING RAPPORT – CONTINUED… Rapport Mistake Number 4 Rapport Mistake Number 5 43 43 43 44 44 45 45 46 47 48 48 50 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 1 Rapport Mistake Number 6 HYPNOTIC RAPPORT HYPNOTIC WARNING AN EXPERIENCE OF HYPNOTIC RAPPORT RAPPORT HOOKS SIGNAL RECOGNITION SYSTEMS HEIGHTENED AWARENESS HEIGHTENED AWARENESS – CONTINUED… HYPNOTIC WARNING HEIGHTENED AWARENESS EXERCISE TRANCE SIGNALS Trance Signal 1 Trance Signal 2 Trance Signal 3 Trance Signal 4 Trance Signal 5 Trance Signal 6 Trance Signal 7 Trance Signal 8 Trance Signal 9 Trance Signal 10 Trance Signal 11 Trance Signal 12 EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2 EXERCISE 3 EXERCISE 4 EXERCISE 5 EXERCISE 6 EXERCISE 7 END OF CD2 50 52 53 53 56 58 59 61 62 62 64 65 65 66 66 66 67 67 67 68 68 68 68 69 70 70 71 71 72 73 74 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD3 75 HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE FOUNDATION WELCOME DIRECTIONALISED LANGUAGE A SMOOTH FLOW OF IDEAS Principle 1: Verbal Agreement Principle 2: Plausibility Hypnotic Warning Hypnotic Example Prinicple 3: Piggy Back Suggestions Principle 4: Linguistic Bridges 4 Words of Power HYPNOTIC WARNING HYPNOTIC EXAMPLE (4 WORDS OF POWER) BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC EXAMPLE (4 WORDS OF POWER) Principle 1: Repetition Of Hypnotic Themes Principle 2: Priming Unconscious Responses Principle 3: Tonality & Rhythm Principle 4: Piggy Back Suggestions Principle 5: The Yes Set More Linguistic Bridges 75 75 75 76 76 76 77 77 77 78 78 79 79 80 81 81 81 82 82 82 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 2 The Street Hypnosis Deck HYPNOTIC WARNING HYPNOTIC EXAMPLE (FULL HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE PATTERNS) THE “MILTON MODEL” Bonus Handout Sheets On The Milton Model THE PERFORMANCE ELEMENT IN HYPNOSIS Birdwhistell Study The Importance Of Tonality Performance Principle 1: Go First BMIRs & Body Language THE PERFORMANCE ELEMENT IN HYPNOSIS – CONTINUED… Performance Principle 2: Squeeze The Meaning Exercise on Tonality: Squeeze The Meaning Exercise 1 Exercise 2 THE PERFORMANCE ELEMENT IN HYPNOSIS – CONTINUED… Performance Principle 3: Emphasis THE PERFORMANCE ELEMENT IN HYPNOSIS – CONTINUED… Performance Principle 4: Rhythm & Tone Handclapping Drill THE PERFORMANCE ELEMENT IN HYPNOSIS – CONTINUED… Performance Principle 5: Develop A Trance Voice THE PERFORMANCE ELEMENT IN HYPNOSIS – CONTINUED… Performance Principle 6: The 3 Tonalities (Command & Doubt) Questioning Tonality: Non-Verbal Yes Set Questioning Tonality: Create Doubt Hypnotic Principle: Imply Don’t Assert Questioning Tonality: Keep ‘Em Talking Command Tonality EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2 EXERCISE 3 EXERCISE 4 EXERCISE 5 EXERCISE 6 EXERCISE 7 EXERCISE 8 END OF CD3 82 83 83 84 85 86 86 86 87 87 88 88 89 89 89 90 90 92 92 92 94 94 96 96 96 97 97 97 98 98 99 100 100 101 102 103 104 105 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD4 106 THE AUTHORITY STRATEGY – TACTICS TO ENSURE SUCCESS WELCOME POWER TACTICS Power Tactic 1: High Status POWER TACTICS – CONTINUED… How To Become High Status High Status Signal 1: Calm Movements High Status Signal 2: Use Of Space High Status Signal 3: Expose Vulnerable Parts High Status Signal 4: Steady Eye Contact POWER TACTICS – CONTINUED… Power Tactic 2: The Consistency Principle Consistency Tactic: Demonstrate Authority 106 106 106 107 109 109 110 111 111 112 113 113 113 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 3 AGREEMENT TACTICS THE ACCESS STATE PRINCIPLE AGREEMENT TACTICS – CONTINUED… Agreement Tactic 1: Plausibility HYPNOTIC WARNING HYPNOTIC EXAMPLE (PLAUSIBILITY TACTIC) AGREEMENT TACTICS – CONTINUED… Agreement Tactic 2: The Agreement Habit The Agreement Habit Principle: Positive Reinforcement AGREEMENT TACTICS – CONTINUED… Agreement Tactic 3: The Yes Set Yes Set Number 1: Repeat What They Say Yes Set Number 2: State Obvious Facts Yes Set Number 3: Make Truisms AGREEMENT TACTICS – CONTINUED… Agreement Tactic 4: The Piggy Back Principle Piggy Back Suggestion Example 1 Piggy Back Suggestion Example 2 Piggy Back Suggestion Example 4 PERSISTENCE TACTICS PERSISTENCE TACTICS – CONTINUED… Persistence Tactic 1: The Hypnotic Triple PERSISTENCE TACTICS – CONTINUED… Persistence Tactic 2: Seeding Hypnotic Ideas PERSISTENCE TACTICS – CONTINUED… Persistence Tactic 3: The Law Of Successive Approximations PERSISTENCE TACTICS – CONTINUED… Persistence Tactic 4: The Law Of Compounding Effect EXERCISES EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2 (THE INSTANT POWER MEDITATION) EXERCISE 3 (MENTAL REHEARSAL FOR SUCCESS) EXERCISE 4 EXERCISE 5 EXERCISE 6 EXERCISE 7 EXERCISE 8 END OF CD4 115 116 117 117 118 119 120 120 120 122 122 122 123 123 124 124 125 125 125 126 127 127 128 128 130 130 132 132 132 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 140 141 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS BONUS CD1 143 STEALTH TACTICS WELCOME INTRODUCING STEALTH TACTICS STEALTH TACTIC 1: THE LAW OF REVERSE EFFECT The Law Of The Imagination STEALTH TACTIC 2: REDIRECT RESISTANCE STEALTH TACTIC 3: REFOCUS ATTENTION Distraction Tactic 1: Change Topic Distraction Tactic 2: Confusion Distraction Tactic 3: Overload STEALTH TACTIC 3: IMPLICATION Implication Tactic 1: Implied Directives Implication tactic 2: Create An Expectation 143 143 143 146 146 150 152 154 154 154 154 156 156 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 4 Implication Tactic 3: Tacit Authority STEALTH TACTIC 4: PRESUPPOSITIONS Presupposition 1: Awareness Presupposition 2: Time & Timed Sequence Special Insight: Stack Presuppositions Presupposition 3: Adverbs & Adjectives STEALTH TACTIC 5: BINDS & DOUBLE BINDS Special Tactic: Conscious-Unconscious Double Bind SPECIAL INSERT - TRANCE VOICE INDUCTION TABLE THE CONSCIOUS AND THE UNCONSCIOUS MINDS EXERCISES EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2 EXERCISE 3 EXERCISE 4 EXERCISE 5 EXERCISE 6 END OF BONUS CD1 156 157 158 158 159 159 160 162 163 163 165 165 166 168 169 170 171 172 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD5 173 EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS: CONTROLLING INNER PICTURES AND FEELINGS WELCOME THE ACCESS STATE PRINCIPLE (ASP) Change Moods Not Minds A Study On The Access State Principle States Are The Key To Peak Performance Changing Moods Changes Minds EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS Pavlolv’s Dogs William Twitmeyer – The Unsung Hero Of Unconscious Responses Post Hypnotic Suggestions An Overview Of How To Implant An Emotional Trigger In Someone Conditions For Setting An Emotional Trigger Condition 1: Access A Clear State Condition 2: Set A Trigger Condition 3: Condition The Trigger Condition 4: Test The Trigger HOW TO SET AN EMOTIONAL TRIGGER Step 1: Use The 4 Stage Protocol Step 2: Induce A State Step 3: Intensify The State Step 4: Associate State To Your Emotional Trigger A Quick Review Of How To Set Emotional Triggers STATE INDUCING METHOD 1: REVIVIFICATION QUESTIONS STATE INDUCING METHOD 1: NOTES ON THE DEMONSTRATION STATE INDUCING METHOD 1 DEMONSTRATION BREAKDOWN OF STATE INDUCING METHOD 1 DEMONSTRATION STATE INDUCING METHOD 2: SENSORY RICH DESCRIPTIONS Key Secret 1: Describe Sensations In All The Senses Key Secret 2: Imagine The Scene Key Secret 3: Describe Only What Must Be In The Scene Key Secret 4: Flow Smoothly From Idea To Idea HYPNOTIC WARNING 173 173 173 173 174 175 175 176 177 177 177 178 179 179 179 180 180 180 180 181 182 182 183 184 186 187 188 189 189 190 190 191 192 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 5 STATE INDUCING METHOD 2 DEMONSTRATION BREAKDOWN OF STATE INDUCING METHOD 2 DEMONSTRATION Additional Secret 1: Use vivid Metaphors Additional Secret 2: Be A Movie Director HOW TO INTENSIFY A RESPONSE Intensifying Technique 1: Direct Suggestion HOW TO INTENSIFY A RESPONSE – CONTINUED… Intensifying Technique 2: Layered Emotional Triggers HOW TO INTENSIFY A RESPONSE – CONTINUED… Intensifying Technique 3: Use Modular Enhancers HOW TO INTENSIFY A RESPONSE – CONTINUED… Intensifying Technique 3: Control Inner Pictures HOW TO SET THE EMOTIONAL TRIGGER THE ABSAIL FORMULA FOR INFLUENCE Absorb Bypass The Critical Factor State Change Augment & Intensify Link to Action EXERCISE 1 Step 1 Step 2 EXERCISE 2 EXERCISE 3 END OF CD5 192 195 196 196 197 198 199 199 200 200 202 202 203 204 204 204 204 204 205 205 206 206 206 207 207 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD6 209 ADVANCED HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE WELCOME PRECISION LANGUAGE Precision Language Secret 1: Hot Words Key Insight 1: Hot Words Are The Vocabulary Of The Unconscious Key Insight 2: Great Sources For Hot Words Key Insight 3: Contrast Hot Words For Greater Impact Task 1: Discover Hot Words Task 2: Use Hot Words PRECISION LANGUAGE – CONTINUED… Precision Language Secret 2: Hypnotic Words Key Insight 1: Hypnotic Words Revivify Experiences Key Insight 2: Use Hypnotic Words In Layers PRECISION LANGUAGE – CONTINUED… Precision Language Secret 3: Hypnotic Themes PRECISION LANGUAGE – CONTINUED… Precision Language Secret 4: Personal Trance Words Key Insight 1: How To Spot Personal Trance Words Key Insight 2: Use The Same Tonality PRECISION LANGUAGE – CONTINUED… Precision Language Secret 5: Action Accelerators Key Insight 1: Use Social Pressure To Get Unconscious Responses PRECISION LANGUAGE – CONTINUED… Precision Language Secret 6: Anticipation Builders Key Insight 1: Frustrating A Response Will Intensify It PRECISION LANGUAGE – CONTINUED… 209 209 210 210 211 211 211 212 212 213 213 214 214 215 215 216 216 217 217 218 218 218 219 219 219 220 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 6 Precision Language Secret 7: Language Softeners Key Insight 1: Soften Commands To Avoid Antagonising people Key Insight 2: Make A Failure To Respond To A Suggestion Irrelevant Key Insight 3: There Are Times To Be Direct And Drop The Soft Language HYPNOTIC WARNING PRECISION LANGUAGE DEMONSTRATIONS THE LANGUAGE TRICK Ambiguous messages THE LANGUAGE TRICK – CONTINUED… The Language Of Confusion THE LANGUAGE TRICK – CONTINUED… Double Negation THE LANGUAGE TRICK – CONTINUED… The Overloading With Details THE LANGUAGE TRICK – CONTINUED… The change of meaning THE LANGUAGE TRICK – CONTINUED… Shock & Surprise HYPNOTIC WARNING THE LANGUAGE TRICK DEMONSTRATION The Amnesia Language Pattern EMBEDDED SUGGESTIONS EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2 EXERCISE 3 EXERCISE 4 EXERCISE 5 EXERCISE 6 EXERCISE 7 EXERCISE 8 END OF CD6 220 220 221 222 222 222 223 223 225 225 226 226 226 226 227 227 229 229 230 231 231 231 234 236 237 238 238 239 240 240 241 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD7 242 HOW TO DESTROY RESISTANCE WITH STORIES WELCOME THE POWER OF STORIES HOW TO USE HYPNOTIC STORIES Use Simple Stories About Trance Themes Embed Suggestions Inside Stories Isomorphic Stories Prime The Unconscious Mind WHAT MAKES A STORY A STORY? The Structure Of A Story Story Secret 1: Start With A Routine Story Secret 2: Break The Routine Story Secret 3: Change Someone Story Secret 4: Re-incorporation SIMPLE STORY DEMONSTRATION STORYTELLING IS A STATE OF MIND Exercise: A Strange New World A Strange New World Demonstration Discussion Of Demonstration HOW TO THINK CREATIVELY WITH STORIES 242 242 243 245 245 245 246 246 248 249 249 250 250 250 250 252 252 253 254 255 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 7 Exercise: The Forest Gump Game 256 INTRODUCTION TO THE FOREST GUMP EXERCISE 256 EXERCISE: FOREST GUMP WORD PAIRS 257 HOW TO INCLUDE ANY THEME, CONCEPT OR IDEA IN YOUR STORIES 257 Example Of Re-incorporation Exercise 259 EXERCISE: INCORPORATE AN IDEA 260 HOW TO POLISH YOUR STORIES 261 Insider Trick 1: Don’t Try To Be Good 261 Insider Trick 2: Let The Muck Come Out 261 Insider Trick 3: Visualise The Scene 262 Insider Trick 4: Keep Things Inside “The Circle” 262 Insider Trick 5: Just Keep Talking! 263 INTRODUCTION TO THE RULE OF 3 EXERCISE 264 EXERCISE DEMONSTRATION – THE RULE OF 3 264 Discussion Of The Demonstration 265 EXERCISE: THE RULE OF 3 266 HOW TO CREATE EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS WITH STORIES 266 DEMONSTRATION: CREATING EXCITEMENT WITH STORIES 268 BREAKDOWN OF THE DEMONSTRATION 270 ADDITIONAL INSIGHTS INTO STORYTELLING 271 Additional Insight 1: Don’t Block or Wimp Out 271 Additional Insight 2: Take It One Step At A Time 273 HOW YOUR STORYTELLING EXPERIENCE WILL PROGRESS 274 Master Storyteller’s Strategy 1: Let Your Own Stories “Slip Out” Naturally 274 Master Storyteller’s Strategy 2: Collect A Storehouse Of Great Stories 275 Master Storyteller’s Strategy 3: Remember Only The Highlights Of Each Story 276 Master Storyteller’s Strategy 4: Use Your Signal Recognition System 276 EXERCISES 277 END OF CD7 278 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD8 279 CONVERSATIONAL INDUCTIONS: HOW TO DEAL DIRECTLY WITH THE UNCONSCIOUS MIND 279 WELCOME 279 Hypnotic Warning 279 HOW TO BECOME A GOOD CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOTIST 280 The Four-Stage Protocol 280 Stage 1: Absorb Attention 280 Stage 2: Bypass Critical Function 280 Stage 3: Activate An Unconscious Response 280 Stage 4: Lead The Unconscious Response To A Desired Result 280 Secret Of Hypnosis 1: Be Very Direct 281 Secret Of Hypnosis 2: Move From Being Direct To Indirect As Your Skill Improves 281 THE 60 SECOND HYPNOTIST 282 Secret Of Hypnosis 3: Get A Lot Of Experience 282 Exercise Explanation: The 60 Second Hypnotist 283 The “Let’s Pretend” Frame 283 The Four Steps Of The 60 Second Hypnotist 284 Step 1 (60 Second Hypnotist): Induction 284 Step 2 (60 Second Hypnotist): Deepener 285 Step 3 (60 Second Hypnotist): Suggestion Phase 285 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 8 Step 4 (60 Second Hypnotist): Reorientation DEMONSTRATION: 60 SECOND HYPNOTIST BREAKDOWN OF 60 SECOND HYPNOTIST DEMONSTRATION EXPLANATION OF THE HYPNOTIC GAZE INDUCTION The Myth Of The Hypnotic Gaze Banished 1st Secret Of The Hypnotic Gaze: It Absorbs Attention 2nd Secret Of The Hypnotic Gaze: It Increases Resposiveness 3rd Secret Of The Hypnotic Gaze: It Subtly Suggests A Hypnotic Trance 4th Secret Of The Hypnotic Gaze: Sub-Communicate Good Will 5th Secret Of The Hypnotic Gaze: Confidence Breeds Success EXERCISE: THE HYPNOTIC GAZE INDUCTION Step 1: Go First Step 2: Focus Your “Hypnotic Gaze” Step 3: Use A Hypnotic Tonality Step 4: Describe the Trance Experience DEMONSTRATION OF THE HYPNOTIC GAZE INDUCTION BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC GAZE INDUCTION DEMONSTRATION HOW TO REFINE THE HYPNOTIC GAZE INDUCTION Refinement 1: Overt And Covert Hypnotic Voices Refinement 2: My Friend John Technique Refinement 3: Extended Quotes BONUS CD: ADVANCED SECRETS TO BYPASS RESISTANCE EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2 EXERCISE 3 Stage 1: Eye Contact & Slow, Hypnotic Voice Step 2: Focus Through The Person Step 3: Go First Step 4: The Full Blown Hypnotic Gaze Induction EXERCISE 4 EXERCISE 5 END OF CD8 286 287 288 289 290 291 291 292 292 293 295 295 296 297 298 299 303 306 306 307 307 308 308 309 310 310 310 310 311 311 311 312 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS BONUS CD2 314 ADVANCED SECRETS TO BYPASS RESISTANCE 314 WELCOME 314 INTRODUCING THE PIGGY BACK INDUCTION 315 THE MECHANICS OF THE PIGGY BACK INDUCTION 315 THE PIGGY BACK INDUCTION LAID OUT STEP BY STEP 318 Piggy Back Induction Step 1: Make True Statements 318 Piggy Back Induction Step 2: Add A Suggestion 318 Piggy Back Induction Step 3: Repeat Steps 1 & 2 319 Piggy Back Induction Step 4: Increase The Number Of Piggy Back Suggestions 319 Direct v Indirect Uses Of The Piggy Back Induction 319 DEMONSTRATION OF THE PIGGY BACK INDUCTION 320 HOW TO REFINE THE PIGGY BACK INDUCTION 321 Refinement 1: Talk About Indirect Hypnosis Themes 322 Refinement 2: My Friend John Technique 322 Refinement 3: Start External And Move To Internal Awareness 322 Refinement 4: Read Minds! 323 Mind Read 1: Personal Experiences 323 Mind Read 2: Beliefs & Expectations 324 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 9 Mind Read 3: Truisms & Generalisations Mind Read 4: Cultural Assumptions INTRODUCING THE TRANCE VOICE INDUCTION HOW TO USE THE TRANCE VOICE INDUCTION Trance Voice Induction Step 1: Compare The Conscious & Unconscious Minds Trance Voice Induction Step 2: Use A Conscious Voice & An Unconscious Voice Trance Voice Induction Step 3: Go Between The Conscious & Unconscious Minds Trance Voice Induction Step 4: Reverse The Process To End The Trance DEMONSTRATION OF THE TRANCE VOICE INDUCTION DISCUSSION OF TRANCE VOICE INDUCTION INTRODUCING SENSORY RICH DESCRIPTIONS & STORIES Sensory Description Technique 1: Directly Describe An Experience Sensory Description Technique 2: Share Your Own Experience DEMONSTRATION OF THE SENSORY RICH DESCRIPTION INDUCTION ONE LAST REFINEMENT… MULTIPLE REALITIES EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2 EXERCISE 3 EXERCISE 4 END OF BONUS CD2 324 324 325 328 328 328 328 328 330 333 334 335 335 336 338 340 341 341 342 342 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD9 344 HOW TO DESTROY RESISTANCE WITH STORIES – PART TWO WELCOME HOW TO USE STORIES TO GET WHAT YOU WANT Hypnotic Story 1: Use It To Deliver Embedded Suggestions HOW TO USE STORIES TO GET WHAT YOU WANT Hypnotic Story 2: Install An Emotional Trigger HOW TO USE STORIES TO GET WHAT YOU WANT Hypnotic Story 3: Offer Metaphorical Resolutions HOW TO USE STORIES TO GET WHAT YOU WANT Hypnotic Story 4: Prime The Unconscious Mind THE PERSUASIVE POWER OF NESTED LOOPS Special Principle: The Zeigarnik Effect THE FOUR LEVELS OF NESTED LOOPS Information Sheet: How To Destroy Resistance With Stories LEVEL 1: THE BASIC NESTED LOOP Start Story 1 Start Story 2 Start Story 3 Suggestion Phase Close Stories: 3, 2 and 1 Hard & Soft Loops Soft Loops Hard Loops LEVEL 2: THE INTERMEDIATE LEVEL NESTED LOOP LEVEL 3: THE ADVANCED NESTED LOOP LEVEL 4: THE MASTERY LEVEL NESTED LOOP HOW TO DESIGN A SERIES OF NESTED LOOPS 7 Steps To Easily Create A Complete Set of Hypnotic Nested Loops Creating A Loop Step 1: Begin With The End In Mind Creating A Loop Step 2: Imagine Your Audience Creating A Loop Step 3: Overcome the Hurdles 344 344 345 345 346 346 347 347 349 349 350 351 352 352 353 353 353 353 354 354 354 354 355 356 359 362 364 364 364 364 365 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 10 Creating A Loop Step 4: Brainstorm Creating A Loop Step 5: Start In The Middle Creating A Loop Step 6: Fill In The Blanks Creating A Loop Step 7: Use The Creative Loop Become A Natural Storyteller THE AMAZING, SECRET BONUS TRACK REVEALED EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2 EXERCISE 3 END OF CD9 365 366 366 367 368 369 370 371 371 372 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS BONUS CD3 374 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS IN ACTION: THE SUPER HYPNOTIC STORYTELLER WELCOME PRE-FRAME & CAPTURE ATTENTION STORY LOOP 1 – FIRST HYPNOSIS ATTEMPT BYPASS CONSCIOUS MIND STORY LOOP 2 – JONGLEURS (IMPROVISATIONAL THEATRE) STORY LOOP 3 – THE STORYTELLER STORY LOOP 4 – THE GOLDEN RAM AND THE WISER EWE (YOU!) INTER-LOOP SUGGESTIONS 1 – DIRECT SUGGESTIONS CLOSE LOOP 4 – THE RAM AND THE WISER EWE (YOU!) INTERIM LOOP 3 – THE STORYTELLER STORY LOOP 5 – MARTHA’S ATTIC INTER-LOOP SUGGESTIONS 2 – PARALLEL PROCESS CLOSE LOOP 5 – MARTHA CLOSE LOOP 3 – THE STORYTELLER CLOSE LOOP 2 – JONGLEURS (IMPROVISATIONAL THEATRE) CLOSE LOOP 1 – HYPNOSIS ATTEMPTS END HYPNOTIC TRANCE Trigger Suggestions: END OF BONUS CD3 374 374 374 375 375 375 377 378 380 381 381 382 383 385 385 386 386 387 387 387 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD10 389 ADVANCED FRAME CONTROL: HOW TO IRRESISTIBLY LEAD ANY INTERACTION WELCOME WHAT IS A FRAME? FRAME WARS Frame Tests FRAME WAR TACTICS FOR SUCCESS Frame War Tactic 1: Maintain Your Frame Frame War Tactic 2: Preframing Frame War Tactic 3: Reframing Frame War Tactic 4: Deframing HOW TO USE PREFRAMES HOW TO ESTABLISH A GOOD FRAME THE POWER OF REFRAMING Context Reframes Meaning Reframes THE SECRET ART OF DEFRAMING HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR FRAME IN A CHALLENGING WORLD 389 389 390 393 394 395 395 395 395 396 397 399 402 402 402 404 407 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 11 TACTICS FOR DEALING WITH FRAME TESTS Frame Tactic 1: Do Not React Frame Tactic 2: Give Them “The Look” Frame Tactic 3: Handle The Genuine Objection SOME USEFUL FRAMES TO LIVE BY Abundance v Scarcity Frame Cause v Effect Frame EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2 EXERCISE 3 EXERCISE 4 EXERCISE 5 EXERCISE 6 EXERCISE 7 END OF CD10 410 413 413 414 414 415 416 417 418 419 419 420 421 422 423 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD11 424 CONVERSATIONAL TRANCE FORMULAS – GETTING WHAT YOU WANT WELCOME THE LIFE PROCESS How To Use The LIFE Checklist “L” Is For Language “I” Is For Induction “F” Is For Frames “E” Is For Emotion THE PCAT FORMULA TO HELP PEOPLE CHANGE "P" Is For Problem "C" Is For Confused “A” Is For Active Solution/Resources “T” Is For Transform "P" Is For The Problem “C” Is For Confuse The First Purpose Of Confusion The Second Purpose Of Confusion The Third Purpose Of Confusion “A” Is For Activate Solution Activation Strategy 1: Reframe Activation Strategy 2: Stories Activation Strategy 3: Emotional Triggers Activation Strategy 4: Find Past Experiences Activation Strategy 5: Visualization “T” Is For Transform DEMONSTRATION OF PCAT FORMULA BREAKDOWN OF PCAT FORMULA DEMONSTRATION FUTURE MEMORIES Future Memory Tactic 1: Stories Future Memory Tactic 2: Direct Suggestion Future Memory Tactic 3: Ask Leading Questions The Future Memory Process POST HYPNOTIC SUGGESTIONS Post Hypnotic Suggestion Condition 1: Suggest A Behaviour Post Hypnotic Suggestion Condition 2: Select a Trigger Post Hypnotic Suggestion Condition 3: Bypass Consciousness 424 424 425 426 426 426 427 427 428 429 429 429 429 429 430 430 431 431 431 431 431 431 432 432 432 432 434 437 438 438 439 439 441 442 442 442 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 12 HOW TO INSTALL A POST HYPNOTIC SUGGESTION Post Hypnotic Suggestion Installation Step 1: Induce A Trance Post Hypnotic Suggestion Installation Step 2: Suggest Behavior Post Hypnotic Suggestion Installation Step 3: Induce Amnesia Post Hypnotic Suggestion Installation Step 4: Return To Trance Post Hypnotic Suggestion Installation Step 5: Self Esteem Suggestions Step 1: Induce A Trance Step 2: Suggest Behavior Remember To Set A Trigger Step 3: Create Amnesia Amnesia Technique 1: Language Pattern Amnesia Technique 2: Change Topic Amnesia Technique 3: Nested Loops Fractionation Step 4: Return To Original Trance Step 5: Build Their Self Esteem THE COMILA FORMULA The Motivation Problem The 2 Types Of Motivation Solving The Motivation Problem With COMILA “C” Captivate Attention. “O” Outflank Resistance “M” Mood Changes “I” Intensify The Mood “L” Link The Mood “A” Action Begin With The Little Things DEMONSTRATION OF THE COMILA FORUMLA BREAKDOWN OF COMILA DEMONSTRATION EXERCISE 1 END OF CD 11 443 444 444 444 444 444 444 445 445 446 446 446 446 447 447 447 448 448 448 449 450 450 450 451 451 452 452 454 456 460 460 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS BONUS CD4 462 TOP SECRET: BREAKING THE HYPNOTIC STORYTELLER CODE WELCOME INTRODUCTION BREAKDOWN OF THE NESTED LOOPS Story Loop 1: Examples – My First Attempts At Hypnosis Story Loop 2: Anecdotes – Jongleurs Story Loop 3: Direct Stories – The Storyteller Story Loop 4: Fairy Tales – The Golden Ram & Wiser Ewe Story Loop 5: Semi-Direct Stories – Martha’s Attic BREAKDOWN OF STRUCTURE & SEQUENCE Use Of Mini Loops Inside of Nested Loops How to design and create the stories Key Insight: Make Stories Adaptable BREAKDOWN OF THE TRANCE PROCESSES Step 1: Set The Parameters Step 2: The Problem Step 3: Confuse Step 4: Activate Resources Step 5: Start Hypnotic Induction Resource Layer 1: Relax & Take It Easy 462 462 462 463 464 464 465 465 465 467 467 468 469 470 470 470 470 471 471 472 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 13 Resource Layer 2: Seed Idea For Being A Great Storyteller 472 Resource Layer 3: Get Inspired To Tell Stories 472 Resource Layer 4: Isomorphic Metaphor – The Allegory Of A Wiser Ewe (You!) 472 Step 6: Transform 473 Resource Layer 5: Embedded Suggestions – Trust Your Unconscious 473 Step 6: Activate More Resources 474 Step 7: Transform Part 2 – The Parallel Process 474 Deeper Meaning 1 474 Deeper Meaning 2 474 Deeper Meaning 3 475 Letting Go 475 Finding Inspiration 475 Summary 476 BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – PART 1-3 476 Deconstructing Paragraph 1-3 477 Embedded Suggestions 477 Preframing 477 Ambiguous Messages 478 BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – PART 4 479 Deconstructing Paragraph 4 479 Preframing 479 Ambiguous Messages For Surprise 480 Use Pauses To Imply New Meaning 481 Keep Looking For More Language Patterns! 481 BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – CONTINUED… PART 5 481 Deconstructing Paragraph 5 482 Seed An Idea - Prime The Solution 482 BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – PART 6-7 483 Deconstructing Paragraph 6 483 Start The Indirect Conversational Induction 483 Use Yes Sets & Piggy Back Suggestions 483 Subtle Preframing 483 Deconstructing Paragraph 7 484 “You’re Unconscious” – The Ambiguous Instruction 484 Create An Emotional Trigger 484 Add New Frames To Emotional Trigger 485 Rhythm, Rhyme & Trance 486 BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – PART 8-11 486 Deconstructing Paragraph 8 487 Deconstructing Paragraph 9 487 The Fairy Tale Induction 487 Deconstructing Paragraph 10 488 The “Ewe” v “You” Ambiguity 488 Deconstructing Paragraph 11 489 Seeding Suggestions For Later 489 BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – PART 12 489 Deconstructing Paragraph 12 489 Embedded Suggestion To Alert Unconscious Of Multiple Meanings 489 BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – PART 29-31 490 Deconstructing Paragraph 29-31 490 An Example Of Frame Control 491 BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – PART 40-43 491 Deconstructing Paragraph 40 492 Using “Tag Phrases” To Keep Things Together 492 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 14 Deconstructing Paragraph 41 Deconstructing Paragraphs 42-43 Start An Unconscious Memory Search Seed The Idea Of Changing The Future BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – PART 44-52 Deconstructing Paragraph 44 Deconstructing Paragraphs 45-48 Deconstructing Paragraphs 50-52 BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – PART 58 Deconstructing Paragraph 58 BREAKDOWN OF THE HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE – FINAL PARTS The Indirect Ending Of Trance END OF BONUS CD4 493 493 493 494 495 495 495 496 496 496 497 497 498 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD12 499 HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS WELCOME HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS ONE STEP AT A TIME HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS – STEP 1 Master Technique 1: Linguistic Bridges Master Technique 2: Precision Language Special Technique: Hot Words Special Technique: Precision Language – Amplification Language Master Technique 3: Ambiguous Messages Master Technique 4: Confusion Language Special Technique: Shock And Surprise HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS – STEP 2 Master Technique 5: Beyond Rapport Special Technique: Status Special Technique: Wide Rapport Special Technique: Rapport Hooks Special Technique: Fractionate Rapport Special Technique: Instant Rapport Technique Master Technique 6: Signal Recognition Special Technique: Heightened State Of Awareness Master Technique 7: Tonality Go First! Special Technique: Squeeze The Meaning Special Technique: Command Tonality Master Technique 8: The Authority Strategy Special Technique: Power Tactics Special Technique: Agreement Tactics Special Technique: Persistence Tactics HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS – STEP 3 Master Technique 9: The Hypnotic Gaze Induction Special Reminder: 4 Stage Protocol Special Reminder: 60 Second Hypnotist Special Technique: Hold The Gaze Special Technique: Lower The Voice Special Technique: Focus Through The Person Special Technique: Describe The Trace Experience Master Technique10: Make It Indirect Special Technique: “My Friend John/Jane” 499 499 499 501 501 502 502 503 503 503 504 504 504 505 505 505 505 505 505 506 506 506 506 507 507 507 507 508 508 509 509 509 510 510 510 510 510 510 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 15 Special Technique: Extended Quotes HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS – STEP 4 Master Technique 11: The Piggy Back Induction Special Technique: Use Multiple Topics Special Technique: Build A Yes Set & Add A Piggy Back Suggestion Master Technique 12: Make It Indirect Special Technique: Cover Hypnotic Themes Special Technique: Switch External To Internal Focus Special Technique: Mind Reads HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS – STEP 5 Master Technique 13: Trance Voice Induction Special Technique: Create A Special Trance Voice Special Technique: Conscious Voice & Unconscious Voice Special Technique: Create Multiple Hypnotic Voices Master Technique 14: Embed Multiple Levels of Suggestion HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS – STEP 6 Master Technique 15: Sensory Rich Descriptions Master Technique 16: Stacked Realities Special Technique: Learn To Tell Stories Master Technique 17: Embedded Suggestions Special Technique: Use Ambiguous Messages HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS – STEP 7 Master Technique 18: Frame Control Special Technique: Maintain your Frame Special Technique: Preframe Special Techniques: Assume & Imply Special Technique: Reframe Special Technique: Deframe HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS – STEP 8 Master Technique 19: Use The Trance Formulas Special Technique: PCAT Formula For Personal Change Special Technique: Future Memories Special Technique: Post Hypnotic Suggestions Special Technique: The COMILA Formula To Motivate Action Special Technique: Find The Smallest First Step HOW TO MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS – STEP 9 Master Technique 20: Nested Loops Special Technique: Basic Loops Special Technique: Hard v Soft Loops Special Technique: Intermediate Level Loops Special Technique: Advanced Loops Special Technique: Master Level Loops WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU MASTER CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS Use The LIFE Formula EXERCISE 1: HYPNOTISE 1000 PEOPLE END OF CD 12 511 511 511 512 512 512 512 512 513 513 513 514 514 514 514 516 516 516 517 517 517 518 518 518 519 519 520 520 521 521 521 522 522 522 523 523 524 524 524 525 525 525 527 527 527 528 APPENDIX 530 PART 1 LANGUAGE PATTERN CARDS PART 2 – THE MILTON MODEL HANDOUTS Conversational Trance Blueprint - 1 (1) Cause - Effect (2) Complex Equivalence 530 539 539 539 539 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 16 (3) Mind Reading (4) Lost Performative (5) Modal Operators of Necessity/Possibility Conversational Trance Blueprint - 2 (6) Universal Quantifiers (Generalisations) (7) Nominalisations (8) Unspecified Verbs (9) Lack of Referential Index (10) Comparative Deletions (11) Tag Questions (12) Pacing Current Experience (13) Conversational Postulate Conversational Trance Blueprint - 3 (14) Double Binds (15) Extended Quotes (Stacking Realities) (16) Presuppostions (17) Ambiguities Extra Language Patterns Blueprint - 1 (1) Truisms about Sensations (2) Truisms utilising Time (3) Not Knowing, Not Doing (4) Open-ended Suggestions (5) Covering all Possibilities of Responses (6) Questions to Facilitate New Response Possibilities (TDS) (7) Compound Suggestions Extra Language Patterns Blueprint - 2 (8) Negative - Tag Questions (9) Negative - Until (10) Shock, Surprise (11) Implication and Implied Directive (12) Binds and Double Binds (13) Multi-Level Communication (What is a Meta for?) PART 3 – THE GORGIAS © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 539 539 540 540 540 540 540 540 540 540 540 541 541 541 541 541 541 542 542 542 542 542 542 542 543 543 543 543 543 543 543 543 545 17 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD1 The Power Of Conversational Hypnosis Track 1: 2m58s Welcome Welcome to the power of Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Course. You’re in for a special treat, as in this updated course, I’m going to show you the latest developments in Conversational Hypnosis for both persuasion and influence. Over the course of these 12 audio CDs, I will show you the cutting edge techniques that I have been using to create personal change in people, and inspire them to act unconsciously, and enjoy doing so… Now, if you follow the exercises that I have created for you, you will master these skills to influence just about anyone that you want to. Why am I doing this? Well, I believe that everyone deserves to make their way through life easily. I want people to walk through the world with their heads held high. They’re exuding a kind of charm that touches everyone around them, turning heads, intriguing and inspiring them to do great things. Well Conversational Hypnosis gives you that power. With it you can design amazing new realities, in which you, your family and friends, your colleagues, and your clients, can really enjoy life. Through the power of Conversational Hypnosis you can create a private world in which the hum drum drudgery of everyday life simply does not exist. And then, then you get to invite people to join you there. With Conversational Hypnosis you can change people so they can have more fun around you. And doing what you ask of them somehow makes them feel good. Think about it. Who wouldn’t jump at the chance to have that kind of experience? What if you could come home, to your husband or wife, and instead of a glum face, you saw them light up with pleasure just because you walked into that room? What if your teenage children did what you asked them to, without even thinking about arguing with you? What if a client or customer loved talking with you so much, they started to find excuses to do more business with you? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 18 What would all this be worth to you? As you listen to these CDs, and practice the exercises, you’ll find yourself getting to these kinds of situations more and more. It’s almost like magic – the magic of your unconscious mind. So, now, as soon as you can stop doing whatever you are doing, we can begin the programme. And all you have to do is simply sit back, relax, and enjoy learning Conversational Hypnosis, now. Track 2: 2m21s What you will learn So, before we launch into the meat of our programme, I’d like to give you a few ideas of the kind of things you can expect, and the kind of things you will be capable of at the end of this programme. The Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Programme was designed to make your interactions with other people easier. And it takes 3 things to use Conversational Hypnosis elegantly. 1. First, is an attitude and state of mind. 2. Secondly, is the use of hypnotic principles when choosing your words and framing your ideas. 3. And third, is a congruent performance - that is to say your mind, your body language, your tonality, and what you say – everything must come together at one and the same point. Over the course of our 12-CD audio programme, you’ll learn everything you’ll need to know in order to be able to do this, on your own, in any setting. Now, in the rest of this CD, we’ll be looking at how the whole course has been structured; how each CD has flow of information designed for your ideal and best learning experience. Then, we’ll look at the actual content that you’ll be learning over the course of these 12 CDs. Next, you’ll discover what hypnosis is not. And finally, what hypnosis is. We’ll then reveal what the 4-stage protocol is, so you already have a clear idea inside your mind, of what you want to achieve. Then we’ll have some examples of the kind of things you’ll be capable of at the end of this programme. Now, let me just say straight upfront: Some of these examples may look or sound a little bit complicated right now. And that’s okay. You haven’t taken the training © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 19 yet. This is just to whet your appetite as to the kind of things you’ll be able to do when you finish this programme. Finally, we’re going to give you some exercises. So, right from the very beginning, at the end of this very CD, you can begin the process of learning Conversational Hypnosis all for yourself. Track 3: 4m09s Programme structure Now I’d like to talk to you a little about how this CD programme is actually structured. In a moment we’ll actually be looking at the content of each of the CDs. But that’s for the next session. In this session, I want you to focus your mind on how you’ll be learning – how the information has been packaged for your learning ease. Well, the first thing we’ve decided to do is to look at hypnosis, or Conversational Hypnosis, as a series of topics that you can master one by one. That way you can have skills that you build up over time. So, on each CD you’ll find a certain topic, or range of topics that we’ll address, bit by bit, in order for you to grow your own skills. These topics will include things like inductions, conversational inductions, the foundations for hypnotic language, and trance processes you can use for influence and persuasion. Now, when you drill down into each CD, you’ll find a similar structure flowing throughout, which will make it more convenient for you to learn, and for you to understand the information that’s coming your way. First of all, we’ll start with a general discussion of principles involved with that particular topic, so that your mind can actually begin to acclimatize and understand what it is you are trying to achieve, and what you’re aiming for. Once we’ve had a general discussion of each of the principles, you’ll actually have examples of Conversational Hypnosis in action, because this way you can see the principles in action. The next sequence will typically be a breakdown of those very examples, so that you can begin to draw out, of each of the examples, the actual principles that you have been learning. It’s important for you to have an understanding, both intellectually, and for you to be able to actually recognise those things when they’re happening. This is for 2 reasons. One reason is, that out there, accidental hypnosis is happening ALL the time. It’s a really good idea to learn when someone else is using very good material without even knowing about it. On the other reason, of course, your learning will be quicker when you understand what you’re doing, and you know what it is you are trying to achieve. The next section, on each CD, will be ‘tips and tricks’ of the trade - really specific ideas, or tricks that you can apply, and to really make it work in the ‘real-life© Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 20 world’. You see, it’s one thing learning information as a theory. It’s another thing entirely learning information as a practice – something you can actually do, time and time again, in the ‘real world’. And this is where I want you to be able to use this. Which is why the next section, on every CD, is filled with exercises for your learning and comprehension. Now these exercises are actually unique. Because each of these exercises is designed for you to actually use in a normal conversation with someone who doesn’t even know you’re doing these things. Now some exercises I have to admit will be things that you can do to prepare yourself; to set yourself up for later conversations. But for the most part, these exercises will be about you talking to someone else, and learning to actually weave into your conversations the actual skills that you’re trying to build. This way you can build your skill one bit at a time. Now, at the end of this CD you’ll have some examples of what I mean by this. And if they seem a bit complex, please, don’t worry about it. You’re on the first CD of a 12-CD set. By the end of this programme you’ll be able to re-listen to the very examples I’ll give you at the end of this CD, and you’ll understand them. They’ll be easy and straightforward. And for some of you, they might even be a little bit too simple, which is when you realise that you’ve really learnt something worth learning. Track 4: 11m31s Overview of the home study course So, what will you actually be learning on this programme? Of course, this is about Conversational Hypnosis – so the most fundamental thing is for you to learn how to induce trances in a conversation. And then, how to use that particular trance in order to achieve whatever outcome or purpose you have in mind. Signal Recognition System Now one of the most fundamental skills that you have to learn in order to be able to do this, is you must open you senses. You must learn to recognise the signals that someone is going into a trance. This signal recognition system, that I’ll be revealing to you on the second CD, will allow you to see when people are actually responding to you hypnotically. And this is so important. Because this way, you don’t have to be that salesman that oversells a client, and keeps talking and talking and talking until the point when the client no longer wants to buy the very thing they came in the shop to buy in the first place. When you can see people responding to you, you know it’s time to move onto the next part of the sequence. So it’s so important for you eyes and your ears and © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 21 even your feelings to open up and become attuned to what is happening around you. With a signal recognition system, you’ll actually see people going in and out of trances in the everyday world. Sometimes because you’re doing it. Other times because other people are doing it, quite by accident. And this is where you get to learn, for the rest of your life, how to sharpen your own skills. This is one of the core skills you’ll be mastering over the course of this programme. Beyond Rapport Next, we’ll also look at how to take things beyond rapport. Beyond the normal kinds of rapport that people usually think about. This is what I call ‘hypnotic rapport’. Now, hypnotic rapport is something which is very peculiar. It’s a relationship between a hypnotist and a hypnotic subject, and it really does not exist outside of that context. It is a very, very powerful connection that people have. It’s an emotional connection, which allows people to almost literally be inside each others’ minds and understand how everyone is thinking. You will have such an intense connection with your clients, that they’ll somehow want to do whatever it is you ask them to do, just because they will find it so pleasing to themselves. And this is a very important thing. Part of the hypnotic rapport establishes a kind of skewed relationship where you as the hypnotist will be set up as the authority figure in the subject’s world. And this is so important, because it allows a client to follow wherever you want to lead them. Hypnotic Language Foundation & Advanced Hypnotic Language Next we’ll look at the foundations of hypnotic language. Language of course is THE tool that you have for conversational hypnosis. Now how do you shape the language in your conversations to make it more hypnotic, to trigger the brain into a hypnotic state, and into responding to you in hypnotic ways? The Authority Strategy – Tactics To Ensure Success Well, there’s a lot of things that you have to learn, including the actual principles that actually allow you to phrase suggestions - to formulate the actual hypnotic ideas, so that the unconscious mind responds to them. These principles are so important, because without them you have no idea what you’re doing. You can copy what other people do, and maybe do a great performance. But you’ll always be stuck because, until someone tells you how to achieve the next step, you’ll never know. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 22 However, with the principles we will be revealing in here, you have the ultimate freedom to achieve any purpose and continue learning throughout a lifetime of achievements. Emotional Triggers – Controlling Inner Pictures & Feelings Now, the next thing you’ll learn is what are called ‘emotional triggers’. Now as you’ll see in this programme, emotions are really the domain of unconscious responses. So when you learn to trigger, inside someone’s mind, an unconscious response, it gives you control of the very pictures and feelings that run that person’s entire life. You will literally be like a person sitting inside their head, seeing the pictures they run, noticing the feelings that they feel, and being able to shift them into healthier, happier, and more rewarding ways of living. And of course, this whole programme is about creating more rich, rewarding and happy places for everyone around you. How To Destroy Resistance With Stories – Parts 1 & 2 Next, we’ll look at stories; the power of destroying resistance with stories. Stories are incredibly powerful vehicles, especially inside a conversation. We all know people, you know, who are charming, they’re relaxed, they tell stories – everyone finds them fascinating. They’re almost mesmerized by how exciting these stories are and the ideas that are presented there. You will not only learn how to mesmerize people with your stories, you’ll learn how to use those stories in order to literally hypnotize someone – to put them into a hypnotic trance, and then respond to you in the way that you want to. Stories are incredibly powerful because they will bypass the normal conscious filtering system and allow you to place your ideas, your thoughts, your perceptions, your filters and frameworks DIRECTLY into someone’s unconscious mind. In fact, these things are so important, I’m going to dedicate 2 whole CDs to the art of mastering hypnotic storytelling. Conversational Inductions – How To Deal Directly With The Unconscious Mind Next, we’ll actually look at the formal ways of inducing a trance inside a conversation: How to just slip from your normal everyday speaking into a conversational hypnotic induction. So you can deal directly with the unconscious mind. And it is important that you deal directly with the unconscious mind. Because that is what hypnotists do. And learning how to shape a conversation, so that anyone else listening will hear normal flow of interaction, but for you and your subject a © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 23 very different reality is beginning to take place. That takes great skill and understanding. I will go on to give you the understanding and the exercises that will allow you to build that skill. Then, you’ll be able to actually use hypnotic processes to help people to change: change a mind; have a better life; or just be able be more happy and more enjoyable people around you. Conversational Trance Formulas – Getting Exactly What You Want Now, what I call these conversational trance formulas are THE KEY formulas for getting what you want. They’re very, very important because most hypnotists can actually get people into a trance pretty easily. The skill comes in what you do when you get them there. How do you actually get someone to do what you want them to do – to change their mind, to feel better, to enjoy their life more? And that is what these advanced formulas have been designed to teach you. We’ll be revealing, for example, the ‘P-CAT’ formula for personal change, so that you can help your friends who are having a bad day, feel better. Or overcome problems like a break-up in a relationship. We’ll also be looking at the ‘COMILA’ formula for persuasion and influence. This will be particularly interesting to those of you who are in sales, education, management, and have to lead people, inspire people, make people want to learn or do certain things. You’ll have that power with the COMILA formula. We’ll also run through the LIFE Checklist. This is a special checklist I’ve created to make sure you know when you’re actually having a hypnotic interaction. If you include the 4 pieces of the LIFE Checklist, any conversation will turn into hypnotic interaction. Finally, we’ll be looking at certain trance processes, like ‘future memories’. Now, future memories are interesting, because it allows you to create a memory inside someone’s mind that hasn’t happened yet. And one that is so compelling the unconscious mind just wants to make it happen. Of course, the only way to do that is to follow your suggestion, and turn it into a real memory – something that happened in the past. Then we’ll be wrapping up with some concepts like ‘stacking realities’, and the ‘accidental trance identification’. These are all powerful processes for getting way past people’s conscious resistance and interference, and getting directly to where the money’s at; to the unconscious mind. Because remember this: All behaviour, all learning, and all change happen unconsciously FIRST of all. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 24 Advanced Frame Control – How To Irresistibly Lead Any Interaction Next, we’ll be looking at ‘advanced frame control’. This allows you to lead any interaction, in any direction that you want. Frame control is the key to controlling the direction a conversation goes in. And also the key to making people’s perceptions and understandings of the world be one way or another. You will have those keys when you cover ‘advanced frame control’. Advanced Hypnotic Language We’ll also be looking at some more advanced hypnotic language. Once you have the foundation of hypnotic language, I want you to really train your mind to see and understand how to influence people around you with just the way you phrase your suggestions. It’ll make you very eloquent in the way that you present yourself. People will seem to understand your point more clearly. And people will want to respond to it as well. The Authority Strategy – Tactics To Ensure Success Then we have the ‘authority strategy’. These are tactics to ensure success in everything that you do. Remember, right on CD2 you’ll be looking at this hypnotic rapport – what it is – this strange and very intense relationship between a hypnotist and your hypnotic subject. And one of the powerful strategies involved in that is the ‘authority strategy’, which allows you to have the skewed position where people simply want to do what you ask them to do. This is very, very powerful and I think you’ll enjoy this section particularly much. How To Master Conversational Hypnosis And finally, you will look at how to bring everything together: How to master Conversational Hypnosis in action. You’ll take every single piece that you’ve been polishing and practicing and carefully preparing over the entire 12CDseries, and you’ll be putting them together into this beautiful, rich tapestry of communication. Where people will just love listening to you, and really enjoy doing what you ask them to do. So that’s what you’ll be learning. So, what we need to do next is address this idea of ‘what hypnosis is and what it is not’. Track 5: 8m50s What hypnosis is not So, as you’re becoming conversational hypnotists, the very first thing you must learn is what is hypnosis is, and what it is not. Now, I’m going to address that second part first – in other words, what hypnosis is not – because you really must clear up any misconceptions of what it is you are trying to achieve right at the outset. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 25 Now many people have this huge misunderstanding about what hypnosis is – the films, the media, books, articles – all these things have really created this misconception of ‘power’ in hypnosis; of complete control; of domination of another human being. Personally, I think it’s a good thing that that is not possible. You see, in hypnosis you are negotiating with someone’s unconscious mind. And the unconscious mind is the place where people’s ethics and moral code is really stored. So in hypnosis you’ll never get someone to break their ethical code. But “hold on” you’ll say, “I saw a stage show and all these people were running around, acting like chickens, and doing all kinds of crazy things. Surely the hypnotist, on that show, had complete control?” Well, yes and no. Let me explain what I mean by that. An analogy I’d like to draw is: imagine a magician doing his show. Now, in this show he causes a woman to levitate up off the ground, and fly around the audience, before coming right back to the front stage. The question is this: “Did the woman fly?” Sure, she was 6-foot up in the air. Sure, she made a tour around the entire audience, and she was genuinely up in the air in that position. But was it really levitation? Was it really flying? No. Everyone knows that some kind of trickery, some kind of machine, wires, whatever you want, was actually involved in creating the illusion of flight. Well, a stage hypnotist’s job is to create the illusion of control. Think about the very first thing that a stage hypnotist does. He invites people to come up on stage. He invites volunteers. So who’s going to volunteer to that? The person who doesn’t want to ‘cluck’ like a chicken? The person who doesn’t want to make a fool of himself? Of course not! The people who do volunteer are the people who want to be exhibitionists, want to show things off. Of course, on one level they are actually having the experience that the hypnotist is suggesting. But, it is not in any way conflicting with their own moral code. As an example, there’s a very famous case of a lady in a show who was doing everything asked of her. She was like the star of the show. When it was time to be a chicken, she was a chicken; when she talked with aliens, she talked to aliens but with elaborate gestures, and deep insight. Now, at the end of the show, when the hypnotist was wrapping things up, he decided to give everyone the chance to dance a little ‘hula’, to have a little party, to enjoy themselves up on stage, before he sent them back into the audience. And this woman refused to dance. No matter what the hypnotist did, this woman refused to dance. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 26 So the show finally comes to a close, he de-hypnotises everyone, removes all the suggestions – an important thing by the way – and he can’t help himself: he goes up to this woman and says, “Hey, listen, you were so good for the whole show, but when it came to dancing the hula, you just wouldn’t play. What happened there?” The woman looked at the hypnotist and said, “Oh, no, no, no. We don’t dance. It’s against our religion!” You see, the woman would not break her ethical code. And actually, the research in hypnosis backs this all up. There’s all kinds of research trying to get people to do things which are an ethical violation – a violation of their own moral code. And the result is, it simply does not work. As an example, Milton Erickson – the famous hypnotherapist – was working with one lady who he knew had an issue with another lady in the workplace. This was a hospital. So he knew that she really disliked another of the nurses. So in trance, he tried to implant the suggestion that when the trance was over she was going to get up, walk out of the room, find this other nurse, and, in a state of trance, slap this other nurse across the face. Kind of amusing you’d think. The thing is, this nurse refused to do it. So the more that Erickson was building, if you like, the hypnotic pressure for her to conform, at one point, the lady just turned around and said, still in a trance, “Dr. Erickson, if you don’t cease this line of enquiry immediately, the only one who’ll be getting slapped around here will be you!” You see, in that lady’s model of the world, you simply didn’t do that to someone who didn’t deserve it. Whether you wanted to do it or not was irrelevant. Now, on a deeper level, the CIA had a very famous project you may have heard of – it was called MK Ultra. In it they tried – a long, long time ago now – to create what’s called a hypnotic assassin. Much like the book The Manchurian Candidate. The hypnotist they chose for this was a man called George Estabrooks, a very famous man (you can still get some of his books). Now, this man was a great hypnotist. He was very, very skilled at what he did. And no matter what he tried, and this was going through years of research, he simply could not succeed. Now, does that mean that you can’t do things with hypnosis? Of course not. There’s a lot you can achieve with hypnosis; and some pretty crazy things too. For example, there’s the infamous ‘hypnotic messenger’. Two hypnotherapists were having a bit of a friendly rivalry. One day, the second hypnotherapist – we’ll call him ‘Paul’ – was sitting in his office, and a client comes in. As soon as he hypnotized the client, however, something unusual happens. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 27 Before he gets to actually resolve the problem, the client starts speaking in the tone of voice of the first hypnotist – we’ll call him ‘Andrew’. So Paul thinks, “Well, this is interesting”, and at the end of the session, he’s given the client the therapy, and thinks, “Hey, I think I should really answer Andrew’s point”. So, he re-hypnotizes the client, gives him some suggestions of a new message to send over to Andrew, and then sends him home. A few weeks later the client walks into Andrew’s office. Andrew begins to hypnotise him to help him with whatever other problem this client has. And, just before he actually gets to do the therapy, again the client presents his message in Paul’s voice, using Paul’s mannerisms. Now, Andrew finds this quite amusing. So, again he does the therapy, at the end of which he puts another reply into the client to send back over to Paul. Now this ‘backwards-and-forwards’ between the two hypnotherapists happens for quite some time. Now, you might think, “Okay, this is amusing,” and, “Why would the client want to play the role of this hypnotic messenger?” When you think about it, what’s actually happening here is the client is getting free therapy. Every time he visits one of these therapists’ office they didn’t charge him. They were having far too much of a good time playing ‘hypnotic messenger’. So the client gets free therapy, they hypnotists got something interesting out of their interactions, and everyone wins. And that is where hypnosis works at its best. If you have still been holding onto this idea of totally dominating someone else’s will, forget it. It won’t happen. If you want to become someone who takes over the world with your hypnotic skills, I advise you to forget it. If that were possible I’d be sitting right now on my own private island, in the middle of the Bahamas, having EVERYTHING I could possible imagine. And whilst I’m well off, I’m not THAT well off. So, as you go into the programme, I want you to now really understand what hypnosis IS. And always within this ethical mindset of “How can this be a ‘win-win’ for both of us?” Because, to the extent that you help the unconscious mind fulfil whatever mandate is there, whatever it thinks is important in life, it will do whatever it takes to work right along with you. Track 6: 6m16s What is hypnosis? So, now that we know what hypnosis is not, well what is it? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 28 Well, one way to look at hypnosis is to call it an altered state of mind. Now this altered state of mind is special in that people are more responsive in this particular altered state of mind. Their inner world will somehow become more real, and the thoughts and ideas you present – through you language and your suggestions – become a part of that inner world. Now, there’s a rule in hypnosis that anything that includes the inner world (in other words, becomes part of that inner world of someone) eventually becomes part of their outer world. If you want to help someone change a behaviour, you help them change their inner world first, and that will influence the way that the behaviour actually comes out later. But hypnosis isn’t some kind of metaphysical, strange, magical, experience. It is actually very, very natural. And whilst you’ll be learning the skills to predictably be able to put people in trances, and get them to do whatever you want – within, of course, the ethical constraints – you will actually notice normal everyday hypnosis happening all around you. You’ve had the experience, for example, of driving a car. And maybe you’ve got 10 miles to go. And suddenly you’re driving into your driveway, and you ask yourself, “Hang on a second, what just happened to the last 10 miles?” You have no real recollection of any of that journey. You know when you started. You know when you finished. But you don’t really realise what happened inbetween. This is an example of your unconscious mind taking over, and making your life easier. Of course, someone was driving the car whilst you weren’t there. And that is what the unconscious mind does best. Another example might be the elevator. Who hasn’t been in an elevator, kind of watching the numbers go up – which itself is kind of a strange thing if you think about it – just standing there, watching the numbers change, over time. And even though you know what number you want to get out on – say you want to get out on the 6th floor – and the doors open on the 3rd floor, and everyone moves out. What do you do? Of course, you move out with the rest of the crowd. And then suddenly your realise, “Hang on a second. This floor doesn’t look like my floor.” And you go back inside the lift. So what happened? Well, the lift created an experience, a cultural experience of trance. So that, when everyone else walked out of the lift, it represented a non-verbal suggestion to you to leave the lift as well. So you followed right along. So these are all examples of everyday, natural hypnosis. What are some other examples? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 29 Well, you’ve watched a film, haven’t you? You’ve watched TV? You’ve all been to the cinema? These are all examples of hypnosis in action, because you simply could not see the things, the actions on the screen – your mind would not make sense of those of those blobs of images or the ‘tinny’ sound – if you didn’t alter your own experience to incorporate it. In fact, you had to learn to be able to see images on a TV. You had to learn to be able to hear the certain sounds, particularly on the radio with the strange frequencies. In fact, anyone who has never watched TV – let’s say you take someone out of a tribe in the middle of the Amazon – who hasn’t even seen or heard of a television set, and you put him in front of a TV set, he will not be able to make sense of any of the images and sounds that come out of it. Because, we had to learn to do that. We’ve been conditioned throughout our lives to enter different kinds of trance states. And you know this. For example, you could walk into a room, and a TV might be playing, and everyone else is watching with rapt attention. But you, you just don’t quite get it. But then of course, you sit down on the sofa, you join everyone else, and within minutes, you get sucked into this reality. If you’ve ever read a book, and felt emotions changing, you’ve experienced hypnosis in action. How can you have your emotional world change? How can some books actually change people’s lives? Think about it. All it is, is some coloured ink on a piece of paper. How can that change people’s lives? Well, because of your interaction with that information, the way you alter your state or assimilate it, is a hypnotic process. And that changes your mood, your emotions, and sometimes even the very way that you walk through life. Now this is an important point by the way. An emotional response is an unconscious response. You do not consciously choose your feelings; they’re the results of your thinking on a conscious level, and they’re the results of your unconscious mind responding to the suggestions that you present to yourself. So every time your have an emotional response, you’re actually having an unconscious response. Now I’d like you to remember this, because this is going to be a guiding theme that we’ll be coming back to more and more. Now, I could sit here and give you thousands of examples of hypnosis in action in a natural setting. For example, when you work on your computer for too long, and suddenly a friend calls up, and you find it a little difficult to get into the conversation. Because you have to shift brain states, shift gears inside your mind. Any repetitive task that you like to engage in, be it running, or gardening, or anything of a similar nature, is actually hypnotic. That’s why people find it therapeutic. The difference between people who run because they like it as a therapy, as a release, and those who have to force themselves to run, because they really don’t like it, is that those who run as a © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 30 therapeutic release are entering an altered state of mind. They’re entering a trance in which they’re actually literally doing hypnotherapy on themselves without even realising it. It’s a very powerful thing to be able to do for yourself. Track 7: 5m12s The dark side of hypnosis So hopefully you’re beginning to get a sense of how natural, and how commonplace, hypnosis is. At the end of this CD, actually, I’ll be giving you a whole bunch of exercises to really refine your senses to be able to see that happening in everyday existence. But before we do this, I want to talk a little bit more about – if you like – the ‘dark side’ of hypnosis. You see, believe it or not, you’re being influenced, you’re being targeted, by thousands upon thousands of messages every single day. These messages come to you in the form of the media, advertising, news, government, post, and even other people’s opinion. Now the thing is, sometimes, this accidental hypnosis is well-intentioned, well-meaning, or even totally accidental. Other times it’s very, very purposeful. Take for example an advertisement. If you look at advertising, and how it’s actually structured, you’ll notice – especially as you gain more insight and experience with this course – that it’s actually structured in a very hypnotic way. It is designed to persuade and influence you. It is designed to get you to buy those things. Now you know that I’ve been doing a lot of work with big corporations. I could name names. And one of the most interesting things is, whilst walking into one of these ‘Fortune 500’ companies, into their marketing department, where I was doing consultation work, is them turning around and saying something along the lines of, “You know, this new product launch, I know how to get people to walk in and buy it. What I don’t know is…” and then she went into some technical detail about the thing. Now, what really struck me is the casual nature with which this marketing executive was convinced that she could launch this new product and get people to buy it. And this is what’s happening to you on a daily basis. If you think about the news broadcasts; what do they broadcast? They’re broadcasting really negative experiences: people dying, wars, financial losses, dangerous economic collapses, natural disasters. Well, why are they doing this? Well, they’re doing this because it captures your attention. It captivates you. It makes sure you watch. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 31 You see, news broadcasts are not-so-much in the business of bringing you news, as in the business of getting you to watch the news. And, would you really tune in every day if they said, “Hey, today millions of people had a normal day, and actually were pretty happy. And John Smith got up one day, and he had his coffee this morning, he kissed his wife, told his kids he loved them, went to work, and guess what?! He made the company a lot of money. He came home feeling really satisfied that he did a really good day’s job. Then he spent some time with his children, told his wife he loved her. He went to sleep a happy man.” Now that’s a charming story, but you’re not going to hear that on the news. So what it ends up giving to you, all this doom and gloom and drama, is a really skewed sense of how the world is doing. We think that really the world is a messed up place and, whatever your perceptions are, you know, feel free to hang on to them. In my opinion, 95% of the planet is happy and healthy, and people are doing good things. It’s just that 5% we’re focusing on that is really unbalanced and unpleasant. And in my personal opinion, I’d rather live in that 95% of the world, where things are happy. It doesn’t mean that you have to close your eyes to these other things. You just have to be aware that the messages you’re seeing are not necessarily as accurate a representation of the world as you think they are. Now, why am I saying all these things? Because I want you to free yourself to generate your own opinion. When you begin to treat information you are getting from these sources – the media, the government, advertising in particular, actually even films and books that you read – with just a little scepticism, you get to choose whether you want to believe this message or not. You get to choose whether it’s part of your life, or not. The only thing you need to do, to break a negative hypnotic spell that’s been cast on you, is begin to think rationally; to begin to think critically. And if you decide that you choose this message as one that’s good for you, by all means sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. But, if you decide that this is not something that you want to have in your life, just simply analyse it, criticise it, ridicule it, and say, “Hey, that’s not how the world works.” And you’ll have protected your mind from taking on board something which you really don’t need. Track 8: 5m19s The 4 stage hypnotic protocol Okay, this is it. We’re about to begin the process of learning about hypnosis itself! Now, the history of hypnosis is ancient, but it’s only in recent, modern times, in the 1880s, that hypnosis walked out of the ‘Dark Ages’ of mysticism, and we © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 32 began to look at it in a more scientific way. A man called James Braid took the old style of ‘Animal Magnetism’ and ‘Mesmerism’ and studied it. And he found out that it wasn’t some magnetic magical fluid that was doing all the work; it was actually language and suggestion, and certain thoughts and ideas. Now he’s the one who first came up with the term ‘hypnosis’ and, because when people were in a hypnotic state, he noticed that they were sort of sleepy and drowsy, and it looked very much like they were in a sleep-like state. The thing is, however, this is an inaccurate view of hypnosis. As we’ll come onto in a moment, hypnosis can happen ‘wide-eyed’ - whilst people are thinking they are wide awake – and still be hypnotic. And, for this purpose, James Braid actually changed his mind. He tried to change the word ‘hypnosis’ to what he called ‘monoideaism’. Now, the word ‘monoideaism’ never caught on, but it’s meaning is actually very interesting. ‘Monoideaism’ means ‘mono’ = a single, ‘ideaism’ (for ‘idea’) = thought or idea. So, in hypnosis, you’re making people focus on a single thought or an idea to such an extent that it becomes real for them. You’re focusing people so intensely that you create a freedom for the unconscious mind to act beyond the normal constraints of what the conscious mind thinks is permissible or real or proper. And this is the power of hypnosis. Since that day we’ve come a long, long way. And this is where the 4-stage formula becomes very important. Stage 1: Absorb Attention Stage 1, just as in the old classical system, is about capturing people’s focus. I like to call it ‘absorbing attention’. When you absorb people’s attention, you’re really drawing them into you and making sure that all their thoughts are following along the lines that you’re setting out for them. And this is going to be very, very important. Stage 2: Bypass The Critical Factor Now, before you actually get them to respond on an unconscious level to you, the 2nd Stage of the 4-stage protocol is to really ‘bypass the critical factor’. To bypass the part of their reasoning that says, “No, this isn’t so. No, this can’t be possible.” If you’ve ever given someone good advice, some advice that would actually have helped them, and they turned round to say to you, “Oh, no. You know, I’d thought of that already. That won’t work,” you’ll know what I’m talking about. That’s their ‘critical factor’ getting in the way. If you bypass that – and we’ll show you all kinds of techniques to do that – then you can present your advice, and it becomes a hypnotic suggestion: the solution actually takes. So Stage 1 is ‘absorb attention’ and Stage 2 is ‘bypass this critical thinking’. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 33 Stage 3: Activate An Unconscious Response Stage 3 is to ‘activate an unconscious response’. At this stage ANY unconscious response is a good response. It does not matter what it is. Now, for the record, what are some examples of unconscious responses? Well, the classic one is an emotional response. You don’t choose to have an emotion at a particular point in time. It occurs to you as a result of your thinking and your everyday understandings. So, whenever someone’s having an emotional response, you’re having an unconscious response. You’ll notice that people who are particularly emotional – in other words, let’s say something shocking just happened, or someone’s in love – these people are virtually immune to reason. They simply will not reason with you. They will not listen to this idea. This is because they’re already well on the way into a hypnotic process; one in which you are not a hypnotic authority in their world. Once you actually get the unconscious to respond to you as a hypnotist, you actually have something to work with. Stage 4: Lead The Unconscious To Desired Outcome And Stage 4 is all about ‘leading those [unconscious] responses into a desired outcome’. So, Stage 1 ‘absorb attention’. Stage 2 ‘bypass their critical thinking’. Stage 3 ‘activate some kind of unconscious response’. And Step 4, ‘lead them to the outcome you have in mind’. If you do those 4 things you will have a conversational hypnotic interaction. It’s as simple as that. And in a moment, in the next session, were going to show you a couple of examples of Conversational Hypnosis in action. We’ll break those down for you, remembering of course these are early days yet, so if you understand the breakdowns or not is irrelevant at this point. It’s really here just to whet your appetite. And then we’ll close with some exercises that you can do yourself to begin building some hypnotic skills. Until then, I’ll see you in the next session. Track 9: 2m20s Conversational hypnosis in action - Example 1 So, let’s turn to some examples of Conversational Hypnosis in action. In our first example we’ll use Conversational Hypnosis to help two employees overcome a dispute. Remember, that whenever there is trouble between two people, you have to manage their emotions, and their egos, in a very delicate way. Sure, you could threaten them, or bulldoze them into being quiet for a while, but you know that would just create resentment, fear, maybe even anger towards you. The elegant solution is to inspire them to resolve the conflict by themselves. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 34 So, here is an example of what you might say: “Come in George. Have a seat. “We’ll I know that you and Joe have been arguing a long time now. And I know you really don’t like him. And he certainly doesn’t like you. And I understand that you like it here, except that you’re constantly running into Joe, and it’s not right that you shouldn’t feel good every time you do that. Now, I know that you’ve been doing some exceptional work. You know, you’re very good at what you do. And you’re in line for a good promotion. And we both know what is expected of you, before you can get that promotion. But that’s not important now. What is really important is that you get back to enjoying your work here, with us. You know that you see things one way, and Joe sees things another way. And what is more important than who is right, is where we are left in terms of working environment. Everyone wants to work in an office where people simply get along. And you’re smart enough to realise that Joe is just snapping at you from some wounded pride or other. He’s like a dog that’s been bitten once too often. And I understand that you actually like training dogs. I wonder how you’d deal with a defensive dog? In any event, you’re smart enough to realise that you have time to sort this out on your own. I’m not going to preach at you, because, when you think about it, you already know what to do, don’t you?” Track 10: 4m45s Breakdown of example 1 So, let’s break that down for a moment, and find out what conversational aspects of hypnosis we can find in that. First of all, the entire piece revolves around an ‘agreement frame’. Now, if you think about the brain or the human mind as having two rooms in it, the ‘No Room’ and the ‘Yes Room’. When people are in the ‘No Room’ they are more likely to disagree with you. They want to find issue. They kind of have this need to disagree with what you’re saying. Also, when they’re in the ‘Yes Room’, they want to agree with you. It’s actually easier for them to carry on with what you’re doing, than to create the mental energy that they need to be able to disagree with you, to break that state of mind. You want people in the ‘Yes Room’. Because then they will actually be responding to you, and agreeing with you, and following through with your ideas. And how do you do that? The first thing we’re looking at is creating something called a ‘Yes-Set’. A YesSet gets people in the habit of responding with a ‘yes’. It nudges them, bit by bit, into the ‘Yes Room’. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 35 All by itself it doesn’t mean that people will simply agree with whatever you’re saying. But it begins to nudge people in that direction. How are we doing it in this case? Well, we’re presenting George with information that he must say ‘yes’ to: We’re asking him to sit down, we’re telling him he likes his work, we’re listing a whole bunch of things that he can’t help but agree with. So when we start implying that there’s a solution, at some level his mind is saying ‘yes’ to that too. And that is where the solution gets created. Now, we’re also using ‘embedded commands’. In one example we’re saying that “…it’s not right that you shouldn’t feel good every time you do that…” And, in fact, that’s a suggestion for him to feel good whenever he meets Joe, his current rival at work. Embedded commands, or more importantly ‘embedded suggestions’ are messages you can implant within messages. So that consciously they hear one thing, whereas unconsciously another message is being delivered. These are very powerful things that we’ll be dealing with soon. There’s also a lot of use of implication, and assumption, in what we’re doing. Notice for example that we’re implying that the promotion won’t be given until something happens to resolve this conflict. But I’m not saying it out aloud. And even before I give him a chance to consciously analyse whether this promotion thing is a useful carrot or stick to employ, we’re changing the topic entirely. We’re distracting him from conscious analysis of what’s happening. This ‘distraction principle’ is very, very important. It allows us to use implication in all kinds of other principles to do something I call ‘seeding suggestions’ or planting ideas in people’s minds. The idea is you’ll plant an idea or seed in the ground, and before they get a chance to dig it up and throw it away – in other words, to critically analyse your ideas – you distract them. You distract them and move onto something else. That idea now begins to take root. You give it time to grow a little bit; maybe through repetition - re-implanting the same idea in different ways over time – so that, by the time it comes to you actually stating this idea out clearly or maybe giving an instruction, you have something to work with. We’re also using ‘metaphors’ here. Remember we talked about storytelling being a very powerful hypnotic process. Well, you’re beginning to deliver a little bit of that when you create the analogy of, you know, dog training. You’re using the person’s own metaphors in order to help them make movement. Finally, we’re also using ‘confusion’; partly as a distraction technique to take away from the actual ideas we’re presenting, but it’s also a very powerful way to overload the conscious thinking so that all that they can do is follow you suggestions. In this example, the confusion, is created by such things as using ‘double negatives’ (“…you shouldn’t not feel that…”), or playing on the words like ‘left’ © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 36 and ‘right’ (“…you know it’s not right that you should feel this way, until you’re left with certain thoughts or ideas inside your mind…”). This basically makes the mind work double-time to try and figure out which of the meanings of ‘right’ and ‘left’ are actually appropriate. And whilst their conscious mind is analysing the appropriate meaning for ‘right’ and ‘left’, the unconscious mind is free to respond to the suggestion. So that’s one example. Let’s look at another example in the next session. Track 11: 3m37s Conversational hypnosis in action - Example 2 In this second and final example of Conversational Hypnosis in action, your purpose is to persuade a client to buy something that would be useful for him to have. You see, sometimes people have difficulty making up their minds. Maybe there are too many facts to process. Maybe they don’t quite realise the many ways in which your product or service can actually help them. Or maybe they just have a very poor ability to make decisions and feel good about them. In this example, you can help a client make up his mind, and feel good about this afterwards, without the pressure of any hard sell. Now, I’ve specifically chosen a slightly more complex example from a different industry, to give you an idea of how you can use Conversational Hypnosis in really ANY setting. So let’s begin: “Well, thanks again for spending your time talking things through with us. You’ve given me a clear idea of what you want, but, to be sure, just allow me to check. I want to make sure that I have things right. Now you want a firm that can handle international accounts, that gives you a personal service, that’s friendly and reliable. You want people that know their job, and can understand your business. You have an unusual business for the retail trade, so it’s not enough to have accountants who are experienced in the retail trade. They really need to know your unique business and how you work. “We’ve had our team in your offices for a few weeks now. And you’ve seen the rapport, you like the rapport, because it shows that the accounts team actually understood the way that you do business. In fact, we’ve already shown you a few ways in which you can bypass a regulatory problem, and get rid of a headache that’s been dogging you for years. “So you like the team, and the work they’ve done. We understand your business, and have international experience. You were very complimentary about them, for which I have to thank you. Now, I really don’t want you to make up your mind to engage us until you are certain that this is the right choice for you. I guess you’d really have to consider what it would be like to have our team helping you out whenever you © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 37 needed us. You’d have to think about our team being there for you in the long run. You need to know how they get on with your staff, how friendly they are when answering questions, how proactively they take their job – as an example, with this regulatory suggestion, that they made during the first visit. “But more importantly, you’d have to be sure that we can back you up whenever the going gets tough. You’ve seen the team under pressure already. And I really don’t know how much they impressed you. You certainly seemed to like it at the time, but you must be sure that this is the kind of result that you’d want to have whenever you’re up against the wall. And only you can answer that. “All I know is that when you’re choosing us to handle your accounts, you should feel only the relief of knowing that you’re in great hands. So I guess the next thing to do is ask. Do you have any questions for me? Or are you happy that you have all the information you need right now to make the right choice.” Track 12: 4m50s Breakdown of example 2 So, let’s take a look at that example, and really break it down: Of course, you can see straight away that we’ve used the ‘agreement frame’ (the Yes-Set) all over again. And it’s a guiding theme throughout this work. We’re getting people to respond with a sense of agreement, so that all the other suggestions are being agreed to as well. Now one of the new things that this particular piece has is the inclusion of what we call ‘decision criteria’. In order to make a choice, to make a decision, this person has certain criteria inside their mind, certain ideas or checklists that have to be ticked off. And we’re making sure that we’re ticking off every one of those points as we go through our little speech. Now again, we’re using a lot of implication. In this example we’re talking about the kind of things that our potential new client really liked about us. But rather than talking about it directly, we just mention it casually, and allow his mind to make the connection itself. You see, every time someone makes a connection inside their own mind it seems much more their own idea. And who’s going to resist their own ideas? We’re also making use of the ‘consistency principle’. When someone says something in public, then there is a lot of social pressure inside themselves, and externally, for them to conform to that particular image. They have to be consistent with their own statements. So by reminding this person, this potential client, of some of the things they said about us, about how they liked us, the client begins to have to conform with his own opinion. So if someone likes someone, they are more likely to actually hire them. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 38 We’re also using ‘embedded suggestions’ to seed ideas, to plant ideas, about making decisions about hiring us, and about feeling good about that choice later on. And those you can hear time and time again throughout the text. One of the new principles that we’ve used this time is this idea of ‘creating future memories’. We’re creating the sense of jumping into the future and allowing the client to test having our team at his offices, and make sure this is the thing he actually wants. Now, I know by this stage that we’ve checked all the other ticks off the box. I know that this client will actually like working with us, which is why I have no qualms about moving into the future with him, and getting him to experience this for himself. If HE knows that he likes working with us now, of course, he’ll have checked off that other little missing piece in his decision-making strategy. Now to reduce pressure, we’re actually doing a ‘take-away’ on the decision. We’re saying, “…I don’t want you to make this choice until…” So by taking the pressure away, you create some space in which the mind can breathe easy and relax, and actually run through this future memory a little bit more fully. So by the time we get to actually offering them the choice, making time for the decision itself, he’s really come to his own conclusion. Before that time of course, we’re going to have him practicing feeling good about making this decision. In order for someone to make a long-term decision, they have to keep feeling good about that decision afterwards. Otherwise, all that they’ll get is what’s called ‘buyer’s remorse’. And everyone’s had buyer’s remorse. We buy something on an impulse, from a shop, we go home, we look at it and say, “Why did I do this?” Now, in a situation like this, where a firm of accountants is about to be hired, you can change your accountants. And in order to prevent that happening, we want to make sure right from the outset that the client is happy at every stage of the way. Now part of that will involve, of course, us doing good work. And that’s fine. That’s our responsibility. The other part of course is to allow the client to feel good about the decisions. And he has to practice doing that if he’s not used to it. Now at the end of the whole piece we leave him an open-ended choice, or at least a seemingly open-ended choice. The decision has been set up so carefully that really he only has one choice, and that is to choose us. And to help make that matter happen, we’re also using ‘power words’ like ‘now’, ‘instantly’, ‘immediately’. These are words which give the unconscious mind a call to action. So, this is a simple breakdown of the kind of things you’ll be learning soon. I hope you’ve enjoyed this as we come into the end of this particular CD. Track 13: 1m11s © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 39 Exercise 1 So now we’re coming to the end of this CD, and before we come to the end, I’d like to give you some exercises to begin to set you up for the next CD: Beyond Rapport and Signal Recognition Systems. Now we’ve talked about trance and hypnosis on this CD, and what it is and what it’s not, and I’d like you to start getting sensitive to when people are naturally falling into trances. So the first thing for you to do is to simply watch when people are getting very focused. Watch just any activity where other people become highly focused on the task – maybe it’s watching tv, reading a book, on the computer, on the phone, maybe on the train or tube going home and trying to ignore people around them. Maybe they’re just standing on the street, talking with each other, and ignoring the rest of the world. And I want you to ask yourself this question: “What is different about them?” So that you can see that these people are highly focused and engaged in whatever it is that they are doing. “What is different about them to everyone else that is not in that state?” Track 14: 4m43s Exercise 2 So, really get used to watching other people. Really get used to seeing the signs that tells you that they’re in a different state of mind to the people around them. This will be the beginning of your ‘Signal Recognition System’. And until you have your eyes open, your ears open, to hear and see - and maybe even feel the changes in people around you - you won’t be able to have any information that you can use for the ‘signal recognition system’ to find out when they’re in trance and when they’re not. So now just open your eyes, open your ears, be a people-watcher wherever you go. You can do this in a bar, in a club. You can do this in the office, on the way to work, on a train, on a bus. You can do it in a sidewalk as people are going to and from wherever it is that they’re going to. Just observe people and notice whatever changes occur. And ask yourself what are the specific changes that you can see when someone is highly focused in a particular task. Now, at the same time as you’re doing this, the next exercise I’d like you to do is very simple. It’s simple, but not necessarily easy. The exercise is this – © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 40 Exercise 2: I’d like you to spend time grabbing people’s attention. And when you’ve grabbed their attention, really maintain it in whatever way you can. Now, I say ‘whatever way’ because, for the moment, I’m not going to give you any clues as how to do this. I’d like you to get creative. Use the power of your own mind, your own creativity, to find as many different ways of both grabbing attention, and then maintaining that attention. Now, some of you who are a little bit more wild, will do ‘crazy’ things. And that’s fine. Not because doing crazy things, like jumping up and down in public and making loud noises is actually good for Conversational Hypnosis, but because it stretches your abilities so that if one day you need to go really outside the box, you have that. It also teaches you something about what people respond to; and surprisingly, what people will not. Because going too far outside the box might mean that you actually lose people’s attention. Now, I want to give you one clue. One simple way of grabbing someone’s attention AND maintaining it. And I’ll leave the rest for you to discover on your own. We’ll be littering through some of these ideas over the course of the 12-CDs in this audio programme. I’ll be dropping these in as seasoning, so you’d better listen out for them. Because they won’t be necessarily all in one place. The one that I’m going to give you right upfront is very simple: Eye Contact. So many people cannot maintain eye contact; either because they’re shy, or they don’t want to be ‘forward’, or whatever it happens to be. I’d like for you to experiment with the eye contact that you give someone else. Hold their eye contact and refuse to break it. Now when I say this, please don’t start doing this in a weird sort of challenging sort of way. The whole point of eye contact is to have ‘friendly, smiling eyes’. So if you have a smile, whilst you maintain that eye contact, that would be a good thing. So just experiment with those things and find out if there are any other ways, that you can discover, for grabbing attention and holding it. End of CD1 Then, on the next CD, we’ll begin the journey into hypnosis itself. On the next CD we’ll be looking at ‘Beyond Rapport’ – this idea of hypnotic rapport: how do you build a kind of relationship between you and your subject that creates a very intense emotional connection? And at the same time, gets them to want to do the things you ask of them, so that they go into trances and follow your suggestions. As well as establishing this © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 41 slightly one-up position, which allows you as the hypnotist to really make effective suggestions. At the same time we’ll also be looking at ‘Signal Recognition Systems’. You’ve already got some exercises to begin to build the groundwork for that. But we’ll really look in depth at how to stop when people are going in and out of trances, and the kind of subtle signals that you can see. The other thing we’ll be looking at is, as you spot other people’s signs of trance, you will probably want to learn to use them yourself so that other people have something to respond to. But more of that on the next CD. My name is Igor Ledochowski. Thank you for paying attention. And I look forward to seeing you on the CD entitled “Beyond Rapport and Signal Recognition Systems”. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 42 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD2 Beyond Rapport & Signal Recognition Systems Track 1: 54s Welcome Welcome to CD2 of the Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Programme. On this CD, entitled ‘Beyond Rapport & Signal Recognition Systems’, we’ll be looking at how you can create a deep connection with other people, as well as to read their signals so that it seems like you can read their mind. You can be right inside, tracking their thoughts and behaviours. We’ll be covering everything, from the basics, which some of you will be familiar with, through to more advanced exercises and more sophisticated ideas that will totally transform the way that you relate to other people forever. So, as you’re ready to begin now, just sit back, relax, and enjoy learning Conversational Hypnosis… Track 2: 5m13s What is rapport So let’s begin this programme by having a look at what rapport actually means. One way to define it is as a ‘close and harmonious relationship in which two or more people understand each other’s feelings and ideas, and can communicate well’. We’re going to use that definition as our guidelines as to how to create rapport. Now to some extent everyone knows how to build rapport; because you’ve done so with other people. You’ve built rapport with your friends, your family, and even with your working colleagues. So what is it that people traditionally do in order to build rapport? Well, the traditional view is to just be nice to someone, maybe a little complimentary, and then to find common experiences which you can share – maybe a shared interest in sports, or perhaps you went to the same university, or came from the same town. Now all these things actually do work. They actually will create a sense of rapport with most people. The trouble is that most people don’t realise why these things work, and so begin to apply them in situations when they no longer are appropriate. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 43 The basic rule of thumb behind building rapport with others is that people like people like themselves. So at some level, showing that you’re like another person, will allow the other person to feel safe or comfortable around you, and be happier to communicate and share ideas. That’s why common experiences work; because you’re saying, at some level, “look, you are I are alike. We come from the same place. We think the same thoughts. We have the same values.” That’s what really makes this thing work. So how can we take this concept, refine it, and make it more powerful? Matching & Mirroring Well, some of you will be aware of the idea of matching and mirroring. Basically, what matching and mirroring means is: when you copy someone else’s behaviour – their movements, the tilt of their body language, their signals and their hand gestures etc – at a level where they perceive it unconsciously but are not consciously aware of it, at that time you tend to build a very strong rapport or connection with the other person. Now this is something very important. Something that a lot of people get wrong. The reason that matching and mirroring works is because it is perceived outside of ordinary conscious awareness. And the reason that a lot of people who try to apply matching and mirroring get into trouble is that, when the other person becomes aware that you’re copying them, they start feeling upset or somehow feel like you’re taking the Mickey (making fun of them). It’s very, very important that if you are going to use matching and mirroring, it stay outside of someone’s perception. Let’s look at an example from an actual research study. A Study on Matching & Mirroring In this study, a whole bunch of people were given a presentation – a pitch if you like – by a virtual robot. Now this virtual robot was programmed to match their body language. What would happen is that specific things like head tilt, hand gestures, body lean, were measured as the people were watching the presentation. And then the virtual robot would mirror these things, would actually adopt the same kind of positions with respect to head tilt and hand gestures and body tilt, as the people were watching, but they were given an exactly 3-second delay to make it less obvious it was happening. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 44 Now, at the end of this they found out which of the presentations were the most persuasive. The interesting thing is that of all the people that took this study, two-thirds of the people didn’t realise that the virtual robot was matching and mirroring their behaviour. And those people tended to be persuaded by the very ideas that the robot, the virtual robot, that was presenting. Now, and this is all something that you need to be aware of, about one-third of the people found out, half-way through the presentation “oh, this robot is actually mimicking what I’m doing”, and at that point they were less persuaded than a control group. So in other words, if you’re matching and mirroring someone and they find out you’re doing this, you’re likely to break rapport and actually get the opposite reaction to what it is that you want. So later on in this programme we’ll be having a look at a technique that will allow you to match and mirror someone unconsciously, so that it’s very, very unlikely that they’ll ever find out that you’re doing it. For now just be aware that matching and mirroring is a powerful technique, but it has limitations. Which is why on the rest of this programme, on this CD, we’ll be looking at how to go beyond the traditional rapport methods. Track 3: 6m16s The 6 most common mistakes in building rapport Let’s have a look now at the 6 most common mistakes that people fall into when they try and build rapport with someone else. Rapport Mistake Number 1 The very first thing that people do wrong is they try and be nice to people. Now, I’m not suggesting that you go out there and start being nasty to people or stop being nice. It’s fine to be nice, but only to the extent that it doesn’t break down your ability to share or communicate thoughts, ideas and feelings with someone else. The trouble with being nice is that sometimes people are nice at the expense of the real communication that needs to be happening, which actually then breaks down rapport. It’s stops helping and starts becoming a barrier. Let’s give you an example of a school teacher. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 45 A school teacher who wants to be nice to the pupils may let them get away with anything they are doing, and thereby, bit by bit, she starts losing respect, stops being able to present ideas in a way that students will listen and, at the end of the day, it starts going horribly wrong. The same thing can be true of a client. Let’s say we have a lawyer talk to their client. There are some things the client needs to hear upfront which are not necessarily pleasant; which will not necessarily be nice. But if the lawyer does not have the courage to turn around and say, “Hey, this is how it is and you’d better sort something out”, then he’s doing his client a disservice, because he stops communicating fully. Now, everyone has actually experienced this when they talk to someone, and maybe you have friends yourself, that you’ve been kind of – I don’t know – casually acquainted with for many years. It’s almost like there’s a social veneer that you can’t get past. Why? Because you’re too busy being polite, too busy trying to be nice, to actually get through to the real person; and to allow the other person to see the real you as well. So, Rule Number 1 is… Be nice only to the extent that it’s not interfering with the process of communicating feelings and ideas with the other person. Rapport Mistake Number 2 Now the second mistake that people with typically make is that of trying too hard. The problem with trying too hard is very much related to being too nice to someone else. If you try to hard you sub-communicate – you send signals out – that you’re desperate; you’re desperate for the company, you’re eager to please. Now, the problem with being desperate is very few people actually like to have desperate people hanging around them. Somehow it makes them feel obligated or under pressure. But, for whatever reason, it actually begins to shut down communications again. So, if you’re trying too hard to establish rapport with someone else, the other thing that can happen is you activate what’s called The Law of Reversed Effect. The Law of Reversed Effect says ‘the harder you try to do something, the more likely it is you’ll fail’; because you’re consciously interfering with an unconscious process. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 46 So, when building rapport with someone else, the idea is to fall into this rhythm where rapport happens: to maintain a sense of, “these are the things that I need to do to make it happen”, and then get out of the way to allow your unconscious mind to make these things actually occur. Now again, later on in this CD, I’ll be showing you the ‘instant rapport technique’ that will help you to do this much more easily. Rapport Mistake Number 3 Another reason why trying too hard tends to put people off is related to the third common mistake that people make when trying to build rapport. And that’s wanting something from someone else too much. The problem of wanting something too much is seen easily when you think back to a time when you walked into a store and you wanted to buy maybe a stereo or something. The salesman comes up and starts talking to you, but the thing is they get a little bit too pushy. They want you to buy too much. They want you to like them too much. And because they want something from you; because they’re pushing you too far down the process too quickly, you begin to back off. Now, the solution to this is something called ‘fractionating rapport’. In fractionating rapport, what you’re going to do is you’re going to build a little rapport and then back off. Then you’ll build a little bit more rapport, and back off, a little bit more, back off, a little bit more, and back off. The Law of Fractionation is something that we’ll look at a little more when we cover hypnotic principles. But basically, every time that you do something it’s the equivalent of dipping your toe in a bucket of cold water. At first just the big toe goes in, then you might have all the toes, then you pull it back out again. Then you’ll put the foot in; you’ll pull it back out again. And every time that you come back to this experience, it’s easier and easier to go deeper and deeper, because it seems familiar to you. So fractionating rapport is a technique where you build a little rapport, and you take it away again, so that the people are constantly in a comfort zone. And that comfort zone’s always being stretched a little bit at a time. So, to sum up the first 3 most common mistakes that people make – and they’re all interrelated – it’s first of all ‘Trying to be too nice’, second of all ‘Trying too hard to establish rapport’, and third of all ‘Wanting something too much from someone else’ (becoming a little bit too pushy to either build rapport or get a certain result). The solution to these 3 problems is very simple. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 47 First of all, realise there’s a time to stop being nice in order to save the rapport, to save the relationship. Number two is to use the ‘instant rapport technique’ that we’ll be covering a little later on, in order to allow the normal rapport signals to flow unconsciously and naturally. And finally, it’s to use the principle of ‘fractionation’ to build a little rapport, and then back off, and then a little bit more, and then back off, consistently so that over a small period of time you build a lot of large steps. Track 4: 8m38s The 6 most common mistakes in building rapport – continued… So let’s look at what other mistakes people will typically make when trying to build rapport with others: Rapport Mistake Number 4 The 4th most common mistake is a lack of genuine interest. The thing about ‘interest’ is that, when you feel an interest inside and your focus is actually on the ideas that someone else is presenting, your whole body language changes. You begin to sub-communicate, at a very subtle level, signals of interest; your pupil dilation will change, your level of focus will be changed, your movements will be different. And these are things that other people will read very carefully at the unconscious level and be influenced by. So if your own signals, which are going out, are saying “I’m bored, I’m disinterested, I don’t want to know any more”, well the other people will respond to those signals by shutting down, or getting annoyed, or just losing interest in the conversation themselves. So there are two simple solutions to this problem. The first solution is what a great therapist, called Carl Rogers, called ‘having a high unconditional regard for the other person’. Now, no matter what you think of that person normally, whilst you’re building rapport with that person you must, inside your mind, convince yourself completely and 100% that whatever the other person is saying is worthy of respect. Now I happen to think that that’s a good way to view people anyway. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 48 But to have a high unconditional regard for someone else will help them to open up, because suddenly all the signals coming from you are saying, “Whatever you say, you will not be criticised, you will not be attacked”, which makes them feel safe enough to begin to share the feelings and ideas that actually characterise rapport in the first place. Another, and slightly more obvious way of doing this is what’s called to ‘track back’. Track Back is similar but different to ‘active listening’. In active listening you’re told, “When you listen to what someone says, then repeat what they’ve said to you in different words so that they know that you’ve heard them”. Now there’s a big problem with active listening; and it’s that language has a neurological effect on people. There’s a difference between someone saying, “The baby was in my arms”, to someone saying, “I was holding the infant”. Whilst the information may be the same, the actual emotional tone is very different. It actually fires different parts of the neurology, and is understood differently on an emotional level. So, if someone says, “Well, I was holding my baby in my arms”, and then you reply [in very formal voice] “Well, so you were holding the infant”, the problem is at that point the person feels that you’ve somehow misunderstood (because you’ve missed the emotional undertones of the conversation). The solution is to ‘track back’ – to actually use the same words and the same tonalities that someone else has been using. Well, let’s give you an example. If I say to you, “Well, I was walking down to the shops and, you know, a person just jumped out at me and scared me”… A Track Back might track that same information and say, “Oh, so you were walking down to the shops, and then suddenly someone jumped out and they scared you.” Notice that I’m using the exact same language and reflecting it back on to them. This goes back to the idea of ‘matching and mirroring’ someone, but I’m doing it in a conversational style so that it fits the context of what I’m doing. Another way that you can actually employ a ‘track back’ frame is to say something like, “Oh, let me just make sure I’ve got this right. You want to do this.” And then you repeat the exact same words back to them. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 49 Rapport Mistake Number 5 The fifth most common mistake is playing the wrong role inside of a relationship. Now, when two people relate to each other, their relative status will always be fluctuating. To some extent, someone will be a higher status, someone a lower status, and sometimes they’ll be of equal status. Now, when I talk about status, this is not a value judgement. Someone who’s higher status does not necessarily mean that they are better people. It’s a role that’s being played. For example, a teacher and a student: the teacher needs to have the higher status in order to be able to teach the student. The problem is that some people are inflexible, and they can only really relate to someone who is in a particular status. So some people are maybe so frightened that someone will look down on them that they can only ever be in a high status role. So if you try and take your high status role from them, they’ll start distrusting you or disliking you for it. So, to be flexible in your communication, sometimes you’ll play the underdog, sometimes you’ll play the equal, and sometimes you’ll play the charismatic or authority figure that leads the way forward. Now, the trick is to help someone create more flexibility by perhaps starting at the level that they require, and then slowly changing it so that they need to adapt to you. But remember, the ‘pacing and leading’ principle means you move only as quickly as the other person can keep track of what you’re doing, and actually follow along. Rapport Mistake Number 6 Now, the final mistake is something that very few people actually ever realise. This is the difference between what I call ‘deep rapport’ and ‘wide rapport’. Deep rapport is what everyone tries to establish. They try and drill down to the depth of a shared experience. Let’s say that you and the person that you’re talking to both like motorbikes. And you spend hours and hours and hours talking about motorbikes and motorbike conventions. Now you would think that that was a good thing; that that now you would have a good relationship going. Well actually, believe it or not, you’ve actually just shot yourself in the foot. Let’s take an example. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 50 Let’s imagine that you had a great teacher at school – someone that you really got on well with. And you loved going to this person’s lessons. Now one day you’re in the supermarket, shopping with your mother, or perhaps you’re out with your friends, when this teacher – let’s call him Mr. Smith – comes along and starts talking to you, but outside of a school environment. Maybe he’s at a party and you’re at the same party. How do you feel? Well, if you’re like most people, you’ll feel a little bit awkward talking to this teacher, maybe in the supermarket or at a party. Why? Because the rapport you have is contextualised; it only fits in one specific place. So, when you see the out of context, it somehow feels wrong, or unusual. This is a mistake that people make time and time again: The boss at work, the person working with clients. The solution to this mistake is to create what I call Wide Rapport. In wide rapport, you actually give them many different experiences of you, in many different environments. The way to create wide rapport is essentially one of two things. Either you meet them in lots of different locations, so that every location creates a new set of memories of you two interacting together. And that creates a wider set of contexts in which it’s okay for you guys to interact. Another way to create wide rapport is through your use of storytelling. The more stories that you tell about different types of topics/themes/ideas, the more they get a sense of your entire personality and actually build rapport with that. So you don’t get limited to just one track. You have all these different tracks. And after a while, when you’ve opened enough topics, the other person will spontaneously assume that they can talk to you about anything. When we get to the storytelling, or hypnotic storytelling part of this course, we’ll give you plenty of exercises and loads of ideas of how to actually tell different kinds of stories that will allow people to build rapport in different ways. Hypnotic storytelling goes much further than just the ability to build rapport, but it’s very, very important within this context as well. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 51 So, now that you’re aware of the most common mistakes, and have some simple solutions, you can actually begin to refine your abilities to start building rapport with more people and more elegantly as well. Track 5: 3m23s Hypnotic rapport At this point, I want to address a very important hypnotic idea. This is going to take your rapport skills beyond the normal range. It’s what I call ‘Hypnotic Rapport’. Now, in some respects, hypnotic rapport has been around as long as human beings have, because there’s a side-effect of trance. No one fully understands what it is yet, but we know that it happens, and we know that it’s incredibly powerful. Basically, whenever someone goes into a trance around you, when they come back they’ll bring with them a deeper state of connection with you and your own unconscious mind. There’s a deepened sense of trust, and a real sense of comfort in your company. And this is a very, very powerful side-effect of someone simply helping someone else to go into a trance and come back again. It’s a very healthy thing in my opinion. Now, one of the things that occurs there, is that you get an unconscious connection. What happens when two people connect unconsciously is that they begin to explore thoughts and ideas that they didn’t even know they had, until that moment in time. I remember when I was a small boy, I used to be very shy. And my parents used to keep throwing these dinner parties which, as children, we’d be expected to come along and, you know, make conversation with the guests. Now, I found something very unusual would happen at these dinner parties. Some guests, I’d talk to and I would be totally charismatic; I’d have fantastic new ideas and it’s almost like I was a genius at the dinner table. Now with other guests, typically the more shy or awkward ones themselves, the more reserved ones, I felt awkward even saying ‘hello’. I would always get stuck with the same old questions like, you know, “Hi, where are you from? What do you do? What’s you name?” And even those questions themselves seemed somehow dull and lifeless and somehow the conversation kept dying. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 52 For years I thought, “What’s wrong with me?” – that I would be this splitpersonality – charismatic and highly intelligent at one time, and almost stupid and inept at other times. Until one day I realised: It has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with the other people. You see, the people I felt comfortable around – the ones where I began to come out of my own shell – were people who were so comfortable in their own skin, they projected a sense of well-being, a sense of comfort, a sense of trust, that I began to feel comfortable inside myself, and started trusting the ideas and thoughts that are always inside me and began to communicate those. The people I would shut down with would do the exact reverse. The things that they sub-communicated, on an unconscious level, would make me feel so awkward and inhibited and nervous, that all my ideas would just be cut off before they even began properly. And this got me to thinking, “How can we use this as a way of really generating this kind of hypnotic rapport much more quickly?” How to create this instant rapport with a complete stranger so that they feel like they’ve known you for years, and they trust you, and they feel comfortable around you. Track 6: 29s Hypnotic Warning On the next track you’re about to experience a mild hypnotic process, which means you’re required to use all of your focus and attention. So if you’re driving a car or operating any kind of machinery, stop whatever you’re doing before you move onto the next track, so that you can pay full attention and safely listen to the recording. So as soon as you’re ready to do that now, just sit back, relax, and enjoy the following hypnotic process. Track 7: 7m05s An experience of hypnotic rapport So one day I decided to experiment with this idea. This is after some time of acquiring all kinds of different skills both in hypnosis and just in relating to people in general. And I remember I was out one night in a bar, with a friend of mine called Brian. So Brian and I were standing there in the bar having a chat as © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 53 usual, and from time to time I would strike up a conversation with a stranger and it would go really well. And Brian would turn to me and say, “Hey, how do you do that? How can you suddenly sort of make friends amongst people who don’t even know you yet?” And it got me thinking, and I wanted to experiment with something. So I said to Brian, “Listen Brian, there are times that you meet someone, or have friends in fact, that you’re really close to. Now when you think about a friend or a person who you’re really close to – it could be a parent, a friend, or a loved one – there’s a certain feeling you have inside, isn’t there?” And Brian of course nodded and said, “Of course there is.” I said, “Look, if you were to just point at a place inside your body where you just feel that most intensely, where would that be?” And Brian pointed at his chest. So I said to Brian: “I want you to focus on that point in your chest. I want you to focus on the feelings that being in deep rapport with someone else has. And as you begin to focus on that sensation, you’ll notice there’s maybe like a colour or sensation attached to it.” He said for him it was a sense of a comfortable royal blue. I said, “Brian, take this ‘royal blue feeling’ and begin to spread it around your body. The more you pay attention to it, the deeper it becomes. Now begin to spread it across your chest and down into your belly, giving you a real sense of comfort, a real ease inside yourself. And the more you pay attention to that ‘royal blue feeling, the more it spreads around the rest of your body, into your arms, into your legs, even into your head. So you begin to think comfortable thoughts, royal blue thoughts.” And as Brian began think about all these things, experiencing the sensation of that royal blue comfort spreading throughout his body, I asked him to notice how as it really becomes stronger and stronger, it begins to almost seep out of his very skin. So it’s almost a comfortable royal blue ‘aura’ that surrounds him. It’s like an energy field surrounding him like a warm blanket of comfort, a royal blue blanket. And as Brian was standing there, thinking about these things, and experiencing that, I asked him to turn around and just spot someone in the bar; someone he didn’t know. And then begin to feel these feelings, and explore that royal blue sensation, until it began to move forward in his mind. Growing and growing and growing all the time. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 54 The more it grew, the more it could begin to reach out towards that other person, as though a giant hand was reaching out from inside him, just to touch the outside texture of that person’s clothing. So that, as he looked at the other person, he could almost feel what it would feel like to touch the texture of his shirt with his own hand. And as he did that, to allow that royal blue sensation, and those colours and feelings to mingle in with the other person, and really go inside that. Suddenly Brian stood there, and he was smiling and feeling comfortable, and expanding that sense of awareness into the other person. I noticed something really interesting happening. Brian’s breathing began to synchronise with the breathing of this other person; and this other person still had their back turned to Brian. And at some point, as Brian was doing these things - synchronising his breathing at the same rate as this other person – he casually turned around in the bar, as he was talking to his own friends. And out of the corner of his eye he spotted Brian. And Brian just smiled and thought whatever thoughts he was thinking. And this other person seemed almost compelled to come over and start talking to us. He started asking Brian all kinds of questions of where he was from. In fact, he was so convinced that he and Brian had met some time in the past, he wouldn’t believe when Brian told him that he was sure that they never knew each other before. At that time, Brian learnt a very valuable lesson. And that is the lesson of being able to project the sense of rapport, and comfort and trust in other people, to the point that they pick up on it and reciprocate the exact same thing back to you. And as you think about it now, there have been times in the past when you’ve instantly connected with another human being. And in those times, you know that you had exactly the same experience, of taking a sensation inside you body, and it almost seemed to reach out and move into the other person’s experience. So you began to think nothing but beneficial thoughts: A high positive regard for the other person. And you began to smile, and as you felt comfortable and trusting of the other person, they instantly reciprocated. Feeling the same sensations towards you, which allowed the relationship to happen all at once. And how you did that was something that was outside of your awareness before. Now you can do it on purpose. Because your unconscious mind can build comfortable relationships with almost anyone on the face of this earth. And all you have to do is give it the right set of instructions. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 55 Later on, in this CD, when we cover the ‘instant rapport’ technique that you’ve just experienced, you’ll have the very steps that Brian did, so that you can build an instant rapport with almost anyone that you want to. Now the really interesting thing is, as Brian and this stranger started talking to each other – like they knew each other for years – I noticed the strangest thing. Not only was their breathing really synchronising, but also Brian and this other person began to move in the same rhythms. There body postures began to match and mirror each other automatically. You see, this is a function of rapport. The more it happens, the deeper it becomes, automatically. Now you can look forward to having the same kind of experiences in the kind of relationships that you form. And as soon as you’ve realised that for yourself, you can come back to a normal state of awareness and really appreciate the power of your own unconscious mind. Track 8: 4m42s Rapport hooks Now another advanced strategy for building rapport is what I call ‘creating rapport hooks’. What you want to do is to get people to actually try and build rapport with you. And the harder they have to work to build rapport with you, the more that rapport will be worth to them, and the more they’ll continue to work to maintain it later on. Now, how do you get people to work for rapport? ‘Rapport hooks’ have been designed to get people to ask more questions, to come back to you over and over again, in order for you to fill in the gaps. Let’s imagine, for example, I was telling you a story and I say something like, “So, I arrived at Heathrow airport and as soon as the guy saw my passport he said, ‘Mr. Ledochowski will you please come with me? We’ve been waiting for you. ‘ So they take me off to a room and, to cut a long story short, I managed to get out there in the end, and I’d missed my appointment. So I go straight back to the hotel and think about what I’m going to do next.” Now if you think about it, I’ve given you pieces of information there that really aren’t complete. There should be questions in your mind right now, like why were they waiting for me? What did they do to me when they took me aside to a special room? What meeting did I miss? And what did I do about it? Now all of that information was packaged almost casually. The biggest mistake people do in trying to get people interested is they shove information down people’s throat. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 56 The classic example is the slightly insecure rich person telling everyone how great his Porsche is. A more subtle way of actually getting that information across, and having someone earn the right to ask about it, would be to say: “Well, so, I was there at a party and I offered to give some people a lift, but sadly I only have one spare seat in my car. It’s only a two-seater. So I really couldn’t give everyone a lift.” Then, when people ask what car he has, he can actually present the information as though it wasn’t even his idea. It’s a much more elegant way of actually giving information, and more importantly, because people have earned the right to have it, it seems that much more important and that much more real. Using ‘rapport hooks’ can also help you to fractionate rapport. Remember in fractionation we are adding a little bit of rapport, then taking it away, adding a little bit of rapport, and then taking it away. So how does that actually translate into actual behaviour? Well, to a certain extent you can pay attention to someone – be interested, be focused on them – and then maybe get casually distracted, look around the room, maybe see someone else, AND observe whether they try to re-engage you (in other words, trying to strike up the conversation again). If they do, you have already the foundations of rapport. And more importantly they are working for it. So when you focus on them completely, they will go deeper into that state of comfort and trust than they were before. ‘Rapport hooks’ are wonderful devices for this. Because, rather than sitting there wondering about, “What do I say next? How can I get his interest back?”, all they have to do is ask you a question about something you’ve already mentioned. So for example, if I say to someone – as an example – you might tell people, “You know, I’ve just come back from America, and I found that wonderful thing – a little device – that literally allows you to almost read someone else’s thoughts. It’s a crazy idea, but the first time someone used this with me I thought ‘These people have to be kidding. How do they do this?’ But then they showed me the device itself and how it works, and I suddenly went ‘Wow. Think of all of the possibilities that I could use this in.’” Now, let’s stop there of a moment. If I use this as a rapport hook, the one big theme that’s already open is the fact that I’ve been to America. Now, someone might ask whereabouts have I been. If I mention something about New York, they might say, “Oh how did you like New York?” So the point is I’m feeding little bits of information, without completing it, to allow people to then come back to me with questions. And those questions will allow me to develop rapport now that they’ve earned the right to have it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 57 And because they’ve earned the right, rather than just being given it, it seems much more valuable and they will actually go further with it. Remember that you want to fractionate this, so that you’re constantly pushing and pulling – putting your attention on them and pulling back a little bit – just to see what happens. The more you do this, the deeper the relationship will develop. It’s actually a very, very quick way to get to levels of comfort and trust with someone, that in normal circumstances would otherwise be considered far too quick. Track 9: 4m12s Signal recognition systems Now that you have some insights on how to take your rapport skills beyond the normal levels, let’s have a look as the ‘Signal Recognition Systems’. Now it’s very important that you learn to see the world as it is, not as you want it to be. A lot of people go through the world and all they see is a thing they expect to be there, the things that they want to be there. It’s very important that you first of all realise what is actually out there, and secondly, learn to recognise the signals that you’re being successful with whatever you’re doing. You see, Milton Erickson (the psychiatrist that employed hypnosis a long time before he was officially allowed to) had such a wonderful sense of recognising other people’s signals. He could literally tell if a woman had had an affair by the way she walked into his office and sat down in the chair. One lady walked in, sat down in the chair, and said to him, “Well, I have a problem and I’ve seen hundreds of psychiatrists, and to be honest with you, I don’t know why I’m here. Because I don’t think you can help me either. You won’t even know what the problem is, like all the others.” Erickson took a look at her and said, “Madam, I think I know exactly what you’ve come here for. In a moment I’m going to tell you something that I think is going to shock and surprise you. Now once I’ve told you this, you’ll realise that I am the right therapist to be working with you.” Then he leaned forward, and he said, “Madam, how long have you been a woman for?” Now, what was happening there is that the who lady walked in, it turns out, actually was not a woman, but was actually a man. Erickson had done something very, very clever. He had recognised a certain signal that gave away that this was not a natural woman. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 58 You see, when a woman develops and first starts growing breasts, she begins to learn how to move her hand around the breasts automatically, so that it doesn’t keep bumping into them. This man, who had had every other mannerism of a woman down - so that he looked, acted, and sounded just like a real woman – had actually brushed past his own breasts on the way to picking some lint off his shoulder, in such a way that Erickson instantly knew that this was not someone that was used to manoeuvring around his own chest. And that told him all he needed to know. Think about it: Such a small signal would give him so much information. In a similar event, he was walking through a hospital that he was working in one day, when a colleague of his – a female doctor – walked past him. And just as she comes up to him, Erickson turns around and says, “Congratulations on your new pregnancy.” The woman went into shock and said, “Doctor Erickson, how did you know I was pregnant? In fact, I myself am only just coming back from my doctor now, who told me the news this morning.” You see, what Erickson had done there is, he realised again that when a woman becomes pregnant there are certain changes that occur in her body. There are ‘micro’ changes in the way that her pelvis is structured, and even her hairline will move up by a fraction or two. And Erickson had such acute visual recognition, that he noticed that this person had changed, from the last time he saw her, in that tiny amount. But it was enough to tell him that she was pregnant. So now we’re going to focus our attention on creating that kind of exquisite ‘signal recognitions systems’ in you. So that you can see when people are going into a trance, and you can see when people are responding to you in the way you want them to. Now a lot of things that we’ll be covering will be based around exercises. So I’m going to save a lot of these things for the exercise section later. But we’ll talk about a few principles first, and then we’ll run through all of the exercises – both for rapport and for learning to recognise the signals that people are actually responding to you hypnotically. Track 10: 4m02s Heightened awareness Now as I was growing up, I was into martial arts as many young boys are. And I remember a lot of the old stories about the ancient masters, who had such acute awareness that they could seemingly be asleep, but even then they knew exactly © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 59 when a thief was coming into their house. Or they almost knew how someone was going to attack them before they knew it themselves. Now for a long time, I thought that this was just an interesting story, told to people to encourage them to train better and harder. Until one day I came across an interesting tradition on the islands of Hawaii. The Hawaiian Kahunas were keepers of the law of their particular traditions. They were, if you like, Shamen that had some very special powers. And one of the things that they could do is they could enter this state of awareness in which they could see everything, hear everything, and be so perceptive that they not only could tell minute differences in people, they also noticed when their environment was changing. So they knew when it would be a good time to fish, or a good time to hunt. Now everyone thought that these powers were magical. But really they had developed their powers of awareness to such an extreme level, they just were very, very aware, and very, very connected, to the world around them. Now, this seems like a bit of an amazing state to be in, and perhaps a lost art, but I actually believe that everyone is capable of this. You see, one day I was a teenager and I was sent off to a holiday camp by my parents. This holiday camp was in France and it was centred around boys doing all kinds of water sports; canoeing, kayaking, even sailing. Now one day we had gone through, as a whole troop of 30 or 40 boys, we had been swimming down this channel – this little river – in our kayaks, and we’d stopped off at a little island to take a break and have a big picnic. Now whilst everyone else was having their picnic, one of the instructors walks around and starts picking out a few of the boys to come with him. Now these were the more adventurous of the boys. And so, a handful of maybe 5 or 6 or maybe even 7 boys, we all followed this guy up behind a little trail, up over the top of a small cliff, and then we stood on an empty rock platform. At this point something really interesting happened. The guide – or the leader – turned around to us and said, “Okay boys. We’re going to do something which is a little bit unusual. But before we do this, I have a question for you. ‘Do you trust me?’” Now I don’t know about you, but the moment someone asks me if I trust them, I’m already beginning to think that something’s going on. So we’re all starting to get a little bit nervous here, but of course, under the pressure of the situation everyone says “Yes, of course we trust you.” So he turns round to us and says, “Okay. Put your life-vests and helmets on.” And as soon as we’d done that he said, “In a moment we’re going to line you all up, one by one. And what I want you to do is run down the side of this rock face © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 60 as fast as you can, and when you get to the ledge, to the ledge of the cliff, I want you to jump as far and as hard as you can. And whatever you do, do not look down. Just run as fast as you can. And then jump as far as you can. And whatever you do, do not look down.” Now at this stage, all of us were kind of a little bit nervous, okay. Everyone was looking at each other and no-one really wanted to be the first. So one of the other boys, one of the more courageous ones, decided to volunteer. He stoop up in front, and with everyone cheering him on, he runs as fast as his teenage legs can take him, he gets to the edge, he jumps, and just as he’s jumping and he’s hanging mid-air, he looks down and he goes, “Oh my god!” And then he disappears, screaming and yelling all the way down. At this point, everyone else becomes twice as nervous. Track 11: 2m38s Heightened awareness – continued… So the first person’s disappeared. The rest of us are hanging back, and we’re terrified. Nobody wants to be the next person. We all look at each other, and suddenly one of the boys volunteers to go second. He runs as fast as he can, he jumps –we’re all cheering like crazy – and then he disappears off the cliff as well; shouting a screaming all the way down. The third boy goes, the fourth; by the fourth boy’s jumping, I’m beginning to think to myself, “Well, if I don’t go right now, I never will. Because I’m beginning to think too much about this. I need to just do it.” So I line up next. I have my helmet on, I have my life-vest on, and I’m ready to go. All the boys are cheering, the instructor is there giving me instructions and just sort of cheering me on, and I run as fast as I can run. And I’m running, I get to the edge, and I jump as far and as hard as I can jump. And there comes a point, just as I’m leaping though mid-air – before gravity catches up with me – where everything just becomes still. Everything becomes totally calm. It’s like time has just totally stopped, between one second and the next. And I remember very clearly just looking around and seeing everything at the same time. I could see the boys screaming on one side, on the other side of the river on the other side. I could see straight down, what felt like miles below me, the river streaming by and a few heads bobbing in the water where the other boys were still swimming back to shore. And this whole moment seemed to last out forever. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 61 Now, that state of complete clarity, of being totally in the moment, totally aware, seeing everything around you, hearing everything around you, being in connection with the world around you; is a very important state to be in. It is a kind of altered state. But it’s one of heightened awareness, and it’s something that you’re about to practice, so that you can read people’s signals more accurately, and you have a greater connection to both the outside world and your own intuitions. Hypnotic Warning Now, the exercise you’re about to do has hypnotic elements in it. It requires all of your focus and attention. And so, if you’re driving a car or operating any kinds of machinery, just stop whatever you are doing and only play the next track as soon as you are ready to focus all of your attention safely on the process of learning this heightened state of awareness. Track 12: 6m05s Heightened awareness exercise So, as you’re ready to learn this heightened state of awareness now, just sit somewhere comfortably. Or better still, stand up. And I’d like you to just focus all of your attention on a point, somewhere above eye level. Maybe where the ceiling and the wall meet. Or a corner of the room. And I want you to find a specific point that you can focus ALL of your attention on. So you’re beginning to feel all your focus narrowing down, like a tunnel vision, on this one specific point. Focus every ounce of your concentration now. Try and make out every little bit of detail that you can get a hold of. Now you’ll realise as you’re doing this, that it actually takes a lot of strain and effort to do this. So when you’re ready, just allow your eyes to relax. Keep looking at that point. But your eyes will begin to soften, and as they relax the muscles in the eyes, you’ll notice that your vision tends to expand. You can see more of the room, that you’re in: Maybe the ceiling, the walls, the corners of the room, the colour of the carpet or whatever the floor is made of. And as you continue to relax with your eyes open, you’ll notice that your vision tends to expand, all the way around you. Allow it to expand, so that you can almost get a sense of knowing what it would be like to see through the eyes in the back of your head. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 62 And as you continue to do this, allow your breathing to change. You’ll notice, at some point, your breathing just relaxes even more, whilst your vision expands and you’re totally aware of the outside world. As soon as your breathing becomes automatic and calm and relaxed, you can bring your eyes down to normal eye-level only as slowly as you maintain this heightened state of awareness; seeing everything around you. Now as you’re doing this, I’d like you to go ahead and pay attention to your ears. Now, your ears are like a sonar device. And I’d like you to pay attention to all the little sounds that you can hear. First will be the sound of my voice. Perhaps you can hear some background noises in the house, or outside, in the streets, or in the garden outside where you are. Begin to expand your hearing, so that the more you hear, the more you become aware of your own sight and vision. Vision and hearing blending together. That’s right. And now, turn your attention towards your feelings. Imagine, if you would, a giant ball of energy inside of you. Beginning to glow and grow all around you. Beginning to expand, so that it begins to actually fill the room around you. And wherever this ball of energy seems to touch, I’d like you to get a sense of what it would feel like to touch that surface with your own hand. So that your feelings are reaching out, and touching the furniture, the things lying around in the room. All the way out to the walls. So you get a sense of distinctions between the things in the room, becoming a part of it all together. Now allow all of your attention to focus on the three senses at the same time. So you see everything around you. And as you see it, you get a sense of what it would feel like to touch it. And at the same time, you’re hearing the sounds. And all these sensations blending into one. You’re totally connected to everything around you. If there are people in the room, you can be connected to them also. A sense of total awareness, calm awareness, relaxed awareness. Maintain your focus on the outside, whilst maintaining a complete comfort © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 63 and calmness on the inside… You will have noticed that your thinking has slowed down. In time, the thoughts inside your mind will stop all together. For now, just enjoy this state. And know that you can come back to this at any time that you wish to. This state is also a state of heightened awareness for learning. So were you to choose to enter this accelerated learning state, in order to listen to the rest of these audio CDs, then you would probably find yourself learning more quickly, and understanding things more clearly. And you can do that any time you wish now. Track 13: 10m15s Trance signals Welcome back again! Now that you’ve learned to enter the accelerated learning state – this heightened state of awareness – I’d like you to use it in order to be able to spot the signals that people are responding to you hypnotically. Now, if you’ve done your homework, and done the exercises on the first CD, you’ll have noticed that, when people are highly focused and beginning to enter trance-like states, that somehow things change about their physiology. Their breathing changes, their look changes. There are different changes that occur that tell you this person is entering an altered state of mind. Now, I’d like to give you a list now of some of the signs you should look out for, that tell you that someone is entering trance. Some of these things you should have found out already by pure observation. Some of these things, you may not have been aware of, and now that I make you aware of them, you can go back out again and compare that to the things you see in the real world. And I think you’ll find that they exist whenever trance does. Now it’s important that you realise that this ‘Signal Recognition System’ is not about seeing a specific sign – for example, someone blinks faster and that means they’re in trance. What it means is, you’re looking for specific changes from the norm. So the signs I’m about to show you are not so much signs all by themselves. They are signs only to the extent that these things occur, and are different from, the way they were when you first started the conversation. So you’re looking for changes in behaviour, in physiology; not necessarily a specific thing to be happening. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 64 Trance Signal 1 Now, the first thing you can look out for is pupil dilation. If you look at people’s pupils, the black centre of their eyes, as they go into a trance and begin to relax and feel more comfortable around you, you’ll notice a tendency for the pupils to dilate, become larger. Now, of course, this will change according to the environment. So if it’s a bright sunny day you’ll get less pupil dilation than in a quiet, intimate atmosphere. It’s just the nature of the way light reacts with the eyes. Trance Signal 2 Another thing you can look out for is slowing down of the pulse. Now before you ask yourself, “How am I supposed to find out the pulse without touching their wrist and even finding it?” Well there are certain points on the body where the blood vessels actually come very close to the skin. And you can actually see the pulse ticking away. One such place is the side of the neck. With a lot of people, and not necessarily everyone and not necessarily all of the time, but with a lot of people, if you watch the side of their neck, you can actually watch the pulse ticking regularly. Which means you can see the pulse speeding up, and slowing down. Now, whilst the pulse is usually slower in trance, sometimes the fact that it’s speeding up can also be a suggestion that they’re going into a hypnotic state. And the reason for this has to do with: ‘What are you communicating?’ If you are communicating things to do with excitement, or danger, well then it’s appropriate for the pulse to speed up, because they are responding to your communication. And I hope you understand what I mean by that. Another place that you can see a pulse is on the ankle. A lot of times there’s a vein that crosses the ankle bone itself, particularly easy to spot in ladies who are wearing skirts. Of course, with every person that you meet, you may find other areas where the pulse is just naturally more obvious. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 65 Trance Signal 3 Another ‘giveaway’ sign is a change in the pattern of breathing. Again, typically this will be a slower pattern of breathing. But sometimes, even when they’re relaxing, their breathing will speed up. So when you’re looking for the change of breathing, what you’re really being aware of is: ‘Are they breathing at a different rate to the way they normally breathe?’ If they are, they’re in an altered state, because breathing is directly linked to people’s state of mind. Now, before you go off and stare directly at people’s chests, especially if you’re looking at a woman’s chest, that kind of thing is going to get you into trouble. So, to be able to spot someone’s breathing without having to be obvious about it, again use your peripheral vision. Use your expanded sense of awareness, and look out of the corner of your eye. Now the eye can see the rising and fall of the chest out of the corner of your eye. Other places you can look is the rising and falling of people’s shoulders; because as they breathe in, and their rib cage lifts, their shoulders will have a tendency to lift as well. Trance Signal 4 Another sign that people are entering into trance is that their facial features begin to smooth out, as the muscles underlying the face itself begin to relax. As a rule, people’s faces will tend to become more symmetrical as well. If you look at a person’s face straight-on, you’ll notice that a lot of times there’s a sort of dissymmetry; the left side and the right side of the face will very rarely match on people. But as they tend to go into trance, there tends to be a smoothing out as the face becomes more balanced. Trance Signal 5 Something you will have spotted already, if you’ve done the exercise, is that people’s attention is absorbed. That means you can see things like their eyes are fixed on one point in space, maybe their eyes begin to glaze over slightly – there tends to be no movement in the eyes. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 66 These are all good signs that the other person’s attention has been fixated, which means they are beginning to go into a trance. Trance Signal 6 Another subtle sign is a change in people’s blink reflex. Now, what kind of changes are we looking for? Both faster blinking and slower blinking is a good sign. In fact sometimes people stop blinking altogether. Don’t let that disturb you. It’s just a sign that their eyelids have become what’s called ‘cataleptic’. In other words, the muscles in the eyes have frozen for a moment in time. It’s one of the signs that people are accessing a trance response. Trance Signal 7 Another example of a trance feature to look out for is a change in the swallowing mechanism. Typically, when someone first goes into a trance, they’ll begin to swallow more frequently. And then, after a few minutes, their swallow reflex will slow down, sometimes stopping altogether. A classic ‘giveaway’, although one which will be less useful for you in Conversational Hypnosis, is that their eyelids will begin to get heavy or fatigued, and close all the way down. Now, that’s fine if you’re going for a formal induction, but I think you’ll find that in most conversations, because people feel somehow embarrassed to close their eyes and fall asleep in front of other people, that their eyes will remain open even though they might find themselves getting a bit tired. Trance Signal 8 Other signs of trance happening are immobility of movement. When people stop moving, there’s a tendency they’ll be in trance. So, if you meet someone who at first has a lot of hand gestures and mannerisms and head movements etc, and gradually those movements slow down, and then stop altogether, that is a sign that they’ve entered an altered state of mind – and are responding to you hypnotically. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 67 Trance Signal 9 On a slightly similar lane, you can also have involuntary muscle twitches. Sometimes when someone goes into a trance, you’ll find like a facial tick beginning, or maybe their shoulder begins to twitch. These are all signs that they’re relaxing, and their muscles are going through a sort of cathartic process. Trance Signal 10 Other more subtle signs are changes in skin colour, or skin tone itself. As people go into trance and relax more, the blood tends to flow more freely, so they will typically look a little darker, a little bit more colour in their hands and face. Sometimes the opposite will occur. Sometimes they’ll become a little paler, as the blood withdraws from those areas. Either way is fine. It’s just a physiological response, telling you that they’re going in to a trance. Trance Signal 11 As a rule, people’s voices will also change as they go into trance. Their voice will typically be slower. Their speech will be a little different in tonality. Sometimes people will stop speaking altogether. And this relates to the final example of a trance response. Trance Signal 12 This is what I call an increase in passive responses. As a rule, as people go into a trance, they become less argumentative, more agreeable, and really more passive, more willing to follow your lead. Now, as you review this list of items, you’ll find that there are many more signals that you can find yourself. But this is really the core of your ‘Signal Recognition Systems’. In a moment we’ll come onto the exercises for today. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 68 And one of the things you really must pay attention to, is to go out there and spot as many of these signals – that people are going into a trance, and are responding to you – as you can. Because one thing will surprise you: It is that people are going into trances all the time. So the more get to spot it, the less work you have to do, because then, in time, you’ll learn how to hijack or borrow people’s own trances to make your job much easier. Track 14: 1m50s Exercise 1 So let’s have a look at some exercises that you can do, between now and the next CD, in order to take your rapport skills beyond the normal level, and in order to build this ‘Signal Recognition System’ so that you’re more aware of what’s going on around you. The first exercise I’m going to have you do is very simple, and something you should already be familiar with. It’s basically re-covering the foundations of basic rapport, because they are very important. The foundations of basic rapport are 4 things: 1. Whenever you meet someone, smile. A smile has a tremendous impact on other people. 2. Make and maintain eye contact. Now, your purpose when making eye contact, is to see if you can keep your eye contact for as long as possible, without looking away, and – and this is important – without becoming aggressive. So have ‘friendly, smiling eyes’. If you smile with both your eyes and your mouth, and lock eye contact at the same time, at that point your eyes do not become aggressive. They don’t become a confrontation. So smile, make friendly eye contact, and keep it for as long as you can… 3. Find agreement with someone else. The more people agree with you, the more agreeable the flow of conversation, the more you will build rapport. 4. And finally, enthuse! Use the power of your emotions to really build a wonderful state around yourself that other people are attracted to. So these are just the basic rapport techniques that you’ll be familiar with from other things. If you are familiar with ‘matching and mirroring’, by all means feel free to do some of that, but we’ll cover something more powerful on that shortly. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 69 Track 15: 1m04s Exercise 2 Exercise 2 is to practice the Instant Rapport technique. To remind you of the steps: 1. Remember a person that you really like and feel good around. When you get that feeling inside yourself, begin to focus on it, and make it grow larger. 2. If it has a colour associated to it, then spread that around yourself until you feel that entire feeling, in your entire body. 3. Then, imagine it spreading outside your body. And begin to focus your attention on the other person – the one you want to have instant rapport with. 4. Project that feeling through yourself, and maybe like a colour or a hand, to touch first the outside of the person, and then to penetrate on the inside, connecting the two of you together. 5. Whilst you’re doing this, remember to project the sense of goodwill and enjoyment. And it’s as simple as that. Then allow your unconscious mind to naturally enter whatever state of matching, or mirroring, or whatever it is that you want to do, whilst you get on with the normal conversation. Track 16: 1m13s Exercise 3 Exercise 3 is to practice this heightened state of awareness. 1. In order to do this, very simply focus all of your attention on a specific point above eye level. 2. Force your eyes to really make fine distinctions, which will create a little bit of tension in your eyes. 3. When you feel that, then allow your eyes to relax. Let the tension just drift away. And you’ll notice that your vision will expand into peripheral vision. You’ll see out of the sides of your eyes more and more of the room that © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 70 you’re in. 4. Then, wrap that sense of vision around you, so you have a sense of seeing 360-degrees around you, above you and below you. 5. Once you have that, pay attention to your hearing, and do the same sort of thing with your hearing. Allow your hearing to hear more and more things around you. 6. Finally, do the same things with your feelings. Expand your sense of feelings to fill up the entire room. Like a glowing ball of energy. 7. And then combine all three sensations: your hearing, your feelings, and what you’re seeing, all at the same time. So that you’re completely connected to your environment. This is your heightened state of awareness. Track 17: 41s Exercise 4 Exercise 4 is for those of you who are less familiar with ‘matching and mirroring’. For those of you, just simply go out and find a public place where people who know each other and like each other, hang out together: a coffee shop, a bar, a restaurant, whatever. And all you want to do is spot the people; the couples, the friends, that are friends together, and watch their body language. What things look the same? What rhythms are the same? How do they move in a kind of ‘silent dance’ with each other? You can even spot this actually whist watching TV. Turn the sound off, and watch which people are meant to be harmonizing, and which ones aren’t. The body language will tell it all. Track 18: 1m45s Exercise 5 Exercise 5 will develop a very important skill in you: The skill of being able to see whether someone is agreeing with you or disagreeing with you - saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to you before they even say anything. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 71 This will be very important later, when you almost learn to read people’s minds by recognising the signals. To do this is very simple actually, although it will take effort and a bit of practice to get this really honed down. What you want to do is, when you start talking to people – friends and colleagues or complete strangers – begin by making random comments, which they have to agree with, and then make a few random comments that they can’t agree with. For example, let’s say your friend has come from town and bought a new pair of shoes. You might make sentences like, “Oh, so you’ve just come from town, and you’ve got a new pair of shoes. And, are they black shoes? Or, have you bought jeans?” Now, knowing that they were white shoes and that she hasn’t bought jeans will force them to give you a ‘no’ response on both. Now, you’re not interested in their verbal response – whether they say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. What you’re interested in is: What is it that they do just before they begin to speak? And if you can spot a pattern, that will tell you when they’re agreeing with you, and when they’re disagreeing with you. So remember, if you wait to see what’s happening until after they’ve spoken, you’re too late. You must catch the response that occurs just before they even begin to speak, and then you’ll have almost psychic abilities to read other people’s minds; whether they’re agreeing and disagreeing with you. Track 19: 1m10s Exercise 6 Okay now, Exercise 6 will totally open your awareness so that you’re constantly aware of your environment, and in that moment of ‘flow’. For Exercise 6 you have to play this with a friend who knows you’re playing this game with them. And it’s a very simple game. I call it ‘the touching game’ because you’ll spend a day with your friend, doing whatever it is you do normally. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 72 Now, the purpose of this game is that, at some point in the day, you casually reach over and touch the other person’s head. The importance is you move very slowly. Now the other person, if they see you moving towards their head, can simply put their hand up and stop you doing this. It’s not about speed, it’s about awareness. In other words, your job is to spot the moments in which their mind is so preoccupied with something else, or so internalised, that they won’t even see you coming up and touching them. And they’ll do the same to you. And all this does is, it will force you to be aware of your environment ALL the time as you’re walking around. And you’ll notice that there are so many things in life that you will miss when you’re not normally aware, because this game will force you to be totally present and in the moment. Track 20: 2m00s Exercise 7 Exercise 7 is the final exercise for this CD. This is a ‘signal reading system’, which will really attune your ability to read the signals that other people want you to know about them. You see, the way that people talk, the way they move, and the way they dress, will tell you a lot of things about who they are. And a lot of these things are actually done unconsciously. They don’t even realise what they’re saying about themselves when they dress a certain way, speak a certain way, and move a certain way. And yet, they’re still doing it. To get good at this – to be able to ‘read people’ like this – what I want you to do is just go again into a public place where you’ll find all kinds of people. And then watch an individual doing something – whatever it happens to be: buying some fruit buying a coffee, whatever happens. Now then, I want you to watch them. And based on the things that they’re wearing, the way that they’re moving, and even the tonality of their voice if you can hear it, I want you to make up a story about them. Make guesses about what kind of person they are, what they do for a living, and what they like and dislike in life - what things they admire, and what things they dislike in life. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 73 You can base this on their jewellery, their mannerisms, their clothes…ANYTHING that give you a clue into them. Now once you’ve played this for a while, you can actually go up and start talking to people and find out if you’re right. Now, the way you can find out is, you have a normal conversation and somewhere you look and turn around and say, “Hey, you strike me as the kind of person who”, I don’t know, “really likes people”, or, “who dislikes authority”, or whatever it is that you’ve guessed this person to be like. At that point, if they agree or disagree with you is irrelevant. The point is, it will give you more information and begin to refine your ability to make good, educated guesses about what other people are like, based entirely on the way they behave, the way they dress, and the way they do things. Track 21: 1m01s End of CD2 Well, we’ve come to the end of this CD2, ‘Beyond Rapport and Signal Recognition Systems’. As soon as you’ve finished these exercises, you’ll be ready for CD3, ‘Hypnotic Language Foundations’. These foundations will be the building blocks off which you can build your entire Conversational Hypnosis experience. On the next CD you’ll discover your very first trance inductions, based purely on language. You’ll discover the ‘language of trance’, and how to create hypnotic language completely spontaneously, to make it fit every single moment that you’re in. You’ll also discover the ‘hypnotic tonalities’: the ways you can use your voice to make people want to respond to you, and to do as you ask them to do, as well as becoming a little more charismatic and interesting in the way that you communicate. All these things await you on CD3. Until then, enjoy learning from these exercises. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 74 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD3 Hypnotic Language Foundation Track 1: 41s Welcome Welcome to CD3 of the Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Course. On this CD, entitled ‘Hypnotic Language Foundation’, you will learn the building blocks that will allow you to create trances in any situation - wherever you go, whoever you speak to. Now, take good care to master these fundamental techniques, because on this foundation you will build all of your skill and abilities in Conversations Hypnosis. So, as soon as you are ready to begin, just sit back, relax, and enjoy learning Conversational Hypnosis… Track 2: 2m00s Directionalised Language As we’re beginning this CD on hypnotic language, let’s begin with the end in mind. The end is to create an ‘altered state of mind’, in order to be able to use that to help people make changes, or to persuade and influence them to do certain things. Now, this ‘altered state of mind’ is a kind of special state of awareness, in which people focus on certain ideas or thoughts, to the exclusion of others. You see, there’s an old adage that ‘what you focus on exclusively becomes real’. In the world of hypnosis, where the will and the imagination conflict, the imagination will always win out. And this will be an important theme that we’ll develop as this course continues. Now, language is our main tool when learning how to alter someone’s state of mind. And we’ll be using language in order to begin to direct the focus to the kind of outcomes that you have in mind. Remember that the ‘focus of attention’ was the very first thing that early hypnotists discovered caused hypnotic trance. So your first tool, your first task, is to grab someone’s attention and focus it. Then you can take them on a journey into trance. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 75 As you take people through these journeys, remember that you want them to focus on the kind of thoughts and ideas that will lead them to the kinds of conclusions that you have in mind; be that being therapeutic, helping someone make changes, learn more easily, or buy something. Remember always that your purpose is to use language to focus their attention on those kinds of thoughts or ideas, to the exclusion of anything else. When that happens, you’ll be sure to get the result you want. Track 3: 6m54s A smooth flow of ideas So the 1st stage to creating conversations trances is to create an unbroken flow of ideas. Imagine, if you would, that you are on the top of a theme park water-slide. As you slide down the water-slide, the water lubricates the ride down, and the curves are gently enough so that wherever you go, gravity is taking care of everything. You don’t have to do anything. You just slip, and slide, and enjoy the ride. That is how your experience of hypnosis should be when talking to someone else. It should be so smooth and so comfortable and so enjoyable, that they have no reason to want to get off, because they’re enjoying the ride too much. Principle 1: Verbal Agreement So the 1st principle that you have to bear in mind, when using Conversational Hypnosis, is to maintain a form of verbal agreement. It doesn’t mean that they have to say yes to everything you’re saying out loud. But they must be able to agree with it at some level. So that one thought or idea seamlessly moves onto the other. That creates a kind of flow, that’s very, very compelling for them to follow on to. Principle 2: Plausibility Now one way to do this is to use ‘patterns of plausibility’. As a rule of thumb, the more someone is in trance, the less plausible your suggestions need to be. But the more their conscious critical awareness is in place, the more you must satisfy by making comments that seem very plausible. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 76 For example, if I say to you, “Today is a beautiful day. The sun is shining and it’s warm outside. It’s a kind of day that children want to play in.” These are all things that you can verify externally: You can look out your window and see the sun shining. You can feel the warmth on your own skin. And maybe you can even see children outside playing. So these are all things you have to agree with because they are just verifiable facts. However, now that we have established this, we can begin to add something to the mix which may or may not be true, but is just plausible enough that you’ll probably go along with it because it seems easier to do so. Hypnotic Warning Let’s take an example of this. Now please bear in mind that this example will be mildly hypnotic. So if you’re driving a car or operating any kind of machinery, just pause the tape until you’re ready to put your full attention on what it is that we’re doing here: Hypnotic Example “Everyone knows that people can breathe. And they can breathe in and out without having to think about it. The interesting thing is, because you can control your breathing, you can take deeper breaths. And with every deep breath that you take, you can begin to relax, almost automatically. Your body know how to relax, just by breathing, at its own pattern and rhythm.” So let’s pause for a moment and have a look at what I just said there. Really I’m making an assumption that just by being to control your breathing, you’ll be able to increase your relaxation. Now, that’s kind of true and it’s kind of not true. But because I made so many statements that everyone will agree with – that fact that you can breathe in and out; that it’s outside your control and inside your control at the same time etc. – because you are in a habit of agreeing with me, when I place a suggestion (that is to say, ‘taking a deep breathe will allow you to relax more fully’) you’re more likely to accept it. It slips just past your conscious filters and begins to become true for you. Prinicple 3: Piggy Back Suggestions Now this is called the principle of ‘piggy-backing off other suggestions’. And we’ll look at this more fully in the next CD on hypnotic principles. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 77 But for the moment, just bear in mind that this smooth language allows you to create this connection between things that don’t necessarily have to be connected. So there’s a kind of a language which allows you to not only connect ideas, but also create transitions, which are very very smooth, between one thought or idea and another. It creates this effortless, seamless flow. Going back to our analogy of the water-slide and the theme park, you have to create some kind of language that will have the same effect as the water going down the water-slide, which creates a smoothness of experience. So that people can ride along these ideas without any effort at all. Principle 4: Linguistic Bridges Now in language, these ‘linguistic bridges’ are called ‘conjunctions’. They’re the cement – the stuff that binds information together – which allows you to move from one idea to another seamlessly and fluidly. Now for the moment we’re going to focus on just 4 words of power, 4 conjunctions, 4 words that act like these linguistic bridges, so that it allows you to tie together different thoughts and ideas; to begin to create a hypnotic theme that becomes very, very powerful. Once you’ve mastered these 4 words of power, I will show you how to create an almost infinite variety of these things. So that, every time you talk to someone, you can make up completely new content, completely new inductions, completely new hypnotic conversations. And every single one of them will hit home. 4 Words of Power For now, let’s focus on these ‘4 words of power’. Those 4 words are: • • • • As And Because Which Means With these 4 words you can piggy-back any suggestion of any other statements, and create a fluid, seamless piece of communication that other people will respond to hypnotically. So, let’s have a look at these 4 words of power in action. On the next track we’ll be creating a very simple hypnotic induction, using the 4 words of power and a simple theme -the idea of relaxing - so that you can relax into a trance comfortably. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 78 Hypnotic Warning Now, please bear in mind, these ARE hypnotic communications which means that all of your attention should be placed on these things. So if you are driving a car or driving any kind of machinery, please stop whatever you are doing before you listen to the next track, so that you can give your undivided attention to the patterns that we’re going to be using, and can do so safely. So go ahead and PAUSE this recording now until you’re ready to stop whatever you are doing, and focus all your attention safely on learning the 4 words of power. Track 4: 4m25s Hypnotic example (4 words of power) Now, as you’re here to learn to relax, and you find yourself in a comfortable position, because you’ve relaxed in the past it means that your body can find relaxation all over again. And the more you relax, the easier it becomes for you to continue that journey of comfort inside. Because the body is built in a way that makes relaxation a wonderful thing. Now as you feel the comfort of that relaxing feeling it means that your body can continue the process of unwinding every single muscle. Now, because you’re here to find out just how deeply you can relax. And because you have felt relaxation in the past, it means that you’ll feel the comfort of relaxation more quickly today that what you’re used to. And as you feel that first sense of comfort, I don’t know if that will be inside your body somewhere, or inside your mind. Because, people relax in different ways, which mean you’ll find your own way to relaxation. And all I know is that you’ll relax in whatever way is most appropriate for you. Because everyone needs to find their own way of relaxing. And as you find your way of relaxing, it means that you can find the comfort that your body brings, as your mind just calms down. And as your mind becomes calmer, and more relaxed, so your body will begin to relax more and more deeply. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 79 Because mental and physical relaxation is something that are always intertwined, it means you can continue to drift down into comfort, into relaxed attention. Because your attention can drift between the most comfortable parts of your body. And the more you relax, the more comfortable you’ll feel, which means that you’re really learning to relax whenever you want to. And as you’re learning more about relaxation, and finding out how your mind can feel more comfortable, it means that you can learn something of great importance about Conversational Hypnosis. Because relaxation is the best way to learn something easily. And you are relaxing. And as you relax, you’ll find yourself learning at the unconscious level, which means you really don’t need to make an effort any more. All you need to do is sit back, and relax, because your unconscious mind will take care of both the relaxation and drifting deeper and deeper into a relaxed state of awareness. As you drift into this relaxed state of awareness, you’ll find yourself feeling the comfort that your unconscious mind has been learning about. Because you can learn, and you can relax, which means you can relax your way into learning something new. And you don’t even need to think about how you’re relaxing, because the learnings will continue to drift through you. And as they drift through you, your unconscious mind will take them inside and absorb them, which means you can learn effortlessly. Now, as you’re ready to understand that, feel free to bring yourself back to a more refreshed and alert kind of position. So that you can get ready to move on to the next track, in which we break down these things, only as quickly as you can understand these patterns now. Track 5: 4m52s Breakdown of the hypnotic example (4 words of power) So, welcome back. By now you’ll have realised that the previous induction was really just using 3 simple ideas - 3 simple themes – and just repeating them in almost meaningless ways. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 80 The 3 ideas were to relax, to feel comfort, and to learn. That’s it! And I kept repeating those ideas over and over and over again, in different ways, presenting them and linking them with our conjunctions; our ‘4 words of power’. You notice how you can speak almost endlessly with just those ‘4 words of power’, and a few simple themes and ideas. And if you can do it with 4 words, then we can start introducing more and more of these conjunctions, more and more of these linguistic bridges, which will give you such an exquisite use of language that people will hang on every word you want to say. So let’s have a look, a little bit, at the little induction that you just experienced: Principle 1: Repetition Of Hypnotic Themes First of all, you will obviously have noticed the ‘4 words of power’ being repeated over and over again (‘as’, ‘and’, ‘because’, and ‘means’). Now, these 4 words have been tied together with the glue that ties together the ideas of relaxing, of comfort, and of learning. Principle 2: Priming Unconscious Responses So these are hypnotic themes, which prime certain responses. The way that language works is, that in order to understand whatever it is I am saying, inside you must access a little bit of the experience. If I say the word ‘cat’, inside your mind you must make a picture of a cat, or a feeling of a cat, or hear the sound of a purring cat; whatever most defines the essence of a cat to you inside your own neurology. But at some level, you must have the experience of ‘cat-ness’ to be able to understand that word. Now we can use that to our advantage because, when we talk about relaxation, people must access the meanings that word has inside themselves – which means they begin to have the same experience again. It’s called ‘priming unconscious responses’. Principle 3: Tonality & Rhythm You’ll also notice that we are beginning to introduce the idea of ‘tonality and rhythm’. This is something we’ll look at more closely later on in this CD. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 81 Principle 4: Piggy Back Suggestions We’re also beginning to ‘piggy-back off of other suggestions’. Notice that one of the greatest things that the ‘4 words of power’ allows you to do is to ‘piggy-back’ off certain things (“So when you’re relaxing a little bit, you’ll find yourself relaxing more…”). You’re ‘piggy-backing’ off your own responses. You can have yourself ‘piggyback’ off responses that will happen anyway, or off responses that you have suggested. Principle 5: The Yes Set Now, there’s a principle called the ‘yes-set’ principle, an agreement frame, where people will keep saying ‘yes’ and ‘yes’ and ‘yes’, agreeing to everything you are saying as you go along. So the more you use that, the more you can weave in-between that your own suggestions – in this case relaxing, feeling comfort, and learning. More Linguistic Bridges By now I hope you’ll agree that using the ‘4 words of power’ is actually a very simple thing to do. All you are doing is fitting the words ‘relax’, or whatever hypnotic theme you are working on, in-between the conjunctions, in whatever way might vaguely fit and sound plausible. Now once you get used to practicing that a little bit, and get used to the flow and the rhythm of this, you can turn to your manual – the ‘Conversational Hypnosis’ Book. And in the back of that I’ve included about fifty-odd linguistic bridges, just like the ‘words of power’, and many, many more which work in the same way but are more potent because it allows you a greater range of expressing yourself. The Street Hypnosis Deck And for those of you who are interested, I’ve taken those cards which are in the back of the ‘Conversational Hypnosis’ Manual, and I’ve turned them into a set of playing cards, with beautiful designs that you can carry anywhere you go, to continue practicing your skills. If you’re interested in that particular set of cards, look up the Street Hypnosis Deck on the internet, and I’m sure you’ll find them. Available from http://www.streethypnosisdeck.com © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 82 Otherwise, for the purely practical, functional purposes, that cards at the back of the ‘Conversational Hypnosis’ Manual will have the same effect as the ‘4 power words’, only taking it to a further extreme. On the next track, I’m going to give you a brief example of what it would sound like to use the ‘4 words of power’ together with the ‘Language Pattern Cards’ to create even more rich communication. Hypnotic Warning There’ll be a brief example, but again, because it’s mildly hypnotic, please stop this recording until you are ready to focus ALL your attention on listening and doing so safely. So if you’re driving a car or operating any kind of machines, just stop whatever you are doing and then listen to the next track. Track 6: 3m48s Hypnotic example (full hypnotic language patterns) I wonder if you realise yet just how simple it is to relax comfortably... Now you must allow your body to relax in its own way... And there’s no need to relax until you begin to feel a sense of comfort somewhere inside your body... And a person can, you know, relax comfortably to the point where the mind begins to open to new learnings... And you really don’t have to relax any more quickly than you find a sense of deep peace and comfort inside yourself... Have you ever just allowed your mind to drift off, so you space out in a comfortable sense of relaxed inner tension? Because every time it just drifts and wanders, your body can relax more and more deeply... And whenever your body relaxes, you begin to learn these patterns at a deeper, more unconscious level... And I need to tell you that your unconscious mind can not only help you to relax more deeply, but can also make sure that you’re learning things at a vastly accelerated rate... And I want you to understand and learn at a much faster rate, so you can continue right on relaxing and learning... And you really shouldn’t relax any more quickly than you feel comfortable doing so... © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 83 And how will you know that you’ve learnt all about hypnotic language? I know you want to master the hypnotic language which will allow you to do Conversational Hypnosis with people around you... And you might realise that you find relaxation in the same place as you’re learning about Conversational Hypnosis… I know you’re wondering just how quickly you’ll learn to master the skills... Can you imagine yourself as a relaxed a person, talking to another person, feeling the relaxation flowing through your mouth as you speak comfortably? And it’s a good thing that you’re relaxing right now... Remember that relaxation is the gateway to the learnings that you are creating... Because consciously you can enjoy drifting down, ever more relaxed, whilst unconsciously you’re learning to perceive hypnotic language, and to speak hypnotic language more and more eloquently... And it’s not necessary that you have a conscious insight into the hypnotic language, for your unconscious mind to begin to alter the way that you communicate, and make it more hypnotic... You might find yourself talking to someone, and using the ‘4 words of power’ or the hypnotic language, the ‘linguistic bridges’, more and more smoothly each time... And you really should discover for yourself that you can speak hypnotically, automatically, and in any setting... And as soon as you make that realisation, you’ll discover that learning Conversational Hypnosis is the easiest thing in the world... Now, sooner or later you’ll have to drift back up into a normal, everyday, alert state of mind. If you find yourself coming back now, then you can move on to the next segment, so that you learn more about hypnotic language and the smoothness in the sound of your own voice... Track 7: 2m41s The “Milton Model” Welcome back again. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 84 By now you should be realising the power of language is both a simple and a very effective means of creating hypnotic interactions with people. Now, I want to have a little word with you about where this language came from. The language on the language cards on the back of your Conversational Hypnosis Manual – the same ones which you’ll find in the Street Hypnosis Deck (with a few additions to them) – were modelled from the greatest hypnotherapist who has lived to date. A man called Milton Erickson. Now, Milton had a very complex way of communicating with his clients; and very, very effective at that. Now, not everyone has the patience or the time to be able to dedicate themselves to learning to master hypnotic communication the way that Milton did. Personally, I thinks it’s worthwhile if everyone does this. But for those who have a little less time on their hands, I’ve actually simplified the whole model down into the hypnotic language pattern cards, and this idea of ‘linguistic bridges’, which allows you to smoothly flow from one idea to the other. Remember, these language cards have the essence of Milton’s language in them. And remember that this man took over 50 or 60 years to perfect his own skill. So you have really the distilled, refined experience of one of the world’s greatest hypnotists. Bonus Handout Sheets On The Milton Model For those of you who want to study his language further, the first thing I would recommend that you do is go to your bonus ‘handout sheets’, in which the entire ‘Milton Model’ has been condensed for you. And you can actually look at the patterns themselves, and study that, and actually begin to use them. [The Milton Model Sheets are in Part 2 of the Appendix] Whatever you do, however, please take the time to master this fundamental skill in hypnosis. If you can flow with these ‘linguistic bridges’, into weaving hypnotic themes and ideas in-between, you will have got the essence of what will make your Conversational Hypnosis fly. If you skip over this section then the only person that you are fooling will be yourself. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 85 So take time; go back over this section over and over and over again, and really master this ability. Master the language of trance. Track 8: 4m39s The performance element in hypnosis The next element to master the foundations of hypnotic language, believe it or not, is the ‘performance element’ itself. Your tonality has so much information that it’s really worth spending the time to totally master the way you communicate. Not just the words that you use, but how you say those words. Birdwhistell Study There’s an interesting study, by a Mr. Birdwhistell, in which he looked at the meaning of communication and tried to like break it down between the actual words, the tonalities, and the body language. Now whilst the words are still incredibly important, he discovered only about 7% of the actual meaning taken from a communication comes from the word itself. About 38% comes from the actual tonality (the way you say it). And as much as 55% comes from the nonverbal communication (the way that you hold yourself, your facial expression, and all those things besides). Now think what that means for you. It means that, if all you do is master the actual words themselves, you could become a very, very poor hypnotist if you don’t have the performance elements to back you up with it. Remember that hypnosis is a performance art. It’s something that you DO with people. So therefore you have to master the way of really presenting it in a way that’s compelling. The Importance Of Tonality So, in the rest of this section, we’re going to examine how you can play with your tonality to create difference kinds of meanings. For example, there are so many different ways you could say the word ‘no’. You could say ‘no’ to imply ‘yes’, to imply ‘maybe’, to imply all kinds of different things. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 86 Even a word as powerful as the word ‘hate’ can mean different things, depending on how you say it. You could say, ‘I hate you’, and then mean exactly what it says. But you can say, ‘I hate you’, and mean something completely different. You could even say ‘I hate you’, and again, a different meaning is implied every single time. The word itself has changed its meaning by the way you perform the actual delivery of it. Now it’s very, very important that you take time to do this. Performance Principle 1: Go First The easiest way to actually get your delivery right is the principle of ‘Going First’. What do I mean by ‘going first’? Well, every thought that you have affects you physically and emotionally. And those, in turn, will affect the way that you behave, and the way you speak and say things – the way you perform things. So, if you try to tell someone that you love them, it’s very difficult to do that if in your mind you have all these pictures of people you dislike, or a stressful work situation, and the like. In order to be able to put the right meaning behind those words, you have to be able to get into the state of mind first, which will allow you to deliver it completely congruently. BMIRs & Body Language There’s an old acronym, called a ‘BMIR’, which relates to this. ‘BMIR’ stands for B-M-I-R = ‘Behavioural Manifestation of an Internal Representation’. That’s basically a complex way of saying that every time you think about something, it will somehow show in the way you move, in the way you breathe, in your body language, and even in your tonality. So the easiest way to perform something is for you to go into the state of mind to make the mental images, to speak to yourself in the tone of voice – that you want to deliver things in. So, for example, let us say you want to help someone to relax. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 87 The worst thing you can do is think of stressful scenes; to think of people you don’t like at work; to think of the guy who cut you up in the car on the way to work. The best thing you can do is to imagine you are lying on a wonderful beach, or any relaxing scene. So that when you say the word ‘relax’, it’s filled with the relaxation that you want to convey to someone else. So this is the principle of ‘Going First’. From this moment forward, any time you have a hypnotic them I want you to, inside your mind, first activate that theme. Go to a place, remember memories, think of scenarios in which that theme is true; be that ‘excitement’, be that ‘wonder’, or be that ‘relaxation’. Track 9: 4m27s The performance element in hypnosis – continued… Performance Principle 2: Squeeze The Meaning So the first think you need to learn to do is to make your voice tone match the experience you’re trying to convey. It really brings your words to life. When your words come to life, people can actually have the experience that you’re trying to give them. So, to do this, I want you to squeeeeeeeeze the meaning from your words. It doesn’t mean that you ‘squeeze’ the meaning [delivered in a very abrupt way], you ‘squeeeeeeeeeze’ the meaning. You must make each word really reverberate with the emotional content that it means. I remember talking to one hypnotist, and watching him do an induction with someone. Unfortunately, this man wasn’t very good. Because every time he tried to get someone to relax, instead of saying ‘reeeeelaaaaax’, he would say [abruptly, loudly, and with a forceful downward inflection], “Relax! Now, you’re eyes are relaxing. Your feet are relaxing. Relax! Relax even more! Now, relax your shoulders. Relax! You’re far too tense. Relax your shoulders now! Relax your body. Relax your mind. Relax! Deep, deep into trance!” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 88 Now, even from that short burst, you should realise that that really isn’t the way to get someone to relax. Similarly, if you want someone to go deeper into a trance, you don’t say [high pitch, rising inflection, almost as if singing] “Go deeeeeep-per, and deeeeeepper”, because the tone of voice is suggesting something completely different. ‘Deeper’ goes down. So if you want someone to go ‘deeper, and deeper, and deeper still’, you must let your voice do the work for you. Exercise on Tonality: Squeeze The Meaning So here’s an exercise for you to begin with. I’m going to read a list of words to you, which in a moment you’ll get to practice. And I want you to say them in as many different ways as possible, until you find the one that really reverberates with it’s full meaning. For example, there are so many ways you can say the word ‘Love’. You can ‘love’ things, or ‘love’ things. Excitement Fantastic Long Hate Tiny Anger Weird Focus Amazing Calm As you listen to this list of words, notice how each one is performed in a way that it begins to really suggest part of its meaning. So the tonality brings the word to life itself. Exercise 1 Now the way I’d like you to practice these is take these words, or any others, that have that kind of rich meaning. Take a dictionary or a thesaurus out, and start randomly going through it, until you find words to practice on. And then make the words sound like what they mean. Exercise 2 Once you’ve done this, choose a sentence, and try to put as many of these words into it as possible whilst making each word come to life. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 89 So you’re squeeeeezing the meaning from your words. For example, you might say, “Hey, I love going to the park. I feel so excited. You see, a long, long time ago, when I was just a tiny little boy, I had the weirdest experience. This man came to our house and he was just an amazing person. In fact, he had this fantastic habit of giving us sweets. Now, I know my mother hated us having sweets. In fact, sometimes she’d get downright angry with us for eating too many sweets. But, you know, there’s times when you have to just focus on the good things in life. And once she calmed down, she saw the funnier side, and allowed us to enjoy the experiences that we are having.” So notice that I’ve used the very same list as I showed you a moment ago. And I’ve really brought the meaning to life. It really brings the whole rhythm of what you’re doing. It brings a pulse, and a real meaning, into the things that you do. So I’d like you to just go ahead and just PAUSE this recording for a moment. And only move on to the next track when you’ve had an opportunity to practice squeeeeeezing the meaning from your words, and then putting them into random sentences, just to bring the words to life within that. Go ahead and do that now. Track 10: 2m48s The performance element in hypnosis – continued… Performance Principle 3: Emphasis So now that you’re getting used to squeezing the meaning from your words, what are some other things that you can do with your tonality to really enrich your hypnotic communication? Well, one of the things is – Where do you put your emphasis on the words? What is it you’re implying when you lean on different parts of a sentence? Let’s take a simple sentence like, “Did you go to the woods today?” Now I’m going to read the same sentence out over and over again, and each time I’m going to lean on a different part of that sentence. And all you need to do is just listen, and notice how that affects your own understanding of it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 90 What are the implications? What am I assuming? What are you experiencing differently every time the sentence changes slightly? [Underlining denotes where extra emphasis has been placed]: Did you go to the woods today? Did you go to the woods today? Did you go to the woods today? Did you go to the woods today? Did you go to the woods today? Did you go to the woods today? Did you go to the woods today? Now notice how I’ve taken every word, and emphasised it in turn. And every time I did that, it changed the meaning to some degree. You see, your emphasis – the way you lean on things – actually begins to tell people what you find important; and actually begins to imply other messages. Now you’ve begun the process of multiple levels of information. That means you can say one thing, on one level, and another thing on another level. People do this all the time. Sometimes they’re even aware of it. Now you can begin to master that for yourself. Something that’s related to this, and which is very important in hypnotic communications, is taking the time to really emphasise certain words, so that people realise that you’re saying something of great importance. I could say: “Now, I’m going to tell you something of great importance” Or I could say that “You really need to listen, because there’s something of great importance that you really need to understand at some level.” And that’s very different as an experience, to me saying © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 91 “You really need to listen because there’s something of great importance that you need to understand at some level.” The same words delivered in a different way. I’d like you to go ahead and experiment with that. Do that in conversations. Begin leaning on certain words. And notice what impact that has on others, and actually even on yourself as you do that. Track 11: 4m12s The performance element in hypnosis – continued… Performance Principle 4: Rhythm & Tone The next topic that relates to Tonalities has everything to do with rhythm and tone of voice. The first thing we’re going to look at is to create a ‘trance rhythm’. Now, whenever you listen to music, you find that it alters your state of consciousness, because the music – the rhythm – sucks you in. In the same way, you can begin….to speak…..in a certain….rhythm. And that rhythm….begins to change…the way that you…are perceived…by another person. So by changing rhythms, you can actually give people an indication of when it’s time to be in a trance, and when it’s time to be outside of a trance. Handclapping Drill So, a simple way to practice this is to go ahead and just begin clapping on your own thighs. Your left hand on your left thigh, your right hand on your right thigh. And begin to clap out a rhythm of 4 beats: 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4… And as you maintain that rhythm, building that rhythm over and over again, just do that for a while until you get physically used to it. And actually move your body with it. Get the rhythm to be inside your body, not just inside your mind: 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4… Move your body, as you begin to build this rhythm. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 92 And then as you build this rhythm, you can begin to talk around the very same rhythm. And even though I’m varying…the pattern of my speech…I’m still following the same rhythm…which is inside my head…and more importantly...which is inside my body. And this rhythm…can begin to become…more compelling…because it has a kind of…music behind it. Now, you can actually experiment with different kinds of rhythms. You can experiment with a 4-beat, a 3-beat, a 2-beat; you can experiment with all sorts of different things. If you’re a drummer, you’ll already be great at this. If you’re not, feel free to go to a drumming workshop and learn something of it. Or just do the simple ‘hand-clapping drill’ to build that internal clock, that internal awareness, of rhythm. Now for those of you who want to have a really elegant example of rhythm being used in normal communication, to make it a really beautiful sound that people just find compelling to listen to: go and see the French film Cyrano de Bergerac (the version with ‘Depardieu’ in it). [DVD available from Amazon.com ISBN 0 7928 5963 4] Now remember this came out in the 80s, and the first time I saw it, I was mesmerized by the language, and I thought, “Wow! French really is a beautiful language.” And it wasn’t until I watched it 2 or 3 times that I suddenly realised what made this such a compelling sound. You see, the whole film is based on a play. And the play was written in rhyming couplets, which means there is a certain rhythm built into the language. And they were speaking in such a way that you didn’t quite realise that they were speaking in poetic rhythms. But the rhythms came out nonetheless, and had a very, very powerful effect on the audience. So, to get a similarly powerful effect, really practice getting these internal rhythms built in. So you have different rhythms for different things: A slower rhythm for quieter times. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 93 A faster rhythm for more exciting times. A rhythm for learning, and a rhythm for other things that you’re doing as well. Practice these physically. So do the clapping, and move your body. Because once you’re body understands it – once your body feels the rhythm – it’ll be so much easier to just talk, and let go, and allow your voice to just catch up to the rhythms that are already playing inside your own mind. Track 12: 3m30s The performance element in hypnosis – continued… Performance Principle 5: Develop A Trance Voice Now the next thing for you to do, is to develop a ‘trance voice’ (or a ‘hypnotic voice’). What do I mean by this? Well, let me tell you what I don’t mean by this. There is an idea out there somehow there’s a certain tonality that will suddenly switch off people’s cortex and put them under your spell instantly. Well that doesn’t happen. There’s no tonality that just goes straight into the root of the brain and makes people do what you want them to. Although, in a moment, we’ll explore a couple of tonalities that do go in that direction. The way that a ‘trance voice’ (or a ‘hypnotic voice’) really works is it creates a trigger mechanism. It educates the unconscious mind that, when you speak in that voice, you should go into an altered state. It’s a little bit like when you listen to the sound of your favourite music – perhaps your ‘holiday tune’. And you’re walking past a shop that happens to be playing the ‘holiday tune’, and suddenly your mind just drifts back, and you enter the same sort of holiday atmosphere, or the holiday mood that you had when you first heard the song. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 94 Or maybe you’re walking past a baker’s shop, and out wafts the scent of freshly baked bread. And suddenly it takes you back to your grandmother’s kitchen, and how good you felt spending your childhood in that place. Well, these are examples of unconscious triggers, triggering off inside of you certain states and experiences that have been set up in the past. Now, with a hypnotic voice, you can create different types of tonalities which will tell the unconscious mind when it’s time to be awake, and when it’s time to be in trance. In fact, you can actually set up many different voices. I have about 4 or 5; some I use for teaching, some for normal everyday interactions, others for trance. Now, when I go into the ‘trance voice’, those people who have studied with me before, or have come to my hypnotherapy clinic, will instantly drop into a trance – because there’s a suggestion to the unconscious mind that it’s time to go inside. Now notice, even though I’ve only just started to speak in a hypnotic voice, there is something that is beginning to shift inside of you already. And I haven’t even taken the time yet to fully set that voice inside your mind yet. So I’ll stop doing that for the moment, just so you can come back outside, and really feel the difference between me speaking in a more ‘up-time’, more ‘outside awareness’ sort of voice, and me speaking in a more ‘hypnotic’ kind of voice. Now of course, everything you have done so far still counts. So just as, in a few sessions ago, you learned to squeeeeze the meaning from your words, you want to make sure that, whatever hypnotic voice you use, is a smooth and pleasant voice that people actually enjoy listening to – like a radio voice if you like. But make sure you only ever use this when you’re using trance processes. That way you keep a clear divide between when you’re hypnotising people, and when you’re not. For example, the wrong time to use a hypnotic voice is when you’re in a car with a friend, and your friend is driving. That’s a good time to keep them wide awake, completely alert, and focused on the road in front of you!! Now, I’m only introducing this concept right now, because in a few CDs’ time, when we come to the recording on ‘Emotional Triggers’, we’ll really explore how to set your hypnotic voice more fully. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 95 Track 13: 5m57s The performance element in hypnosis – continued… Performance Principle 6: The 3 Tonalities (Command & Doubt) The final thing for you to realise is that the English language has 3 basic tonalities. Each of these tonalities carries with it some implications, and certain meanings. An Upward inflection at the end of a statement or a sentence is something that denotes a question. A Straight and Level intonation throughout the sentence is a statement. And a Downward intonation, at the end of a sentence or statement, denotes an instruction or a command. So, what are these tonalities really useful for? Questioning Tonality: Non-Verbal Yes Set Well, let’s look at the ‘questioning’ tonality for a while. Now if someone has the habit of finishing a sentence? And each sentence finishes on an upward tonality? It doesn’t even have to be a sentence? And if they keep following? and their tonality keeps going up at the end? well, it kind of implies a question, doesn’t it? Now, the reason this can be useful is it can create a sort of non-verbal ‘yes set’. You can actually induce the person to say ‘yes’, or kind of nod their head in agreement, when you’re checking things out with them. So it’s a very useful tonality to have to make sure people are still ‘on-board’ with you. So you could list a whole series of things. For example, you might say, “Hey, so you’ve come here. And you want to learn this. And you’ve had so much time to learn it in before. And you still haven’t got the hang of it yet. And now you really get to learn it properly.” So notice how I have taken 3 or 4 statements and put a questioning tonality at the end of it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 96 This kind of forces you, as you listen to it, to keep pace with it and kind of nod along the way, making sure that I’ve actually got you on board. Now the last statement, I switched tonalities to ‘command’ tonality – which is kind of a way of locking everything in place. Questioning Tonality: Create Doubt Another way to use questioning tonalities is, it’s a very good way for putting things into doubt. For example, someone might say, you know, “You parked the car outside today.” You might say, “I? Parked the car? Outside?” So do you see again how you can begin to imply doubt or cast a shadow of doubt onto things just by how you repeat them – how you say them? This is actually a very powerful, non-verbal trick, used a lot by lawyers or barristers in a courtroom, in order to either downplay some information, or cast suspicion on something, without having to say it outright. Hypnotic Principle: Imply Don’t Assert The rule-of-thumb is – and this is something we will cover more fully on the next CD – that if you ‘imply’ something, it is much more powerful than something that you actually say outright. So tonalities allow you to do things which saying outright would work, but really wouldn’t be quite as powerful. Questioning Tonality: Keep ‘Em Talking Finally, the ‘question’ tonality, especially if you accompany it by a set of raised eyebrows, is a very good sort of non-verbal cue to make sure the other person keeps talking. So let’s say the other person says… well, we’re negotiating, and let’s say I want to have $500 for the car. And you look at them, you raise your eyebrow, and you say, “$500?” – and you wait. Now, this is a very powerful non-verbal cue, which in the Western world (particularly in the English language)) is a sign for the other person to keep talking. So, the only way they can keep talking, because you’ve provided no new information, is for the other person to add new information. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 97 Typically, they will change their offer at this point. Command Tonality So now that we have a handle on how ‘questioning’ tonality works, what can we use ‘command’ tonality for? Well, if you think about the mind as having different areas in which it automatically performs certain functions, well the ‘command’ tonality is the closest thing to opening the behavioural side of the brain – because you’re just used to responding to certain commands and instructions just by doing them. Now, the ‘command’ tonality on its own is not going to make sure that everyone, all the time, does everything you ask them to. However, it makes it more likely that you’re instructions will be carried out. Now, one way that you can use ‘command’ tonality - or as we like to call it ‘command tone down’ – in order to get people to do things, is you can phrase something as a question, but make it very clear that you’re making an instruction. For example, “Is that window still open?” [downward inflection] creates a very different effect to saying, “Is that window still open?” [upward inflection]. So you can already hear now one of them has a strong implication of action behind it. And all you have to do is set that implication in motion, and give the other person enough space, and usually they will actually follow though with action. Now, ‘command tone down’ is a very powerful form of tonality which is really worthwhile you getting used to now. Take your time and experiment, both with questioning inflections and commanding inflections. You’ll notice that people respond much more powerfully to you in whatever it is that you’re doing. Track 14: 1m11s Exercise 1 So, we’ve reached the end now of the third CD in this series. By now you should have understandings enough to create your own hypnotic language foundation. It’s time for you to go off an practice all kinds of exercises. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 98 The first thing I’m going to ask you to practice, is to actually just go inside, get out your cards of the Milton Model, and study them. Really read through them thoroughly, so you can begin to understand the actual models that the genius Milton Erickson himself unconsciously developed. Now, I’m not suggesting that you take these models and start using them directly already. If you can do that, fantastic, but to be honest with you it’s enough that you’re aware of them right now. Because it will begin to colour your language and affect you in other ways. In time, you can come back to these models again and again, and understand them at different depths. Understand it in different ways, which will actually expand your ability to communicate with others. So just go ahead and read that model now, and then take that as your foundation for all the other exercises you’ll be doing. Track 15: 1m00s Exercise 2 Exercise 2 is very simple. I’d like you to practice your flow in language with some very simply hypnotic themes. The simple hypnotic themes are the very same ones I use in this CD set. So: - relaxation - comfort - and learning These are the most basic uses of trance work themselves. Now, the way I’d like you to start, is first of all just used the ‘4 words of power’. Remember, these are the words: - as - and - because - and means As you do these exercises, and begin to introduce the 3 themes of relaxation and comfort and learning, because you’ve learned things in the past, it means you’ll learn how to flow with language more easily. So, once you get the hang of flowing round, and round, and round, in different hypnotic circles, just using the ‘4 words of power’, you can move onto ‘Exercise 3’. Track 16: 2m06s © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 99 Exercise 3 Exercise 3 is pretty much the same as ‘Exercise 2’. Only this time you’re going to expand your linguistic bridges beyond the ‘4 words of power’. To do this, simply turn to the back of your Conversational Hypnosis Manual, where you’ll find 50-odd ‘language bridge’ cards, which will allow you to flow with language. The easiest way to use these is to just cut them out, and shuffle them into a random order. Then, make up an induction on the same theme – and remember relaxation, comfort and learning are the basic trance themes for the moment. And as you create your own hypnotic inductions, you use the cards – always in a random order – to spur your creativity to create always a different and new and novel experience.’ Here is anther example of the kind of thing I mean for you to be doing: “Sooner or later you’ll go into a trance and relax. And as soon as you begin to relax, you’ll start to feel the comfort that trance bring with it. You really should discover for yourself that comfort that deepens your relaxation. You might find yourself drifting comfortably into a relaxed place inside your mind. So it’s not necessary that you feel totally comfortable now, until you find that trance developing by itself. Because consciously you’ll feel the comfort, whilst unconsciously you begin to learn new things at different levels. “Can you remember the last time that you felt deeply relaxed? And it’s a good thing that you’re feeling that comfort now. And imagine what it would feel like to deepen the comfort even more fully. I know you’re wondering how easily you’ll learn these new things. And you might realise that learning happens more quickly when you feel more comfortable. And I know that you want to feel more comfortable.” Track 17: 1m44s Exercise 4 Okay, now the fourth exercise in this series is going to take these skills to the next level. I want you to begin to develop a little trance topic around a normal theme – a theme that you could use in everyday life. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 100 So, if you’re a manager, you may want to do a little 2- or 3-minute piece around having someone’s appraisal. If you’re a salesperson, you might create a 2- or 3-minute piece around a sales process. If you’re a teacher, around helping people to learn things more easily. Here’s an example of the kind of thing I mean by this: “So children, as you sit there in those chairs, and begin to think about the lesson we’ve had here today, it means your brains are already soaking in the information that we’ve been dealing with today. “Now, because you all have a brain that works in a different way, it means you need to sit comfortably in order to understand all of the things you hadn’t understood yet. And when you allow yourself to relax, understanding will come all by itself. “So, as you sit there, take a deep breath, and feel yourself relaxing. And I know you want to relax, and learn the things that we’ve been covering today.” So, hopefully you should have a feeling right now, of how you can use these language patterns in pretty much any setting. The more you do these, the more different settings you actually practice in now, the easier it’ll be to start using them in real life. So just go ahead, and really enjoy yourself, and really go out on a limb to make as many different kinds of mini inductions, using these kinds of language patterns, as you can think of. Track 18: 1m06s Exercise 5 Exercise 5 is simply about tonalities. I’d like you to go back over the list of words you’ve been playing with, and really squeeeeze the meaning from each one of these words. If you really want to get good at this, take out a dictionary or thesaurus, and begin rifling through it. And at random, just point at a word and run it through, say it out loud, until it begins to sound the way that it should really mean. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 101 Now, some words you can actually take and actually turn into different meanings by saying it in different ways. And practice doing this also. Then, take these words and put them into sentences; the sentences can be random – it doesn’t really matter what they are – as long as you say them meaningfully. Remember that implication of meaning comes from your ability to lean on certain words and make it sound as though ‘this is really important now’. So take your time, and really get a handle on making your tonality sound that way. Track 19: 1m58s Exercise 6 So Exercise 6 is all about ‘command’ tonalities and ‘questioning’ tonalities. I want you to really master the ability to change your voice tone to imply the different things, and open the mind either to doubt, to agreement, or to following a set of instructions. Now, if you’re like most people, a lot of people have difficulty particularly with the ‘command’ tonality. They really can’t quite get themselves to ‘tell’ other people to do certain things. It helps, if you do this, by accentuating the physical characteristics. So, for example, when you are using ‘questioning’ tonality, lift your eyebrows as high as possible, open your eyes as wide as you can, smile, or you may even shrug your shoulders, and then you’ll find your tonality kind of rises all by itself. And likewise, when you’re using ‘command’ tonality, maybe you want to frown a little bit. I used to point my finger at an imaginary client, and then give him instructions. So that, every time I pointed my finger, and frowned, my voice started going down, because the physiology of commands, of instructions, is to point and frown slightly, and really get someone to do something. Now, this is something which you can go really go to town on. Really go to an extreme. And once you get used to it – once your voice can do it all by itself – the physical mannerisms can be pulled back. Now, it’s still useful to bring your eyebrows down together in the middle a little bit, or lift your eyebrows up a little bit, when you’re doing ‘command tone down’ or © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 102 ‘questioning’ tonality, in a normal interaction, but it’s only a slight nuance at that point. Whilst you’re practicing, that’s the time when you really go out to town on this. Track 20: 2m19s Exercise 7 Okay, we’re on to Exercise 7 now. Exercise 7 is going to pull together everything you’ve learned on this CD. For Exercise 7 I want you to get a tape recorder or an mp3 player – anything that will record the sound of your voice. And I want you to start recording hypnotic monologues: 5-10 minute pieces of hypnosis on any theme that you wish to. If you can’t think of a theme, simply use the basic default of hypnotic themes: relax, feel comfortable, and learn. Now, the important thing when you record these hypnotic monologues is, first of all, that you use everything that you’ve learned on here. So that you use the ‘4 words of power’, you’re using the ‘linguistic bridges’ (you’ll find in the back of your Conversational Hypnosis Manual). You’ll begin to use your tonality, so you squeeeeze the meaning from the word. You’ll begin to lean on certain words, to make it really sound meaningful, important, significant. You’ll use ‘command tone down’, as well as sometimes asking a question. And as you do all these things, you’ll also…change your tonality. And build a rhythm, a hypnotic rhythm, so that as you do all the other things, your hypnotic rhythm and your hypnotic tonality are built into the way you speak – your hypnotic monologues. Now, once you’ve recorded these hypnotic monologues, what I’d like you to do is actually play them back, and listen to them yourself. I want you to do at least 10, 20, 50 of them, a 100 of these things! And every time you listen to them, I want you to just notice the effect it has on you: Does it make you feel relaxed? Does it have a certain impact? Does your mind begin to calm down? Do you begin to just kind of phase out, only half-listening to what’s going on? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 103 Notice the things that make the experience smoother for you, and notice which things jar you out a little bit, and make you want to come back out of whatever experience you’re having. That way you’re constantly refining your own ability to do this. It’s very important that you get that kind of feedback from yourself. Track 21: 2m01s Exercise 8 So the final exercise is in some ways the most fun of all. Just start doing it with other people. What do I mean by doing ‘it’? Start using your hypnotic language - the foundations you’ve built on this CD in normal, everyday conversations. So start to use the ‘4 words of power’. And as you begin to use the ‘4 words of power’, and notice how people are responding to you, it means that you can take the next level, and begin to use ‘linguistic bridges’ in ALL of your communications. Now, because you’re using ‘linguistic bridges’ in normal communications, and making that a natural part of what you’re doing, you can find yourself speaking in certain patterns in a natural hypnotic rhythm. Now, will that be a 4-beat, or a 3-beat, or a 2-beat? It really doesn’t matter, because as long as you’re speaking in a smooth rhythm, that other people will enjoy listening to, you might even find yourself going down into an even more hypnotic tonality – from time to time. So that you begin to distinguish between an intimate, more hypnotic tone of voice, and a more everyday kind of speaking kind of voice. Now the more you do this, the easier it becomes, and the more you can notice people responding to you. Especially when you start using ‘command tone down’. And if you ever have any doubts about what you might be doing, just remember that ‘command tone down’ works as much on you as it does on the people around you. The more you do this, the easier it becomes. So just get used to using hypnotic language in normal, everyday interactions. And if you have a specific thing in mind – like an appraisal, or © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 104 a sales meeting, or helping a child to learn something new – then specifically start using that in that context more and more often. Make it a natural thing that you can slip on and off like a comfortable glove. Track 22: 1m55s End of CD3 Congratulations! You’ve made it to the end of this CD3, ‘Hypnotic Language Foundations’. Now on the next CD, ‘The Authority Strategy: Tactics to Ensure Success’, I’m going to reveal to you the most powerful tactics in order to really get inside someone’s mind, and formulate the most powerful suggestions, that will affect them on a deeper level. These powerful tactics have embedded inside them the principles which will allow you to really understand how to formulate suggestions that get results. For example, we’ll be looking at the ‘power tactics’, so that you can begin to develop your own ‘authority strategy’ – coming across as a figure of authority both in the sense of hypnosis and in general life. We’ll be looking at the ‘agreement principles’, which will allow you to put to sleep that ‘critical factor’ which is always guarding the mind from information. We’ll show you how to use persistence in different ways to really wear down people’s resistance, and go right through into their unconscious processes. Finally, we’ll look at tactics for getting past people’s conscious and unconscious resistance with great ease. By simply ‘firing in suggestions’, whilst at the same time taking aside (or putting to sleep) people’s ‘critical factor’ – that part of them that analyses information, and would normally prevent it from going in. Now, before you turn onto CD4, I’m going to encourage you to go through the exercises on this CD, and really mastering the foundations of hypnotic language, because it’s so important to the rest of your work. Then, as soon as you’re ready, pop in CD4, and I look forward to seeing you again on ‘The Authority Strategy: Tactics to Ensure Success’. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 105 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD4 The Authority Strategy – Tactics to ensure success Track 01 – 1m29s Welcome Welcome to CD4: The Authority Strategy – Tactics to ensure success. On this CD we’ll be covering the most powerful strategies, that hypnotists have been using throughout the ages, in order to influence and persuade the people around them. Inside of these tactics you’ll find all the principles you’ll need in order to influence people around you, so that they get to have more enjoyable lives, and you get more the things that you want too. As we go through these powerful tactics together, I’d like you to ask yourself how you can begin to combine them with all the things you’ve learnt already. Out of these powerful tactics, combined with the hypnotic language foundations that you’ve been diligently rehearsing so far, as well as the rapport skills, and the signal recognition skills that you learnt on the second CD – Because as you do this, the skill of Conversational Hypnosis comes from synthesising all of your own experiences, all your understandings together, in one complete whole. So whilst you’re learning each of these skills, piece by piece, I’m going to encourage you to start putting them together into ever more complex and sophisticated patterns, the more you’ll learn and develop your own skills. Now, without any further ado, let’s go into learning Conversational Hypnosis. Track 02 – 5m28s Power tactics So the first set of principles that we’d like to examine here is this idea of ‘power tactics’. Now, by power tactics, I mean the tactics that allow you to become a figure of authority – a figure of high status – within whatever group you happen to be inside of. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 106 Power Tactic 1: High Status Now, let’s talk a little bit about authority and high status. Because it seems that, in today’s terms, these have become very loaded, slightly ‘unpleasant’ terms. Now the way I’d like you to use both the words ‘authority’ and ‘high status’ is as something which has no moral judgement to them whatsoever. Being high status or low status can be equally good, depending on the circumstances in which you choose to adopt one role than the other. And by the way, that word is key. These are roles that you’ll be playing. Each role has a certain effect on other people. And as long as you’re aware of what effect each role has, then you can choose the right role, given the individuals that you happen to be interacting with. And this is what gives you the ultimate in flexibility. Now the reason that I don’t really think that you can judge these roles as being particularly good or particularly bad, is partly because, at some level, we are all mammals. And as mammals, we will all organise ourselves into hierarchy at an unconscious level. Now even so-called ‘flat structures’ - where every member of the group seems or feels to be equal to everyone else – even these groups will have an unconscious hierarchy to which people will respond to. It’s a part of being a human being. Now, because a lot of groups will allow this to happen unconsciously, it means that sometimes the wrong leaders end up taking over a particular group. And unpleasant messages can really enter into a particular environment, or particular culture. Your role as a hypnotist is to enter the position of a high status individual, an authority figure, that other people can believe in and whose advice people want to follow. It will create a tremendous amount of power, and augment the power of your own suggestions. Now, at the same time as augmenting your suggestions as an authority figure, there will be times that you’ll want to change your status to a low status. Why might that be? Well, let’s take a few examples: Perhaps the individual that you are dealing with right now has a dislike of authority figures. Maybe they find them threatening in some way, and don’t like to hang around them. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 107 So that, with these individuals, to open them up – to help find the things inside themselves they need to find – you may well want to adopt a low status role until they feel comfortable with you. Let’s give you a practical example of this. Let’s say you’re a salesperson at a car showroom dealership. Now, there will be a time when you want to take a sort of high status role, and tell people about how amazing these cars are, and why these cars are exactly the right car for the individual in question. However, sometimes someone will come in and they really don’t like to be told what to do and when to do it. With these people you’re far better off playing a low status role, and really allowing them to have a sense of, ‘well, I’m making up my own mind as I go along with this’. And, as a low status individual, you can feed information and set frames that people will respond to very powerfully. Now, what do I mean by ‘setting frames’? That’s a topic for one of the later CDs. For the moment, when we talk about your authority, your high status role, we’re going to talk about really two things in particular: • • your body language and your behaviour (as well as your tonalities) will all impact how you get perceived by other people. They will signal to people what status you happen to be. Now, in the next session, we’ll going to look at the signals which allow you to show to people that you’re a high status individual – which will mean that they will respond to your suggestions more powerfully. Always with a caveat: that when you discover the situation in which it’s more useful to be low status, you just switch these signals around, for as long as you need to, in order to get the person on your side. Because then you’ll see what will happen is you have the ultimate in flexibility. Because sometimes, with the same person, you’ll play a high status role, and sometimes a low status role. So that consciously they perceive you as a more safe and non-threatening low status individual – whilst unconsciously they’ll respond to you as an authority figure; but without any of the resistance that would normally be present if they were faced with a high status individual. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 108 So this is a very, very powerful tactic in order to really get through someone’s resistance, and inside their mind. Track 03 – 8m24s Power tactics – continued… How To Become High Status So how do you become a high status individual? How do you signal all the right signals so that other people respond to you as though you were a figure of authority in their particular world? Well, cast your mind back to your school days… Now, if you were like most school children in your school days, you’ll have realised there were 3 different types of teachers: The first kind was far too soft. He’s the one who had no control of the children, and the children would basically just run riot. The second kind was far too hard; almost harsh with the children. And whilst he may have better discipline in his classroom, there is really no love lost between them, and people did things more out of fear than out of desire. And there was very little respect there as well. It’s the final kind of teacher – the rarest kind – that I’m really most interested in. Because like Goldilocks, his style was a perfect blend, or a perfect combination, between too soft and too hard. He was just right. As a rule, these teachers had a relaxed, easy manner about them. They had a really easy sense of self, and were comfortable in their own skin. And other people responded to them in that way. Now they may well have had just as powerful, if not better discipline in their classroom, as the harsh people. But the difference is this time the children really respected and admired the teachers. They actually really wanted to listen when this teacher spoke. That’s the kind of individual I’d like you to become. In order to do this there are certain characteristics of high status that you really need to adopt and make part of your own physiology, your own behaviour. Now I’m going to run through this list with you in a moment, but bear in mind that, as you practice this particular list, at the end of this CD there’ll be one of the exercises which will be an ‘instant power meditation’; that should help you get into these kind of behaviour patterns more easily. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 109 [Instant Power Meditation is on CD 4 Exercise 2] High Status Signal 1: Calm Movements Now, what are these behaviours of high status individuals? Well, all behaviours are characterised by a sense of calmness and a sense of unhurried purpose. Whenever you move calmly and with relaxation, people respond to you like you’re in control, you know what you’re doing. When your speech patterns are unhurried, have pauses, people become more interested in what might be coming right after any particular pause. Now think about it, who has the courage to pause in the middle of a statement? Is it people who are nervous, and kind of just tense, and they don’t really know what they’re doing? Or is it the people who are calm and in control? So, the first thing you have to realise is, in order to signal higher status, you need calm, unhurried movements, and calm, unhurried speech. Because really, what these allow you to do is to avoid signals of being nervous. What are these signals that people typically make when they’re nervous? Well, they’ll make ‘jerky’ movements, they’ll jump around a lot – their attention will jump from one place to another. They’ll be making repetitive motions, like ‘hand washing’, like maybe rubbing their leg – some kind of tick of some sort. They’ll also be using linguistic markers, like “..ummm..” and “..right..” and “…ok..”. If, for example, I carried on talking to you, right, and, every time, right, I said something, right, ummm, ok, ummm, well, ummm, right, well, you know, ummmm, right… Do you notice how that already begins to erode your faith in what I’m saying. These are just basically signals saying I’m less confident, and therefore I’m not in charge of the situation. Now, when I say this, I’d like you also to be aware of avoiding becoming overresponsive. What do I mean by being ‘over-responsive’? Well, sometimes people try to over-compensate for being nervous on the inside, by trying to over-accentuate the signals of dominance on the outside. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 110 And, typically, you’ll see teenagers doing this. Teenagers will often be very sullen, or slow to respond. And there’s a real difference between being slow to respond something, and being reflective – taking your time to respond to something. It’s really in the attitude that you carry with yourself. High Status Signal 2: Use Of Space Now, one of the key distinguishers is the way that you use space. Now, people who tend to be nervous will use very little space; they’ll try and make themselves almost non-existent in the world. They’ll tend to cross arms and legs, just because it gets them out of people’s ways. They’ll sit very quietly in the corner on a chair or something. People who are confident and in control will use their space widely. Their hand gestures will be large, although not excessively so. They might sit down, maybe even relax back on a couch or a chair. Or when they’re standing, they’ll be willing to invade other people’s personal space from time to time. Now, when you’re seeing teenagers responding sullenly and slowly, or being sprawled on a park bench, taking up about 5 different seats up, all by themselves – that’s really more an example of over-compensation. Because the teenager feels insecure inside himself, but wants to act the role of a high status individual, they tend to go way overboard, and take these signals and over-accentuate them. That’s the thing to avoid. Remember, the people who are high status will be very comfortable in their own skin, and do these things to a very natural degree. So become an observer of people. And be aware that from time to time you may well go too far. At which point just reign it in a little bit. Now, the last two characteristics of personal power that I’d like to share with you: High Status Signal 3: Expose Vulnerable Parts The first one is this use of personal body space, or what you open up. We are mammals, and mammals will instinctively protect three areas when attacked; their throat, their belly, and their groin. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 111 And this is because these areas are the softest and most vulnerable to attack. They will suffer the greatest amount of damage most easily. Now, even though we live in a different age, even when we get a verbal attack, we will unconsciously protect these three areas. It’s partly hardwired into our system. So, people who are very high status – very comfortable in their own skin – who are in control of their own environment, these people will tend to expose those very same three potential targets. Because what they’re unconsciously signalling to the world is, ‘I’m so comfortable, I am so safe in this environment, I’m so in control, that I can expose these vulnerable sections, because there is no attack coming’. High Status Signal 4: Steady Eye Contact The final characteristic is something you might well be familiar with. There’s an old saying that “the eyes are the windows to the soul”. I’m not sure about that, but I know that they’re definitely the windows to people’s minds and mental states. You see, when someone’s very nervous, you’ll notice that their eyes will dart all over the place. It’s very difficult for them to keep their eyes still. This is because the eyes are neurologically connected to the brain, and the way that the brain is operating. So people who are high status – who are calm, confident, and in control – will tend to have very steady gazes. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to make and lock eye contact; although that’s a useful trait, it’s not necessarily one that you have to comply with. But you will need to make sure that your eyes are constantly focused on something, and aren’t jumping from one focal point to another in a hurried, frantic sort of way. Keep your eye movements still, and slow. The rule of thumb is: ‘a still mind will translate into a still body’. And a still mind is the characteristic of a high status, authority figure, and that’s how you convey your personal power. Track 04 – 5m30s © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 112 Power tactics – continued… Power Tactic 2: The Consistency Principle So, now you know how to create the general background, so that people perceive you as being a more high status individual. But there’s still a question: How do you create that instantly? How do you really make people believe in you as a figure of authority in their particular world, in a very short period of time? Now this is an important principle, because it activates another principle called the ‘consistency principle’. The Consistency Principle says this: When someone makes a declaration in public, of a certain thing, then they have to act in a manner that remains consistent with whatever it is they said. Now, a nice thing that people don’t know about is that the higher your authority – the higher you status is – the more pressure it puts on someone else to remain consistent with anything they’ve said in the past. This will be very important to you. For example, when someone says to you that they want to make a certain change, the higher your level of authority is, the more likely it is they will maintain that change, once you’ve gone through a process with them. When someone says they want to buy a car from you, it’s less likely that they will change their mind if you have a higher status when they made that declaration in the first place. Now, how do you really get people to believe in you, in your abilities if you like, so that they can respond to you in a more hypnotic way more quickly? One thing is the characteristics we’ve already covered. Consistency Tactic: Demonstrate Authority But this other thing is something that has been a secret tool of hypnotists throughout the ages. In the past it was known as ‘suggestibility tests’. A suggestibility test is basically a quick hypnotic exercise, ostensibly to find out whether or not you’re hypnotizable. Now, I happen to believe that everyone is hypnotizable. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 113 And these tests dont test so much people’s ability to go into trance, but their willingness to go in that point in time, and the right way to go about it. Because different people respond to different types of suggestions. Now, the secret power behind suggestibility tests isn’t whether or not someone is particularly hypnotizable. It is because, when they work, it actually provides a tremendous amount of authority towards the hypnotist. Suddenly he’s an expert at something; and as soon as someone seems to be a real expert at something, we seem to believe that they’re experts at everything. It’s a very natural trait. Now I first discovered this when I was at a party, and other people were doing their party pieces. I decided to show them a few quick mind games or order to just, you know, show them something interesting about how the mind works. Now what I wasn’t expecting was the result people gave me. I had people queuing up, telling me their problems, from they couldn’t sleep, to wanting to stop smoking, to relationship issues – everything imaginable under the sun. When, up to half an hour before that, they would ask me, you know, ‘what do you do?’, and I’d said that I was a hypnotist; and they really weren’t paying attention to me. So what changed? What changed was very simple. I’d had a few quick mind games, very visual demonstrations, of the mind in action – of hypnosis in action – and suddenly they became converts. They became ‘believers’ in what could be possible for them. Now, people had discovered this throughout the ages. Whenever you see someone trotting out a particular party piece, whether it’s playing the piano, singing a song, telling a story, a little magic act – no matter what this party piece is – they’ve discovered that, when you become the focal point of attention, when you invite that to you (in other words you invite social pressure on yourself). You’re really adopting the role of a leader for that particular group. And people respond to you as a leader at that point, as an authority figure. So, this is a secret hidden benefit of doing party pieces. If these party pieces happen to be in a particular field or environment – for example, if you go to academics and start talking about books of Shakespeare, or perhaps the old classic great books of Aristotle and Plato etc. – suddenly you’ve demonstrated that you know something which very few other people currently know about. And that lifts your own status. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 114 So the pieces need to somehow fit the situation that you’re in. I’m going to leave you to really figure out what works for you as an individual. If you’re a good singer then sing. If you play the piano then play the piano. For those of you who want to have more hypnotic value demonstrations, I recommend you get my book The Deep Trance Training Manual, in which you’ll find about a half-dozen or so hypnotic suggestibility tests that you can use in pretty much any setting. [You can find it on Amazon.com ISBN 1 8998 3697 7] They’re just little things you can use, based on the imagination. Then we’ll be launching something called The Mind Games Pack in the middle of 2006. [This is now available from www.MindGameMagic.com ISBN 1 4276 0125 9] And this is a very exciting product because it’s basically a series of value demonstrations, all based around how the brain works, how the mind works, and how hypnosis works. There’ll be imagination exercises, personality tests – all these things in a small pack of cards you can carry around wherever you happen to go. If you are interested in those, just email us and we’ll let you know more about them. Track 05 – 3m41s Agreement tactics So the next set of principles we’ll be talking about are all about ‘agreement tactics’. Now agreement is a very important principle because it allows us to bypass something called the critical factor. What do I mean by the ‘critical factor’? Well, every mind has, if you like, a guardian that guards the gate which guards the information that comes inside the mind and influences it. We’ll call this the critical factor because it analyses and criticises information. Essentially what it does is it looks for information that conforms to its own view of reality and how the world ‘should’ work, and only lets that through. Now, sometimes that can be a problem because is actually prevents change from occurring. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 115 So when people though that the earth was flat, as soon as someone started suggesting that the earth is round, at first they started criticising it. Then they got very angry about it and upset about it. Eventually they threatened to burn people over this. It wasn’t until many generations later, until new people came along who hadn’t built a critical factor yet that included a flat world, that it actually got accepted as a valid theory. Now, as hypnotists, it’s our job to bypass the critical factor so that we can present information and have it evaluated as though it was a plausible and possible new future. Then, when the mind accepts it, it makes it easier to create new realities in which good things can happen. And agreement is the first step in this direction. Why agreement? Well, agreement really lulls the guard to sleep. Imagine that you were guarding the door to a very important place. And every time you checked someone over, your role was to find maybe dangerous items, like knives or guns hidden on them. And if every person you met was very open, and yep, there’s nothing here, there’s nothing here, there’s nothing here… then your mind slowly starts being lulled to sleep. In other words you begin to drift away from your main task. Because, what really keeps people ‘on point’ is when they are noticing differences happening. So, the agreement begins to lull the critical factor to sleep. It makes it easier to start bringing in more and more suggestions, which may or may not be something they would normally have agreed with. The access state principle The way I’d like you to conceptualise this is to imagine the mind as two rooms: we have an agreement room, and a disagreement room. In the room where they agree – where they say ‘yes’- the whole neurology that gets lit up is that part of the brain that likes to say ‘yes’; that makes saying ‘yes’ easy: that finds agreement, that finds harmony in things. So whatever new information gets presented, the brain tries to harmonise with the same information. That’s what that room does. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 116 Now if you’re in the other room, the critical room – the ‘no’ room, the disagreement room – the mind begins to look for distinctions, things that are different. That’s what critique really means; it’s to critically analyse, to find differences in a particular kind of performance. And so the mind begins to look for reasons disagreeing with things, for rejecting things, for find the contrasts. And it might well throw out the baby with the bathwater along the way. So one of the powerful tactics you can do is called ‘the agreement tactic’: make sure they firmly sit in the agreement room, and begin to open their neurology of saying ‘yes’ and agreeing to you. How we do that will be the subject of the very next track. Track 06 – 3m20s Agreement tactics – continued… So let’s look at the actual ‘agreement tactics’ themselves. We’re going to be focusing on 4 particular tactics, which will allow you to build this agreement factor inside someone’s mind. The 4 tactics are called ‘plausibility’, ‘the agreement habit’, ‘yes-sets’ and ‘piggy-backing suggestions’. And these will allow you to open the ‘yes’ part of the mind , to get people agreeing to you. Agreement Tactic 1: Plausibility Let’s look at the first one: plausibility. Now, whenever someone’s in the habit of agreeing with you already, then, the next thing that you say to them doesn’t have to be something that they necessarily will find as true. It’s enough that it’s plausible, and they will tend to go along with it, because it allows them to carry on with this general flow of things. Now, plausibility is actually a sliding scale. It’s a bit like one of those lights that you can turn the knob on to make the lights either brighter or dimmer; neither having to switch them completely off or completely on. And plausibility works in the same way. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 117 You see, the more the critical factor is ‘online’ – and you can tell this by the way that they critically analyse information and ask questions, or even just plain old disagree with you – so the more the critical factor is online, the more plausible your suggestions have to be. The less the critical factor is online – in other words, the more it goes to sleep – the more implausible your suggestions can be. Finally, when someone is in a full state of trance, the plausibility of a suggestion can be virtually zero, and it will still be accepted as something of a potential truth. Now let me give you an example of something I mean by that. If I was to invite you to go on a journey on a beach, you could imagine the seaside, and the seagulls flying around. You could possibly imagine the sand on the beach around you. Because these are all things that are plausible and sit within that scene. Now, if I ask you turn over and look on one side, and see a rhinoceros standing there… you should be shocked out of this reality by bringing in an implausible and improbable thing onto that beach scene. Now the fact is, and we’ll do this in a moment’s time, if I make some more hypnotic description, the rhinoceros will seem to fit into the seaside scene because it’s only been introduced after the critical factor’s gone to sleep to some extent. So it’s very important to use your signal recognition skills to find out how awake is that person’s critical factor. Now the person may still be totally awake, it’s just the critical factor, that overconscious analysation, that we’re interested in at this point. And the more it goes to sleep, the more improbable and implausible your suggestions can be. So let’s see if we can introduce something as implausible as a rhinoceros on a beach whilst still maintaining this sort of hypnotic or general agreement frame. Hypnotic Warning Now for this next example, I’m going to be using some hypnotic communication. So therefore, if you’re driving a car or operating any kind of machinery, by now you should know the drill: Stop whatever you’re doing, and don’t play the next track until you’re ready to focus all of your attention comfortably and safely on that particular track. Track 07 – 2m47s © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 118 Hypnotic example (plausibility tactic) For this demonstration I’d like you to go ahead, and close your eyes. Just sit back and relax comfortably, so you can focus all of your attention on your memory, and of your inside world. Because everyone has had the experience of going to some kind of beach or seaside scene. It may be a beach by the sea, or it might be one by a like. It might even be one by a river. Whichever one you experience, you’ll know that, in a particular kind of seaside, like the one by the sea, you’ll find things like sand and water. You’ll find some kind of birds around. Now I don’t know if you can imagine that now. Hearing the sound of perhaps the sea rolling in towards you. And feeling the comfort, in the steady rhythm, of nature playing around. Up above you can hear the sound of a seagull. And as you look, you might see it just swinging by, as the sun glints off the ocean itself. Perhaps you’re able to look down and, notice the texture of the sand. Perhaps your feet are in the sand, and you can look over to the ocean itself, hearing the rising and the falling of each wave. Knowing that anything is possible. Because as you look over there, a seagull can be landing on the water, and coming into shore. Seagulls can be walking on the actual beach. And one particular seagull may begin to transform, changing its shape, growing larger, somehow greyer. And as it comes closer towards you, you notice its beak becoming longer, into horns and a nose. And already you now what is coming… Allowing the rhinoceros to stand on the beach only as quickly as you can feel the comfort of the waves. Moving in and out; all in a gentle rhythm. And some of you may want to go over, and actually pat the rhinoceros. And notice how he seems to fit inside this scene, now that he’s been brought in one step at a time. And so you can realise that, in hypnosis, anything is possible provided you introduce it at the right pace; and that the critical factor is allowed to be lulled off into a more quiet sense of sleep. So that it doesn’t interfere in the process of learning and growth. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 119 Now, as soon as you’re ready, I’d like you to just go back, and open your eyes, feeling refreshed, relaxed, alert, and simply fantastic. Ready to go onto the next track, and keep learning Conversational Hypnosis. Track 08 – 3m55s Agreement tactics – continued… Agreement Tactic 2: The Agreement Habit The next ‘agreement tactic’ to focus on is ‘the agreement habit’: Now the agreement habit is based on a principle called ‘Going First’. What I mean by going first is, as a hypnotist, you create realities for other people to jump into and share with you. Now it’s very difficult to get someone to buy into a reality that you yourself don’t believe in yet, because all of your sub-communication will be contrary to what I mean. Now I’ll give you an example of this. Let’s say you want to motivate someone and get someone excited about a particular event. But you yourself happen to be depressed. Do you think that it’s going to be easy to get that person motivated? Probably not. Why? Because our own state – our own internal actions – will affect other people as well. Likewise in the agreement habit, you want to be leading the way first. You want to be leading the way that other people can follow, so that it sets the pattern that they will respond to as well. The tactic is actually very simple. Inside your mind, and externally in your behaviour, begin agreeing with the other person. Now, initially it might not be with whatever they say, but we’ll want to refine that a little bit more. You can wait to the exercise section to actually build the skill itself, one piece at a time. The Agreement Habit Principle: Positive Reinforcement © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 120 But the actual principle is to do with positive reinforcement and distinction. Now think of the way you interact with someone as putting energy into them. Any time you put energy into something, it actually begins to grow. It’s like watering a plant. Now, the thing that people don’t realise is, that even negative energy can sometimes continue to make something grow. So sometimes criticism will continue to accentuate the very behaviour being criticised; therefore it can become very counterproductive. That’s not always the case. But it’s the case far too often. Now a solution to this – and this is the agreement habit – is what’s called positive reinforcement. You actually… let’s say that someone is presenting information to you, is talking about a certain topic. And you only agree with half of what they are saying. With the agreement habit all you’re going to do is actually provide some kind of stimulus, some kind of agreement, whenever they say something you actually agree with. Let’s say they give you a list of 6 things. Let’s say they think that: 1. people are good, 2. are kind, 3. are clever. They also think that people can: 4. steal too much, 5. are untrustworthy, and 6. are lazy. Now, when they present the things that you agree with – for example, that they’re good, that they’re kind – you may actually find yourself agreeing with them, ‘yes, I agree’. It’s as simple as that; or smiling and nodding as they go along. Now the key is this: When they begin to introduce information that you disagree with – that they steal too much, they’re untrustworthy – at that point you do nothing. You don’t criticise it, you don’t frown, you don’t have an emotional reaction to it. You almost pretend it was never said at all. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 121 What this tends to do over time is it builds through positive reinforcement by ‘watering’ only the positive things that you begin to agree with. It makes them actually say more of those things. And it casually, and very unconsciously, cuts out all the things for you to disagree with. Now, the principle goes beyond that. Because it’s a very, very powerful way to get people to actually continue to agree with you, because all that they are consciously registering is agreement. And remember, ‘agreement’ is what sends the critical factor to sleep. So you’re making a lot of things happen at the same time. They’re beginning to unconsciously only present information you’re agreeing with; the critical factor goes to sleep; it sets a pattern of agreement that they begin to follow; so it’s a very, very powerful tactic. How do you actually get into that? Well, wait for the exercise section to actually give you some exercises to build this very important skill. Track 09 – 3m09s Agreement tactics – continued… Agreement Tactic 3: The Yes Set The next principle is something that many of you may be familiar with. It’s called a ‘yes-set’. In sales it’s often called a yes-ladder. Remember that, whenever someone starts agreeing with you, they’re more likely to continue agreeing with you, because you’re activating the agreement part of their neurology. A way that you can use this is to begin making statements that people must agree with, because they’re simple facts of life. They’re simple truths. What kind of statements can you use for a ‘yes-set’? Well, typically anything that’s true, but, because we’re doing Conversational Hypnosis here, we want to use items that will fit the context that you’re talking about. Yes Set Number 1: Repeat What They Say © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 122 For example, as a therapist, I would often start off by making general statements that are true about a client. For example: “You’ve come here from this part of town. You’re here to resolve a certain problem. This problem is something you’ve dealt with a long time and now it’s time for you to stop it.” Think about this. I have made a whole bunch of statements which are true. Why? Because they’ve told me that they are true. And it almost seems like I’m kind of rapport-building, or just kind of getting my own ideas clear in my own head. The same can be true of a salesman. For example, a salesman can use a ‘yes ladder’ by saying, “Well, you’re looking for a car that’s fast and economical, has 4 doors so you can bring your family in, has got a big boot, but it still has a sporty-ness to it.” Think about what you’ve just said there. You’ve made all these comments - which seems to just be a summary of what someone else has asked you for – so they will be agreeing with it anyway; they’ll be interested in hearing it. But more importantly, you’re beginning to activate their ‘yes’ neurology; their agreement neurology. So it’s a very, very important principle to be using here. Yes Set Number 2: State Obvious Facts What are other ways to be using ‘yes-sets’? Well, ‘yes-sets’ can be as simple as making comments, for example, “You’re wearing shoes, you’re wearing a shirt”. So this is things that are verifiable and true, although a little strange unless you set the context up right. Yes Set Number 3: Make Truisms Other ‘yes-sets’ however, are a little bit more devious. They’re what we call ‘truisms’. A ‘truism’ is something that everyone tends to agree with as a way of looking at the world. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 123 The old sayings like, ‘a stitch in time saves nine’, ‘better late than never’, ‘better safe than sorry’. These are all truisms. These are all things that people are culturally conditioned and tend to agree with. Now, anything can be a truism provided it fits into the cultural context that you’re with. So, for example, sports fans will have certain truisms about their particular sport. People in business will have certain truisms about their business. For example, ‘you know, it’s about profit, about bottom line’, ‘it’s about making sure your people can deliver’. Now all of these things can be used as a ‘yes-set’. If you want to see some ‘yes-sets’ in action, go back to CD1, to the 2 examples that we presented to you there. Because it’s something that is relied upon very, very heavily in Conversational Hypnosis because it’s such a powerful part of what you do. Track 10 – 3m43s Agreement tactics – continued… Agreement Tactic 4: The Piggy Back Principle The final principle in the agreement tactics is what I call ‘the piggy-back principle’: ‘Piggy-backing suggestions’ is a very powerful way of attaching a suggestion to something else, which is already going inside. Imagine you’re trying to fool the guard of the gate to bring something inside the castle grounds. One way to do this would be to hide whatever it is you want to bring inside, inside a cart of normal goods, like turnips, which the guard would normally let come through anyway. So, ‘piggy-backing’ works in the same way. All you need to do is to create some kind of context that people will want to accept • • • perhaps a compliment, perhaps a ‘yes-set’, perhaps an agreement habit, or © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 124 • perhaps just following the train of thought that someone’s already been following – and, at the end of it, you attach your suggestion. Hypnotists have been using this throughout time, by attaching one suggestion to something that’s going to happen anyway. Piggy Back Suggestion Example 1 I’ll give you an example. A way of piggy-backing a suggestion might be to say, “In a moment you’re going to blink. And as soon as you blink, you’ll find yourself learning at an unconscious level” Now, think about what that means, what I’ve just done. By saying that in a moment you’re going to blink, well guess what? If you’re human, and you’re alive, and you’re awake, chances are at some point you will blink. Now, as soon as I’ve established this as something, he can think ‘oh wow, he suggested that’, and I attach the next suggestion to it – which is ‘that you will learn at the unconscious level’ – the very fact that you’re blinking means that at some level you’ve accepted the second part of the suggestion. This is not, of course, foolproof, but it’s part of what makes the beautiful latticework of powerful, hypnotic suggestions. The more you can layer these things together, the more powerful these suggestions actually end up becoming. Piggy Back Suggestion Example 2 So, for piggy-backing, actually you can put a piggy-back suggestion at the end of a ‘yes-set’, you can take a process that’s going to occur anyway. For example, ‘when you make yourself a coffee, make sure you close the kitchen door on your way out’ the making coffee segment is something that the person’s on the way to do anyway. Closing the kitchen door, that you’ve piggy-backed onto the back of it, is more likely to be accepted because it moves right back in within it. Piggy Back Suggestion Example 4 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 125 Another classic example of using piggy-back suggestions is a way of presenting feedback in an elegant way that’s actually safe AND will actually have the other person accepting it. And typically it starts with a positive reinforcement. For example, let’s say you’re a boss and you have an appraisal meeting, where you have to give some feedback to someone to maybe be a bit friendlier and smile more in the office. You may begin with a ‘yes-set’ and some compliments, along the lines of: “Well Bob, you’re a hard worker. You’ve been doing a lot of good things this year, and to be honest with you, the quality of your work is outstanding. I could not ask for anything better. “Now, as soon as you start smiling a little bit more, and being friendly around the office, you’re going to create the kind of environment that other people will really enjoy being with. So you’ll have the best of both worlds. You’ll be not only highly intellectually capable, but you’ll also be creating the kind of office that we all want to have around here.” Now, think about what we created there. We’ve used the compliments of the intellect and his working abilities, things he’s already doing, to piggy-back the suggestion – which is the improvement section: how to continue smiling and creating a more interesting environment. And because he’s more likely to accept the compliments, he can’t swallow the compliment without the piggy-back suggestion. If you like to think of it this way, it’s like sugar-coating the pill, which will allow the medicine to go down itself. Track 11 – 52s Persistence tactics Let’s examine the ‘persistence tactics’ now. Most people realise that, whether you’re in business, in love, education, in any endeavour, it’s really the most persistent that are the most successful. But why is that? Well, it’s a law of the mind that persistence will ingrain the most deep channels inside of you, which will make the biggest differences. So persistence is a way of creating ideas, which become really powerful inside someone else. It’s also a way of eroding any persons’ resistance to the point where, suddenly, they are open to understanding or seeing things in new ways. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 126 The 4 persistence tactics that we’re going to talk about here are things that you can use quickly and easily, inside any conversation, and continue using throughout your lifetime, for greater influence and persuasion. Track 12 – 1m36s Persistence tactics – continued… Persistence Tactic 1: The Hypnotic Triple The first persistence tactic is known as ‘the hypnotic triple’. As anyone who’s tried to memorise a poem, or a shopping list, knows, repetition tends to sink inside the mind. It’s one of the ways the unconscious acquires new learnings. Now there are easier ways, but as a rule of thumb, whenever you’re presenting a suggestion to someone, you want to create a ‘triple effect’ – so you layer it in, piece after piece, over and over again. Because that repetition creates reinforcement, which creates the reality at the end. Now, you can use this in conjunction with your hypnotic language, which you’ve already built in the last CD, in order to create something very elegant. Let’s have an example of this in action: Let’s say you’re a car salesman, and you want someone to buy a car. One way to use your language, to embed the suggestion of buying the car, might be something like: “So, you’ve seen the car that you want to buy, and before you buy this car, I’d like to run a few things by you first. And that’s just to say that this is the car that you actually want to buy, because when you walk out this door with the car, I want to make sure that it’s the right choice – and that you know that you’ve chosen the right car to buy today. Would that be okay with you?” Notice how many times I’ve actually used the idea of buying something, and I’ve actually used the suggestion of buying this particular car in that very short phrase. And it seems totally reasonable, because it seems I want to be checking through to make sure that he’s making the right choice. The idea, however, still sinks in. It still goes through. Track 13 – 4m21s © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 127 Persistence tactics – continued… Persistence Tactic 2: Seeding Hypnotic Ideas The next principle is incredibly powerful and incredibly subtle. This has come from the great hypnotist Milton Erickson, who used this with great success in his therapy. It’s called ‘the seeding of ideas’. What do we mean by seeding an idea? Well, in the same way that a gardener would take a seed and plant it in the ground, and then water it and nurture it, and allow it to grow by itself, so an idea can be planted inside someone’s mind – which you come back to time and time again, slowly nurturing it and growing it, until it becomes a fully-fledged suggestion. This is particularly useful at such times when the actual suggestion itself, the fully-fledged suggestion, would be too far out someone’s comfort zone or reality or way of currently thinking, that they would reject it automatically as a selfprotection mechanism. I’ll give you a therapeutic example of this form Milton Erickson’s own case history. A lady came to him who had difficulty entering sexual relations with a partner. She had been brought up in a very religious household, where her mother had kept making remarks about how dirty sex is and how bad it is. Now unfortunately she had lost her mother while she was still a very young girl. So it was really difficult to redress the balance there. Now, Erickson did something very interesting. In the first induction, the first trance experience, amongst other things, one of the things he said just shortly before waking her up, almost in passing, was to say something along the lines of, “I wonder what other things your mother would have taught you had she still been around.” And that was it. A few sessions later, again in the middle of a therapeutic trance, he made a comment along the lines of, “Isn’t it a shame that your mother never finished your education?” Of course, already, the wheels are beginning to turn. Something is happening. Somehow the idea has been implanted, that whatever her mother was saying was an unfinished piece of work. These suggestions were built on, over time, to the point where he could make a suggestion along the lines of, © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 128 “Well, the kind of things that are appropriate for a 10-year-old girl to know are not the same thing that a 25-year-old woman needs to live by. Because you’re a different person. And therefore you can live by different rules.” And slowly but surely he teased, from this tiny little seed (“I wonder what else your mother would have taught you”), he created the situation in which the woman could address her sexuality and be okay with having sex with a partner. After all, her mother did, otherwise she would never have been born herself. So how do we turn this into a practical application, outside of a therapeutic context? Well, let’s say for example that you want your boss to give you a raise. Now, going into the office and saying, “I demand a raise, I’m worth it,” may work in some cases, it may not work in others. But to implant the idea in his mind, and then carefully nurture this seed over a period of time, will create the kind of ground, the kind of conditions, in which he’ll be more likely to accept your request when you actually make it. So how might you do it? Well, one example might be going in, and casually mentioning in a normal conversation, how another person in another company, in a similar sort of position, just got an interesting pay raise. But then instantly distract attention – and we’ll come back to this principle in a later section. You don’t want him analysing it. You just want the seed to be placed inside there, to begin to grow in the back of his mind. A few days later, again in a casual passing, you may compliment the company, or the director, on how insightful it was for him to create this position in the first place, because it had become more important over time. Bit by bit, you build your argument for a raise, in this very casual manner, without really drawing too much attention to it. Because you don’t want him to reject it out of hand. You just want all these pieces to float in the back of his mind. At a certain point in time the dots begin to get joined up. And typically, when you then go and ask for the raise, all the positions are in place to make it the most likely thing for him to say ‘yes’. Track 14 – 4m23s © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 129 Persistence tactics – continued… Persistence Tactic 3: The Law Of Successive Approximations The next principle is called ‘the law of successive approximations’. What that really means is basically using the ‘salami tactic’. If you want to someone to have a particularly large outcome, or do a particularly large activity, you need to break that down into steps along the way, to make the transition easy for them to do. The way this was discovered was by hypnotists who wanted to recreate big hypnotic phenomena, for example, a hallucination. Now, before someone is ready to hallucinate a dog sitting in front of them that never was really there, they need to build up to that hallucination one piece at a time, otherwise it may be too startling a change to go from nothing. While some people can go from nothing straight to the full thing, others will be built up step by step. So, for example, they might get comfortable with the idea of a dog. Maybe they’ll hear the dog at first. Maybe they’ll feel it brushing against their leg. Maybe they’ll kind of pet it and have a sense of ‘it’s there’. Then when they open their eyes, bit by bit the idea of a dog has been built up inside their mind, so they can have a full-blown visual hallucination of a dog sitting by their feet. And everything else seems to match. Now, how do you use this in a conversational setting? Now, hallucinating dogs is probably not something you want to get people to do on a random day-to-day basis. It’s not very useful. However, you can use this principle to get behaviours out of people that otherwise would seem almost impossible. An example of this is from a charity worker I know. This was a fundraiser who could get the biggest cheques from donors that in the past would give almost nothing. And one day, when the person was asked, “How do you do this?” She replied, “Well, the first thing to do is to get someone to respond to a very simple, but reasonable request. For example, it might be as simple as doing a 5© Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 130 minute task for the charity, like writing a letter or looking through a letter, and give their approval of something. Then, a few days later, you might ask for something else, which would be just that little bit more. Maybe to re-write the letter a little bit because it wasn’t quite right. Step by step, you ask every time just a little bit more, and for a little bit more. So, the sooner you think, they’re giving you cheques for a thousand dollars, ten-thousand dollars, fifty-thousand dollars. Because, it just seems a natural transition from what they did in the previous step.” Now, you can use this principle together with the ‘agreement tactics’ to create something very, very powerful. You see, you take people by the hand one step at a time. Making sure that each step is just a little bit further along than the one before. Then, if at any stage you lose contact with them – let’s say you’ve asked them to take a step that’s just a little bit too large – all you do is you go back to the last point of agreement, and you build another ‘yes-ladder’, another ‘yes-set’. And build that with those behaviours until they’re ready to take that next step. It’s a very simple loop. Agreement, move on, next thing, next thing, next thing. The moment you get disagreement, you go right back to the behaviour or activity that they were okay with, and you go through that a few times until they’re ready to move on. Only this time you may move a slightly smaller amount, to make sure they can follow your lead. I’ll give you another example from a different field. When I was young, and dating girls was a scary thing I didn’t understand, I always found it was difficult to get to the point where you would actually kiss the girl. And part of the reason for that was it was such a big step. You see, all the time we’d be hanging out, talking whatever, I would barely even have touched her because I was afraid to invade her personal space. Then one day I realised that I’m making too large a step, too large a leap. So I made a point of going out on dates, of just casually touching the date on the shoulder, maybe touching her hand. And then on the way back maybe putting her arm in mine, or maybe holding hands. So by the time we’d get to the point of actually kissing, it really wasn’t that big a step; because everything else – the holding hands, the touching – was just part of a natural transition, so that is was a normal step forward. It wasn’t this big shock that came out of nowhere. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 131 So now that you understand the ‘law of successive approximations’, begin to use it everywhere. Just build up people to respond to you, one increment at a time. Track 15 – 1m08s Persistence tactics – continued… Persistence Tactic 4: The Law Of Compounding Effect The final principle in this ‘persistence tactics’ toolkit you’re building, is known as ‘the law of compounding effect’. Now, this law is very similar to the ‘yes-set’. And what it states is that, whenever someone actualises or acts out on a suggestion you’ve given them, they’re more likely to act out the next one – they’ve become more suggestible. So the more you stack suggestions, one on top of the other, the more you ‘piggyback suggestions’ one on top of the other, the more suggestible that person becomes; the more likely it is they’ll carry on responding to you more and more fully each and every time. So, this is another reason for you to use your ‘yes-sets’. Because saying something as simple as, “In a moment you’re going to blink and in a moment you’re going to yawn. In a moment you’re going to take a deep breath in.” – this sets a condition, this is already a suggestion. And even though they’re doing it out of natural breathing rhythms, it begins to chip away any resistance that might be there, so that over time it just becomes natural to respond to your suggestions. It’s a very powerful principle. Use it with all the others. Track 16 – 22s Exercises Okay. So those are the ‘authority strategies’ in action. Let’s turn now to some exercises that you can engage in, in order to build your own authority strategies; to begin to use the tactics of persistence, of agreement, and power, and build them into your normal communication style, for greater success. Track 17 – Ex 1 – 2m04s Exercise 1 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 132 The first exercise I’d like you to engage in, during normal conversations, is to test the power of eye contact, of eye movements. The first thing I want you to do is, in normal conversations, begin to randomly break eye-contact, but do it often. And do it in a very quick, and jerky fashion. And notice how people respond to you. Then, in a different conversation, hold eye-contact completely. In other words, don’t blink, don’t look away, don’t do anything other than lock eye-contact. Now, a word of advice, as you do this, project a sense of comfort, of warmth, of friendship. Use the ‘instant rapport technique’ as you do this, otherwise the stare might become a little bit confrontational. And you definitely don’t want that. Finally, I want you to get used to be able to create what seems like a natural eyecontact, but still is a very strong form of eye-contact. The way to do this is to maintain eye-contact – use your ‘instant rapport technique’ to really project a sense of comfort and friendliness – and when you’ve held eye-contact to the point of slight discomfort, so that it’s a little bit longer than people would normally do it, then feel free to casually look away for a while, and then make eye-contact again. The ‘casually looking away for a while’ takes the pressure off the other person – so that you can continue the conversation as normal. Now here’s a secret. When you take the pressure off someone, you’re literally doing that. You’re creating less response potential. So when you want to use eye-contact as part of a trance induction, you maintain the eye-contact. And when that sort of pressure begins to build up, when people would normally look away, you keep the eye-contact going. Because the only place for a person to retreat away from that pressure will be to retreat into the trance process that you’re actually helping them engage in. It’s a little trick of the trade that very few people talk about. Track 18 – Ex 2 – 1m52s Exercise 2 (the instant power meditation) The next exercise is ‘the instant power meditation’. Now remember, the reason for doing this is to begin to sub-communicate signals of high status and authority. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 133 And every time you have a thought or feeling inside yourself, it leaks out of you – gets sub-communicated unconsciously – by changes in your physiology, in your behaviour etc. It’s very important that you change your inside first, and allow that to express itself naturally on the outside. This is a way that you can go through the checklist of calmness, of pauses, etc. in a very natural sort of way. The meditation is very simple. What I’d like you to do is just find a place, whenever you’re ready, in a quiet place. Close your eyes and breathe deeply, allowing your mind to come to a calm sense of control. Now you may want to visualise a calming scene. You may want to remember times when you’ve been calm and in control in the past. The key of this is to wait until all your mental processes have calmed down to a very clear, a very focused, very calm and tranquil state. Then, at that point, open your eyes and whilst you maintain this state, continue to interact or start interacting with other people. What will happen is, if you get a sense of trying to mentally project that calmness into everything you’re doing – your movements, your tone of voice, your interaction – almost like the ‘instant rapport technique’, try this time projecting friendliness. Project that calmness and sense of authority. It sub-communicates, on many different levels, all the characteristics that are traditionally perceived by others of a strong and authoritative individual. Track 19 – Ex 3 – 2m24s Exercise 3 (mental rehearsal for success) The third exercise is similar to, but different from, the ‘instant power meditation’. This is something I’d like you to do from time to time when you’re on your own, rather than when you actually need to interact with people. You see, a lot of times it’s your expectations of other people’s responses to you that create something called a ‘Pygmalion Effect’: people will actually respond to you in the way that you expect them to. Again, it’s due to very many of your sub-communications – your unconscious expectations which you communicate on an unconscious level through your © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 134 behaviour, your body language, your subtle phrasing of things – and people pick up on, and actually very much respond to in the same sort of way. So, why not rehearse or expect them to treat you in the kind of ways that you want to be treated? So rehearse success. To do this very simply, again, begin as you did for the ‘instant power meditation’, by closing your eyes and finding calmness. Only this time, rather than opening your eyes and engaging other people, and projecting that sense of calmness, what I want you to do is begin to mentally rehearse successful situations. Mentally rehearse people going into trances with you. Mentally rehearse people saying ‘yes’ to you. Responding to you. This is particularly useful, by the way, when you have a sales call to go to, or an important interview. I remember, when I used to be a lawyer, and I went to an interview with the law firm I ended up working for. This was the biggest and the most prestigious law firm in the city of London, and I was very nervous going in. I spent an entire month preparing for this interview. And one of the things that was most helpful was, in my mind’s eye, I would run through the interview in a thousand different ways each time. But every single time the interview went well; I answered the questions well, I handled everything perfectly. And every single time, in my imagination, they offered me the job at the end of this. This conditioned my mind to expect success to such a degree that, when I walked in, I had one of the most pleasant chats I’ve had in any interview. And at the end of it I was unofficially awarded the job. So use ‘the power of mental rehearsal’ for yourself to get all the things you want, and get the expectations that people can actually live up to afterwards. Track 20 – Ex 4 – 1m09s Exercise 4 So for this next exercise we’re going to get into the habit of agreeing with things. Just to notice what happens when agreement begins to be circulated through a conversation. Now make sure you pick your conversations for this. Don’t start doing this whole agreement thing in the middle of a conversation where someone wants to cut your pay rise, or something’s important to you. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 135 Just do this in normal, unimportant conversations, just to notice the effect of ‘the power of agreement’ inside a conversation. And all your going to do is very simple. As you’re talking to people, in this particular conversation which is okay and appropriate to do this, agree with absolutely everything they say. Find as many different ways of agreeing with it, that allow you still to be as subtle as possible. So, for example, • you might just use the classic ‘yes’ and ‘ah ha’. • You may enthuse about certain things. • You may smile and nod you head. • You may touch their body from time to time. Do whatever it takes to signal your agreement with what they’re saying, in as much a variety as possible, whilst still engaging the conversation and adding to it in places. Track 21 – Ex 5 – 1m43s Exercise 5 Okay, the next exercise is all about ‘building the agreement frame’: getting people used to saying ‘yes’ to you. For this exercise, simply in normal everyday conversations, begin to pay attention to what parts of the interaction you actually agree with and you like, and what parts of the interaction you disagree with or you dislike. And all I’m going to have you do is make sure you add some kind of comment – agree with the things you like; smile, nod your head, agree, maybe enthuse about it. Now, when it comes to something that you don’t like – and pick your conversations until you get good at this – when it comes to something you don’t like, do nothing. Don’t say no, don’t frown, don’t feel bad about it - remember, if you have an emotional reaction inside yourself, it will be sub-communicated, which will be the same as a negative reinforcement – so have zero reaction. In your mind’s eye it should be as though nothing even happened. It’s a big blank space, and void of time. And when they get back to something that you agree with, again, be charming, be enthusiastic, agree with these things. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 136 Now make this subtle, so it’s just part of the normal communication. Perhaps you happen to be distracted when they say something you dislike. Perhaps, if it’s something you dislike, you have a different thought. Whatever it is, put no energy, no enthusiasm, no negative energy, into the dislike. This will get you used to practising the positive reinforcement of agreement, and the extinction of disagreement, in someone else’s behaviour. This will be the foundation for the entire agreement tactics that you’ve learnt about on this CD. Track 22 – Ex 6 – 2m13s Exercise 6 Okay, for the next exercises, let’s turn now to the ‘persistence tactics’ we’ve discussed already. For the first thing I want you to do is, get used to looping through important ideas to ‘activate the hypnotic triple’. What I mean by this is, during conversations where you are either giving instructions or you want to make some important point, loop over that point several times, to make sure that the message comes across properly. Here’s an example of what I mean. Let’s you’re at work and you want to get a colleague to write a certain report. You might say to him: “Hey Bill, this report I want you to write in this particular style. And when you’ve written it, make sure it’s in this particular style. So that, when the other client reads it, they read this particular style that they’re used to.” Now, do you notice how, even without putting any real content into it, I’m actually using the ‘hypnotic language foundations’ which we already discussed in the previous CD, and beginning to use them here as a way of looping through the same idea several ways, but in different variations of it. It’s the variation of a theme that makes the repetition be less repetitive and boring. So use your creative imagination to come up with as many different ways of looping through the same idea, that happens to be an important idea in a conversation, and use your hypnotic language patterns in order to introduce the same idea several times. Initially aim for 3 repetitions, but in a casual way, so that people don’t really pick up the fact that you’ve been repeating it too often. For those of you who are coaches, educators, or mentors of some sort, I’d like to share a way that I use this when I teach hypnosis, NLP, or even martial arts. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 137 Typically, when it comes to this, I’ll often loop through the same idea in many different guises; sometime it will be by giving an example; sometimes by giving an instruction; or sometimes, just by doing the same thing several times until people begin to cotton on. This idea of repetition of an idea is so important because it allows the mind to learn, and really attach, to something of importance. Track 23 – Ex 7 – 4m17s Exercise 7 Now this next exercise is a very important exercise. It blends the ‘persistence tactics’ you’ve learned with the ‘power tactics’ that we’ve been covering on this CD. The reason this is very important is because it allows you to enter the role of authority in a very subtle sort of way. I’ll give you the exercise first, and we’ll talk a little bit about it afterwards, so you can really get a sense of it and how it works. The exercise is very simple. You’re going to activate the ‘compounding effect’ and the ‘law of successive approximation’ by beginning to tell people what to do, but in a very subtle, casual way – and, in particular about things that are of really no importance. It gets them used to responding to you. Here’s a few examples of what I mean: Let’s say you’re coming in for a meeting, and you say to someone, “Hey, why don’t you grab that seat over there?” That seems like a very casual sort of remark to make; a very polite remark to make. But really you’re already giving someone an instruction, and their beginning to follow that instruction begins the process of hypnotic influence. Now, you can take this to an extreme where you might say it in the middle of a meeting, to move people around to sit in different positions. An exercise I have recommended to my corporate clients, in the past, would be to just casually begin to move people around in a conversation. For example, you might say, “Oh Bill, come over here a second, because this will be important for you. And Mary, why don’t you stand over there because you’ll be hearing this more clearly. In fact, why don’t you 2 stand on this side here, so I can really show you what I mean.” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 138 Do you notice how I’m already beginning to subtly introduce into a normal conversation, these ideas of moving people around in a very purposeful sort of way? And it’s all done in a very casual sort of context, as though it’s just a natural part of communication style. The fact is, for me, it has become that now. And it should really become that for you. Now here are a few things to pay attention to and be careful of. What I’m not saying is that you go around and start ordering people what to do. Okay. If you say to someone, “Er Bill, sit in that chair now,” It’s a very different thing to saying, “Oh, why don’t you grab that chair over there? Or in fact, why don’t you sit next to me over here so I can show you all the figures I’m talking about?” Notice how that’s a much more casual and conversational, request, and it makes it very difficult for someone to say ‘no’ without seeming somehow rude or obnoxious. So, when you’re doing this, when you’re moving people around, getting them to do little things for you, make sure you do it in a very casual off-the-hand sort of way. And if they refuse, it’s no big deal. Remember the ‘extinction principle’: pay no attention to it. The second thing I want you to pay attention to is, initially, especially if you’re not used to asking people to do things for you, I want you to get used to doing things which are totally irrelevant at first. So, when you’re sitting in the office, don’t turn around to someone and say, “Hey, why not get me a cup of coffee?” – unless you’re already used to asking for those sorts of things. Start with requests which seem really trivial and unimportant. Things like – • • • • • Could you pass me that piece of paper over there? Oh, pass me the salt! Why don’t you stand over here while we talk about this? Oh, let me see your hand, That’s a lovely watch, can I see it?” as you pick up the wrist to have a look at it. So these are all very unimportant activities that people will happily comply with. But even though they’re unimportant activities, you’re already beginning the ‘law of successive approximation’ and they’re beginning to respond to you. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 139 You’re already using the ‘law of compounding effect’ to make sure that, each and every time that you ask for something, it’s more likely that they’ll respond to the next one as well. So, begin with the principle of: start with little things, and build them up. If you’re already used to asking for little things, then start asking for ever more important things. Ask people to sit down when they don’t normally want to sit down. Ask them to bring you a cup of coffee, to bring a paper, to recount a story – whatever it happens to be – but make it subtle enough that it fits the conversational context that you happen to be in. Just remember to do it with a friendly smile on your face and a casual manner, so it’s no big deal for you or for them, or for anyone else. All I can say after that is enjoy the ride that this exercise will take you on. Track 24 – Ex 8 – 2m40s Exercise 8 Now the final exercise is all about ‘seeding ideas’. Once you get used to the ability to start seeding a certain thought or idea, and you build on it over progressive conversations, until the full thing – the full idea or process has been placed inside someone’s head. The way you can do this is very simple. Choose a very simple topic, for example, if it’s a sunny day, spend some time with a colleague, talking to them about how beautiful the sunshine is. Then, maybe a few hours later, have a chat in which you casually mention how you’d love to just be outside, relaxing in the sun right now. And a few conversations on, maybe later in the day, you might talk about a pleasant holiday you had, in which you just relaxed in the sun and really enjoyed yourself. Then, perhaps, by the end of the day, you could spontaneously turn around and say something like, “Hey, let’s go somewhere on holiday. Let’s go for a long weekend right now.” Notice that what you’ve done is, you’ve built up over successive conversations the simple idea of the sunshine, and enjoying the sunshine, to the point where going off somewhere on holiday, somewhere warm and relaxing, is just a part of the next step. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 140 The ideas have warmed up inside someone’s mind already. Now, the fact is you can probably do this inside of one simple conversation. The reason that it’s more powerful, or at least simpler, to split it up over successive conversations at first, is because, when you seed an idea, you want to leave it room just sort of gestate, to germinate into the back of the mind – to begin to influence someone at the unconscious level, and to grow outside of their unconscious awareness. So the way you do that is by introducing it in one conversation, and then maybe just changing topic, and coming back to the idea only later, in a different conversation. That way you’ll be sure that they’ve unconsciously processed it. The danger of putting it all together into one conversation is that you run the risk that they may twig to the idea too soon on a conscious level; at which point it gets analysed, and stands a higher risk of being criticised or rejected. Of course later on, as you get more proficient with this, you can do this all in one conversation. It’s just that you’re much better at reading the signals, and knowing when is the right time to stop pushing, and allow the mind to just absorb the idea. But for now, just enjoy the idea of going out and planting these little thoughts, little ideas, inside people’s heads, so that you can come back to them over a period of time. Of course, the more you do this, the easier and more fun this becomes. Track 25 – 1m31s End of CD4 This is the end of CD 4 – The Authority Strategy: Tactics to Ensure Success. By now you’ve already covered a lot of material. So make sure you go out there and practice it, and use it, putting it all together so that you really get the biggest benefit out of this. This is only CD 4 of a 12-CD set, so there’s many more things we’ve yet to cover. In the next CD, CD5 – The Emotional Triggers: How to Control Inner Pictures and Feelings, you’ll discover the secret of accessing people’s states and moods inside their mind. You’ll learn the secret key to persuasion, and how to trigger that inside someone’s mind any time you want. You’ll even learn how to start implanting ideas in someone’s head, so that they start seeing the things you want, running the mental movie inside of themselves, © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 141 that help them make the kind of decisions that make your communications more influential. You’ll use the power of the imagination – both your own and people that you’re working with – to really intensify responses people give you. We’ll also be revealing the first persuasion strategy in this CD series. It’s called ‘ABSAIL’, and will be a very simple, yet powerful, way of persuading or influencing someone towards a certain activity or response. I hope you enjoy learning from the exercises on this CD, and I look forward to seeing you again on CD 5 - Emotional Triggers: How to Control Inner Pictures and Feelings. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 142 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS BONUS CD1 Stealth Tactics Track 1 Welcome Welcome to this bonus CD of the Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Program. When I was reviewing the 12 CDs in this audio program I decided that I wanted people to really get the most benefit out of this program possible. So I’ve decided to take the tactics to ensure success and give you some additional strategies that take you beyond the authority strategy. In this CD we’re going to cover what I call the “Stealth Tactics” or “Stealth Strategies” which will allow you to become ten times more influential in your interactions and plant ideas inside people’s minds without their conscious filtering system automatically rejecting it. So, are you ready to begin? Just sit back, relax and enjoy the content on this bonus CD. Track 2 Introducing stealth tactics Let’s begin with looking at what we mean by the Stealth Tactics and at what point in a conversational hypnosis interaction they actually fit into the big picture. Now, imagine if you would, that there was a castle that you had to get inside of but the castle is being guarded by a pair of ferocious guards that won’t let anyone inside. Now, if you really have to get inside that castle there are several different ways you can do this. One way would be to bring a whole army, lay siege to the place, destroy the walls and rush inside. But that would take a lot of power, a lot of effort and probably lose a lot of lives along the way. A slightly better way might be to use stealth tactics which would be perhaps to climb the castle walls in the dead of night. Or, perhaps even to disguise yourself as a local farmer that has access to the castle and be allowed inside under the watchful gaze of the guards. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 143 Well, stealth tactics do the same thing where the mind is concerned. The way you have to conceptualize the mind for a moment is that we have a little guardian inside our own heads. This guardian, this critical analysis is what filters information from the outside world and decides what is safe to allow inside the brain. Now, normally this guardian does a good job. It prevents you from taking on too many negative messages and allows you to determine your own way in life. The problem comes when people become so inflexible they automatically reject things which might be good for them just because they don’t fit the list that the guards have inside their heads of things that are safe to let inside the castle. So, how many times have you tried to give a friend of yours good advice, for example, and this friend just says, “Oh no, no. I thought of that already,” and rejects it out of hand. What’s happening there is the critical filter; these guardians of the gate are just simply not allowing information to come inside. One of the things you need to learn to do is how to bypass that guardian and manoeuvre your way inside without resorting to the traditional strong arm tactics, things like emotional blackmail, et cetera. Now, these things don’t really work that well and if anything just create a world in which people end up suffering more and have less of a pleasant experience. So the stealth tactics were created in order to help you to influence other people in a positive way, in a good way and bypass those very limiting factors which would ordinarily get inside someone’s way. So take your time to master these skills because it will forever resign frustration, emotional blackmail and all these other negative responses to the wastepaper basket of your life. Now you’ll see that a lot of people will call stealth tactics to be a kind of conversational jujitsu because it doesn’t rely on strength, it relies on your understanding of subtle principles which will allow you to use people’s strength against them in this way. Now imagine that you were having a fight with someone that was not there. Imagine trying to fight your own shadow. You can’t wrestle your own shadow because you can’t even get to grips with it. You can’t touch it, you can’t hold it, and you can’t manipulate it in traditional ways. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 144 So the stealth tactics are all the tactics, all the strategies that you can employ that other people will either not notice or simple can’t get a good grasp on in order to be able to resist it or fight back against it. So with these stealth tactics you’ll become like a shadow yourself, like the wind that just blows through the trees that everyone will feel and experience but no one can really quite get a grasp on or resist properly. Now a word of warning. Make sure you apply these strategies with your best intention of everyone concerned in mind. You see, the unconscious mind is actually very smart and if all you do is try to abuse your skill and manipulate other people to their disadvantage, all that’s going to happen is over time their unconscious mind is going to start distrusting you and maybe even disliking you for what’s going on. They may start avoiding you or perhaps disliking you without quite knowing why, there’s just a general sense of unease. Not only is that going to happen, but there’s another strong psychological principle which says something along the lines of whatever you project, in other words the things you do unto others, will ultimately come back onto you. For example, people who are full of hate tend to live in a world in which other people will respond to them with a similar sort of emotion. People who in their minds live inside a world where everyone is trying to cheat them are the ones who try to go out and cheat others. And the very same act tends to invite the very consequences they are afraid of. So why not spread a little love in the world? Turn this into a positive event. Make good things happen for yourself and other people so that everyone can benefit from this. Now I’m a big believer that the world has more than enough wealth to go around. There’s more than enough love, there’s more than enough riches. There is more wealth, there is more money running around the world today than there was 50 or 100 years ago. So our affluence, our ability to enjoy life improves with every generation and it’s simply ridiculous to sit around and try to take away from others when all you need to do is work together. You end up creating more than existed in the first place. So with that in mind, just make sure that when you use these stealth tactics you use them for the best intention of everyone concerned. Make sure that everyone © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 145 gets to live in that happy world where everyone gets their outcomes; everyone gets to enjoy their life more fully. That way what goes around will come around to you and you will enjoy even greater riches than you could even possibly plan for, just by the fact that you were willing to do something good for others around you, too. Track 3 Stealth tactic 1: the law of reverse effect So let’s start off by looking at the law of reverse effect. The law of reverse effect is actually very powerful. Simply put, it states that the harder you try to do something, the more likely it is that you’ll fail. So let’s examine for a moment why this is the case. From a hypnotic point of view you might say that you have a conscious mind and an unconscious mind. Your conscious mind is designed to do certain things like enjoy experiences and make decisions. Your unconscious mind on the other hand acts out on those decisions and more importantly makes all the complex calculations required for most of day to day life. Do you remember being a child and how complicated it was to put on a shirt or dress yourself in your own trousers without getting your feet all mixed up? You’ll remember that something as simple as getting dressed which for every adult is totally easy, then you’ll realize that it’s only because you’ve internalized a whole bunch of complex procedures like maintaining your balance, knowing which way around the shirt goes, et cetera. One of the reasons the law of reverse effect actually works is because people try to consciously do something that’s been designed to be done unconsciously. Your conscious mind can only handle seven plus or minus two bits of information which means anything other than the most simple of tasks has to be relegated to the unconscious mind in order for it to be performed properly and smoothly. The minute the conscious mind begins to interfere, it begins to interfere with the smooth action and failure begins to happen. The Law Of The Imagination © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 146 Now, another reason for the unconscious mind to respond with failure when the conscious mind interferes is because of the law of the imagination. This is a good example of this is when we look at people who want to go on a diet. Now, everyone knows someone who says they should eat less chocolate cake, for example. And yet, what happens when they think about not eating chocolate cake? The pictures in their minds are of chocolate cake in the fridge and the harder they try to not think about it, the more they actually have to make those representations, those pictures inside their mind. The secret of course is, these pictures are associated to them all these wonderful experiences. There’s the chemical rush as the sugar hits the system. There’s the emotional experience that eating itself has been attached to over the years. There’s the actual taste itself which has both pleasant quality and all the emotional experiences that have been associated to it. The harder they try to not think about eating cake and the more those associations get fired up in the nervous system. Eventually the unconscious mind goes, “Okay, that’s enough.” And it reaches out and goes and gets the cake. Now this is all well and good, but what is this of use to a conversational hypnotist? Well, let’s take a leaf out of the book of old fashioned hypnotists who did something very, very smart. Now with classical hypnosis, there’s something known as the hypnotic challenge. The hypnotic challenge is basically where you ask someone to try to resist you in some way. And notice how they fail. Typically the way a classical hypnotist will do this is he’ll do some kind of suggestibility test, for example the hand clasp test, or the finger vice, or the body sway test. For those of you who are interested in these more classical hypnotic patterns, have a look at my book The Deep Trance Training Manual where there are some descriptions on the most common types. [Available from Amazon.com, ISBN 1899836977] © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 147 Now the interesting thing about the suggestibility test isn’t the actual test itself. It’s when the challenge comes in. So let’s say someone’s doing the hand clasp test. Their hands are all tightly locked together and the hypnotist says something like, “Try as hard as you can to open your hands and you’ll find that you cannot. Try hard, and the harder you try the tighter those hands will squeeze together.” Now there is a lot of powerful psychology invested in just that simple challenge. You see, invariably when people will try and fail with the challenge, what will happen is they will begin to create a belief inside their mind. The belief is they have externalized their ability to resist. Their power of being able to resist suggestion now rests within the hypnotist and as long as that belief rests inside their mind it will actually be a truism. It will be true for that person, which means from now on all the suggestions the hypnotist makes will tend to be activated by the unconscious mind because there’s nothing to resist. Now this is a very, very smart thing to do because now, by externalizing someone’s resistance and showing them that their own conscious ability to resist tends to fail, you’ve now completely circumvented the ability for that person to fail. Now how do you create suggestions that actually activate the law of reverse effect? Well, first of all let’s use a linguistic trick. The linguistic trick is using the words like the word “try”. Try implies failure. Think about when someone says, “Oh, I’ve already tried that.” What are they implying? They’re saying that this has already failed for them. If you say to someone, “Try to pick up this table,” well, you’re implying that at some point they will fail. And it’s that implication which is of great importance. There are other words you can use, by the way. You can use “do this in vain”, “try”, “attempt”. These are all the same sort of ideas, but they’re really capsulated in the word “try”. Now the next thing you want to do is use a trick from those overeaters, those people who think about chocolate cake all the time. You’re going to do something which is already stacked in your favour. It’s already loaded and it’s likely to happen regardless. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 148 A typical example might be to say to someone, “Your eyes stare at this object for a moment and you’ll find your eyes are getting heavy. Now the more you stare the heavier your eyes will become, and they will want to close. Now try and keep them open. The harder you try and keep your eyes open, the more tired they’ll become and they’ll just want to close. But don’t close your eyes.” Now do you notice what’s happening? The challenge is being built in but I have set the context up so that they are likely to fail the challenge anyway. Whenever you create eye fatigue the eyelids will tend to get more tired because every time you stare at an object it actually begins to create eyelid fatigue. It’s a natural reaction. Now you’re going to piggyback your suggestion and all you need to do is piggyback your suggestion of that very natural reaction and already their resistance is doomed to failure. So you’re using a whole bunch of things put together. You’re using a linguistic subtlety, the implication of the word try, for example. You’re stacking the deck in your favour by challenging them to fail at activities that they are likely to fail at anyway. And finally you can choose some kind of activity to challenge on which is so unconscious that the more they try and do it consciously the more their brains will overload and are likely to fail. You can use this same tactic in combination with the other tactics that you are learning here. For example, you can use the overload or confusion technique and the refocusing of attention tactic that we’ll be covering later on to get the same effect. To encapsulate the law of reverse effect, the harder someone tries to do something, the more likely it is that they’ll fail. In order to do that, 1. Make sure they consciously try and interfere with some kind of unconscious process; 2. Stack the deck in your favour so that you are challenging them to fail at something that is likely to happen anyway, for example the blinking of their eyes or eye fatigue. 3. Finally, you’ll use linguistic subtleties by using words like “try”, or “attempt”, or “try in vain” in order to imply the very fact that they’ll be failing at this. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 149 The result of all this is that they will externalize their ability to resist your suggestions. The minute that happens and the belief takes hold of their mind, your job becomes easier because resistance has been bypassed, typically for the rest of that session. Track 4 Stealth tactic 2: redirect resistance Now you’ve learned how to basically hijack someone’s ability to resist you. I want to go beyond hijacking it and find how to actually utilize someone’s resistance to actually help you to go the places you need to go in. You see, one of the problems about hijacking people’s resistance using the law of reverse effect is that it creates a combative frame. It’s very much you versus them. That can create all kinds of other difficulties later, one of which, as an example, might be just purely people’s self-esteem. That’s because all of it is a question of overpowering them. “I am the powerful hypnotist, you are the weak subject.” That creates a very poor psychological frame for them to grow from. Over time they may even start feeling bad about themselves because they can’t resist an external impetus. People really need to know that they have control in their lives. The irony is the more someone feels out of control of their life, the more you try to wrestle the control away from them using things like the law of reverse effect, the more struggle you will get from them because they desperately need to prove themselves they’re still in control. Why not kill two birds with one stone? Why not use the resistance they’re going to offer anyway in such a way that it will build their self-esteem, get them to like you more in certain respects, build on conscious rapport and at the very same time still allows you to sneak your suggestions in through the back door. How do you do that? Well, the key to that is redirecting resistance. By redirecting resistance, I mean purposely giving someone something that they can resist you over, something that will fail so that they feel validated and feel powerful or strong or whatever it is that they need to get out of that resistance. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 150 In the meantime, of course, you have piggy-backed off the back of another suggestion or by the back door somewhere, the actual suggestion you want them to respond to. Let me give you a quick example of what I mean by this. Let’s imagine you want someone to buy a car and you’ve figured out from your interactions along the way that this person really needs to be able to push back on something, needs to be able to reject some things to feel that they’re in control of the situation. So one of the things you could do to activate the tactic of redirecting resistance is instead of just selling them the car, sell them the car and the insurance to go with it. Now, while their busy finding reasons to reject the insurance and telling you why they’re not going to have the insurance, they’ll be busy signing the contract to actually buy the car, which is what your outcome was all along. So the law of redirecting resistance is really finding things that people will be able to resist you over. And whilst they are busy with their conscious attention on that particular task, you’ll actually allow the actual suggestion to sneak in by the wayside. And they don’t even notice it because they’re too busy having a good time thinking that they’re resisting you. Now, there are hundreds of ways in which you can actually apply this principle. Please note that all of these tactics, all the authority strategies and all the stealth tactics really combine beautifully together to create something greater than the sum of its parts. One way that you can actually help someone redirect their resistance, let’s stay with the example of a car salesman for the moment. It might be, for example, to get them to resist you on the choice of colours. You might say something like, “Hey, when you buy this car, you know you can get this in green and in red. Now I think red would really suit you well.” While the person is busy telling you exactly why red is not the right colour for them and how they actually prefer to have blue, not in green or in red they’re still buying into the presupposition that they will be buying that car. Presuppositions are yet another category of stealth tactics that we’ll be addressing later on in this CD. But I want you to start thinking about this now because all these tactics combine together to create something very, very powerful. The principle itself is important but the expression of the principle will come through with many different layers put together. It’s the layering affect that creates almost irresistible suggestions. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 151 Track 5 Stealth tactic 3: refocus attention Now let’s turn to the next principle. Imagine you had to get a message inside a castle and there’s a guard standing outside the gate. One way you could get the message in would be to put the message inside a ball and begin to roll it down the hill towards the castle gates. Before the guard could actually do something about that ball you could go over and slam dunk them to the ground and begin a wrestling match. The guard would be so busy trying to wrestle you and get you off his back that he would probably completely forget about this ball rolling through the gates and inside the castle. This general principle is what’s called refocusing of attention. In CD 4, “The Authority Strategy,” we already explored the principle of seeding ideas which can implant in the back of their brain to almost grow by themselves as life continues. We’re going to use the same principle but we’re going to make it more powerful by tackling the guard before he even notices the seed. So the seeds fall completely on unconscious ground and begin to grow and bear fruit completely outside of awareness. How do you do this? Well, in pretty much the same way I have described, by presenting the idea, the suggestion itself and then going and tackling the guard, taking him to the ground so to speak so that he really can’t take the time to analyze, criticize and reject the very suggestion that you’ve made. How do you do this? Well, the principle is actually quite simple. All you’re going to do is you’re going to offer your suggestion. Then, you’re going to distract their attention somehow, any way is okay and we’ll talk about a few ways you can do this in a moment. Then while they’re thinking about these new ideas, you just let the original idea go. If you use the same idea of seeding ideas so that you come back to some idea over and over again over a period of time and each time distracting attention, every time you come back to it, it has grown some more and becomes more powerful. But because there’s no conscious input from their part yet, the idea grows inside their mind. It becomes their own idea and people don’t tend to resist their own ideas, which means eventually you can even say the suggestion outright and the person listening will just assume it’s true because it’s always been true. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 152 It just makes sense. I remember this happened to me once with my uncle. I used to have a strong dislike of any kind of drug medicine because I just thought the body should take care of itself. Then my uncle once mentioned – just in passing – this idea that modern medicines are very much like a plaster cast on a broken leg. They’re just there to support the body until it’s ready to take care of itself. Now, that idea was just a throw away comment in a longer conversation and the funny thing is I remember that about six months or a year later we had another conversation and I actually told him this very same idea and he laughed. It wasn’t until he explained to me who gave me the idea in the first place that I realized that this thought I had, which I thought was all my own, had actually never been my own in the first place. This is a very powerful strategy. How do we do this? Well, you’ll know you’re learning this principle when, I’ll give you an example. You know when you were younger that you did all kinds of different things. For example, you would dress a certain way and you’d behave with your friends in a certain thing. Over time you kind of change as a person. You grow up. You don’t like the things you used to like anymore. Your tastes have changed, right? Now, let me stop you there for a moment. Notice how I’ve just done exactly the same thing that we were talking about. Even on this very brief example I made a suggestion about your ability to learn something. Then I distracted you by opening up a completely different topic. Now that’s a simple layer, a simple single layer, of refocusing of attention. Imagine what were to happen if I opened up four, five, six different loops, six different topics so your mind overloads with different ideas. Your conscious mind won’t even think about hanging on to the original suggestion anymore. Now, we’ll come on to the idea of opening loops up when we come on to the CDs on storytelling to bypass resistance [CD 9]. For the moment, just rest easy with the idea of present suggestion, and then distract attention any way. So, how do you distract attention? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 153 Distraction Tactic 1: Change Topic Number one, just change topic. In fact, change topic several times. The more you change topics the further away you get from the original suggestion. Distraction Tactic 2: Confusion Number two, confuse them. How can you confuse them? Well, go back to CD 6 on “Advanced Hypnotic Language” and we’ll have covered all those patterns and more within that particular CD. Distraction Tactic 3: Overload Finally, the tactic you can use is to overload them. Overload them with specific detailed information, little facts, bits and pieces that are totally relevant. But while their conscious mind tries to hang onto them and try to figure out what the relevancy of all this is the suggestions slip in on the side. Again, you’ll find all kinds of language to overload people on CD 6. Now, the important thing to remember here is you can’t just plant one seed of an idea once only, then distract them and you’re done. This still uses the repetition tactic within the context of this advanced application. So you have to still seed the ideas and come back to the same suggestions over and over and over again over a period of time. You’ve got to make sure that you don’t come back to the same ideas so often that they consciously begin to tweak to what you’re doing. They must remain outside of conscious awareness. So how often is often enough? Well, experience will be your guide. The rule of thumb is that the more astute a person is, the more you have to disguise the suggestion to get it away from conscious attention. The more someone is, shall we say a little bit slower, the more blatant you need to be and the more repetitions you need to give them in order for it to impact upon their mind in the same sort of way. Track 6 Stealth tactic 3: implication The final three tactics that we’re going to discuss are all based around your use of language. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 154 Remember that language is one of the most powerful tools you’ll have as a hypnotist and in particular as a conversational hypnotist. Language is really the whole area that you must master. The first linguistic principle that we’re going to look at is called implication. The general rule here is that anything that you imply really attempts to bypass people’s ability to analyze consciously. It doesn’t mean that all your implications will just simply slip in by the wayside. No, there are certain ways you can do this to ensure your success. But really, one of the things that make implication so powerful is that you’re not triggering the guard, the critical factor from automatically rejecting information. If you say something out loud, the very sounds get check listed inside the head to see whether or not they agree. When you imply something, you’re not actually voicing that sound out. The lack of that voice actually prevents the mechanism which the critical analysis machine uses from actually engaging. Another reason implications work, and it’s related to this other idea, is that it takes a lot of effort to actually begin to break down an implication and consciously analyze the implied statement itself. It doesn’t mean that it can’t happen, it absolutely can but it requires energy and effort. Sometimes people won’t do it because they’re too tired or they’re so overloaded with other information. Sometimes they won’t do it simply because it slipped in with a larger context. While they’re thinking about all the other things they decide it’s just not worth the effort to actually analyze or criticize or reject the implied statement. Now using implications is actually quite straight forward. After all, you’ve been using implications throughout your life. If you walk into a room and someone says to you, “Is that door still open?” You clearly hear the implication, the implied request for you to go and close that door. Implication actually goes beyond the actual language you use itself because you can imply things by your tone of voice or by simply the kind of look you give someone at a particular point in time. So how you use implications is actually quite important. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 155 Implication Tactic 1: Implied Directives On a very basic level you can use implied directives, which are really what we’ve been talking about already. The implication of asking someone to do something without necessarily asking outright. But implication goes a lot further than that. Implication tactic 2: Create An Expectation Let’s say for example you’re at a stage hypnosis show watching a classical hypnotist doing his thing. One of the first things a stage hypnotist does, he brings people on top of the stage and then he rapidly, almost instantly hypnotizes one or two of them, dropping them dramatically to the floor. Just think for a moment what that implies. Well that implies about his hypnotic power, about the way people are going to respond. In fact, I know one hypnotist that did this on a TV show. He tells me how he was totally dumbfounded because the first few people that he did a rapid induction in completely zoned out to the floor in literally a few seconds. Now, from that moment forward everyone had built an expectation inside their mind that the minute he told them to go to sleep they would drop to the floor as dramatically as the rest. He had a studio audience where every single person just went totally fell to the floor in an almost cataleptic trance based on that first implication because it set up an expectation inside their minds. So implications can create all kinds of other things. Implication Tactic 3: Tacit Authority One example is then to imply things about who you are as a person because who you are as a person will dictate how other people respond to you. I know a lot of professional hypnotherapists who fill their office with certificates and newspaper articles about them and interviews that people have made over them. Why? Because as a nervous client sits in their waiting room looking around waiting for their turn to go and see the great hypnotist, all they’re doing is reading more and more implications of how skillful this hypnotist is, which means they’re already creating a belief, an expectation that they’ll get better. The same is true of any profession. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 156 Take a salesman, a salesman who turns up in a scruffy jacket, who speaks poorly and his paperwork is in disarray is not one that will inspire confidence in someone else because the implication on a nonverbal level is that he’s either incompetent or perhaps even a charlatan. People who are very charismatic are good at this. Rather than blowing their own trumpets about all the things that they’re good at and that they can do they’ll use implication to allow other people to come to the same conclusions all by themselves. They might tell a story about exploring the Amazon jungle and that will allow you to form your own opinion of how adventurous that person is or perhaps how determined that person is to get certain things done. So when creating suggestions at the level of implication remember to not say it outright but imply it in your language, to use a tonality to imply it, to use your very mannerisms and everything that surrounds you, your suit, the certificates you have around you. All these things tell their own stories. Also, create things within stories that say things about who you are as a person. At the end of this bonus CD I’m going to give you some exercises that you can get your teeth into in order to really master the art of implication. Track 7 Stealth tactic 4: presuppositions Now let’s turn to look at presuppositions. Presuppositions are basically linguistic assumptions. They are things you assume to be true based on the language that someone is talking or using. Let’s give you an example. If I were to make a statement like, “Luckily, today there are chairs at the back of the room.” There are a lot of presuppositions built into that. First of all that there’s such a thing as the back of the room which means that something that’s called the front of the room. So we’ve distinguished between back and front. We’ve also distinguished a question of time. When I say, “Today the chairs at the back of the room,” I’m already implying, assuming that at other times on other days it isn’t at the back of the room. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 157 There are certain presuppositions or assumptions about existence of even things like rooms and chairs themselves actually exist. I’m also making a very sort of sneaky value judgment about the whole event. “Luckily, the chairs at the back of the room.” Now let’s look at the kind of presuppositions that I want you to focus on. By the way, there are many different types. I’m just going to focus on a couple of rough categories for you to get your heads around. In time we can develop this into more detailed and complex categories. Presupposition 1: Awareness The first category of presuppositions is one of awareness. Whenever you imply that you’re aware of something you actually draw someone’s attention towards it. So you use words like know, aware, realized, noticed, to assume certain things are true. For example, “I know the chairs are at the back of the room.” “I understand the chairs are at the back of the room.” “Are you aware that the chairs are at the back of the room?” “Did you realize the chairs are at the back of the room today?” Notice how all these things take your awareness away from the fact that the chairs are in the back of the room or the fact that the chairs even exist and you focus all of your attentions on your awareness of these events. So if there’s going to be any resistance, it’s going to be on the level of awareness not on the level of whether or not the chairs exist. Presupposition 2: Time & Timed Sequence Another presupposition is one utilizing time or a sequence of events. So when I say to you, for example, “You can begin to notice the chair at the back of the room,” all the focus of attention is on whether you’re beginning to do this or not. It isn’t on the actual subsequent events. So ways of implying time are words like begin, end, stop, start, continue, and proceed. “You can continue listening to me as you proceed inside your mind to make pictures of places where you could apply this sort of knowledge and still you won’t have all those gaps filled because it’s not until you’ve gone out and done it yourself that you’ll begin to notice how this actually works.” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 158 Another way to use time is to use a sequence of events. So before, after, during, since, prior to, when, as soon as, these are all words that imply a certain sequence of events. The third thing I’ll tell you after we finish here is how to apply these things in your day to day life. Notice how the emphasis goes first of all on, “after we finish here.” So we’re going to be finishing first of all. Also I’m using an ordinate sequence as well, a presupposition of things that are going to happen. So if I tell you the third thing that’s going to happen is that you’ll realize how to use these skills, you’ll be wondering about what the first and second things are as well. All these things serve to tie up consciousness, to tie up your conscious mind in figuring out all these random things that are really of no importance to me and allow the actual suggestion to slip by in the background. Special Insight: Stack Presuppositions Now this is incredibly important because this is a form of overloading of consciousness. As a rule of thumb, if you use three presuppositions one on the back of the other, the realities that stack inside someone’s head overload and people just simply will stop analyzing the information and just go with the flow. Of course going with the flow is another way of saying that they’re becoming unconsciously responsive to something, which can be a very good thing. So we’ve looked at using awareness predicates in order to predispose certain things. We’ve looked at using time both as a sequence of time as well as using verbs and adverbs to imply a change of time. Presupposition 3: Adverbs & Adjectives Another type of presupposition uses adjectives and adverbs. Words like fortunately, luckily, happily, deeply, easily, curious, all these things imply a quality about the action. Then you begin to pay more attention about the quality than to the action itself. If I say to you, “The man is running quickly,” as opposed to, “The man is running.” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 159 If I say to you, “The man is running,” you might ask whether or not the man is actually running or in fact just jogging or walking very quickly. If I say, “The man is running quickly,” you’re more likely to turn around and say, “Well actually, he’s running rather slowly.” So the point of resistance is whether or not it’s a quick action, not whether or not the action took place in the first place. You don’t have to be aware of how people use presuppositions one stacked on top of the other because fortunately your unconscious mind will already sort all these things out for you. Now you can begin to use presupposition only as quickly as you can enjoy the process of having done that. So when you look back on yourself from some time in the future, you can look at all the things and become aware of how simply they were coming out of your mouth within normal conversations. Fortunately you don’t have to think about that consciously because unconsciously your inner mind will actually make those pictures for you now. Do you begin to understand how overloading someone with presuppositions just cuts out all the ability to just interfere with that consciously? All that’s left is a simple message, “Make pictures, learn these things and enjoy the process of just doing this spontaneously.” Finally, let me just re-emphasize the general rule of thumb that when you stack three or more presuppositions behind each other, people’s ability to keep up and consciously analyze what you’re saying almost disappears. So start using them in everything that you do. Track 8 Stealth tactic 5: binds & double binds Finally let’s turn to a very specific and peculiar type of presupposition known as binds and double-binds. Now a bind is basically giving someone a tough choice, a choice that doesn’t really exist. For example, there’s a very amusing example of this in one of the Marx brothers’ films in which one of the lead characters turns around to the hotel manager and says to him, “Tell me, have you stopped beating your wife yet, yes or no?” Now the manager is confused and doesn’t know how to answer it because if you think about it he can’t answer yes or no without actually agreeing with the presupposition that he has been beating his wife. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 160 Binds themselves can create all kinds of unpleasant experiences. In fact a whole novel is based on this called Sophie’s Choice. [Sophie, in a concentration camp, is forced by a cruel guard to choose which of her children to let live. Available from Amazon.com, ISBN 0679736379] If I say to you, “Who do you love more, your son or your daughter?” that leaves someone no room to really manoeuvre because the choice is an impossible choice and it can create all kinds of problems. Now a double-bind is a way of using this kind of impossible choice in order to create a more beneficial outcome for everyone concerned. In sales terms it’s actually used, overused in fact, when you have what’s called an assumptive close along the lines of, “Which pen would you like to use to sign this contract?” A double-bind takes this idea a step further and makes it much more eloquent by giving people the illusion of choice. If you give someone the illusion of choice, it makes them feel important and validated because they’re still creating choice. They think that they’re determining what’s coming on. But by creating an illusion of choice you still determine the actual outcome that you want. If you remember earlier on we talked about redirecting resistance. This is a way of doing that as well because regardless of which the two choices they choose you still have the actual outcome you want in the first place. If I ask you, for example, “Would you like this car in blue or in red?” it doesn’t matter which colour you answer because regardless of which colour you end up resisting and which colour you end up choosing, you’re still buying the car and that’s what really matters to me. So a more eloquent example of the same choice would be, “So would you like to sign the papers out here or would you feel more comfortable in the office over a cup of coffee?” Notice how that one word “or” is what actually illustrates a double-bind being in action. Be very aware of that because not only can you use that powerful “or” to create your own double-binds but as you become more aware of that in your outside world you’ll start noticing when other people are imposing a double-bind on you. Be very careful of those times whether or not you choose to accept the presupposition implied by that double-bind or if you want to break it and create even more freedom for yourself. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 161 By the way, please notice how easy it is to slip into a double-bind. You just experienced one a second ago when I said to you, “You can either choose to let the double-bind work or break the double-bind,” the one thing that’s being presupposed is that you’ll be noticing the double-bind! You’ll be aware of it in the first place. So regardless of whether or not you choose to go with it or to break it, you’re still aware of a double-bind. Please notice how simple it is to slip these into normal, every day conversations. There are plenty of examples of double-binds in action every day. You can say to a child who doesn’t want to go to bed on time, “Well, you can go to bed at eight or eight-fifteen. Which would you prefer?” Again, there’s an illusion of choice there which you can detect by the sound of that innocent little word “or”. Special Tactic: Conscious-Unconscious Double Bind Now a particularly hypnotic way of using a double-bind is what’s known as a conscious-unconscious double-bind. In this particular type of double-bind you allow some aspects of the behaviour to be either consciously controlled and others will happen unconsciously. Regardless of which of those happen, you are still implying the behaviour will occur. Let’s say an example from learning. “You may learn all these materials quickly and easily by focusing your attention on these consciously or will you find yourself sleeping and dreaming about using double-binds in your natural every day sleep.” You’ll notice again how we can do consciously one thing or you can allow it to happen unconsciously. Either way, it will still occur. Your learnings will actually come through to you with conscious insight and understanding right now or your unconscious mind will keep working at it so that in some point in the future you’ll just wake up and realize how easy it is to use conversational hypnosis in action. I really don’t know whether you’re going to start to master double-binds straight away or if you prefer to wait to master all the other conversational hypnosis patterns, the language, et cetera, and then come back to double-binds when you have mastered those things already. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 162 Special Insert - Trance Voice Induction Table The Conscious and the Unconscious Minds As a hypnotist you’ll be working with ideas and principles of consciousness. The trouble is that defining consciousness is extremely tricky. Both philosophers and psychological researchers have found it almost impossible to define the human mind in concrete terms. Part of the problem is that we mean so many different things when we use the word “mind” and part of the problem is that nobody actually knows exactly what happens inside of us. Anyone that tries to tell you they know the exact process of how and why the mind works is either a fool or a liar! What we CAN say about the mind, with great accuracy, is that we can predict certain outcomes given certain inputs. Given a “traumatic” situation, we can predict how the mind will respond (from pain to denial and other defence mechanisms). Any theory as to WHY and the actual mechanics that cause these effects is exactly that: A Theory. Never confuse a theory with a fact! To avoid the problem of actually believing what we talk about too much, I am going to offer you a MODEL of consciousness. It certainly is not TRUE, but it is useful. The model of the Conscious Mind and the Unconscious Mind lies at the heart of hypnosis. Without making a distinction between these two “minds” hypnotists would find it difficult to conceptualise what we do. Remember these “minds” are not actually real, they are just a simple way to describe processes we have spotted! The Conscious mind is that part of your awareness that you are using right now. It is that awareness that you can focus on. It is limited to being able to hold attention on 5-9 ideas or experiences at a time. The conscious mind is generally responsible for making choices, planning and being around to enjoy things. The unconscious mind is vast. It is all the memories, experiences, wisdom and insights that you have accumulated over the years. Every psychophysioloigcal process that you run (i.e. everything that happens in the mind and in the body) is either an “unconscious” one or at best “Semi-conscious”. Your unconscious runs the whole show, BUT it will take instructions from your conscious mind – if they are presented in the right way. That presentation is, of course, the Art of Suggestion! To compare the two minds metaphorically, you could say that the Unconscious mind is like a vast cave full of treasures, wild things, inventions and the odd unpleasant thing. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 163 The conscious mind is a little like a man inside that cave bearing a torch. The limited circle of light that the torch can light up, is what you are consciously able to perceive. A trained mind may have a slightly more powerful torch, but really the skill is your ability to navigate through the cave and find the things that you are looking for when you need them! Here is a comparative analysis of the two minds and the kinds of processes that are typically associated to each one: Conscious Unconscious 5-9 Bits Everything Else Logical Thinking Intuitive and Associational Thinking Feeling/Perceiving Linear Whole System Precision Field of Possibility Waking Dreaming, Sleeping, Fantasy Voluntary Movements Involuntary Movements Verbal Non-Verbal (tonal/BMIRs) Chooses Goals Achieves Goals! Deliberate Behaviour Automatic Behaviour Academic Knowledge Experiential Learnings Tries to Understand Problem Knows Solution Sequential Thought/Action Simultaneous Thought/Action Limited Focus Expansive Awareness Aware only of NOW Storehouse of all Memories Experiences Events Experiences and RECORDS Events © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 164 Track 9 Exercises So we’ve reached the end of the special stealth tactics for this bonus CD. And, as before, I would like to give you some exercises now in which you can practice in order to really master these skills for yourself. Remember, the more time you put into these things and to really thoroughly study the language and the implications and all the other things you’ve been doing the more eloquent you’ll become and the more powerful your hypnotic interactions will be. So really invest your time in mastering these exercises because it will pay great dividends as you continue in your study of conversational hypnosis. Track 10 Ex.1 Exercise 1 The first exercise is all about the law of reverse effect. One way to activate the law of reverse effect is to use the observer principle which is to say that when people are under observation they try too hard to be normal and they stop being normal as a result. The classic example of the law of reverse effect might be to tell someone you’re about to throw them a ball or a towel or something. Tell them it’s important that they catch it. Now, keep emphasizing how important it is that they catch it and don’t throw the ball yet or the towel yet. The longer you delay and the more you build up the importance inside their mind the more likely it’s going to be they’ll miss once you actually throw it over. The key to this really is to make it important for them. The more trivial it is, the more unimportant it is to them to get it right, the more likely it is they’ll just hand over the responsibility to their unconscious mind and probably get it right as a result. An example of this might be to put an extra bet on a tricky shot when someone’s playing pool. So when you put a higher bet on it and something which is significant, the chances are that the pressure will get to the person playing and the person is unlikely to make the shot. You need to call the right time and the person as well. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 165 For example, an expert pool player may well be used to the kind of pressure that you can already put on them and you’re more likely to lose your money. So always make sure that your level of pressure you put on, the level of importance, is a little bit greater than that person is used to. Suddenly the law of reverse effect will kick in because they’ll try a little bit too hard to get it right and then will end up failing at the task at hand. Now, a little caveat. Just make sure you’re nice to people. Don’t do this when something of genuine importance is about to happen. So when your friend is about to go on that all important first date, that is not the time to screw things up for him by engaging in the law of reverse effect. Be nice to the person and I’m sure they’ll be nice to you, too. Track 11 Ex.2 Exercise 2 The next exercise is all about creating the distraction principles and mastering it in your conversational style. Now this exercise is actually quite simple but not necessarily easy to do. In the context of normal conversations with your friends, family, colleagues, whatever, what I want you to do is begin to randomly start changing topic in the middle of a conversation. The way to do this is either what’s called a hard loop or a soft loop. A hard loop is when you just break the information and just go to a completely unrelated topic and you keep going long enough that it builds enough momentum that people don’t go back to the old conversation. A soft loop is to create some kind of segue into it. If you listen to radio DJs or TV presenters they always have soft loops, perhaps saying, “Oh, and that reminds me of this. This is just like that” So in order to create a soft loop you might say, “Well, that reminds me of a time…” and you tell a story which may have nothing to do with the actual original topic but by the time they realize that it’s already gone beyond that. Initially change topic just once at a time just to get used to doing that. The next step will be to change topics three, four, five times in a row. Here’s an example of what I mean. You know I went shopping yesterday and I bought the most amazing thing. You know what it’s like just before Christmas rush? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 166 I mean last Christmas I was going into a department store to get my sister a birthday present. I had no idea what to get her. Now, I remember when we were like five years old and my sister gave me my very first birthday present. She was only about three years old and she had made these really, well now, looking at it it’s kind of crappy little cobbled thing. But I remember at the time thinking that this is the most amazing thing ever, that something so small could give me something they actually made out of nothing. Now I don’t know if you have that sort of experience where you can make something out of nothing. I mean my cousin is really, really good at this. He’s a chef and he’s actually worked for four and five star restaurants. He can walk into a kitchen where there’s absolutely nothing in there at all. Literally there’s a bag of corn flakes and some slightly stale milk and he’ll whip up the most amazing meal out of seemingly thin air. That’s a real skill I admire. Okay, so notice in that last 30 seconds or minute or so we’ve actually introduced four or five different topics and they’re all totally unrelated although somehow the flow seemed to have followed one to the other. Just get used to doing that. The third stage of this exercise, once you get used to just breaking the topic of conversation and then breaking the topic repeatedly over the same short interval of time, place in a very small seed, a simple seed of a suggestion and then straight away break topic several times. The seeds will initially be just hypnotic themes like fascination, attention, relaxation, focus, enjoyment, and then moving on to other things. Here’s a little trick to make it even more powerful. When you actually present the suggestion seed that you want to implant in someone’s mind, embed it in a sentence fragment that you never complete. For example, “The best thing about relaxing is, well, you know when you go driving sometimes you find yourself in this place where your mind is totally focused on the road and you don’t even hear the radio playing in the background.” Notice how I’ve actually introduced the idea of relaxing inside of a sentence fragment which never gets completed. The reason this is particularly powerful, this is a trick of the masters, if you like, is because the unconscious mind keeps © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 167 throwing the same sentence fragment over and over and over again in its mind, trying to complete what meaning you might have tried to give it. It actually emphasizes like putting fertilizer on a seed, and makes it grow more quickly, more powerfully. Track 12 Ex.3 Exercise 3 This exercise is all about overloading the critical mind. The way you’ve got to do this is very simple and that is to begin to amass a bunch of meaningless factual information that you can just drop into a conversation. For example, when you’re talking about your fishing holiday, start talking about the people you went with and say, “Well, it was Fred and George and Bill. Now Bill had a big nose whereas Brian had a small nose. Brian and Bill were always fighting about the size of their noses. Now, in the meantime, you have Mark who’s actually just sitting quietly trying to fish his fish and using the new type of rod that both Brian and Bill actually really envied. Mark’s rod was actually colored yellow, Brian’s was green and I think Bill’s was orange. So they’re green, orange and yellow and the interesting thing is they kept swapping their rods around by accident because Mark is actually color blind.” Notice how we’re just overloading you with a whole bunch of meaningless names, information like the colors of rods, et cetera. I want you to start using them to drop that into your conversations. You can do the same things with football statistics. You can do it with statistics actually of any kind. The important element isn’t what type of information you’re putting in. The important thing is the information is new to your listener and it’s in such detail that they’ll overload and start losing track of who’s doing what and saying what and what things are being involved. At that point it becomes a very simple thing to just throw in and embed suggestions from time to time. What we’re talking about embedding suggestions, which is to create another layer within your normal conversation which only the unconscious mind picks up on CD 6. On CD 6, of course, you will have had all kinds of other exercises about overloading people and confusing them as well. For the moment, just go out there and really practice confusion and overload as a part of your conversational style. Know when to turn it on and also know when to turn it off. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 168 Track 13 Ex.4 Exercise 4 The next exercise is all about implications. In this I want you to begin to pay attention in particular to the media and advertisement because they are the masters of implying certain things. For example, a car advert will show sensual women draped across a car to imply this sense of masculinity, maybe even of virility which having that car will give you. Another one will try to emphasize or imply the idea of safety. Another one, happiness. So what I want you to do is to begin to analyze the adverts in the media you see around you to find out what are the implications, the unwritten implications or the unstated claims they’re making which are really the scenario in which the actual advert or product is being placed. A couple of clues to make this easier. Number one, music sets an emotional tone and emotional mood and it will be a dead give-away as to many of the things they’re trying to imply. Another thing will be the peripherals, the things the car or whatever the subject of the advertisement is about, travels through. Another one will be the archetypes. In other words, certain things have embedded within them a kind of message that everyone understands. For example, small children is all about being protected. A sensuous woman is all about sex. These are all like archetypical implications that I want you to be aware of. Once you have done this we’re going to take the next step, which is inside your minds I want you to create the perfect world in which everything that you want is happening the same way that you want it. So for example, let’s say you’re a sales person. Then you can be in the kind of world where your clients love your company and want to buy your products and in fact, maybe even ring you up to ask for more. If you’re a business leader you’re going to have the kind of world where people are listening to you, where your employees are enthused and motivated, where the bottom line of your company is exceeding expectations constantly. You get the idea of the kind of world that you want to create for yourself. Once you’ve created this world I want you to pick out the very same kind of archetypes that would exist for a person who is in that position in that kind of world. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 169 I want you to begin to drop these archetypes into your conversations. For example, a business leader who is often admired or who keeps getting phone calls from people may make certain hints along the lines of finally being able to turn the phone off and implying that by the people who are trying to get hold of them all the time. Someone who is a good salesperson may well talk to their clients about having to refuse a previous client a certain product because it just wasn’t right for them. The implication is clear about his business ethics as well as the fact that other clients just want to buy everything that he has. I’m going to leave it to you to create the kind of scenario, the kind of world in which you want to be living where you have all the things happening to you that you want to have happen to you. Then pull out of those things, things that you can imply in your interactions. Remember, do not say them out loud. Imply them. If you want people to know about your Porsche 911, don’t tell them, “Look at my Porsche 911,” or fling your keys around. That kind of stuff is obvious. But you could maybe talk about how it was embarrassing for you because you were on a long trip and you tried to pick up a hitchhiker but there ended up being two of them and you couldn’t fit them in your car because you only have one seat. So you had to like basically turn around and say, “I’m sorry. I can’t give you a lift anymore.” Notice how that creates curiosity in people’s minds. A two-seater implies the fact that you have a sports car. So never say it outright. Just put those archetypical implications as figures in the periphery in the same ways you’ve seen the advertisements do it and the emotional tone will come out of your own language and your enthusiasm. Track 14 Ex.5 Exercise 5 This next exercise is all about becoming sensitive to presuppositions in language. Now the simplest way to do this is to just get a daily newspaper, one of the broadsheets is probably the best and begin to just analyze the language that the writers are using. Ask yourself, “What are they presupposing? What are the things that they’re assuming that are true which may or may not be necessarily being true but the whole tone either implies it or is actually assumptive of it?” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 170 I want you to be able to start tracking all the kinds of presuppositions, things like time, things like awareness, what things you know or are aware of or actually assume to be true. And also things like adjectives and adverbs, things that will add color to the language. As an example, a headline might say, “President So and So is up for re-election.” Or it might say, “Unfortunately President So and So is no longer up for reelection.” Notice how that simple word “unfortunately” has already colored and implied a whole different context for the whole interaction. Now, while the media is meant to be unbiased and objective you’ll notice that people’s prejudices will slip in almost unconsciously into the things that they’re writing. So start analyzing the language in newspapers in particular, maybe a news broad cast or in fact, any kind of medium. Notice the kind of presuppositions that are there. Hollywood films are pretty good examples of this, by the way. They presuppose all kinds of things about what’s good and right and just in the world. Now, it doesn’t really matter what those presuppositions are as long as you start becoming more and more aware of when people are using them because the next stage, which will be the next exercise will be to start using them yourself. Track 15 Ex.6 Exercise 6 The final exercise is all about presupposition once again. Only this time I want you to start using them. I want you to start using them in a specific way. I’d like you to begin to stack a sentence and load it up with as many presuppositions as possible. That means that you’re going to presuppose at least three or four different things within the same statement and use different types of presuppositions stacked next to each other in order to overload the consciousness. Remember, the three that you’re focusing on are awareness or existence, time or ordinance, in other words, sequence of numbers, and finally adjectives and adverbs which color the meaning itself. Before you begin to actually take this task on board I want you to notice how easy it is for you to actually use presuppositions in everyday language. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 171 You don’t have to notice the language being used in everyday examples before you can actually use them yourself because your unconscious mind is actually using them all the time. Now whether or not you notice that now doesn’t matter because it happens after you sensitize your brain to listen out for other people presupposing certain things. As soon as you notice other people presupposing things for you, you’ll find it easier to do it yourself. So once you’ve done the exercise before this one, you’ll find this exercise easier than all the other ones because it’s just a natural extension of all the things you’ve learned so far. Now that makes sense, doesn’t it? Track 16 End of Bonus CD1 So we’ve reached the end of the bonus material on this CD. I hope you’ve enjoyed the Stealth Tactics that we’ve outlined on this particular CD and that this bonus material really helps you to master the art of conversational hypnosis. It is an art form. But like any art form it has scientific principles behind it. As you practice each one of those, you’ll find yourself really mastering the art itself. I hope that these are just some extra pieces for you to make mastering that art easier, more fun and more enjoyable. Thank you for listening and I look forward to speaking to you again on some future programs. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 172 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD5 Emotional Triggers: Controlling Inner Pictures and Feelings Track 1 Welcome Welcome to CD 5 of the conversational hypnosis home study program. On this CD entitled “Emotional Triggers: Controlling Inner Pictures and Feelings”, you’ll discover the powerful ‘access state principle’ which is the key to behavioural change, and all learning. We’ll look at the emotional triggers and the pictures themselves which control people’s feelings; and how to direct both those triggers and pictures in order to create the kind of feelings that’ll change the behaviours to one that’s more useful for you -and the people you’re working with. We’ll going to address the way people feel, how to change the way people feel, and how to intensify those emotions in order to get a more useful outcome. Finally, we’ll look at the powerful ‘ABSAIL formula’ that’ll actually allow you to use the access state principles together with your emotional triggers in order to get certain specific actions and behaviours out of people. So, as soon as you’re ready to learn all this, just sit back, relax and enjoy learning conversational hypnosis…. Track 2 The access state principle (ASP) The first principle we’re going to address is called ‘ASP’- or the Access State Principle. Now each one of those words is very important because it’ll give the keys to change the way people think and behave. Now, very often people think that in order to change or persuade someone they need to be very persuasive, influential or somehow, have very logical arguments. Change Moods Not Minds Whilst logic and those persuasive arguments themselves can be useful, the more important rule when it comes to persuasion is: “don’t change people’s minds – change their mood”. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 173 When you change people’s moods, their minds will actually follow, and this comes directly from the Access State Principal. A Study On The Access State Principle Consider this: Back in the 1970’s, there was a scientific study was carried out in which a whole bunch of students were given a bunch of nonsense syllables to memorise. Now, half of these students memorised them whilst stone cold sober; the other half on the other hand, were given a couple of shots of alcohol beforehand, to get them just a little bit tipsy before they started learning these words. Then, at the end of the trial, they just waited a few hours to let those people who’d taken the alcohol to sober up. And then they gave them all a test. Funnily enough, and as you’d expect, the people who were sober whilst learning the words actually did better on the test. The interesting thing is, when they reloaded the experiment, only this time after every had a chance to sober up again, they gave both groups a couple shots of alcohol; in other words, they re-induced the original state –the one of light inebriation. At that point, the second group did better: the ones who had learnt the actual syllables whilst they were slightly drunk. Each State Is Like A Room Now, from this initial piece of research hundreds of studies have followed which have declared that the way people code information and all your behaviours, all your learning’s will be codified inside a specific state of mind. When you change your state of mind you also change the behaviours you have access to and the information that you can actually remember. Think of your mind as being ‘different rooms’; each room is a specific state. Inside that room you will have stored all the leanings, all the information and also, all the behaviours, [that is] all the muscle memory for the things you have learned to do. So whilst you are in that room you have access to all those things. The further you go away from that room the harder it is to access it. This, by the way, explains why some people have trouble in exams; they normally revise under no pressure at all and are, relaxed and calm and confident. Yet, when they enter the exam room itself, all the pressure gets the better of them. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 174 The pressure changes their state and the tension inside them actually gets them to switch off the information that had access to in the past. So suddenly, this person that actually knows all the answers to the question can’t find the answers; their mind quite literally goes blank. It’s not that the whole mind goes blank – it’s just that they’ve entered a room in which those answers don’t happen to be stored. And you know this to be true because the moment they walk out of the exam room and the pressure has disappeared. What happens? All the answers that they didn’t have in the exam room come flooding back. States Are The Key To Peak Performance Now this is a general principle that is true of everything you do. Sports people know this – that why before they go to a big match or a big game they have a little ritual designed to trigger the emotional response that they need to be in a peak performance state. On this CD you’ll discover the secrets to help people access those kinds of states in which their ability to perform at peak level gets improved, their ability to focus, their ability to solve problems, their ability to be inspired to be inspired and have a better life all these things will be embedded inside the state. And you will have the master keys that will unlock that door and allow people to change their moods. Changing Moods Changes Minds Now, imagine that a person’s nervous system is like a bunch of fairy lights around a Christmas tree. Every time that a unique configuration of these fairylights light up, a new state has been created. Now, this state is a complex thing; it’s partly an emotional thing, it’s also a physiological thing. So, for example, when you are waking up in the morning and you just remember a dream, you’ll have realised that whilst you maintain the exact same position [in bed] you can pretty much remember the old dream still. But the minute you move, or roll over, or sit up, suddenly the dream begins to drift away. And that’s because your neurology is also part of your whole physiology -the way you carry yourself. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 175 So when you want to change the way people feel; when you want to change their state in order to change the way they think, or their behaviours, you need to change the way they stand or carry themselves and you need to change the way they think; particularly the pictures that they make inside their minds. And you’ll also need to take control of the emotional triggers that actually trigger off all of these various responses inside of someone. Now, with Conversational Hypnosis, the Access State Principle becomes ten times more powerful. And this is because hypnosis becomes like a platform to amplify experiences. It makes experiences more intense, and therefore, more powerful. So when you take a state where someone is ‘okay’ at performing something, and you intensify it, the ability to perform that particular task becomes better and better…and better -as the state improves itself. With Conversational Hypnosis… • • • • You can help sports people improve their performance. You can help sales people sell better. You can motivate your entire company. And you can just help your friends, colleagues and neighbours around you have that much of a better life. Problems will seem easier to solve and relationships will be smoother and more interesting because of this. So, remember that everything you learn in this home study programme will still count. It all comes together into a beautiful mosaic; where every piece has the effect of accentuating the impact of every other piece. Track 3 Emotional triggers The next principle we need to address is that of emotional triggers. Emotional triggers were discovered at the turn of the first century, in about 1901 or 1902. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 176 Pavlolv’s Dogs A Russian researcher called Ivan Pavlov is most famous for discovering emotional triggers in what are called ‘Pavlov’s dogs’. You’ve probably already heard about them. In this experiment Dr. Pavlov would take dogs and offer them some food- but just before, he would shoot these food pellets down a tube into their mouths, he would ring a bell. Over a short period of time the dog’s mind associated the sound of the bell with the arrival of food. This meant that the actual sound of the bell would actually create salivation in the dogs. This is an automatic nervous system function; something the dog should have no control over. Now, people were fascinated by this because a very graphic example of how an activity that is outside our conscious control can be bought into our conscious control by the way that we create set triggers that set off that very same thing. William Twitmeyer – The Unsung Hero Of Unconscious Responses Now, whilst a lot of people give Dr. Pavlov the credit for discovering these trigger mechanisms – known as ‘Conditioned Responses’ in traditional psychology – these conditioned reflexes were actually discovered much earlier by an American doctor called William Twitmeyer. Now, he actually discovered something very interesting because he was the first man to discover the knee-jerk reflex; where if you hit someone on the soft part of the knee they end up jerking the reflex and straightening their leg out. Now, as Dr. Twitmire was carrying out his research, he realised that after several- maybe 50 or 100 repetitions of actually striking the small hammer onto the soft part of the knee, and straightening the leg out, that just the act of lifting the hammer as though it was about to strike, would cause people to accidentally straighten out their leg totally unconsciously. This is a very powerful example of an unconscious trigger being implanted. Post Hypnotic Suggestions Now, these triggers have been known to hypnotists for a long, long time now, in the form of post hypnotic suggestions. I’d really like you to think of these emotional triggers as post-hypnotic suggestions that you can create for yourself. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 177 Now, some of these triggers (especially emotionally laden triggers) will have already been created by the environment. So, natural triggers will be things like a holiday song; everyone has a holiday on which they’ve been on when they were younger, or on a particular summer. And during that holiday heard one particular song over and over again. And it became an association in their mind. So whenever they hear that very same song they just go back in their mind and relive and re-experience that beautiful holiday. Other examples of naturally occurring triggers might be like the smell of baking bread (which takes a lot of people back to maybe their Grandmother’s house or a place in which they grew up in). Other similar things will be the scent of perfume, the sound of someone’s voice, a certain tonality, a certain phrase, a certain picture. Advertising works on this principle. Advertising makes a lot of products so prevalent inside your mind that you recognise the packaging. So, when you walk through a supermarket, the one packaging that stands out is the one with the colours, shapes and forms that have been advertised to you. So these triggers are bound to occur everywhere you go and your purpose as a conversational hypnotist will be to be able to create your own hypnotic triggers so that you can begin to trigger people into emotional states and get certain behaviours, as well as thought patterns out of people. An Overview Of How To Implant An Emotional Trigger In Someone Now, how do you do this? Well, the basic rules for implanting a hypnotic trigger in someone is to first of all follow the 4-stage protocol you learnt all the way back on CD 1. To refresh your memory, the 4-stage hypnotic protocol for conversation hypnosis is this: 1. Absorb someone’s attention. 2. Bypass their critical thinking; get rid of the guardian that holds onto the gate. 3. Activate an unconscious response; any unconscious response is fine. 4. Take the response you activated unconsciously and utilise it, or lead it to a new direction. -This direction now becomes useful you in whatever you happen to be doing. Now, the 4-stage protocol itself won’t actually implant a hypnotic trigger. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 178 What it will do is set the scene and the later ground work, in which you can actually create your own emotional triggers which you then fire off, or use later on at will. So, assuming you’ve induced a pleasant trance, you’ve bypassed the critical thinking and you have the unconscious mind ‘playing ball’ with you… Conditions For Setting An Emotional Trigger What you need do you need to do in order to be able to set a trigger? Condition 1: Access A Clear State Well, the first thing you need to be able to do is access a clear state. So if you want someone to be concentrated, you need to have a pure state of concentration. If you want them to be relaxed, they need to be purely relaxed. If you want them to be happy and excited they need to be purely happy and excited. They can’t have a mix of different states – for example; ‘happy with a sense of regret’; or ‘relaxed but with sense of tension’ when they think about certain things. Because, if you have a mixed state, all that your trigger will do is trigger off the same mixed state. So, be sure to get a clear state. And we’ll find out later on in this particular CD how to do this. Condition 2: Set A Trigger Once you have a clear state you can set your trigger. Now you can set your trigger in any one of the senses. You can make it a smell, a taste, a touch, a sound, or something someone can see. Of all those senses, the easiest to work with are the last three. • • Something you do – so they can see it, Something they can hear – in other words, something that you say (like in Pavlov’s dogs in the bell that you ring). © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 179 • Or, something that you do in a sense that they can feel it – a physical touch. Because these thing you can recreate later and re-use. Condition 3: Condition The Trigger Once you’ve set your trigger you will condition the trigger, made by a few repetitions. Condition 4: Test The Trigger And then, very importantly, you will test the trigger. In other words, you will clear their mind, maybe distract them, and you will fire off your trigger again. If it activates the emotional state that you set in the first place, well then you know that the trigger is working. So, over the course of this CD, we’re going to look at how to create a state in someone, how to intensity that state in someone and then how to use those particular states in order to activate, or generate, certain types of behaviours. Track 4 How to set an emotional trigger So let’s look in a bit more detail at how to actually set a trigger. Step 1: Use The 4 Stage Protocol The first stage of setting a trigger will be as we said before; to use the 4-stage protocol to bypass critical thinking. You see, if there is too much conscious involvement, there will be a filter and a tendency to reject, possibly, your trigger before you set it. So you want to do this outside someone’s awareness because that way it’s more quickly and easily set. This does not mean you cannot set triggers when someone’s conscious attention is online. You can do this with conscious participation – although that sometimes will activate the law of reverse effect. And secondly you may need to use more repetition when the conscious mind is there, in order to overload the guardian and stop it from interfering. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 180 Step 2: Induce A State Now, assuming that you actually use the 4-stage protocol to make your life easier, the next thing you need to do is to direct someone’s inner experience in order to access a particular state. For the purpose of these exercises here, we’re going to access hypnotic experiences. Why? Well you’re doing conversational hypnosis, so you may as well access hypnotic experiences that will help you to deepen your whole learning in this particular field. Now, the way to do this is by one of three things: 1. You can ask certain questions. Questions that will bring these experiences back to life. 2. Offer descriptions to use your language in such a way that it brings the pictures and feelings back up inside someone else. This, by the way, is typically what happens to you when you go to the cinema; where watching the screen and hearing the sounds around you begin to change the way you perceive the world, so you feel differently whilst watching the film, and very often it has an effect that lasts long after the film is over. 3. Fire an existing emotional trigger. Now, that emotional trigger may exist either because it was implanted naturally by the environment, or, because you created it in a previous session and you’re just using it to retrigger the same experience. Now, this last one is particularly interesting to us hypnotists because it makes our job a lot easier over time when working with certain people. Anyone who has worked with me already begins to respond to my auditory or tonal hypnotic triggers. So when I shift my voice tone to a certain tone of voice; all the people who have been working with me in the past begin to access hypnotic experiences. Now, this is a very important reason for you to have a different tonality for when you do hypnosis work and when you have a normal everyday interaction. Because people will go into a trance when they hear your hypnotic voice over a period time. In fact, this happened to me quite recently. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 181 I was giving a training session to someone and in order to help two of the participants over something I began to talk to them in a hypnotic way in order to get them to focus on the task in a particular way. Now, one of the other students in the room (just around the corner) began to hear my tonality. Because he’s worked with me extensively in the past, he began to find himself dropping into a trance just because of the tonal patterns that I was using. Now, this can be fun and can be great when you use it certain contexts. But make sure you don’t do it in other contexts: For example when that person is driving a car and you happen to be in it too! So, this example demonstrates that you’re going to be setting emotional triggers throughout your life – usually by accident. And now you can begin to polish up your act so you actually only set the triggers for those things that will be useful for you to be able to trigger off later on; things like happiness, good feelings, etc. Step 3: Intensify The State Now, before you actually set your emotional trigger, once you have accessed the emotional state you need to intensify the experience so it’s the cleanest, clearest access state possible. The stronger the emotion, the better the trigger will work. The stronger the emotion, the more useful that particular state will be later on when you want to utilise it in order to change behaviours or thought patterns themselves. So, you need to learn how to intensify experiences. Now, intensifying the response can be done in many different ways, which again we’ll explore in this CD. Step 4: Associate State To Your Emotional Trigger Finally, you’ll actually get to link the actual trigger you’ve chosen for yourself to the actual emotional state – and then use that trigger later on to link it to an action. Please Note: we’ll come to that later on when we come to the ABSAIL formula. Now, how do you link you’re trigger with the actual emotional response? Well, that’s actually the easy part! © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 182 All you need to do is make sure the emotional response has been activated and is as strong as possible, and then you set the trigger by just firing it. Now, let’s assume that your trigger is a certain tone of voice, and let’s assume that you’re using conversational hypnosis you have a certain tonality to put people into trances. So my trance tonality is a ‘slower…more relaxed tone of voice… and when people hear this tone of voice…they begin to go into a trance’. Now ‘that’ tonality itself won’t do anything as if by magic; it will only work on the people who had exposure to me before and who have been in hypnotic states whilst I have been using my hypnotic tonality. And that’s the bit that sets the trigger to actually fire off the actual state. They happen at the same time whilst the emotional state is at its peak. Now, what else could be used? We could use a certain mannerism. For example, we could use a certain type of gesture such as opening a hand and pointing it, or a smile, or a head nod, or a head tilt. These are all subtle triggers that you could use inside a normal conversation, which will allow you to set these triggers totally naturally and conversationally inside a normal conversation. A Quick Review Of How To Set Emotional Triggers So the key to be able to set a trigger is: Make sure it’s at the peak of the emotional experience and that you do whatever you want the trigger to be. • • • If it’s the tone of voice, you speak in that tone of voice. If it’s a particular word, then you say that that word. If it’s a gesture, then you make that particular gesture. If it’s a particular touch, then you present that touch in a way that they can feel it. That itself will pair the state with the trigger so that when you fire the trigger it also fires the state. Now, sometimes you need to condition the trigger, which means you’ll repeat it several times to get it there. As a rule of thumb, the more powerful the emotional response, the more quickly that trigger will be set and the fewer repetitions you’ll need to make. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 183 So, so far you’ve induced a trance, you’ve accessed an internal experience in the other person, you’ve intensified the experience to get the purest access of emotional response and then you have set your trigger. You may have set the trigger several times to make sure it particularly takes. The next step, the final step, in setting your triggers will be to test it. Break the state: change their mood/bring them back out of trance/make them think of other things/change your storylines. And then just fire your trigger again and notice what happens automatically. If they take on the same physiology, if their face begins to flush, they sit up, they breathe differently in the same way they did in the emotional state then your trigger has worked. If it hasn’t, then go back to square one and begin all over again. Track 5 State inducing method 1: revivification questions So, let’s look at the first way of directing someone’s internal experiences in order to actively insert an emotional state. We’re going to do this by asking questions. This is called a ‘revivification’. Revivification means bringing something back to life. Now, whenever you ask someone a question, in order to answer the question they have to go to the answer and experience it to a certain degree and experience it to a certain degree in order to know what the actual answer will be. If I ask you, for example, if you remember the last place you went on holiday: how hot was the sunshine? Now, if you think about the last place you went on holiday, you have to remember the sunshine and remember how hot it was on the surface of your skin in order to give me an answer. So, you’re already beginning to activate that experience inside your neurology. You’re beginning to have that experience. I’ve actually induced a certain picture from a memory inside you and that in turn has created the feeling. Now, it really helps if you do something called ‘going first’. You need to actually have the experience inside yourself first that you want someone else to have, because you will resonate this, you will sub-communicate it in all the subtleties: © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 184 in your tonality, the way you move, you’re your body language [and] by your gesture. And by sub-communicating the particular state, the other person’s subconscious mind will begin to resonate, if you like, in the same frequency. They’ll pick up your sub-communications and begin to respond to those nonverbal suggestions as well. So, always set the scene inside yourself. • • • If you want someone to relax, makes sure you relax yourself. If you want someone to be focused, then focus in on them yourself. If you want someone to be excited, get excited yourself. Because there is nothing more incongruous, then someone trying to get you to be excited whist they’re saying “…get… excited” and “... have… you… ever… had… a…really…good time?” [Said in a dull, slow, lifeless tone] You don’t want to be boring in the way you use your questions. Now, the next thing you’re going to do is as you ask these questions, I want you adopt a meaningful tonality. So, it really seems as if this is an important question. For example, I could ask you “-well what do you like to do, to relax?” Which is an innocent kind of question. Now, I can ask the same question and say “-what do you do, when you really want to…relax.” [Tonality changes to a more insistent tone] Now, notice how that second way of asking a question is much more powerful. It makes you want to respond more fully. Now that’s partly because I’m also using embedded suggestions in my language, and we’ll cover those more fully on the next CD. Now, another reason for it is because my tonality is suggesting that this is a very important question I’m asking. In order to answer an important question you’ll go inside and activate the experience more fully in order to give me a better quality of answer. So, rule of thumb is: go first. Activate the emotional experience inside yourself first, then ask questions about it in a meaningful way. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 185 Now, as the person starts answering you, you wan to repeat back to them the exact same words, the exact same expressions, and the exact same tonalities they’re giving you. Because these will be their natural trigger words in order to access that experience for themselves. What you’re in essence creating is a ‘feedback loop’; they give you an answer, you feed it back to them, you ask another question and they’ll have to go inside and intensify the experience until the experience becomes their reality. Now, something you’ll find as you go through with this, is that from time to time people tend to lean on certain words, they’ll emphasise certain words. In other words, certain words will seem to be pregnant with meaning. They’ll be more meaningful to that person. We call these words ‘personal trance words’; because these are words for that particular person have become natural occurring emotionally trigger words, which will create mini-trance experiences for them. When you hear them, or just using those words themselves in that particular tonality can actually have a profound impact on someone else, in the way that they access trance experiences. So to summarise this particular process, you’re going to enter the state of mind yourself that you want the other person to access. Then, in a meaningful tone of voice, you’ll begin to ask questions about that experience, then bring out sensory information. I’ll give you an example of that in a moment. Then as their answering, you will listen carefully and you will reflect back to them the precise words, phrases and tonalities that they’re using. And when you capture their personal trance words, the words that they lean on particularly, you’ll remember those because you can use them not just in this context but they’ll be powerful words to motivate them into different states of mind and get certain behaviours out of them in all contexts. Track 6 State inducing method 1: notes on the demonstration Here’s an example of revivifying experiences through questions and actions. Now, bear in mind, first of all, that I can’t talk to you and this is actually an interactive process. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 186 So, I’m going to hallucinate what your answers might be to my questions and feed those back instead. The other thing I’m going to ask you to do is to stop this recording until you’re ready to put your undivided attention to this. The reason for this is because we will be using hypnotic language in the piece that is about to follow. And even though I won’t be feeding back your own particular trance words, or your own particular experiences, you may still find it having a hypnotic effect on you and it is better for you to be putting all your attention to this in order for you to learn safely and completely. In other words, if you’re driving a car or operating any kind of machinery, just stop whatever you’re doing before you listen to the next track. Track 7 State inducing method 1 demonstration So tell me, -what do you like to do to relax? … Oh, so you like to like out by the sunshine and enjoy the sunshine? So, when you’re enjoying the sunshine what does it feel like inside your mind? … Oh, so like notice a calm soothing effect, it’s almost like you can see the lights dancing behind your eyelids. Then what happens? … So, you begin t drift to sleep…you don’t quite go completely to sleep, you just drift in that half-asleep-half-awake state. What does it feel like to be in that half-asleep-half-awake state? … So, you notice that your mind just expands and that your internal pictures become fuller and richer and all of your awareness rests on those internal images. And you enjoy those internal images. Yes. You can en enjoy those internal images. So much. And you notice where those images come from. No, you don’t do you? They just arrive all by themselves, and all the time you can enjoy lying in the sun and drifting into that half-asleep-half-awake state. And you really © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 187 don’t need to think about anything at all as you just enjoy that experience. And what a wonderful experience is to have too. Now, the interesting thing is as you enjoy that experience all over again, your unconscious mind will learn that relaxation about enjoying your life in so many different ways and I don’t know just when you realise when your unconscious mind has made you into a more relaxed person. Someone more capable of enjoying life. Because, sooner or later, you find yourself coming back out of that experience don’t you? So that the sun is still there, or maybe the sun has gone behind the clouds. And eventually you find yourself back outside and you realise its time to get on with your day, don’t you? Track 8 Breakdown of state inducing method 1 demonstration So let’s examine briefly what happened in that last quick example of questions to activate an experience. Notice how as I asked my questions I began to feed back the same language and began to drop more and more into my hypnotic tonalities. I left more spaces in order for someone to really go through the experiences inside their own mind. And I began to just feed back the exact same experiences over and over again. It is also the meaningful use of tonality, and the way I focus on the internal experience, in order to really activate it fully. Now, I don’t have to focus as blatantly on an internal experience. I could equally ask about the events. For example: • • • • people who were there, things that they saw, things they heard, things that they felt. That would allow you to have a more covert elicitation, more a covert accessing of those experiences. But in this example, I went in for a more direct route for you. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 188 Now, even though this was a short example, notice also, how halfway through I did two things. The first thing I began to do was begin to introduce some hypnotic ideas and hypnotic themes about relaxing and enjoying life. So in other words, I was using the mini-trance induction which I used through the questioning technique to begin to offer some suggestions about relaxing further and enjoying life in general. I also began to offer you some descriptions, which were not necessarily linked to the actual answers you gave me to the questions, or the answers I imagined someone would give me to these questions; they actually became descriptions all by themselves. And that’s the next category which we’ll be exploring. And that is activating the imagination in order to bring experiences to life in someone else. Track 9 State inducing method 2: sensory rich descriptions The next technique for activating a state is basically to activate the imagination. You’re going to use what we call ‘sensory rich descriptions’ – or language which appeals to all the senses in order to describe the kind of picture (a word picture) that will vividly recreate inside someone’s mind the actual experience you’re talking about. Now, as you’re doing this, remember to use the smooth transitions that you’ve learnt previously. These transitions will allow you to flow smoothly from one thought or idea to another. Key Secret 1: Describe Sensations In All The Senses Use language that appeals to all the senses. So, use visual descriptions, things that they can see, use colours, distances, objects, all those kind of things. Then, you use auditory things, in other words, things that they can hear. So the sounds around them, the pitches, the rhythms, the sounds of animals that are maybe in the area, people talking, those kind of things. Finally, also include ‘kinaesthetic sensations’, in other words, feelings. Both emotional feelings – but also proprioceptive sensations – in other words, things that touch them. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 189 Now these can be as simple as talking about the sensation of their feet inside their shoes, of the touch of a palm of their hand on a wall, or they can be less mundane. For example, the feeling of silk sheets against her skin or the touch of age-old parchment in-between their fingertips. Key Secret 2: Imagine The Scene Now, the simplest way of doing this is, as always, is go first. Now in this particular instance, ‘going first’ means not just having the emotional experience. For example, let’s imagine that their way of relaxing might be going to a beach. So, not only do you want to have the feeling of relaxation, of lying on a beach yourself, but you also want internally visualise – imagine the whole scene laid out in front of you. Because when you lay it out in front of yourself it becomes very simple to describe it to someone else. Key Secret 3: Describe Only What Must Be In The Scene Now, one of the key secrets to this is being able to offer descriptions to someone of an environment which has to be there no matter what that environment is. I’ll give you an example: let’s say someone enjoys swimming. If they enjoy swimming there are certain things that’ll definitely be there: • • • there will definitely be water, there will definitely be the sensation of them touching the water, the feeling of the water., there will definitely be a certain temperature. These are things that you can’t guarantee because you don’t know what is inside their mind yet: • • what temperature that water will be, what the actual sounds will sound like, for example, are they swimming above water, or are they swimming underwater? So, the trick when offering sensory-rich descriptions in order to activate someone’s imagination is to be as vague, and at the same time as specific, as possible. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 190 Key Secret 4: Flow Smoothly From Idea To Idea Remember from before when you wanted to use you language in a way that creates smooth transitions? Well, the same is true of your ideas. You want your ideas to flow smoothly, so that one idea moves smoothly to the next. I’ll give you an example of that in a moment. Now the one thing that you can remember of course, is that the more they go into a trance the more they follow your descriptions [and] the more abstract your descriptions can be, because they’ll still follow along. So, let’s imagine that we’re on a beach to do this exercise. What kind of things would you be able to see on a beach? Well, first of all you’ll either see sand or pebbles, because that’s what really defines a beach. You’ll be able to see waters. Now that water might be the water of a lake, or the water of an ocean. The water will have a certain colour, as will the sand. The sky will have a certain colour, maybe there will be clouds in the sky, maybe there won’t. Be careful with the clouds because if you do offer a cloud as a description, make sure that you offer it in a ‘soft-frame’; in other words saying, “perhaps you’ll see clouds”. That way, if they don’t, it doesn’t necessarily jar their reality. You want to always travel smoothly with the actual experience that your listener is having. Now, on a beach you’ll also have certain sensations you’ll be aware of through your hearing. So it will be the sound of the water, perhaps the surf, or the waves lapping against the shore. Maybe there will be animals around, perhaps a seagull, and you might hear the cry of the seagull. There might be some wind, and the sound of the wind as it rustles through the air. There will also be things you can feel. Again, the wind will be something you can feel. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 191 There will be a certain temperature. If it’s daytime, perhaps the sun is shining. If the sun is shining perhaps they’ll feel that particular temperature. Notice how, of course, in the winter the temperature will be different to the summertime. And these are all the descriptions you can offer to someone to really bring that experience to life in someone. So, let’s take a look at an example of this in action. Hypnotic Warning Now, this example will again be including some mild hypnotic language. Which means, if you’re driving a car, or operating any kind of machinery, please stop whatever you are doing so you can put your full attention onto the exercise that is about to follow. Track 10 State inducing method 2 demonstration Everyone’s had the experience of relaxing of some beautiful, sunny beach somewhere. Now a friend of mine, John, recently came back from Mauritius and he had a very similar experience that a lot of people have had, where he could just relax and unwind after a long, long time at work. They find they are just able to let go of everything. I think the interesting thing is, is that John is a writer. And the first thing that he realised…when he arrived at the beach was that the sand was a beautiful golden colour. There was not a speck of dirt on it as these beaches were kept pristinely. As he looked at all that beautiful, yellow sand, he could see out in front of him the waters rushing in. The water was a beautiful blue-turquoise colour, which blended into the sky off of the horizon; there was not a single cloud in the sky. And I don’t know if you could imagine it where the sky and the sea meet there is a nice beautiful, thin line, which goes on for what seems like forever. As he looked at that scene he noticed that his feet were beginning to sink into the sand. And he had this sort of feeling of relaxed comfort-ness, of the cool sand underneath the sand that was on top began to work its way © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 192 into his toes and that when he first realised that he was really at a beach and could finally relax. Now, the sun was warm, but not too hot, and he could feel the temperature against his skin as he began to feel a sense of comfort that that relaxing in the sun brings. Now, before he lay down to close his eyes and relax, he realised that looking around him, there were other people. Some were chatting quietly. And over there in the distance there was a seagull just circling round and round. From time to time he could hear this seagull, and it came almost in a rhythm; the same rhythm as the waves would lapping along the shore by the sea, and at the same time the sunlight would glisten and glitter off of the top of the waves. And John found this whole sight so appealing. He decided to go for a swim. And the first thing he realised when entering the water was the difference in temperature between the air on the outside…and the cool water on the inside. First his feet would notice it, and then his whole legs, and slowly as he walked deeper into the water, more and more of that surrounded him. Sounds had a curious way of reflecting off [of] the surface of the water. And when he put his head underneath the water all of the sounds became faded and muted. Very peaceful and still. And as he swam he could feel his arms moving…his legs kicking in a particular rhythm. At one point he just rolled over onto his back and just drifted, letting the sea carry him, gently. The sun would shine on his face, and being in the beautiful, warm, soft golden glow he began to imagine that golden glow really going through him, unwinding the tension and relaxing every muscle; and all the time just floating…on that beautiful calm ocean scene. Now, the interesting thing is, whilst John had a lot of things to learn at his new place of work, all the new things he was learning seemed to kind of drift lazily though his mind and begin to come together, began to form a pattern, so as john relaxed, drifting in that calm ocean feeling a touch of breeze from time to time against his skin, so his inner mind, his unconscious, will begin to just assimilate all those new experiences and information so that that he could learn. By the time he left that scene, and had gone back to the hotel, it seemed as though so many different things had clicked inside of his mind, and he really didn’t know how it happened; and the interesting things is, he didn’t © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 193 care how it happened, he just enjoyed the experience of letting his inner mind do all the work for a change. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 194 Track 11 Breakdown of state inducing method 2 demonstration So let’s take a quick look at that little induction we just did there. First of all, notice how I set the scene. I set the scene doing a couple of things. First of all, I made sure I pre-selected all the right kind of environments to make sure my description fitted. So because I wasn’t sure what kind of seaside scene you’d normally pick for yourself. I made sure it was a sandy beach instead of a pebbled beach. I made sure it was a sunny day, rather than a cold, blustery day; or even going to the beach at night time. So, I set that scene in advance, which already allowed your mind to select in advance from all your memories of beaches and choose the one that would fit the experience I was going to describe. Now, I used a slight linguistic subtlety, or a technique, called the ‘My Friend John’ -technique. By talking about my friend called ‘John’ and putting all the experiences in his shoes and just describing how he experienced things it allows you to kind of rest back an absorb the information without having to criticise or analyse it. After all, this wasn’t your experience, it was some guy called John. But in order to understand it you have to actualise the experience inside yourself. Now, notice again how I cycled through the various senses- vision, hearing and feelings. And also I allowed one to roll into the other. For example, seeing the waves, you could hear them, or seeing the seagull you could hear it. You could also hear the waves and look over to them. You could also feel the temperature of the sand and look down and see the different layers. Notice how the senses overlap with each other and lead smoothly from one to the other. Notice also how using all the lessons that you have already covered so far. So, we’re using some of the hypnotic principals. We’re using a change in tonality, in pace and in rhythm. I’m also extending my pauses because every time you pause it allows that person time to really actualise the experience. And go inside of it. Pauses are very important to allow people time to reflect and actually have that experience for themselves. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 195 Now, place this experience inside of a kind of a story, and we’ll be covering storytelling in order to beat through or bust through resistance on CD 7 and 9. But the essence of it is something you can do something right away. You don’t even need to tell a story, you can actually quite happily offer description quite directly. Notice how people will change their state as you describe it. Additional Secret 1: Use vivid Metaphors Now, here are a couple of things you can do to improve the effect even more. First of all, you can use vivid metaphors in order to really bring an experience to life. For example, in the old classical world of hypnosis, when a hypnotist would do some of his suggestibility tests, they’d often use vivid metaphors like • • ‘glue being poured over their hands’; or ‘a vice coming and pressing their hands tighter and tighter together’ because it creates a vivid image inside the mind that the unconscious can attach to. So, using these kinds of vivid metaphors can allow it to happen inside of a story or any other framework as well. For example, if you want someone to relax, you can just tell them to relax, or you can tell them it’s just like their muscles are melting right to the floor. Notice how that little metaphor creates a much more powerful impact. You can say relax; or you can say loosen your muscles, let them melt right to the floor. Notice how that improvement enhances the experience. Additional Secret 2: Be A Movie Director Another way to enhance the experience is to take each modality and break it down and polish each of the elements that’s makes it up. So when you see things, you can see colours, but if you see a vivid colour it becomes more intense. Or, you can see a blue ocean, or a beautiful blue ocean. You can see the scene in front of you, or you can see the whole scene expanding wider in front of you, its coming out to meet you. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 196 Now, as a rule of thumb, think of it in terms of cinema. When you go to the cinema, the larger the screen, the wider the screen, the closer to the screen, the louder the sounds and the more intense the experience is going to be for you. So, do the same thing for the people you’re describing things to. Make the scene more vivid by making the picture larger, wider, closer, making the sounds clearer, richer, the colours more vibrant. There’s a big difference between seeing a picture on a small, tiny, black & white screen, than a vivid surround-sound panorama with surround sound stereo! Track 12 How to intensify a response So, now you’ve discovered how to actually access the states in the first place. The next question is -how do you intensify people’s responses in order to create the kind of states that are really worth setting a trigger to? Remember that the key to setting emotional triggers is that they have a pure clear state, and that the state is as strong and intense as possible. That way your trigger will actually set more quickly. The rule of thumb is that the more powerful the state is, the more easily you’ll get to trigger it and re-trigger it later on again. It’s also useful thing to have powerful states, because powerful states lead to powerful behaviours or powerful responses. So, your ability to really intensify people’s responses is going to be one of the key things you’re going to be learning on this particular home-study programme. Now, there are essentially four different techniques that you can use, together or separately, in order to intensify people’s responses. Now, before we get into those four techniques, I want to make sure you have your basics still down. The first thing you need to realise is that some people and in fact, some states, will be easier to get into, and easier to augment than others. Why is this? Well, some people have got a very narrow range of awareness or range that they allow their emotions to escape. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 197 And to get these people into those states will require that much more effort because their neurology has not been used properly in a long, long time. So sometimes it just requires them to get warmed up a little. Other times it requires a little bit of practice over periods of time to get them into better and increasingly stronger states. Now, makes sure when you’re doing this that you have people’s attention totally locked in. The more you have their attention the more you can separate their attention from all the other things, the trivia of everyday life, and the more clearly they will access the state and the more simply your trigger can be set. Now with that in mind, let’s turn to the first technique for intensifying responses. Intensifying Technique 1: Direct Suggestion The first technique is actually pretty direct. Just use your language in order to directly suggest the intensifying of the emotion. Remember, when using your language to include all the principals you’ve been learning on this home-study program. You can include the piggy-back suggestion of compounding effect. You can include the hot words that you’ll be learning on CD 6. You’ll be learning the trance words on this very CD here. All this will come together to give some very straight forward direct suggestions to intensify this feeling. So how will that sound? You can say things like: “Now take that feeling and make it stronger…and stronger still”. That’s a very direct way of putting it. You can also say: “The more you pay attention to this feeling, the more it’ll begin to grow all by itself”. Now, notice how we are getting a little more covert here, a little more indirect. Because all we’re suggesting is that the more they pay attention to their feelings, the more it’ll grow by itself. Now, we’re not telling them to have this experience, and yet they’re still going to have that experience because of the form of the suggestions that you’ve taken. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 198 In fact when you consider the linguistic bridges we covered all the way back on CD 3 you’ll have an almost infinite variety of ways in which you can directly suggest a particular feeling, emotion or state can become intensified. How do I mean this? Well, simply take your linguistic bridges and use that to piggy back suggestions for intensifying the emotion on to any other experience they’re having. In other words, their awareness the way they are thinking the way they are focusing, anything like that. So you may say something like: “Now as you pay attention to that feeling you may notice it beginning to grow, and the more you notice it growing, the more powerful it’ll become. Now you don’t have to pay attention for the feeling to grow right now. Because feelings like theses have a habit of growing all by themselves.” So hopefully from that you’ll realise how simple it really is to suggest that the emotions will intensify. You can do it very directly and go ahead and make those feelings stronger, or you can do it a little more indirect and very smoothly, as in the example I just gave you. Track 13 How to intensify a response – continued… Intensifying Technique 2: Layered Emotional Triggers The next technique for intensifying responses is called layering emotional triggers. Now as the name implies, you are going to lay different layers of emotional triggers one on top of the other, and each layer like a glazing or like a polish on a table, will make it stronger and shine more brightly. Now, what layers of emotional triggers will you put on top of each other? Well, there’s two essential ways you can do this. The first thing you can do is take a whole bunch of different emotions and set triggers for these one at a time, and once you have them, combine them altogether on one master trigger, so that the master trigger becomes a cocktail blend of all these beneficial states. Now, if you do this, make sure that the states match each other. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 199 For example, if you have excitement, energy and power, you don’t want to be adding calm states like tranquillity or calmness, because they take energy away from it. So you’ve got to make sure that these states back each other up and become stronger. A much simpler way of doing this (layering emotional triggers), is to use the same trigger to layer different examples, or different access experiences of the same state. Let’s take this for example. What if you want someone to perhaps relax a little bit more, feel calm? Now let’s say that you describe to them a holiday you’ve been on in which you felt relaxed and calm, and at the peak of that, you set your trigger. Now you ask them about an experience they had, what they like to do to relax. Let’s say they like to read a book, and you go through your questioning technique in order to really revivify or bring that experience back to life for them. And as they go into that experience, you use the exact same trigger again, so now you’ve doubled the emotion on the same trigger. Then you might give another example and put another trigger on top. You may ask them about a different time when they were relaxing, and go through the question process again. So all of a sudden you have four, five, six separate experiences of the same emotion all set to the same trigger. And because they all combine together on the same trigger, they begin to augment, they become more powerful and more intense, every time that you do this. Now the key here of course is that you use the same trigger each time, and that you set the trigger and you don’t move on to the next experience until you’ve set a clear and precise trigger on the first one. Track 14 How to intensify a response – continued… Intensifying Technique 3: Use Modular Enhancers The next technique uses non-verbal, modular enhancers in order to intensify the experience. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 200 So what do we mean by this? Well, if you think about the first technique was using actual words to suggest and intensify the experience, you can create suggestions form all kinds of things, other than words. For example, if I set a trigger and use a quiet word like “calm”. And if I say the same word with more emphasis: “caaalm” [more soothing tone] There’s a suggestion built into the tone to make the same experience stronger. So, you can say to someone “make this a strong experience…make it stronger, stronger and STRONGER still.” And notice how every time my voice gets more powerful, it actually is a nonverbal suggestion. It’s a tonal suggestion to intensify the experience. Now you can do the same thing by the way, in any of the sensory modalities. So you can do it visually, by for example, using a gesture. Let’s say your gesture is a hand waving at the waist level. If you then begin to raise the hand as you’re talking, it begins to suggest that whatever the experience is “make it more” – it begins to lift it [the experience] up. In the same way that moving your hand down tends to suggest “calm things down” to reduces an experience. So now you can use these non-verbal cues as a way actually of telling the unconscious mind “now pump this one up…or tone this one down a little bit”. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 201 Track 15 How to intensify a response – continued… Intensifying Technique 3: Control Inner Pictures The final technique is very straightforward. You’re basically going to take control of people’s inner pictures, sounds and sensations, in order to intensify the feeling portion of the whole thing. How do you do that? Well, whatever pictures they’re making, just ask them to make them brighter, bring them closer. Whatever sounds they hear make them louder, more vibrant. Imagine yourself to be a kind of ‘Steven Spielberg’ of the mind, and really build up all the senses so that it really overloads their neurology and creates a really powerful impact. Now one way to do this is very directly. Give them instructions or descriptions, make them bigger, larger, brighter and all the rest of it. Another way to be more indirect about it, more covert about things, would be to take your storytelling skills and weave all these augmentations of the senses into it. One way, for example, might be to use your gestures to physically make the pictures look larger. So you expand your hands, your eyes look up, you’re creating those senses for yourself. Remember, if you go first, see those pictures becoming bigger, brighter, louder, and then you can describe that or part of your mannerisms will make those pictures become larger for the other person as well. Another way might just to be to use your sensory-rich descriptions in a more clear way. So you can tell them about the vivid colours, the sharpness of the focus of the whole scene, so you’re actually painting a mental picture, which will, in effect, end up intensifying the emotions for them. Track 16 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 202 How to set the emotional trigger Before we begin to look at how to use emotional triggers in the context of persuasion, I’d like to talk a little bit more about setting covert triggers, that is to say, setting emotional triggers which are outside of the other person’s conscious awareness. To a certain extent, we’re constantly setting triggers in other people and totally unaware of it. After all, remember that a trigger is set when you have the cue action or word at the same time as the peaking of an emotional state, and then the unconscious mind associates those two together, so that there’s three things happening at the same time: 1. the emotional state, 2. the actual cue trigger itself, and 3. an association occurring at the unconscious level. Now this is one of the reasons we want to use trance later on, because it helps to create the unconscious connections that we really want to be using. Now, setting an unconscious trigger, one which is outside of normal conscious awareness, is something that you can do in a very straightforward sort of way. One simple way to do this is to use stories and to set the triggers casually within those stories as though you’re gesturing, or by the kind of words that you’re using whilst telling your stories. Now we will look at storytelling in more detail on CD 7 and 9 of this programme. For the moment, rest assured that you can tell a story, and then at the peak of that story you set the trigger. Then you move onto another story, and just as you see the response coming up in the other person. Go back to CD 2 if you need to, and really get your signal recognition systems down, because once you see them really getting into that state, you want to again set your cue, your trigger. It’ll be a word, it’ll be a gesture, or a certain tone of voice, or a physical touch. It doesn’t really matter which of those it is, it can even be a combination of them. The important thing is that you can recreate that trigger anytime you wish to, because that way you get to fire off the trigger and get the results and state at the end of it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 203 The beauty of using storytelling in order to access a state in the first place, is that stories have a habit of depotentiating the conscious mind anyway, because we’re used to when stories come along we’re just suspending our belief and just going along with the flow of things. The important thing with the story is also that it creates these emotional events for people that you can later on set triggers to. So really when it comes down to CD 7 and 9, really spend the time that you need to, to really master the art of storytelling. It’ll help move your covert hypnosis skills to a completely different level. Track 17 The ABSAIL formula for influence Now we’re coming to the end of this CD, and I’d like to take you finally through a simple formula for behavioural change, or to influence people’s behaviours using the principals you’ve learnt on this CD. The formula is called ‘ABSAIL’, and each of those letters stands for a specific step within the process of persuasion. Absorb The ‘A’ stands for absorbed attention that comes straight from the four stage protocol. Bypass The Critical Factor ‘B’ stands for bypass the critical factor, again we’re using the same first two steps of the four stage protocol. State Change The ‘S’ is where you begin to move away from the four stage protocol a little bit, or more accurately, ‘refine’ what we mean by it. ‘S’ stands for state change. So if you want to change someone’s mind, first change their mood. If you want to help someone change their behaviour, first change their mood. So, once you’ve absorbed their attention and bypassed their critical factor, the next step, S is to change their state. Augment & Intensify The ‘A’ and the ‘I’ both stand for augment and intensify. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 204 So you want to augment the actual state and you want to intensify the responses you’re getting, so that you have the most powerful responses you can get. Link to Action Now at that point, you can actually set a trigger or go straight to the ‘L’ – which stands for link to action. So you’ll start with absorbing someone’s attention, bypassing the guard at the gate, the critical factor, you’ll change their state. Then you’ll augment and intensify that state until it becomes really jazzy and buzzing, and once they’re all lit up, their neurology’s lit up like a Christmas tree, you’ll link that emotion, that feeling, directly to the action you want them to take. Now if you want to see the ABSAIL formula in action, you only have to turn on your TV set and watch any advert. The adverts do exactly this, they absorb your attention, they kind of bore you into submission so you bypass your critical factor. Then they’ll change your state and intensify it with images of sexy cars, beautiful women, fantastic locations, whatever it is they happen to be selling. Or, even if it has nothing to do with what they’re selling, they’ll add glamour in some way so that your emotions are strongly aroused, and then they’ll place the product which is what the link into action is all about. In terms of your persuasion strategy, you may want to think of it a little bit like building pressure in a pressure cooker. All the first steps are there designed to build up the pressure in the cooker, and on finding that last step linking to action is like the release where suddenly all the steam comes blowing out. So when you take your time to really set up the conditions properly to access states properly using the access state principal in all the techniques you’ve learnt on this CD, then when you finally come to the action point, the linking to the action, the people who you are trying to influence will be going like a steam train all by themselves. Track 18 (Ex. 1) Exercise 1 Well done! We’ve reached the end of CD 5 so let’s go straight into the exercises. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 205 The first exercise that I’m going to have you practice is to make a list of 5-10 useful states that you can access inside of other people. These states can be things like relaxation, enthusiasm, fascination, curiosity, desire – depending on where you want to use it. Fascination and relaxation, and things like these can be very good for hypnotic work. Curiosity, desire and enthusiasm can be great for motivational work. Step 1 Now, once you have your list of 5-10 states, the first step for you to do is to practice getting into those states yourself. Make them as strong inside of you as possible. And notice the kind of things you must do inside your mind to make that happen. Step 2 The next step, once you can actually experience those states themselves, in otherworld you’ve gone first, tell someone else about each of the memories you used to create those experiences inside of yourself. Remember, go first and watch them follow you. Track 19 (Ex. 2) Exercise 2 The next exercise is pretty straightforward as well. You’re going to take the same 5-10 states that you listed in the first exercise, and you’re going to ask people in your general day-to-day interactions about typical situations in which they would have experienced those sort of states. So for example, you can ask them about a holiday they’ve been to, a book they’ve read recently, a film they’ve gone to, a hobby that they’re into. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as the end result is the kind of state that you had in your original list. Ask them about that and get a little bit meaningful in your questions, just like we’ve been practising earlier during this CD. Whilst you’re doing this I want you to watch their reaction, watch how they begin to drop into that state. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 206 Use your signal recognition system to find out, and then when they’ve seemed to have hit a plateau, a peak level, then simply set your trigger: say a word, touch them maybe on the shoulder or something, or more elegantly still, make a simple gesture that they can see and associate to that. As an addition to this whole exercise, also make a point of listening out for their personal trance words, and once you have found them, make a point of using them as often as you can, just so you notice the effect it has on the other person. Track 20 (Ex. 3) Exercise 3 The final exercise on this CD is one that I’m going to ask you to come back to, after you have finished with CD 7, and maybe even CD 9 on the story telling. The reason for this is I’m going to ask you to start telling stories where you vividly describe the states that you’ve listed in your initial lists. Now, as you’re doing this I want you start using all the intensification of responses that you’ve learnt. So describe the states, layering in multiple states of the same trigger, modulate your non-verbal communications to enhance it, augment their senses with your descriptions and if you need to, make direct comments. Give direct instructions to intensify it was well. I want you start putting this together into a very beautiful and very powerful hypnotic communication. Track 20 End of CD5 Congratulations you’ve reached the end of CD 5. On the next CD, CD 6: Advanced Hypnotic Language, you’re going to start taking hypnotic language to completely new heights. We’re going to explore how to create precision language which has a more powerful and emotional effect on people. We’re going to explore how you’re going to use ambiguous messages so that you begin to communicate on several levels at the same time. One of the powers of hypnosis is the ability to give one message that is heard consciously and completely different message that the unconscious mind will hear and respond to, all in the same conversation. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 207 We’ll also be looking at some of the advanced language techniques for creating confusion and overload to really get past this critical factor, the guardian that is that the gate. Finally, we’ll also look at embedded suggestions, which are yet another way of creating another layer of suggestion – another multi-level approach to creating instructions for the subconscious. Embedded suggestions are beautiful things because you can embed a specific suggestion inside a statement that has nothing to do with the suggestion that you’re giving! So their conscious mind will be thinking along one track completely, whilst at the unconscious they’re getting a completely different message and responding to that in a completely different way. Now enjoy these exercises, and I look forward to seeing you again on CD6: ‘Advanced Hypnotic Language’. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 208 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD6 Advanced Hypnotic Language Track 1: 2m10s Welcome Welcome to CD 6 of the Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Program. On this CD entitled Advanced Hypnotic Language, we will be building on the foundation that you learned on CD 3 in order to give you true mastery of hypnotic language in action. On CD 3 we looked at language in general, how you can use it to induce trances in other people and how to begin to create a flow of language so that you always have something to say. On this CD, we will begin with looking at precision language, the actual words that you use which can create a greater impact with people. So we will be looking at such words as the ones that will bring out emotion in people. We will be looking at words that will actually induce trance all by themselves. We will also be looking at words that will accelerate action and build anticipation and create softer language frames so that you can give an instruction in a way that it will be accepted. Next, we will look at how to bypass a critical factor by overloading or confusing its senses. We will be examining ambiguous language which will allow you to present two messages at the same time, one for the conscious mind to think about and one for the unconscious mind to respond to. We will be looking at overloading and confusing and really taking the conscious mind, the critical factor, by surprise so that your suggestions can slip by unchallenged. Finally, we will be looking at the power of embedded suggestions which allows you to talk to people on several levels at the same time. On the one level, they will hear a conscious message. On another level, they will hear an unconscious message. This alone is one of the most powerful tools of covert hypnosis on influence that you will ever discover. We have an incredibly exciting program to cover on this particular CD. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 209 So get your mind ready to learn because as soon you're ready, you can just sit back, relax, and enjoy learning conversational hypnosis. Track 2: 5m39s Precision language Precision Language Secret 1: Hot Words As we start looking at precision language, the first concept that I want to talk about is what I call “hot words”. Now, take these two sentences as an example. “The infant perished in the flames.” And secondly, “The baby burned to death.” Now, those are both pretty grim statements but notice how the second one impacts on you emotionally much more powerfully than the first one did. That’s because the second sentence, although meaning-wise is identical to the first one, is packed with what I call “hot words”. These are words that have emotional undertones which are packed into the word itself. Let’s just look at those three words to find out how they work. • • • Infant. Perish. Flames. These are three words which themselves are pretty neutral in content. This is, by the way, how all doctors speak in order to keep themselves at a distance from their patients so that they don’t become emotionally involved in their problems. On the other hand, in the second sentence, • • • We have baby. We have burned and We have death. These are three very heavily ladened terms which in our culture, people respond to in a very powerful way. These tend to be universal hot words, in other words, in a particular culture like the western culture of both America and Europe. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 210 Now, the interesting thing is that a lot of people have learned over time to use emotionally disengaging language in order to protect themselves from other people’s reactions. The classic stereotype of this is the university professor or the scientist that is very intelligent but speaks in such alien language that no one really understands what he is talking about. I don’t expect you to be in that bad a shape but at the same time, you can do a lot of things to sensitize yourself in order to begin to build an emotional vocabulary of hot words. Key Insight 1: Hot Words Are The Vocabulary Of The Unconscious An emotional vocabulary is important for conversational hypnosis not just because it moves people and puts them into different states of mind, which in itself is very important, but because the emotions are all the domain of the unconscious mind. So the minute that you have an emotional response from someone, you have an unconscious response. This means that you can begin to utilize that in a hypnotic kind of way. Key Insight 2: Great Sources For Hot Words So where are you going to get your inspiration for hot words from? Well, there are many different places that you can get it. The people that are particular masters of the use of hot words are people like politicians, motivational speakers, and even those teachers that inspired you to do better in school or improve yourself in some way or another. Another area in which you can get motivational inspiration for finding hot words, believe it or not, is in those sensationalist tabloid newspapers. Key Insight 3: Contrast Hot Words For Greater Impact Consider the following headline. “Mayor is secret drug addict.” Now, what makes that such a powerful headline? Let’s look at the three hot words used there. • • • Mayor. Secret and the phrase “drug addict”. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 211 The mayor is someone who in its stereotype or archetype is someone who is sober, who represents the values of a community, and is typically a leader in his field. Now, drug addict is emotionally laden to be completely opposite of the experience. In other words, it’s someone who is a dropout, someone who is considered to be a loser, someone who is endangering his own and other people’s health, possibly even a criminal element. So to put mayor and drug addict next to each other creates a tremendous impact because of a dissonance between the two. There is a great contrast which makes the mayor stand out more strongly and the drug addict seems so much stronger as well. In between the two, we have the word “secret”. The word secret, of course, is something which piques people’s curiosity and we’ve been trained over time to want to discover secrets. In other words, what a secret is about. The minute someone says, “I have a secret,” everyone seems to be interested in that. So now we have the makings of a perfect headline: • • We have the contrast between the figure of sobriety and the figure of depravity: mayor and drug addict. In between, we have this piquing of curiosity with the word secret. Not a single word in that headline has been wasted in the way that it manipulates your emotions or gets a response out of you. Task 1: Discover Hot Words So there are two things that I want you to do with hot words. The first thing is I want you to go out and discover as many different hot words that you have to enrich your vocabulary with hot words and start using them. Task 2: Use Hot Words Talk about babies instead of infants. Start talking about secrets instead of unknown factors. As you're doing all of this, begin to experiment with this principle of contrasting emotions. • Mayor versus drug addict. • Baby versus burning. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 212 Remember, baby is something which someone wants to protect and look after. Burning is all about pain and destruction. So again, the same juxtaposition. The same contrast of positions is making the statement even more powerful. This is one of the big secrets behind creating impact with people. Sometimes, just offering a positive is not enough. It’s offering a positive in contrast to a negative which doubles the impact of the positive itself. So, go ahead and find your own vocabulary of hot words to start using and bear that contrast principle in mind. Track 3: 3m21s Precision language – continued… Precision Language Secret 2: Hypnotic Words The next concept that I want to talk about is this idea of hypnotic words. Now, hypnotic words are a specific kind of hot word which are designed to cause trance or begin the process of trance in someone else. So if you go back to the very first CD and think about the four-stage protocol that we talked about. There are four stages that people go through in a hypnotic experience. 1. 2. 3. 4. We start off with the absorption or fixation of attention. Then we move on to bypassing the critical factor, Getting an unconscious response, And finally using that unconscious response. Now, hypnotic words can work at any one of those four stages to recreate that experience. Here’s what I mean by that. Take words like • • • • fascination, focus, hypnosis, mesmerized. What do all of these things have in common? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 213 Key Insight 1: Hypnotic Words Revivify Experiences In order to understand how that word works, inside someone much actually activate experience to a certain extent. If I say to you the word relax, the only way that you can understand it, to take it outside of the meaningless jumble of sounds, is for you to go inside and access all of the memories that you have, all of the associations that you have to the word relax which means to have feelings of relaxation. You have memories of maybe being at a party where you were relaxed. You have maybe memories of lying on a beach, the sound of the surf. All of these different memories come together in a big memory cluster which is focused on that single word relax. In the same way, hypnotic words revolve around hypnotic ideas. The first stage of the hypnotic protocol is to fixate or absorb someone’s attention. So any word that implies the fixation of their attention will already begin to activate inside someone’s neurology the very trance responses that you want for the first stage of the protocol. So write down as many different words as you can that imply the word: • • • • • • fascination, focus, curiosity, riveted, mesmerized, hypnotized. You see how all of these words have the same kind of connotations in taking the same directions. Key Insight 2: Use Hypnotic Words In Layers Now, by themselves they may only begin the process of trance. But when you begin to put them into things like inductions, direct or indirect, they will begin to loop around these themes over and over again and begin to create something very powerful. Because the more you layer hypnotic suggestions in different formats, the more someone will access that particular experience. In a moment, we will come on to hypnotic themes as their own category. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 214 But before that, just think of as many different words that imply trance just by its nature. Not just in the first stage category, in other words, fixation of attention. How about bypassing the critical factor, activating an unconscious response and utilizing those? So, words like “spontaneous” implies a bypass of normal conscious processes and an unconscious response which is basically stages two and three built into one simple word. Begin to make a list of all those different words because you will be using them extensively in your conversational hypnosis career. Track 4: 2m33s Precision language – continued… Precision Language Secret 3: Hypnotic Themes The next category is really related to the hypnotic words. I call this hypnotic themes. Hypnotic words themselves were just the individual words which are packed with hypnotic meaning. A hypnotic theme is taking that to a wider context which is a general activity or an idea which has hypnotic characters built into it. What kind of activities do I mean? You might be at the cinema, totally absorbed in the film that you are watching, going through the highs and lows, the emotional experiences of the characters. Have you been to the theater and been so riveted by the drama unfolding on stage that you lost your own sense of awareness? Perhaps you’ve been a runner and noticed that when you are running everything else seems to disappear and it’s just you and the rhythm that you are building. Perhaps you like to sit down and read a book at night and enjoy the quiet as you get absorbed in the story line and everything else around you seems to fade away. Notice that each one of these experiences, again, has the hypnotic elements, the four stages of the hypnotic protocol built into it. But this time you have the wider experience. This is something that you have already discovered on the previous CD, on CD 5, on emotional triggers. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 215 When you give rich sensual descriptions of some of the processes like lying on a beach or going hiking in the woods, what you are really doing is you are talking about a hypnotic theme. The more that you talk about this hypnotic theme the more someone’s mind gets engaged in that theme. The more their neurology begins to activate all the right staging posts, the four stages of the hypnotic protocol. And a form of trance will begin to be activated. These trances will not necessarily be the kinds of things that you see on stage or TV where people just slump over in their chair, although that can happen. Normally, there is a bit of social programming involved which means people will remain open-eyed and at least smiling or nodding in some way even though you will notice that the eyes become a little bit more glossy perhaps. The pupils will dilate slightly. Their breathing will regulate and all the other trance signals that you’ve started to spot ever since the signal recognition sessions on CD 2. So use hypnotic themes in all of your communications because they're very, very powerful things. They set the scene in a very powerful way for the rest of your conversational hypnosis skills to really make an impact. Track 5: 2m50s Precision language – continued… Precision Language Secret 4: Personal Trance Words The next category is again related to hypnotic words. These are called personal trance words or phrases. To contrast personal trance words with hypnotic words, a hypnotic word has a universal meaning. In other words, most people who speak the English language will respond to it in the same way. A personal trance word, on the other hand, is something that is unique to the individual and has special significance to that person. A very famous example of this is in the film Citizen Kane. [Available from Amazon.com ASIN B0 0003 CX9 E] In that film, we have the rich business tycoon that dies and the dying words on his lips are the words “Rosebud”. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 216 For the entire film no one knows what that means and why he said that. It turns out in the end that Rosebud was the name of a sleigh he [the business tycoon] had when he was a child – and to him it implied all the youthful innocence, happiness, and lack of responsibility that he had back then. This was such a powerful thing. This powerful, wealthy, old man could only think about Rosebud, his sleigh, on his deathbed. Now, all of us have personal trance words which have equally deep significance for us. Some of these significances will be negative and some will be positive. Be careful that you only use the positive ones when you interact with people. Key Insight 1: How To Spot Personal Trance Words How do you spot a trance word, a personal trance word? These are the words that people will lean on unconsciously. They will tend to use these words over and over again and lean on them in the way that they express them both physiologically and in an emotional undercurrent and the tonality itself. For example, someone might come back from a holiday and tell you how amazing the holiday was. The food was amazing and the people were amazing. All the things that they were doing were just amazing. Notice how that word amazing has become an emotional trigger for that person. Key Insight 2: Use The Same Tonality It’s not just the word itself. It’s also the tonality, the way that it’s expressed. The tonal pattern itself. The closer that you can get to mimicking the tonal pattern and getting the same tonality, the rhythm, and all those other things, the more accurately you will trigger the part of their neurology where all those experiences are stored and revivify it and bring it back to life. This is, in essence, a type of emotional trigger which instead of doing it by touch or by a particular gesture, you do it purely tonally. It’s the word and the way the word is pronounced and enunciated, and the tonalities, etc. that really make this powerful. So go out and begin to notice how other people really rely on certain words, really lean on them to make them more meaningful. Track 6: 5m56s © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 217 Precision language – continued… Precision Language Secret 5: Action Accelerators The next concept in precision language is the idea of action accelerators. An action accelerator is a new word that can be added to your normal hypnotic communication – your normal hypnotic flow – in order to augment its impact. Action accelerators are designed to make the unconscious mind want do something more quickly or more efficiently. It puts a little bit of pressure on someone in order to respond more fully in the moment. Words like • • • • • • • • now, fully, instantly, quickly, immediately, suddenly, all at once, abruptly. Key Insight 1: Use Social Pressure To Get Unconscious Responses Notice how all of these words have the affect of putting a little bit of pressure on someone and you’ll notice that if you put pressure on someone you tend to get more unconscious responses. Magicians, stage magicians, throughout the years have known that if they wanted to have someone pick a certain card, they would offer it in a certain way, and at the same time, they will put them under pressure to choose quickly. “Choose any card you want to choose. Any card. Quickly.” Why? Because that pressure means instead of thinking about it, instead of secondguessing themselves, the only thing that will come out will be a genuine, unadulterated, unconscious response. Now bear in mind that action accelerators are powerful. There is absolutely a time when it’s the right thing to do to put someone under pressure to perform and deliver something more quickly. Just as there is also a time when it is better to sit back, relax and let nature take its course. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 218 I can't give you a blueprint for when the right time is for what because it depends on the individual, the context, and the circumstances. Your experience will guide you there. For the moment, just start experimenting with words like • • • fully, abruptly, immediately, in order to get people engaged and a little bit under pressure to respond at the unconscious level. Track 7: 1m48s Precision language – continued… Precision Language Secret 6: Anticipation Builders The next category is something called anticipation builders. Have you ever noticed how you want to do something more if someone tells you you can't do it or you can't have it? Key Insight 1: Frustrating A Response Will Intensify It It is a little bit like a child when we were growing up before Christmas. The weeks before Christmas would be sheer, delicious, agony awaiting to see all those presents unwrapped and the Christmas tree all lit up. Every day as things came closer and more of the Christmas atmosphere would develop, the more excited the anticipation would build up inside. Why? Because it could not be gratified straight away. The general principle is as soon as you frustrate a response a little bit it will want to strengthen. In other words, it will get stronger and stronger. So anticipation builders are little linguistic devices designed to create that. You have words like • • • • gradually, eventually, in time, not yet, © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 219 • • • • • finally, in a moment, sooner or later, in due course, slowly. Notice how all of these words and many, many more have the effect of slowing someone down. Holding them back. The image that I have in my mind is of a racehorse, chomping at the bit, just wanting to get going and of the rider just pulling back and saying, “Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.” Then when you finally release all that built up anticipation, it becomes very, very powerful. Anticipation builders can work really well in conjunction with action accelerators because you build a lot of potential with the anticipation builders. You release that potential when they are ready to go for it with an action accelerator. Notice how all of these precision language patterns all work together to create a more powerful effect. Track 8: 3m36 Precision language – continued… Precision Language Secret 7: Language Softeners The final concept that I'm going to include on the precision language is something that I call language softeners. Language softeners are phrases like • • • • • perhaps, maybe, you might, could, I'm not sure if, which you can put at the head or the middle of a sentence. Particularly an instruction in order to soften the impact a little bit. Key Insight 1: Soften Commands To Avoid Antagonising people A lot of people don’t like to be told what to do. Say to someone, “Open the door. Close the door.” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 220 That can seem like a very harsh command, a very direct sort of way of expressing yourself. By the way, those things are very, very effective and have their right place as well. But sometimes, especially with the personality type that hates authority or doesn’t like to be told what to do as much, you have to couch it in a way that they can find more acceptable. Instead of saying, “Close the door.” You might use, “Perhaps you could close your door in a moment.” Notice how that softens the whole frame. The instruction is still there but it comes across a little more gently and a little less in your face. Examples would be things like instead of ‘open the window’ – ‘could you open the window?’ Key Insight 2: Make A Failure To Respond To A Suggestion Irrelevant When it comes to hypnosis, there is a specific use that language softness can be used for and it makes it more powerful again. In hypnosis, often you will ask people to do certain things internally. For example, imagine a certain scene, feel a certain sensation. The problem, of course, is if you say to someone, “Feel yourself becoming more comfortable,” it’s a direct instruction and for some reason they don’t experience that comfort straight away. You may begin to lose some of the hypnotic rapport that we talked about before because the instructions and their reality don’t match. In other words, they begin to lose faith in the hypnotist. It is a very bad thing to happen. One way to counter that is to begin to give them choices which are instructions and at the same time are soft enough so they don’t have to have them straight away. For example, instead of, “Imagine yourself in a relaxed bed.” We might say, “You could imagine yourself in a relaxed bed.” They can't argue with that because they could imagine themselves – whether they do it or not is irrelevant. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 221 Some people at that point will imagine themselves in a relaxed bed. Others may not do so but you still haven't broken the flow of ideas because they still have to say yes to that. It is still part of a yes set that we talked about before. So this is a very powerful way of introducing new ideas to someone without them necessarily resisting it. Particularly if you want them to go into new directions, into something that they haven't previously experienced before. Key Insight 3: There Are Times To Be Direct And Drop The Soft Language A word of caution: Ericksonian hypnosis, indirect hypnosis which conversational hypnosis was born out of, is renowned for being soft in its language in that way, giving lots of options to people. Please remember this, Milton Erickson himself, the very person that created that entire branch of hypnosis is a person that trained as a classical hypnotist and still would use very direct suggestions when the time was right. So it is still very much a sense of gut feeling, a sense of understanding what point you are at with this particular person in front of you to know when it’s time to be a little soft and when it’s time to be very, very direct. The rule of thumb, again, is the more someone is in a trance, the more direct you can be with them. The more someone is outside a trance, the more indirect or the softer you become in order to not activate resistance from their critical factor. Track 9: 0m45s Hypnotic Warning On the next track, I'm going to give you an example of how you can combine the language from your hypnotic language foundation on CD 3 together with the precision language that you just learned from this CD here. In order for me to make it more simple, let me use a simple hypnotic theme, the word relax. We’re going to rift around that in order to bring in the various types of language softeners and hypnotic words and hypnotic themes. This is a hypnotic extract which means that if you are driving a car or operating any kind of machinery don’t listen to the next track until you are ready to stop whatever you are doing and put all of your full attention safely on to listening and learning conversational hypnosis. Track 10: 3m28s Precision language demonstrations © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 222 Everyone knows how to relax. Now I don’t know how you will relax normally. People find themselves falling into relaxation in all kinds of different ways. A person can, you know, imagine drifting on a soft white cloud and feeling the comfort penetrate through their skin, their muscles, all the way into their internal experience. Like a warm gentle rain drifting down through the body. Wherever the drain seems to have come, it begins to drain away all tensions and pressures. And all that is left is the relaxed attention that you can experience. Soon it will be your turn to experience relaxation. And it’s a good thing that you can relax because soon your mind will find in it the most comfortable memory. Perhaps sitting by a warm fire looking and focusing on those flames dancing, fascinated by all the shapes and memories inside. I wonder how many memories of relaxation can you find inside to help you to relax. Perhaps you're curious about the secret to relaxation. It’s a simple secret. Suddenly, everything becomes easier when you realize that all you need to do is focus all of your awareness on the most comfortable part of your body and gradually, slowly in time it begins to grow until suddenly you find yourself totally relaxed from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. I'm not sure just how you know that you’ve experienced that complete relaxation. Perhaps you will find yourself drifting as through a cloud of warm and pleasant feelings. Perhaps you’ll remember that you have all kinds of relaxing memories inside you and you really should discover for yourself that relaxation can be experienced in many different ways. When you have that, your ability to learn conversational hypnosis will continue to grow every day. That you notice any part of your body relaxing let that be a sign that your unconscious mind is integrating conversational hypnosis now. Track 11: 3m08s The language trick Ambiguous messages The next concept that I want to talk about is ambiguous messages. Now in the English language, there are many words that cover several meanings simultaneously. Let’s take the word bank, for example. The minute you hear the word bank most people think about the bank you place your money in. But bank also means the bank by the side of a river, which is a very different kind of bank. There is also another kind of bank, which is a maneuver in an airplane we’ll cover. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 223 So depending on where you are and what context you're in, the different types of bank will be the one that springs first into your mind. What is happening, the unconscious mind when it hears the word bank, it must analyze it, all the possible meanings, and select the most appropriate one for you given the circumstances. Which means that the context that you create will prime the actual responses that you get. This becomes very interesting particularly when we come on to embedded suggestions later because it gives you the ability to actually speak to people on multiple levels at the same time. Ambiguities allow you to give the conscious mind one particular message while the unconscious mind, which is processing all possibilities, also begins to track a separate message underneath the first. As an example, I could say to you the words, “And then we were ready to bank.” Now, I could tell that in the context of sitting in an airplane and flying through the air and now we’re ready to bank to make our next maneuver. Now let’s say that in this particular context however, I'm trying to help you to use your money more wisely and start banking with it instead of just keeping it under your mattress. So provided that we have set up a context in advance or perhaps the idea has been planted, seeded, as you have learned how to seed suggestions in the past, it also comes when you can use such embedded suggestions, which we will come onto in a moment. While you are listening to the story about flying high and about the airplane “just being ready to bank now”, the same message ‘ready to bank’ at the unconscious level will begin to attach to the alternative meanings: • • being ready to bank and go to a bank and start using these things. This is a very sophisticated concept. This is beginning to introduce the idea of multiple layers of meaning and multiple layers of communication occurring at the same time. It happens all the time, people just aren’t aware of it. Now you begin to sensitize yourself to this and it allows you to create very rich, double meanings which can affect people in different ways. If you want to have a place where this happens organically or naturally, read many of Shakespeare’s plays and you will find little puns and word plays which occur there which have several layers of meanings occurring at the same time. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 224 In that case, it’s a little bit more obvious and people can track it consciously. When it comes to embedded suggestions, I’ll show you a way of doing that in a way that people will track it unconsciously. Again, it bypasses the critical factor. Track 12: 1m59s The language trick – continued… The Language Of Confusion Let’s talk a little bit about the language of confusion now. Confusion is a very powerful resource in conversational hypnosis because confusion basically ties up the intellect. It ties up the critical factor, the guardian of the gate, so that you are ready to go sailing by with your plane suggestions. Think of confusion as the intellectual equivalent of conversational jujitsu where you basically tackle someone and tie them up in knots. While they are busy trying to extricate themselves from that, the door is wide open to roll your suggestion straight into the unconscious mind. The first way that you can really learn to master confusion language is to start layering double meanings like the ambiguous messages that we just talked about. For example, let’s take the words “left” and “right”. Now, it’s not right that you always take the things I left over because the right way to do things is sometimes the one way which is left over when people start thinking about things. Now if you come to a fork in the road, you can turn left or you can turn right. People may sit and wonder which one is the right way to take but when you eliminate the wrong ways, the one that is left must be the right way to take. So you don’t have to think about left and right anymore but so much more as what’s left over is always the right thing to do. Now think about what I just said. If you're not confused by now, well, then you can track a lot more than the average person can. This is just using left and right. Any double meaning can be used in the same way to layer on top of each other all the meanings confusing each other. It is because you have to track all of the different types of meanings of left and right that the conscious mind overloads and shorts out at some point. So any time that you come across a word that has a double meaning and you use that word’s full meaning in several different ways in the same sentence it © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 225 tends to overload people so that eventually it is given up and they follow the suggestions that you implanted within it. Track 13: 0m58s The language trick – continued… Double Negation The next confusional pattern is double negations or double negatives. The mind finds it very difficult to actually deal with negatives because negations don’t actually exist in the real world. If I say to you, “I don’t have a car,”… – the thing that you have to think about first is the car. Then you have to negate it and get rid of it. Okay? So if I tell you that “I don’t have a car that doesn’t work,”… – now you have to work twice as hard because there are two negations that you have to work in. But if I tell you, “I can't not have a car that doesn’t work any better than you can relax now.” Notice what just happened. Notice how you overload on all of those double negatives and trying to figure out what’s going on so when the final message comes ‘relax now’ it slips right back in. It’s very difficult to resist it. That was just a five-second example of confusional language in action. It’s a very powerful pattern so really practice it well. Track 14: 2m15s The language trick – continued… The Overloading With Details The next pattern of confusion is to overload people with details. The conscious mind can only handle seven plus or minus two bits of information. That means if I give you a random string of say, five numbers, most people can remember them. If I give you seven numbers, it starts getting tricky. By the time it gets to nine numbers, very few people can hold it in their consciousness. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 226 Beyond that, it takes an exceptionally skilled mind, a particularly well trained mind, in order to be able to hold all of those numbers at the same time. The same is true of any facts. If I give you a whole bunch of facts to remember, eventually your mind overloads. It no longer knows which facts are important, which ones to analyze and which ones to reject. When the conscious is overloaded the gates come crashing down and everything starts flowing in more smoothly. Someone who is actually keeping careful track is probably going to keep track of the wrong things, which mean that your unconscious suggestion will still slip by on the wayside. How do we do this? Well, it’s simply in the form of storytelling or in the form of any kind of informational interaction. Just give them lots of details. For example: I went racing with my cousin who has a Porsche. But he has a Porsche 911 which is different from a Porsche Carerra. His car is gray, metallic silver. The lady downstairs, her name is Eldred. Eldred is a racing driver and a racing instructor for Porsche. She drives a Porsche Carerra with a racing cage inside. So we have Sasha with a 911 which is gray metallic and we have Eldred with a Carerra which is in racing colors. Oh, and it has a roll-cage inside. Now those are just two of the seven racers. Think about what is happening right now. If you are not overloading on those details already, then you're an exceptional person. Think about anytime that you meet someone new and they start telling you about their family and their friends and all of these crazy names start popping in and out and you don’t know which name relates to whom and who says what and who does what. You are so busy trying to figure out all of the relationships in between that, all the hypnotic elements are actually working because the critical factor is all tied up. Again, practice this as well because it is a very powerful pattern. Track 15: 3m06s The language trick – continued… The change of meaning The next confusion pattern is the spontaneous change of meaning. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 227 If I say to you, “Go ahead right into trance now.” Notice how I have actually combined two different sentences into one and I've kind of fudged the corners, the edges of the reality between them by using, again, ambiguous message. “Go ahead” is a normal statement. “Head right into trance” is another normal statement. “Go ahead right into trance now” begins to fudge the barrier between those two statements and makes them into one. Because you have a sudden change of direction, it surprises the guardian of the gate, confuses him because for a moment he goes, “Hang on a second, that doesn’t fit.” But by then you are on a different track altogether and everybody moves smoothly into hypnotic elements. Another way to use this change of meaning, spontaneous change of meaning, is to introduce a suggestion and carry on with the old idea as though nothing ever happened. Because you are carrying on through, people don’t have time in their mind to jump back and think about it. But because something unusual happened, there is an unconscious “aha” moment. And the unconscious spots it, “Hey, something is going on” and decides to do something about it or at least to store it. If more and more of these things are happening, it suddenly goes, “There’s a pattern here.” It begins to pay attention to the pattern as well as the overt communication itself. You don’t necessarily have to rely on an ambiguity to create this change of meaning spontaneously. The way to do this very simply is to take two statements, two sentences, one of which begins with the same word or the same phrase as the other one ends with. For example: “You can relax now is the time to learn about conversational hypnosis.” Notice how, in that statement, I have the two sentences: • • “You can relax now,” and, “Now is the time to learn about conversational hypnosis.” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 228 Because they both begin with the same word “now”, all you do is collapse a word into one and you run the sentence through as though you forgot that you were changing topic. Go ahead and construct your own ones and begin to just drop them just one at a time into normal conversations. Remember, the secret here is to drop them casually and see if anyone notices. Just keep running through. Don’t litter your entire conversation with these things because they will get annoying and overbearing. In fact, this is a general point for all kinds of confusional language. Don’t suddenly become the most confusing person on earth that no one can understand because that can be very counter productive. Confusion is a very powerful pattern to use, but know when it’s time to use it and it’s more like the spices that you put on a meal. Put in too much and you’ve ruined the meal. Put in too little and the meal is bland. But with the just the right amount, just the right hint of spices and suddenly the meal becomes a wonderful thing. Track 16: 2m53s The language trick – continued… Shock & Surprise The final category that I want to cover is the study of shock and surprise. Anytime you shock or surprise someone, you basically bounce the critical factor offline. It doesn’t know what to do anymore and it creates a sudden kind of trance induction itself. In the old days, classical hypnosis would use this, for example, with the classic shock induction where you have someone dramatically yelling “sleep”’ to someone as they come on stage. They might grab their hand and yank it a little bit and yell “sleep” or tip them backwards, yell “sleep” and push them towards the ground. These can be very dramatic inductions because the shock of that “sleep” itself just totally overloads their thinking patterns and all that’s left is unconscious thinking patterns. Shock and surprise is used very effectively by all kinds of other people. For example, a SWAT team when they come breaking into a house to arrest the criminals will come in and suddenly just make a huge amount of noise. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 229 The door crashes in, there are people rushing everywhere and what’s the first thing that happens? Of course, everyone in the house goes into total shock. Unless they are prepared in some way for that happening and are expecting it in some respects, they will go into total shock so that when the SWAT team starts yelling at them, “Get down. Get down. Get down,” simple, very clear instructions, simple, very clear suggestions, they actually respond to it. You actually have the case where a lot of people who normally would be die-hard criminals, who would pick up their guns and fight back, will be caught so by surprise that they can do nothing but follow the instructions because they have been overloaded. Their critical factor has been overloaded and they just follow the suggestion. Shock and surprise can be done with an overload like in the example of the SWAT team. It can also be done in the way that you use the language itself. In other words, you might introduce a theme which is a little shocking because it doesn’t actually fit the scenario that you normally talk about. Jokes actually work on the shock and surprise methodology. A joke is funny because suddenly the end of it is so outrageous or just so unexpected in some ways that it actually shocks you into a little trance, into a trance and an emotional response. The way that you come back out of it is the pleasure of laughing. The only word of warning that I would use about using shock and surprise as a hypnotic technique is that it can be very shocking. It can be very surprising. Some people react badly to it so you have to make sure that you have the right type of shock or the right type of surprise for the individual and you need to know the time to do it and the time not do it. For example, don’t start shocking and surprising people while they're driving a car. This should really be self-evident and if you use your common sense, you really won't go far wrong. Track 17: 0m32s Hypnotic Warning Here is an example of confusional language in action. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 230 It’s called the amnesia technique because it’s designed to create amnesia, to get people to forget certain things. This is a hypnotic pattern in action and because it is a hypnotic pattern in action, if you are driving a car or operating any kind of machinery, make sure you stop what you are doing before you continue. It’s only when you can put full attention on learning conversational hypnosis now that you can go on to the next track and really enjoy the learning experience prepared for you. Track 18: 1m30s The language trick demonstration The Amnesia Language Pattern Now, you’ve learned a lot of things in this course already and you may be tempted to try and remember all of it. Forget that. You see, everyone has had the experience of forgetting to remember things in the past but the only times you remember what you forgot is when it was something worth remembering that you didn't. Really, it’s your unconscious mind’s job to remember what is worth remembering and forgetting what you should not remember and when you do that your mind will be free to remember only those things that you didn't have to forget because you're still learning new things. You really don’t have to remember to remember what you find useful. You don’t even have to remember not to forget what you really liked. Just forget to remember the things that you no longer need in your life and you’ll remember everything else. And if there’s one thing worth remembering it is to really let your unconscious mind sort all this complicated stuff out for you. After all, that is its job. Your job is to simply sit comfortably and remember a more pleasant time while you forget all of these tedious things that you really don’t make sense now. So go ahead and drift down memory lane for a while, while your unconscious mind remembers to sort out all the things that you can forget now because that way, you’ll find it easier to remember the good things that are always worth remembering. Track 19: 6m08s Embedded suggestions The next topic of conversational hypnosis that I want to discuss is very important and very, very powerful. It’s called embedded suggestions. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 231 Now let me talk a little bit about the history of embedded suggestions so you understand more where they come from and how you can use them. Embedded suggestions didn't exist before the 1940s or 1950s. They were really discovered by this great hypnotherapist, Dr. Milton Erickson. Dr. Erickson, he used to work in the Worcester State Hospital. One of the things that he used to do was to work with the various inmates which were basically mentally disturbed patients including a whole slew of schizophrenics. Now there was a theory running around at the time that all the random utterings of schizophrenics, the words that came out of their mouths, had to mean something. If only someone could find the Rosetta Stone to decode the meaning! They tried all kinds of things, metaphors and all kinds of other different ideas. One day, Dr. Erickson decided to look at these scripts for himself. These were reams and reams of notes of verbatim transcripts of the utterings of schizophrenics. Suddenly, Erickson has this thunderbolt of enlightment. He decides, “What if most of these words are this genuine rubbish but the real message is hidden inside the rubbish like an uncut diamond, like a needle in a haystack.” So he began the process of analyzing reams and reams of these papers and sure enough right in the middle of these he found embedded, buried, secret statements asking for help, explaining the condition that the various patients were in. Now, this was just a theory. What if he was just finding these words randomly and they had no real significance? So Erickson decided to test this. The way that he did this was particularly ingenious. One of the secretaries working at the hospital at the time suffered from terrible migraines. The only way she knew how to get rid of these migraines would be to lie down in a darkened room with a towel over her head and just sleep it off. Now one of these days, Erickson decided to test his theory out. What he did was, he took these reams of word salad and he lifted out all the embedded statements about the suffering that these poor schizophrenics were in. Instead of those statements, he placed inside it statements about the headache going away, about general health, about feeling good, about relaxation, calm, cool, comfort, etc. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 232 So the day finally comes when the secretary has a headache but instead of letting her lie down and rest, he insists that she takes his dictation. Now a doctor in the 1950s has a lot of authority. So, she grumbles and sits down and takes his dictation. The dictation, of course, is this word salad, this meaningless jumble with these therapeutic suggestions embedded inside of it. As he is reading this meaningless jumble, he makes sure to lightly emphasis the particular words which are embedded suggestions in just a very small way but consistently. Sure enough, within ten minutes the headache of the secretary completely disappeared. She was stunned! It had never happened before that her migraine would disappear purely by taking dictation. You can believe that that secretary suddenly found it very important to take a lot of dictation from Erickson. The principle itself has been studied many times since then. It’s what is called unconscious priming in the psychological literature. In essence what happens is, the unconscious mind is a tremendous mechanism at detecting patterns in life. A lot of people have what is called implicit knowledge. That is to say that you know how to do something, you just don’t know where you learned it or where you picked it up from. For example, everyone in western culture knows that a head nod means yes and a shaking of the head means no. In some countries, the reverse is actually true. But no one actually sat you down and taught you the art of head nodding or taught you the art of head shaking. It’s something that you picked up implicitly, almost in the background, because your unconscious mind saw these patterns develop. An interesting study did the very same thing in a more complicated way. They gave people a list of random sentences just to read through. These lists would have certain words embedded within them. For example, the first sentence might say something like, “Oranges are great this time of year.” Another one may talk about an old coat, another one about Florida itself. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 233 Now the interesting thing about all of these statements was that while they looked like random utterances every single one of these statements had a word within it which had an association to old age, particularly for the American audience for which it was aimed at. So you had oranges, old, aged, Florida, all the these things were concepts which are associated with old age. Here’s the interesting part. They measured the speed at which people walked into the examination room where they had read through these lists and do whatever they had to do with them. Then they also measured how quickly they walked down the corridor out of the whole place. Everyone who took the test actually walked back down the corridor on average more slowly than people who used an un-primed test, just a random series of words which had no priming inside them. So the unconscious mind is not only very good at detecting the patterns, it also responds to them as instructions. This is the power of embedded suggestion. It allows you to talk directly to the unconscious mind while the guard at the gate is totally unaware of what is happening and so responds to you in a very, very powerful, very direct level. This is the subtle art of embedded suggestion that you will be learning here. Study it well because it is one of the patterns that distinguishes the novice from the true masters. Track 20 Ex1: 3m54s Exercise 1 So now that you have the idea of how to use embedded suggestions, how can you actually do it? Remember the core way of marking out any embedded suggestion is that you’ve got to create a pattern for the unconscious mind to recognize. There are all kinds of patterns that you can use. You can use physical patterns, movements, tonal shifts, pauses and all of these different things. I'm going to give you a couple of exercises now that you can practice on your own until you get really good at least three or four different ways in which you can mark a suggestion out for the unconscious mind to notice. The first way to mark it out is to simply use a gesture every time that you want to mark out a particular word. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 234 Let’s take the word for example, of relaxing. Let’s say that you want to mark this out. If every time you say the word relax, you perhaps lift an eyebrow or perhaps open the palm of one of your hands. You could be talking about anything at all, a story perhaps, and you said to your friend, “Hey, just relax.” The moment the word relax comes out, your hand opens, or your eyebrow rises. Then you carry on telling the story and you say, “I was just lying down in the chair and I just felt so relaxed.” Again, your hand opens, your eyebrow raises so that the only thing that you have to do is very simple although it may be very tricky or difficult to get hold of in the beginning. The only thing you must do is to consistently make the same gesture whenever the word relax comes out. Now once you can do it with one word, the word relax, then you can begin to build in more and more embedded suggestions using the same gesture. The same gesture doesn’t have to be for the same word. You can use all of the unconscious information and embed it out or mark it out with that particular gesture. So you could have the sentence, “Relax, feel good, go deeper, relax, listen, pay attention, relax, and feel good.” So these are all simple suggestions which can be strung out as part of a bigger story. For example: I went to the dentist and I sat down but I really didn't feel relaxed. Now I talked to myself and said, “You really have to calm down.” It’s not that I have to feel good about being at the dentist; it’s just a question of relaxing and allowing things to happen as they do. So notice how the overt story is one about being at the dentist and just a general little description but really it provides a vehicle for me to embed in suggestions that I want to implant. Now, we will talk about storytelling a little bit more on the next CD. During this CD, the very first exercise that I want you to do is to just get your language pattern cards out and on the dotted parts in between the language pattern cards, you will put the word relax in. Only this time, I want you to actually make a physical gesture as you say the word relax. Here’s an example to start you off. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 235 Everyone can relax… (with a gesture). Can you imagine how relaxed… (with a gesture) you can be? Have you ever been so relaxed… (with a gesture) that you just simply fall asleep all by yourself? Now you really should discover for yourself that relaxation (with a gesture) is a natural phenomenon. So you see how all I'm doing is just fitting the word relax in between the language pattern cards that you already have in the back of your manual and making the gesture as soon as the suggestion that I want to embed comes out. It is literally as simple as that. Do this until you can make those gestures smoothly then perhaps make a few different gestures so that you have several gestures that you can embed different messages simultaneously. Track 21 Ex2: 2m08s Exercise 2 The next exercise on embedded suggestion is pretty much the same one only this time we are going to use pauses before and after the word in order to mark it out. So now we begin to use pauses, in other words, waiting periods, a tonal variation in order to mark out the embedded suggestion. The same thing you did before will work the same way only this time it is a little easier for me to give you an example on this recording. So let’s use the same idea of relaxing. Just pretend for a moment that you can… relax… Because everyone knows how to… relax… whenever they want to. What would it be like if you were… relaxing… right now? You man notice that… relaxation… is a natural phenomenon inside of your body. Every time you notice… relaxation…, you will find yourself… relaxing… even more fully. Notice how I've actually made it very obvious with very long pauses that I'm marking out this particular word. In actual life, you want to make sure that your marking out gestures or pauses is subtle enough that the conscious mind doesn’t know what is happening but at the same time it is blatant enough that the unconscious mind does notice. You have to find the right variation. With different people, it will actually be a little different with each one. I suggest that you find a nice little pause which is enough that it really doesn’t trigger your own conversation. In other words, your own thinking that there’s something weird going on. But it is enough that people actually notice if you told them that this is happening. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 236 So something that people won't notice if people don’t look for it, but if you tell them it’s happening they should be able to notice. Because if they can notice it then, then the unconscious mind is sure to notice it too. Track 22 Ex3: 2m28s Exercise 3 The next way I want you to practice to embed suggestions is to take this total idea one step further. Rather than pausing before and after the word or the phrase you want to suggest, I want you to just change your tonality when you actually use that particular word or phrase. So you can do the same thing. Again, you can just use the word relax, just to get used to it. Then when you begin to get more familiar with it begin to use more of the choice phrases and other things that you can use. For the moment just use the word relax and use your language pattern cards, just because it’s a lot easier for you to do that. Now, it’s as if you could relax in a natural setting if you just put your mind to the process of relaxing. I mean, not now. It’s as if your mind could find the time to relax all by itself. Now suppose you relax right now. Where would you begin to feel that relaxation beginning to occur first? You might find yourself noticing your feet relaxing all by themselves. Whenever you notice your feet relaxing you’ll find yourself going deeper into a particularly comfortable trance state. Notice how in that particular example, all I did was shift my tone down a few gears and make my voice a little bit softer in order to mark out. So notice I can get more and more subtle as these exercises continue. Not to say that the other exercises weren’t subtle. It’s just that they’re easier to do in a very burlesque or over-the-top manner. Later we do them with subtlety and it’s a lot easier for you to embed suggestions in a way that people won’t notice consciously but will notice unconsciously. Now also bear in mind the priming studies. If you just give one embedded suggestion and that’s it, then chances are the unconscious mind won’t take detect the pattern because there is no pattern to detect. So embedded suggestions have a cumulative effect, which means you need to use many of them and cycle them over and over again. As a rule of thumb, the more you can use the more likely it is that the unconscious mind will detect the pattern and respond to it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 237 It also uses the cumulative effect of suggestions compounding one on top of the other. So there are a lot of reasons to cycle through your particular suggestions over and over again, even, or should I say especially, when you’re using embedded suggestions. Track 23 Ex4: 1m35s Exercise 4 The final way of embedding suggestions that you can practice, and there are an infinite variety of ways that you can use by the way, but the final way that I would like you to practice is to use your eye contact. There is a very subtle way to do this. This will be particularly useful when we come on to a later CD on the actual conversation inductions themselves. Particularly the conscious and the unconscious disassociation. Embedding suggestions with eye contact is actually quite straightforward. All you have to do is imagine that the right eye is the conscious mind. The left eyeball is the unconscious mind. Then as you talk to people normally, make sure you maintain eye contact by looking directly at the right eye. Every time you want to embed a suggestion, embed a word or a phrase, once you are speaking that word or that phrase, you flick over and look at the left eye. As soon as you have finished the word or the actual phrase, you go back to looking at the right eye and carry on talking. This is a very, very subtle way of embedding suggestion because most people won't realize that you are doing this. Most people won't even realize when you look from one eyeball to the other but the unconscious mind will notice. It is a very powerful way to use eye contact in a normal conversation to embed a particular suggestion. As I said, this is also a very useful way of doing an indirect induction, a conversational induction. But we will deal with that on more in a later CD when we cover the actual conversational inductions that you can use. Track 24 Ex5: 1m19s Exercise 5 The next exercise takes us back to this idea of precision language. What I want you to do is get yourself a notebook, or better still a folder, which you are going to dedicate to hypnotic language. One of the sections I want you to dedicate to hot words, another section will be dedicated to hypnotic words, hypnotic themes etc., etc. What I want you to do is to start writing down as many different examples of hot words, hypnotic words, trance words, etc. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 238 Then, begin to use them in your normal conversations. So if you have written down the words baby and comfort and warm blanket inside your hot word list, I want you to make a point, at some point in your conversation during that day, to use the words baby, comfort, and warm blanket in whatever way you can do that. You might even want to talk about a soap opera that you watched and say, “Oh, such and such a character has had a new baby. It was so cute seeing it wrapped up it its little warm blanket.” Already you are using more and more emotional language and more hot words in the things that you are doing. Do this with all of the sections inside this particular hypnotic language book. I’ll show you some more things that you can do with it in one of the later exercises as well. Track 25 Ex6: 1m13s Exercise 6 The next exercise again involves your hypnotic language book. I want you to put a new section in that’s all about ambiguities. Remember the ambiguous words which have many different meanings that we talked about before. I want you to start listening on the radio, on TV, and in normal conversations, how many times that people use ambiguous words. How many times will somebody say something and for a moment you think about something else? Now, the interesting thing is this list doesn’t just have to be words that have double meanings or triple meanings. You can also include in it words or phrases that sound like other words or phrases. For example, if I talk about a nuclear fusion plant the ambiguity there could be used to talk about new, clear vision. In other words, having a clear vision on what’s on someone’s mind. Because the ambiguity is phonological there, in other words, in the sounds itself it will still work in the same way. The way language is spoken has very little to do with the way language is written. So write down all kinds of ambiguities. Get yourself used to spotting them. You will find it more and more easy to introduce them in normal conversations as well. Track 26 Ex7: 1m10s © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 239 Exercise 7 The next exercise ties in a whole bunch of things that you’ve already covered on this home study program so far. This is the creation of a personal trigger word. A personal trigger word is a bit like a personal trance word which you create for yourself. My particular personal trigger word is the word fantastic. The way you use it is to load it up with your friends, your families, and your colleagues and make it mean certain things. For example, • • • Anytime that someone asks me how I'm doing I’ll tell them, “I'm fantastic!” When someone does me a favor, I’ll say, “That’s fantastic!” When something good happens, I’ll say, “That’s fantastic!” All of my enthusiasm or my joy or my happiness is loaded into that word so the more I use that word the more it actually affects other people when I say fantastic. Pick your own personal trigger words which are loaded with different states and different emotions and feelings and begin to really build them up as part of your vocabulary, as well as a way of influencing those around you to simply have a better day. Track 27 Ex8: 1m06s Exercise 8 The next exercise is a lot of fun but please, don’t do it too often and you’ll see why I say that in a moment. The next exercise is to first fall right out of your own versions of confusional language, double negatives, ambiguities, etc. A little bit like the amnesia technique that I've already shown you. I want you to drop little snippets of this into normal conversations, from time to time only, in order to see how people respond. Typically you will notice that they drop into little trances, have a confused look, or look at you for clarification. These are all good things. I want you to get used to being able to put in the odd confusional statement into the things that you are doing. You might even be brave enough to turn to the transcript of these CDs and learn the actual amnesia technique, the language for that. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 240 Or even better, create your own version of that, free to throw into conversations from time to time just to notice what happens. Once you can do it in normal conversation, you will be able to start using it with a real purpose. Track 28: 1m50s End of CD6 Congratulations! You have reached the end of CD 6, Advanced Hypnotic Language. Make sure that you do these exercises step-by-step so that you are only introducing a little subtlety each day. You are making language a little bit richer each day and you're bound to be successful. On the next CD, CD 7, How to Destroy Resistance with Stories we will introduce you into the power of storytelling. How to turn stories into hypnotic stories and how to use those stories in order to take your conversational hypnosis to new heights. We will show you how to find the essence within the storytelling tradition, how to create your own stories, and even how to make up stories completely spontaneously on the fly. Once you can do this, you will discover how simple it is to use your own life experiences to create a wonderful stock of the most inventive, captivating, and useful hypnotic stories. The content of the next CD is particularly exciting. Not just because the content is so powerful but because it is groundbreaking. Let’s just say no other hypnotist, no other hypnosis training organization or school knows how to teach the things that I'm about to teach you. These are the real inner secrets which allow you to master the art of storytelling and become a captivating, hypnotic storyteller, not to just captivate attention but also go straight to the unconscious mind to create wonderful changes in people whenever you want to. Now, I hope you have enjoyed the content on this particular CD and really take the time to practice the subtleties and bring the subtleties to your everyday language. That way you will really master hypnosis. I look forward to seeing you in CD 7, How to Destroy Resistance with Stories. Until then, enjoy your practice! © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 241 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD7 How to Destroy Resistance with Stories Track 1 Welcome Welcome to CD 7 of the Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Program. On this CD, entitled How to Destroy Resistance with Stories, we are going to introduce you to the noble art of storytelling. Stories not only captivate people’s imaginations but they can speak directly to the unconscious and therefore be powerful hypnotic devices. On this CD, we’re going to cover all the things that you need to know in order to be able to create wonderful, captivating, and enchanting stories. But I'm not just going to tell you about stories; I'm going to run you through all kinds of things that will improve your storytelling ability. First of all, we’ll look at storytelling as a tradition. Then we will actually look at how you can use stories in order to achieve different outcomes and hypnotic sense. So from the very beginning, you will be using stories in a very strategic, very purposeful kind of way. We will then define the essence of storytelling and look at the heart of what makes a story a story, so that you can always have that blueprint inside your mind whenever you tell your stories. It will help you really polish them into great things. Then, we’re going to start looking at training the brain to be a tremendous storyteller. We’ll look at all the elements that make a good storyteller tell good stories and then we’re going to start drilling each and every piece bit by bit in order to get your brain to think like a storyteller’s brain. After each set of warm-up exercises, I'm going to give you a few extra pieces that will help you refine your stories more and more and more. I'm going to start giving you more and more exercises which get increasingly challenging, in order for you to really start using conversational hypnosis. In other words, to really start making your stories and shaping them into hypnotic devices or rather vehicles to deliver your conversational hypnosis ideas. Remember on this CD, we’re going to put training wheels on you so when I get you to do things that are sometimes more difficult than what you’ll be doing in the © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 242 real world. That’s because the harder you train now, the easier it will be in a normal everyday setting. The other thing to remember is the guiding principle on this particular CD is: you're better off doing hundreds of examples and really drilling your brain into them than doing one really good, really polished example. I really don’t care about the quality. Right now, it’s the quantity that counts – because every single exercise that you do and every time you repeat it in a different way it trains your neurology, it trains your brain to make new connections. When those connections are there, beautiful, hypnotic, captivating, and powerful stories will come out. So now, as soon as you're ready to learn all of this, relax and take part in order to really master learning conversational hypnosis… Track 2 The power of stories The power of storytelling is as old as man. People have been telling stories before they could even speak. All you need to do is to look at the old cave paintings to realize they’re really telling a story about daily life in that particular era. Now the thing about stories that makes them so powerful is that they speak directly to the unconscious mind in so many rich and so many wonderful, different ways. We have been brought up with so many different stories. One of the things that that does is it lulls the guardian at the gate, the critical factor, to let other things slip by. Now when I talk about stories, I'm not just talking about “Once upon a time there was a little prince” type stories, although those work incredibly well, also. When I talk about stories, I mean all kinds of different vehicles that have the same kind of thing which share the same kind of ideas. So a story can be an anecdote, a joke, an allegory, a parable, similes, even a metaphor. In fact, a metaphor is a very powerful way of coming to the heart of a story. Metaphor comes from the Greek word meta and the word pherein, which means to carry across, because stories carry across an extra depth of meaning. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 243 That’s why you can give someone some technical information and it will be interesting and important. Or you can tell them a story and the story will not just include the information but the technical bits that they need to know. It will also include motivation. It will include inspiration. It will include the parameters in which you can use it and a real sense of context which makes meaning much more easy to grasp. Stories essentially achieve a few things. The first thing that it does is that it really bypasses the critical factor. It just recognizes a story and its automatic pilot goes, “Oh, that’s a story. Let’s just let that pass.” I mean after all, how can you resist a story? It’s just a story. We’ve grown up knowing that when this happens, we can suspend reality. That’s the other thing that stories allow to happen. A story really blends, merges, and confuses realities so you don’t really quite know which kind of reality that you’re talking about. Some stories are more genuine stories about real life. Those are called anecdotes. Other stories are clearly totally metaphoric. Regardless of what the stories are, one of the things that it allows the listener to do is to begin to identify with the characters inside the story. In other words, they begin to live through the same experiences that the characters in the stories are having there and then. You only need to think back to having watched a film or read a book and had an emotional moment. Perhaps the book was particularly gripping and you couldn't put it down. Perhaps one of the characters died and you felt a little sad. In order for you to understand that that story not only manipulated your emotions, the way it manipulated them, in other words, the way it affected you was because at some level you identified with the character. You became one of the characters and you felt the emotions you would have felt had you been that person. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 244 Now this is a very important thing. In a moment, we will come on to how you can use stories for hypnotic effect. If you can bypass the critical factor you have no resistance, and at the same time you can get your listeners to identify so they take on the experiences in the story, then you have the most powerful vehicle for creating hypnotic experiences for someone without any resistance, with only ease and enjoyment inside. That is what makes stories such a powerful vehicle. Take time to really study these materials and get good at it. Don’t just listen to the stuff over and over and over again. Actually practice these exercises. This is something which is so important to stretch your neurology to be able to do. If you do it well, you will have immense rewards from your conversational hypnosis practice. Track 3 How to use hypnotic stories So how can we use stories to achieve hypnotic outcomes? Well a story can achieve many different things. One of the basic uses of a story is to simply seed ideas or set frameworks of ideas. We’ll talk about setting frames more fully on another CD. Of course, we’ve already covered the idea of seeding suggestions or themes in the earlier CDs. A very powerful way to use stories is to use trance themes in order to get people lulled into trances. Use Simple Stories About Trance Themes If you think back to CD 5 on emotional triggers, remember that we used trance themes, which are stories about processes which are hypnotic in order to guide people into a state of hypnosis. So a simple way to use stories might be to talk about trance themes like relaxing on a holiday, being fascinated by a film, waiting in suspense for an animal to turn up on a safari. All of these things are hypnotic components. Embed Suggestions Inside Stories You can also seed ideas. Just tell any old story about any old thing only to make sure you embed your suggestions. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 245 A famous example of this is Milton Erickson’s tomato plant induction. He used this with a patient who was dying of cancer. This man was in great pain and nothing worked, no drugs, no anything. He was a very independent man so he couldn't be very direct about the use of hypnosis. So when he [Erickson] went in, Erickson knew that this man was a florist and loved flowers. He decided to talk to him about a similar hobby of his which was growing tomato plants. The theme itself was innocent enough because it would be something that would interest the patient. The interesting thing however was the way he talked about tomato plants was he was embedding all kinds of suggestions about hope for the future, peace of mind, easing of pain, suffering disappearing, time changing, better times coming… And all of these things were embedded inside what seemed like an almost innocent monologue about how a tomato plant grows. Isomorphic Stories Another way to use stories is known as an isomorphic story. Isomorphic stands for “the same shape as something else”. So an isomorphic metaphor is one in which the characters and the actions and the sequence inside the story mirror something happening with the person that you're working with. In a therapeutic sense for example, it might be that the characters inside the story are all having a fight and that the family in front of you are all fighting in similar ways. The thing about isomorphic metaphors is that they must first of all mirror the situation that the person is actually encountering or will be encountering. And at the same time it must offer some kind of resolution or some plan of action. The important thing of course, because this is a story, you cannot make it obvious enough that the conscious mind can tell why you are telling the story. The moment you include the conscious mind, they go, “Oh, I know why you're saying this.” Then it’s much easier for them to reject the material out of hand. So the power of isomorphic stories is that people go away and think about it and find their own meaning. Of course, the unconscious will be doing that in particular ways. Prime The Unconscious Mind © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 246 The way to use stories is to pre-teach materials or prime the unconscious mind to respond in certain ways. This is not just for teachers who want to make their students into better learners or form the unconscious mind to learn something before they teach it. This also works in many different environments. For example in competitive sports, this idea of psyching out your opponent is in many ways telling stories in which you are a champion because it sets the idea in the other person’s mind that you will win the encounter. You will win the match. A famous example of this is Muhammad Ali, who would always tell these stories about when the person would go down and how they would go down, etc. These stories would leave pictures and impressions inside the mind, that at the unconscious level other people started to respond to. Of course, that wasn’t the only thing that won't the fights, but it was an important part of a mind games that he played as a sportsman. Stories are also tremendous vehicles for creating belief in something, a product or for a salesperson to get people enthused about something. It’s a classic use of a sales tool when you use a testimonial, for example. The testimonial will tell someone about how happy somebody else was when they bought something. Why? Because you are transporting your listener into being a happy buyer. Of course, once they are already a happy buyer inside their mind, it’s a very small step into their being a happy buyer in real life. But talking about other customers can do more than just motivate someone to liking a product or put themselves in the situation where they’ve bought it. One of the things that you can do is actually install a strategy or a process in someone’s mind by which they will make the decision to buy something. For example, a car salesman can tell all kinds of funny and amusing stories about people coming to his warehouse. All the time, he is setting a pattern inside their mind along the lines of looking at the cars, seeing the polish, enjoying the quality of it, sitting inside the car and really feeling good. Then projecting themselves into having the car and how excited the neighbors will be. Then actually coming over to the paperwork, talking them through their paperwork and the different things that they’ve got to fill out so that it doesn’t become such a big thing. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 247 (Remember, this is pre-teaching again.) Finally, buying the car, going back, and telling everyone how happy they are. A story along those lines, or several stories that put those elements in a sequence are going to allow the other person to have the experience inside their own neurology without you telling them, “Okay, this is how you are going to buy this car.” Remember, you are talking about other people. If you are talking about other people and the experiences that they’ve had, well how can they ever resist because they can't resist someone else’s experience, can they? So as a quick check list of how to use stories • • • • Use them to rift around a hypnotic theme. Use them to install a process or a strategy in someone’s mind Use them as a vessel for ambiguities and embedded suggestions. Finally, you can use them to elicit states, set emotional triggers, and chain these into a sequence that has specific kinds of outcomes. Track 4 What makes a story a story? Let’s turn directly now to the heart of storytelling. What makes a story essentially a story? Remember, what I'm about to cover isn't the art of story writing but the art of story telling. There is a simple blueprint that you can keep in mind to help polish all of your stories. If you have a better blueprint, by all means use this, but this is one that I found to be incredibly useful for both myself and all of my students to understand the nature of storytelling. You see, the thing about stories is that there is an unconscious formula that we’re very well aware of. We know how to recognize a story when it exists and we know when it’s not there. I’ll give you an example. If I said to you for example, “I was walking through a forest and I went home.” Is that a story? Well, no. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 248 Maybe it’s the beginnings or the possibility of one but not really. There’s something missing. So what’s the next point? Let’s try and refine this a little bit. “I was walking through a forest and suddenly a little rabbit jumps out at me. Then I decided to walk home.” Is that a story? Well, yes, that’s more of a story but there’s still something missing isn't there? So let’s try this. “I was walking through the forest when suddenly a little bunny rabbit jumps out at me and says, “ ‘Please, Mister, don’t let the dog get me!’ “I decide that I can't let this poor thing suffer so I pick it up and I say, “ ‘Don’t worry, little fellow, I’ll protect you.’ “Suddenly the dog comes running out. It is a tiny little pee wee Herman of a dog and I look at it, laugh, and say, “ ‘Hey, if you're going to mess with my friend, you're going to mess with me.’ “The poor little dog turned tail and ran so quickly. Then I went home with my bunny and now we’re best friends.” Now, I ask you if that’s a story. That may not be (in your mind) a tremendous work of art – but you can recognize the essence of a story within it. It feels complete. Your unconscious mind has recognized all the way posts that make a story a story. So what are these way posts? The Structure Of A Story Story Secret 1: Start With A Routine The first one (example) is some kind of routine. I was walking through a forest is a routine. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 249 Story Secret 2: Break The Routine Then you need to have a break in that routine. So while I was walking through the forest suddenly a bunny rabbit jumps out at me. Now we have the routine that’s being broken. Story Secret 3: Change Someone The third step is that someone needs to become altered. Someone has got to be emotionally affected and impacted by the whole event. In this case, it was myself when I said I would look after the bunny rabbit and I scared off the dog. So the three pillars of storytelling are really important: 1. Create a routine. 2. Somehow break the routine in the middle of its flow. 3. Finally someone, some of the characters have to be altered as a result of the story, otherwise there is no pay off. Story Secret 4: Re-incorporation Now, there is a secret fourth pillar which isn't, strictly speaking, necessary but if you include it, it becomes a huge pay off. This fourth pillar is called re-incorporation. When you introduce an item or an idea or something seemingly meaningless in the beginning and you come back to it at the end, there is a huge pay off. Track 5 Simple story demonstration Take this little story as an example. “Once upon a time, there was an old man living in a small cottage. This man was very, very poor. In fact, he was so poor that one day he woke up so hungry he thought to himself, ‘How will I feed myself? I have no money.’ So he decided to take a walk to take his mind off his miseries. He was walking through a forest. He sees this pile of nuts lying on the ground. He was so happy thinking, ‘At least I have a small snack to keep me going for a little bit longer.’ He bends down in order to pick up these nuts and eat them when suddenly he hears a little voice going, © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 250 ‘Oh please sir, please. Don’t eat those nuts.’ He looks at the bushes and sees a little squirrel, frightened and timid. He says, ‘What’s the matter, little squirrel?’ “The squirrel tells him that there’s an evil king rat in the forest that’s forcing all the animals to pay homage by giving him half their share of all the food that they collect. They have to leave it out every day for the rat or the rat will go around and punish them. “The old man is enraged. He thinks, ‘No one should suffer like this little one. No one should be suppressed by the evil king rat.’ “So he picks up the squirrel and his offerings and he goes around all the forest finding all the creatures of the forest and tells them to gather their things and bring them all to the clearing. “They pile up fruits of the forest and nuts and berries and anything that they can find in a huge pile. Enough to feast a whole army. Then he tells all the creatures to hide. “Meanwhile the king rat is storming through the forest getting more and more upset. He can't find any of the animals nor any of their fruits and foods that they meant to be leaving for him. “The animals are getting more and more scared but the old man says, ‘Don’t worry. Leave this to me.’ “The rat comes into the clearing and suddenly sees the huge pile of food left out for him. He is immensely pleased and says, ‘Oh, well done, animals. I was getting ready to punish you but now I see that you brought it all together to make it all the easier for me to enjoy.’ “Suddenly the man comes rushing out from behind a tree with a big stick and screams, ‘Fat rat, fat rat! You can't have any of this!’ “He takes his stick and he chases the rat all around the forest and out into the prairies until he is gone. All the animals celebrate and give the man plenty to eat as a thank you for his help. “The man goes home. The next day he wakes up again feeling good with himself, with what he has done. Again, the hunger starts gnawing at his belly. He doesn’t know what to do so he decides to go back out into the forest to clear his mind. “Just as he opens his door however, just as he leaves his house, he looks down and finds a basket full of nuts and fruits. Tucked inside is a little note. It says, ‘You’ll never go hungry again, old man.’ Signed, The Animals of the Forest.” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 251 Track 6 Storytelling is a state of mind So now that you know the blueprint or what the basic structure of a story should look like, let’s turn our attention to what your brain has to be able to do in order to create stories. One of the key pieces that most good storytellers use inside their brain is the ability to imagine or visualize the actual story as they describe it. Think about it: If you are imagining the story vividly, then all you have to do is describe the story rather than trying to remember what the story is, the text, or the sound of it. I want to really work with your imagination, to really shape it to the position where it can create these wonderful stories which all you have to do is look at and describe and really enjoy yourself. The technique that I've developed for this, I call a “Strange New World”. Before I show you the actual exercise that develops this brain state, I want to let you know a few things. First of all, this technique is a variation of something developed by someone else called image streaming. Image streaming has been proved to raise your IQ level by several points if you do it regularly over a period of time. I want you to know this because one of the side affects of becoming a good storyteller is that you’ll also become more intelligent as a result of the exercises that will train you to do this! As you launch yourself into this exercise, I want you to bury in the back of your mind the fact that you're also making yourself more intelligent as you're practicing the art of storytelling. Exercise: A Strange New World The storytelling exercise, the very first one, to warm up your brain is something that I call “The Strange New World”. The exercise is very simple. What you have to do is inside of your mind, imagine a world that no one has seen before. I don’t want you to sit down and think about it, analyze about it for hours on end. This is going to be a spontaneous exercise. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 252 When I teach these in live seminars, what we do is we get people to group into small groups of four or five people. Then we’ll take one person and spin him in a circle to confuse him. When the circle spinning stops, they have to open their eyes up and immediately start describing some random scene that they’ve never seen before. The only rule about this is you have to speak a little bit faster than you can think. Describe the scenery that comes out one little bit at a time, full of enthusiasm, full of excitement because it helps your mind to generate the right things. Don’t try and analyze it. Don’t try to be good. Just try to describe whatever comes into your mind. Start off with one little thing. Perhaps you see grass. Start describing the grass and then the next thing happens and the next thing happens and the next thing happens. In a moment, I will give you a demonstration about what I mean. But the key pieces to this are: 1. Imagine a scene that no one has ever seen before. A Strange New World. 2. Get excited and enthused. 3. Speak this out loud. I can't emphasize this enough how important this is to actually say the words out loud. Remember you are practicing storytelling, not story thinking, not fantasizing, but storytelling – which means that your mouth has to be engaged. It is a different neurological circuit being created when you speak out loud. The easiest way to do this is to get a group of friends together and do it together. You can even do this on the phone with people. The important thing is that you practice this and do this a lot. Just keep practicing this. Remember, keep talking, don’t think about it, just do it, and just let your mouth go a little bit faster than you can keep up with it. A Strange New World Demonstration Here’s my example of one. I close my eyes. I shake myself around a little bit just to shake things up and suddenly: © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 253 “Whoa, here I am. I'm in the middle of a pirate ship. Over there is a big mast of the old wooden ships with a sail. The sail is white with a big red cross on it. “There is a black flag with a white skull and bones on top of it. On top of the crow’s nest, there is a sailor, a pirate, with a little red bandana and an eye patch. “In front of me is like a Black Beard type pirate with a peg leg and a scimitar or sword raised above his head. He is about to come and chop me up. Over there behind him is a huge crossbow ballista-type machine that is aimed right at me. “There are all of these pirates that are beginning to come over the top of the sides of this pirate ship. They have knives in their mouths and they're all ugly and they all have misshapen heads and things. They have a beard. “Over there at the top of the deck, there is a woman in a white dress. It’s like a damsel in distress and it’s my job to save her.” Discussion Of Demonstration Now, stop and see what happened there for a moment. Notice what I was doing was just describing a scene and it flowed naturally, one piece after the other. All I started with was seeing this wooden deck which was empty. Then I saw the mast which I described. Then the mast created the sail. The sail created the crow’s nest. Then I saw the pirate that made me see the captain and then I saw the people coming overboard. Then I saw the damsel in distress. These images all came one after another. They didn't exist when I started the whole thing in itself. The other thing which is interesting to note with this exercise is notice how a story, a plot line, develops almost by itself. The purpose isn't to have this plot line, by the way. It’s purely to create a description of a scene you’ve never seen before in your life. When you start off doing this exercise, at first, all you need to do is keep it up for about a minute or so. That will be taxing enough. Build your repertoire up. Build your ability to trust your mind up so that you can start telling it for five minutes, maybe even ten minutes at a go. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 254 If you do this, you will really be hard wiring your brain to be able to do the first step, the foundational step of being an exceptional storyteller. Remember, this exercise is actually easier when you have someone to talk to, so sit down with a friend in a coffee shop or call them up on the phone and just use this as a game to play just to keep yourselves amused. However, as you are doing this, bear in mind: not only are you raising your IQ level but you are actually creating a brain state. You are hardwiring your neurology to become great at what you are doing. I recommend that you do this for up to five minutes a day for several weeks in order to build this. I actually do this exercise almost every day to warm myself up for the day ahead. It is really worthwhile to practice this well. Track 7 How to think creatively with stories Okay, so your brain should be nicely warmed up by now. I want you to realize that storytelling is a habit. You just have to do it a lot. You're better off creating a hundred or two hundred or a thousand really mediocre or bad stories than one really polished one because the very first step is that you have to build the storytelling muscle. Slowly but surely your unconscious will begin to start refining it for you to make it better and better and better. Let me reiterate that it’s really important that you speak things out loud. Storytelling is an oral tradition. It’s a performance art which means that you actually have to get used to speaking the words out loud because that changes your neurology. So practice these exercises and do them well. The next exercise that I want you to play with is one that begins the concept of re-incorporation. So you can have polished and well-worked stories. At the same time as using re-incorporation, it will also train your mind to be able to put into a story the kind of things that you want to put in to it. Because it’s one thing to come up with stories that are charming and interesting. It’s another thing making sure at the same time that those stories do other things. For example, you can insert trance themes, hot words, hypnotic words, and other hypnotic devices. It is very important that your mind thinks on different levels at the same time. On the one level you have a story and on the other level, your stories actually achieve certain purposes. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 255 Exercise: The Forest Gump Game To do this, I've developed a game called the Forrest Gump game. If you remember the film Forrest Gump, there is a famous scene where he sits on a park bench and says, “You know, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.” This game is very simple. In a similar sort of way, I want you to start choosing two completely random objects, maybe just look around the room and find a toaster and a window. I want you to start with the phrase, “The toaster is like a window because…” and then fill it in in whatever way makes sense. It doesn’t mean that it has to be a logical statement. It just somehow combines the two items together. If you take the toaster and the window, you can say, “A toaster is like a window because the more you use it, the dirtier it gets. Eventually, you have to both clean it and replace it.” So notice that with something which started off as completely random, suddenly we find areas of commonality and we put them together. Your mind is very good at doing this but you really need to start challenging yourself to start coming up with these comparisons and these ways of combining two different ideas. The next few tracks will be very quick tracks. I'm going to give you a couple of random objects which I want you to combine in that way. Do this exercise either with yourself out loud or with a friend on the telephone or meet them somewhere. Use this as a game. The more you do this, the more your mind gets used to making these connections between things, the easier it will be for you to create stories. Later on the easier it will be for you to polish your own stories to bring out the things in them that are hypnotic and useful for you. Track 8 Introduction to the forest gump exercise I'm going to give you a list now of a couple of word pairs that you can do this exercise with, the Forest Gump game. Remember, there is no magic in the pairings that I've created here. They are just literally spontaneous things that have come to mind as I'm talking to you on this CD right now. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 256 The important thing is once you get the hang of the examples I have given you, start to make up your own pairings. Just look around the environment around you and just notice randomly two things that catch your eye. Or over time your mind will just suddenly pop two different thoughts into your head and then you can do the game with those two thoughts. Learn to combine anything. With that in mind, on the next track, I'm going to include a whole bunch of word pairs that you can use to spark off your imagination to start this particular exercise with. Track 9 Exercise: forest gump word pairs Here are some word pairs for you to start with. • • • • • • Computer and caterpillar Potato and shoe Tennis racket and a sports car Boat and ocean Woman and race track Pencil and floppy disk I hope that these are enough examples for you to get the idea. These are just completely random, spontaneous items that have come to my mind. Create your own list and use this list as an inspiration to create your own list. Do this exercise over and over and over again. This is the mental equivalent of lifting weights. This will make your storytelling muscles very, very strong. Track 10 How to include any theme, concept or idea in your stories Okay, I hope that you’ve done your first two exercises with a lot of attention and a lot of enthusiasm because they really lay the foundation for the exercise that we are about to do. This next exercise will be your first foray officially into the art of storytelling. We are going to dive right into it and we’re going to give your mind a little bit of an impetus to start a story. The way that we are going to do these stories is that © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 257 we’re going to make up a story – not a decent story, not a good story, not a fun story, just a random story. The only thing that you have to do with these stories is make sure you incorporate an item that I'm about to list. For example, if I mention the word shoe, you have to tell a story that somehow in someway just mentions shoes as part of the story. It incorporates a shoe as a part of the story. That is your only purpose in this. In a moment, I will give you a quick demonstration of what I mean by this. But let’s talk about a few things for you to keep in mind as we’re doing this. Number one, remember the lesson from the previous exercise which is to say, allow yourself to visualize a scene and just start describing it as it comes to mind. Your unconscious mind will begin to deliver bits and pieces as you go through. The only thing that you need to keep in the back of your mind is the item, in this example the shoe, so that you can come back to it and incorporate it in the story in some particular way. The next thing that I want you to bear in mind is do not try and make this a good story. Really, this is not important. How good or bad or terrible or interesting or exciting this story may be is completely irrelevant for the purpose of this exercise. This exercise is purely designed to train the incorporation of whatever article I mention and in time, you create your own articles as well. That is it. That is the only thing that you have to focus on. To make life easier for yourself, remember to visualize a scene and then just describe it one piece at a time. Remember the three stages or even the four stages of a good story: 1. 2. 3. 4. a routine, a break in the routine, someone is altered, and of course, the incorporation – which will happen because I will give you an item to incorporate already. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 258 Example Of Re-incorporation Exercise So, with that ready, I’ll give you an example of a spontaneous story taking a random item. In this example, we’ll just take a caterpillar as the example to incorporate. So there I was in the supermarket and I was starving. I decided to buy some fruit and put it in my basket and I went on down the shop to the cashier. I was a little bit hungry so I thought I might as well have an apple while I'm waiting. I’ll just pay for the extra apple when I get to the front. I began to eat this apple and suddenly I bite into something and realize that there was a weird sort of texture around it. I look at the apple and it turns out there’s a caterpillar inside the apple and I had just bitten right through it. I feel horrible thinking about, “What have I just done?” The funny thing is that there was a woman standing right behind me and she flat out faints. I pull out the caterpillar, actually I spit out of the rest of the apple and we bring the woman back to life again. She looks at me like I'm evil incarnate. She asks me, “How can you do that?” I said, “Do what?” “How can you kill the poor little caterpillar before it had a chance to have a life as a butterfly?” I looked at her and I felt very sorry. So I went to my uncle who has a huge greenhouse and I persuaded him to section a little bit of it off and give it over to me. Now I've turned that into an animal sanctuary. The animals, of course, are caterpillars. They are such a delight because now that there is this little animal sanctuary, this caterpillar sanctuary has been running for a year or two, is actually filled with beautiful butterflies of every possible type. One day I think that I might open up a butterfly house so the children of the area can enjoy it too. So there it is. The story I told isn't particularly interesting. It is not particularly great but it is a story and it does include the caterpillar and reincorporates it in several different ways. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 259 That is the only thing that you need to do with this exercise. Remember, don’t try to be funny, don’t try to be clever, don’t try to be good. The only thing that you need to do is tell a story that goes through the three main pillars: 1. 2. 3. 4. a routine, a break in the routine, and someone is affected by that or altered by it, and it includes the item for incorporation, in this case a caterpillar. In the next track, I'm going to give you a list of completely random items that you can use as inspirations to incorporate into a story. To be honest with you however, anything will do at this stage. You can make up your own. In fact, it is better if you do. Track 11 Exercise: incorporate an idea Okay, here is a list of a few items that you can start off with. Tennis shoe Caterpillar Tree Rocket Cloud Duck Bomb Cake Flak jacket Gun Knife Space alien Dinosaur So now, you have a nice list of things that you can use as incorporation for telling your own stories. Remember, take each one at a time and put it into a story. It’s more important that you tell one hundred different stories then that you tell one really, really good one. We will deconstruct and polish these stories on the next track. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 260 Track 12 How to polish your stories Now that you have had some storytelling experience behind you, let’s look at ways that you can improve the stories that are coming out of your mouth. The first thing to realize and it’s the most important thing, is you must not stifle your unconscious mind. You must not stifle your creativity. How do people generally try to stifle their creativity? Insider Trick 1: Don’t Try To Be Good The biggest stumbling block that you can come across is people wanting to be good. Of course, everyone wants other people to enjoy your stories and enjoy listening to you but really, you must stick to the rules rather than trying to be good, because very often, when people try to do something clever, they actually destroy the naturalness of the story. In fact, even when they tell a certain gag, they kill off any potential that that story has of reaching another person at any level of significance. So don’t try to be good. Insider Trick 2: Let The Muck Come Out Another thing to realize which is kind of related to this, is that sometimes you’ll have to go through a whole area of muck of obscenities, of swearing, of morbid thinking, of really weird stuff that comes out in order to get the good stuff underneath. Think of it this way: Everyone spends their day interacting with other people and they have a certain band of things that they can't talk about – about killing babies, about having wild orgies. All of these sorts of things are things that we tend to repress because it is not socially polite to talk about these things. What they do is they form a little sheen, a little layer of your creativity, of your unconscious responses. And because you are not willing to purse through that, because you are always bouncing away when that happens, that’s where people cut themselves off from their creative potential. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 261 One of the ways past it is to simply say, “Okay, you know what? It doesn’t matter. I’ll just keep talking and I’ll just keep making up these stories and if something obscene comes out, I won't censor it. I’ll just let it happen. If something morbid comes out, I won't censor it. I will let it happen.” You see, you're not responsible for your stories. Your unconscious is. Until you do a little bit of depressurizing and desensitizing it, you might have to go through this little area of murkiness. It doesn’t last very long so just enjoy it when it does happen. So don’t try to be good. Don’t try to be polite. In fact, don’t censor yourself in any way. In other words, don’t criticize yourself. Don’t tell yourself it’s not good enough. Avoid all of these patterns. Just open your mouth and start talking and let whatever wants to come out, come out. In time, you will refine these processes and make them into really wonderful stories but you need to learn to get to that point first. When you learn to get to that point underneath that little layer of muck and under the layer of boredom and criticism, etc., you will be able to find your way back there more quickly in future times. Insider Trick 3: Visualise The Scene Another thing that will help you do this is to really visualize what you are describing. You have to go first. In other words, put yourself in the scenario. You only have to know what the next thing is. You don’t have to know what happens later than that. We’ll come back to this idea in a moment. Insider Trick 4: Keep Things Inside “The Circle” Another thing that I want you to keep in mind, and this is so important, is a principle I call keeping it in the circle. Every time you present a new piece of information inside a story, there is a whole bunch of associations attached to it which makes sense. For example, let’s say your story is set in a wood. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 262 What associations belong in a wood? Well, you have trees, you have plants, and you have animals. On a more archetypal level, you have pixies, fairies, and witches. What don’t you have in a wood? You don’t have aliens. You don’t have bulldozers. You don’t have ships. These are things that are outside of the box. They’re outside of the circle which a wood naturally implies. You can break this next rule, which is keeping things inside the circle. But for the moment, stay within the circle so that when you would talk about a forest start talking about witches and elves if you want to, start talking about trees and animals if you want to. Start talking about being lost in a forest and finding your way out. Those are all things that are natural associations. Do not break the natural association by bringing a bulldozer or a ship or an alien because these things do not belong. Now the interesting thing is that as soon as you bring a new item in, a new set of context arises. A new circle arises. So if you are in a wood and you meet an elf, now you have all the associations to elves. What are the associations to elves? Well, there’s magic, there’s fairyland. There might be a certain sense of time distortion, you know, elves taking people away. They might steal babies. They might be good elves. It depends on what the associations are, but they are all attached to that. Again, what associations aren’t there? You don’t expect an elf to suddenly start spouting quantum physics at you. You don’t expect them to bring out a laptop computer and show you something. These things do not fit what the archetype of elf means to us. So don’t analyze and criticize yourself. Visualize the scene inside your mind. Go first. Put yourself into that environment and make sure you keep things inside the circle. Insider Trick 5: Just Keep Talking! © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 263 Just keep talking. Just keep talking around whatever is naturally associated with things that you happen to be talking about and the stories will naturally unfold. Track 13 Introduction to the rule of 3 exercise Let’s turn to the next exercise. This exercise is going back to the incorporation exercises from a moment ago. Only this time, we are going to expand its scope. Rather than using just one item which somehow just came into the story, I'm going to invite you to start using three items and put all three into the story. Remember, all of the rules still count. You have the three pillars of storytelling. You have the idea of re-incorporation. You're going to visualize a thing inside your mind and you're going to start just making boring stories. In other words, you don’t have to try to make them interesting. Keep things within the circle, so every time the story moves forward one pace keep it within the new circle that’s being created there and don’t try to be interesting, or novel, or creative. Trying to do that will actually have the opposite affect. Don’t stifle your creativity. Don’t analyze or criticize yourself. Just go with the flow. Just go with whatever your unconscious mind gives you. Remember, it is repetition that is the most important. In this exercise you are about to do, I'm going to give you a whole bunch of different things to incorporate, three items at a time. Now your job is to somehow interweave those items to fit them into a story and let them interrelate with each other. In the next track, I'm going to give you an example of what I mean by this. After that, I will give you a whole bunch of things to spur your own mind. Then, it is really up to you to go out there and find all kinds of random things and make up stories about them. Make up stories that include them. This is a very challenging exercise but a lot of fun and really goes to the heart of storytelling. When you can do this, you will be able to start including hypnotic material and really getting to the point of influence and persuasion really quickly. Track 14 Exercise demonstration – the rule of 3 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 264 I'm going to give you an example of the exercise in action. The three objects that I'm going to take are a shoe, a daisy, and a pocketknife. So I was on the meadow on the way to see my girlfriend when I saw the craziest sight. In the middle of this meadow was an old tennis shoe that was just lying there in half rotten pieces. The interesting thing was out of this tennis shoe seemed to be growing the most beautiful daisy. I thought to myself, “What a strange sight! A daisy growing out of a shoe.” So I thought to myself, “Wouldn't this make a great present for my girlfriend?” – who happens to be called Daisy. So I went over and tried to pluck this daisy but do you know what? It was such a tough flower that I couldn't pluck it. Eventually, I actually reached inside my back pocket, pulled out my pocketknife, and cut the daisy. But seeing that it was growing in such a unique place, I didn't cut the daisy out from the shoe. I cut from underneath the shoe. I picked up the shoe, put it in a box and I brought the daisy in a shoe to my Daisy, who loves shoes by the way. Now every year, Daisy, who loves shoes, reminds me how much she loved the daisy in a shoe that I gave her. Discussion Of The Demonstration Again notice how this is not the world’s greatest story. However, it does all the things that it needs to do. It is training your neurology to tell good stories, incorporate material that you want to incorporate and to go through the three pillars of storytelling. If you can do these things, good stories will start flowing more and more. So now it’s your turn. Start practicing doing these things. On the next track, I'm going to give you a whole bunch of items to incorporate into different stories. But really the skill becomes when you start looking to your environment and using that as inspiration. The way that I like to think of this is like that film Usual Suspect in which the main character makes up the most wonderful story of these criminals and how they got to this particular stage in a heist. He does this by looking around the office of the interviewing police officer and using a name here and a plaque there, something left from a newspaper over © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 265 there as inspiration for weaving together the most intriguing and real-sounding story. [The DVD is available from Amazon.com ASIN: B00000K0DT] This is a very important skill so take time to really practice it thoroughly. Track 15 Exercise: the rule of 3 Here are a few lists to start you off with. 1. 2. 3. 4. In the first story, include a stapler, a machine gun, and a caterpillar. In the second story, a tree, a monkey, and a speedboat. In the third story, include a shoe, a ream of paper, and a schoolteacher. In the next story, include a tennis book, a portable TV set, and a space rocket. 5. In your final story, include a CD player, a musician, and pocket full of change. Now remember, I've just made these lists up completely randomly and arbitrarily. Once you’ve told these stories, go make your own lists completely randomly and incorporate those into stories. Really get used to being a master of bringing anything in from your environment and putting it into your story. Track 16 How to create emotional triggers with stories Let’s start turning these stories into something practical and useful. The way that we’re going to start doing this is to use stories as vehicles for creating emotional triggers in people and altering their state. Hypnosis, as you know, is an altered state of experience. It’s a way of creating a focus and a calm, reflective state of mind in which people become more responsive. Now that’s just one state. Remember the emotions are the domain of the unconscious. So if you create emotional experience in people, you are creating unconscious experiences and therefore there is a hypnotic interaction happening. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 266 The way that you're going to do this exercise is to go back to the last exercise, the incorporation exercise. Only this time instead of incorporating certain items, you’ll be incorporating emotional states. The entire point of the story is purely to get an emotional state, an experience revivified in someone else. How do you do that? Well, you put them into the context that you need to do that in, in order to bring that thing alive. Your language will start coming out naturally. Remember the key thing, just as in everything else, is go first. Put yourself in the experience first. By that, I don’t just mean now visualize and put yourself in the scene. That is still true. We’re going to add an element which is I want you to put your emotions into the thing as well. Get the emotions into you first. If you want to get someone excited, get yourself excited first and then tell your story about something exciting. They will get excited. So you start with yourself, get excited. Then you tell your story about something exciting and finally they get excited. That is how the whole scenario flows through. Remember everything that you have learned so far still counts. • You will still be using the three pillars of storytelling plus the secret of reincorporation. • You will still be visualizing the scene inside your mind. • You will be making sure that you don't stifle your creativity but not trying to be too clever or too good but just allowing your own consciousness to come up with the material. • You’ll keep things within the circle and resist the temptation for now of introducing a cheap gag by jumping outside of that circle. • You’ll continue to keep talking. It’s so important that you create this scene in which your unconscious mind can freely express yourself. A little word on the side. As you do this exercise and all the other exercises over and over again, begin to slowly incorporate everything that you’ve learned so far. That is to say, your precision language, your hypnotic language, your hypnotic themes, your emotional trigger sensory-rich language, all these things will still count. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 267 At this stage, I don’t actually mind if the stories that you tell are true or something that you made up. Notice if you make things up, over time, your mind starts reminding you of things that are similar that happened in your actual life. Thereby, you actually begin to tell genuine stories which still introduce the hypnotic ideas that you want to introduce. That itself will come in time. Until then, keep practicing making up spontaneous stuff which is untrue but is actually training your neurology through which you later express your true experiences. On the next track, you will have an example of a story which incorporates a theme of excitement. Track 17 Demonstration: creating excitement with stories As a boy, I always grew up loving Christmas. My father had the best strategy, the best build-up to Christmas itself. You’ve got to bear this in mind. We had the Christmas tree come in about four weeks before Christmas itself so already we knew in the back of our little minds that Christmas was coming. Then the tension would start to build because every day our father would come out and put a little tinsel, a few baubles and some lights onto the Christmas tree. So as the days turned into weeks, slowly but surely that Christmas tree was filling up more and more things. Now, around about a week before Christmas, our father really made this tremendous thing. He had this thing where all he would do is lock the living room with the Christmas tree up. We had one of these patio windows which had glass screen which went into the actual kitchen. He would cover this with a blanket so that you couldn't look into the living room… but cunningly, he would always leave just a little corner of the blanket untucked so that we could always peek into the living room. Of course, that little peek hole would always look directly on the Christmas tree. So there is the scene. We are sitting there a week before Christmas. We see the Christmas tree in the dark living room and it’s all lit up. It’s just beautiful. It looks like something from a fairy tale. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 268 Then the presents start to arrive. I can't tell you just how exciting it was to see the first present underneath the tree and trying to guess whose present would this be? Who would get this and what would be inside of it? The next day there would be more presents and more presents and more presents and just when you thought that you couldn't fit anything else under the tree, there would be some more things lying outside of the tree. Of course, all of this time we would be hearing the Christmas carols and the songs. We would be helping out in the kitchen to help bake the cookies and make the cakes. So really, the whole thing began to build up for us. Now, the most exciting part was Christmas day itself, actually, Christmas Eve. Being an Austrian, we usually celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve. The way that we would do it is that we would be sent to bed at 12:00pm at midday because we were still young and we were meant to be staying up until midnight later on. You can imagine being eight or nine years old, being sent to bed at midday and it is the middle of Christmas Eve. In a few hours, we get to race downstairs and unpack the presents. There’s no way that we could go to sleep! We would toss and turn uncomfortably in our sheets until it was time for us to get up. Then we would dress in our finest clothes and we would wait upstairs. Downstairs there would be the music blaring, the Christmas carols, and the doors would still be locked. We couldn't even peek downstairs. Then, just when we didn't think that we could stand it anymore, when the tension had built all the way up to the top, our father would ring a little bell which was a signal that we could go downstairs and Christmas would begin. You’ve never seen children race down those stairs as quickly as we did on that Christmas Eve. We did this year after year. So now, I'm so conditioned that even the merest whisper of something Christmas-like puts this wonderful gleam inside my eye. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 269 Track 18 Breakdown of the demonstration Notice how in that story even though it is short and really quite to the point, we have an escalation of emotions. I am actually introducing a whole process in order to allow you to get as excited as I was. Also, notice how everything that I've done so far still counts. In my mind, I was visualizing the whole Christmas build-up and I was just describing it as it came to my mind. I also entered the emotions first. You’ve got to go first. Enter the emotional states yourselves. It is really important to do this because it really adds a flavor to what you are doing. Notice how my tonality changed. My pace and rhythm matched the state that I wanted to do. If you need to review that, go back to the hypnotic language foundation on CD 3 and it will have all the exercises that you need in order for you to have a really powerful control of your tonality, your rhythm, and your tonal states. When you create your own stories, I want you to use a couple of high-energy states like excitement, like enthusiasm, and motivation. Then also use some hypnotic states. The best states to use are in the list that you created during the exercises at the end of CD 5, Emotional Triggers. So these are the useful states like relaxation, fascination, curiosity. All of these states that are more hypnotic should be on your list and I want you to take each one of those lists, you should have five to ten on that list by now, and I want you to create a story that brings that experience back to life. Now you have more ways to create those experiences in people. Remember to keep using your sensory-rich language, your tonality, go first, put your own emotional states in the place, visualize the scene, keep things inside the circle, don’t try to be funny, clever, or good in any particular way. Don’t stifle your creativity by being critical or self-analytical. Just open your mouth and start talking and whatever comes out, let it come out. It doesn’t have to be great; you just have to follow through those stages. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 270 Make sure you hit your three pillars of good storytelling and just enjoy the exercise for yourself. The more you do this, the easier it will become to you. This is very, very good training for your mind. So really, put the effort into mastering this properly. Track 19 Additional insights into storytelling Now we are coming to the end of this CD. You’ve already learned a lot of things. You’ll have put a lot of effort into each of these exercises to really train your brain to think in new ways. I really can't emphasize this enough. The only way that you’ll become good at storytelling is to train your brain, condition it to grow the new neurology, the new connections, that will allow you to just do this naturally and easily. In order to do that, throw yourself heart and soul into the exercises that I've created you and you will gain a great benefit. Then I’ll have some nice additional exercises at the end of this CD that you can do to make these things more hypnotic stories as well. Before we go though, I would like to talk a few more concepts through with you. Additional Insight 1: Don’t Block or Wimp Out The first concept is something that you’ve probably experienced as a result of these exercises. It’s called “Blocking and Wimping”. You are telling stories now that you are basically making up as you go along. What has happened sometimes is that people frighten themselves because they don’t know where they are going with it. They don’t know if they can cope. Because they haven't learned to trust their unconscious mind yet, they begin to throw up blocks. For example, an example of a block might be where you tell a story and you loop around the same thing. You refuse to move to the next point. So maybe you are in a wood and you keep walking around from this tree, to that tree, to that tree. Then you climb the tree. You go up the tree. You go down the tree. You climb the next tree. Notice how we are doing the same things over and over again? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 271 I'm actually blocking myself or wimping out from taking the next step. So wimping out is when you run around and around the same circle. Blocking is more when you refuse to take the next logical step in the story. For example, I'm walking through the forest and a little pixie comes flying out to me. The pixie looks at me and stares me down. So what’s the next thing? The pixie is going to say something. So the pixie starts talking to me. At this point, I might block. In other words, I'm afraid to think about what might this pixie say to me. Instead of going down that road, I might go, “Oh, I've got to stop this somehow.” So what I’ll end up doing is I’ll block by saying, “I turned myself away from the pixie and I carried on walking through the forest.” I have just blocked the action that I've created. Don’t do that. Create it as a matter of discipline that when you begin an action you follow through with it. When you find yourself wimping out because you are running around and around in the same circle, make a break for anything which is new and fresh. This is where the Strange New World exercise is going to be really useful for you. Because there you constantly have to make a leap into the unknown. Make those leaps into the unknown. The unknown is actually known by your unconscious mind. It will connect the dots for you. That is what the Forest Gump game was all about. It’s all about connecting dots inside of your mind. Your unconscious mind cannot help but do this. There is an interesting article that I read once where a scientist went around and decided to challenge all these New Age Mysticism revealing numbers having some special significance. For example, the proportions on the Pyramids of Egypt and things like that. He did this in a very amusing way. He went around New York and he measured all kinds of rubbish of random things. Like rubbish bins and newspaper stands. He noticed that the proportions of the newspaper stands had a direct proportion between the distance of the moon and sun, for example. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 272 Certain wastepaper baskets were in direct proportion to the Great Pyramids in Egypt. The fact is that no one designed these wastepaper baskets to fit the same proportions as those [pyramids] in Egypt. Some of these things come out naturally from pure principles of aesthetics. But most of them come out from the very human need and ability to connect the dots. To make connections – this is like that. Now if you have that function inside you anyway, well then, your unconscious mind will connect all of those dots for you inside of the stories. Just make sure that if you come across this phenomenon of Blocking and Wimping that you recognize it and you make a point of stepping through it. Additional Insight 2: Take It One Step At A Time To make your life easier, only take one step at a time. What do I mean by this? You only have to move the story forward by one piece of action at a time. So you don’t have to think about the whole story from beginning to end at the beginning. All you have to know is what is the next piece. Where am I right now and what is the next piece going to be? When you're lost in the forest, you don’t need to know how you are going to get out. All you have to do is realize what the next thing is. I'm on a path so I have to follow a path. The path has to lead somewhere so where does the path go? Well, in my mind I just saw a witch’s hut so it goes to a witch’s hut. So what happens in the witch’s hut? I can't block it and leave it. I can't keep running around and around the witch’s hut forever, that’s wimping. I have to go inside. What do I find inside? Well, I'm going to find a witch, aren’t I? The witch is going to say something to me. What is she going to say? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 273 Well, I don’t know. At this point I want to block it and maybe run away but I can't block it because I know the emotion. So, I'm going to say, “The witch looks at me and says, ‘You're just in time for dinner.’” So I'm going to ask her, “What’s for dinner?” And she says, “You are!” So notice, how I don’t know where the story is going to be at any stage. All I know is where am I right now and what is the next logical thing. Remember that keeping it inside a circle makes it very simple because the next logical step is already implied by the very story that you are telling. Bear these principles in mind because it’s going to make you a master class storyteller and then you can start using this as a hypnotic story itself. So when you practice your storytelling out loud either with a tape recorder or with a friend, make sure you pay attention inside yourself that you're not blocking or wimping the action and you’ll be sure to succeed at this. Track 20 How your storytelling experience will progress Now that you are on your way to becoming a master class storyteller, we will be learning to shape these stories into hypnotic stories on CD 9, which is the extension and the final part to the things that you’ve been learning here. Now I would like you to realize a few things that you'll probably experience on your journey to becoming a master class storyteller. These exercises that I have created for you have been designed very specifically to build your brain into a storytelling brain. So do these exercises frequently. Like going to the gym, the more you do them, the better you will become at this. At the moment, I'm not really fussed [UK expression: “I don’t care”] about how much hypnotic content you have or how real the stories are. Master Storyteller’s Strategy 1: Let Your Own Stories “Slip Out” Naturally What you will notice happening over time, as you begin to get more and more used to this and your brain kind of relaxes into the rhythm of storytelling, you’ll notice that your unconscious mind will naturally begin to remind you of stories in your own life that fit the criteria that have been set out. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 274 So whether you're are talking about one of the emotional story exercises or the incorporation exercises, at some point one of the items might remind you of something funny that happened to you or something normal that happened to you. So suddenly you’ll want to slip into a real story and that’s fine. You see, over time that will happen more and more and eventually it will actually be easier for you to find a normal story out of your own life than the ones you made up. So making up stories is really just training wheels. There's nothing that prevents you from making up stories with other people as well. But if you want to keep things authentic and real in the interactions that you are doing, you want to also be able to share real stories about yourself and your own past. When you do that, storytelling will hook in naturally to your experiences and let it come through. Expect it to happen. It will happen and when it does just smile and recognize it. Master Storyteller’s Strategy 2: Collect A Storehouse Of Great Stories The other thing that is going to happen, some of the stories that you tell, whether you invent them or they come out of your own life or even the lives of friends or people that you’ve read about, is you talk about these things more and more. Eventually, you’ll start coming across one or two stories which you absolutely adore, which have a great impact on people, which are a cut above the rest. These stories I'm going to invite you to write down. Not the whole story word for word mind you, just the highlights of it. As you write it down, you’ll be able to rehearse it and use it as a stock of stories that are going to be there for you whenever you need them. So this stock of stories will be something that you will be able to trot out again and again and again and refine each time to have certain effect. For example, I have some stories which I naturally think of whenever I want to build a rapport with people. These are stories about my past, about things that I've been doing and about who I am as a person. These stories naturally come to my mind as I talk to someone else. Everyone does this instinctively. This is what natural storytellers do. The only difference is that you are going to have the capacity of both having some stock stories as a back up and to know that you can rely on them. You’ll also have the ability to either make up or spontaneously remember stories that fit the exact situation you happen to be in. Now, an important point to remember: When you have a stock story that you’ve remembered and you want to trot out once again, the best way to kill that story is © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 275 to memorize it word for word and just repeat it and have absolutely no life in it whatsoever at all. No! Master Storyteller’s Strategy 3: Remember Only The Highlights Of Each Story The way you keep a story alive, and this by the way is a secret of the old storytellers of Europe or the shaman of Africa or of any of the master storytellers throughout time, the secret is the story itself is just a series of highlights or highpoints that you keep inside your mind. When you talk to someone, all you are going to do is unpack those highlights using all of your other linguistic skills; your ability to use sensory-rich language, your tonality, your ability to offer better descriptions. You are going to either expand the story or contract it. A master class storyteller can tell the same story in a minute or in an hour depending on what the audience needs to hear, wants to hear, and what the point is he is trying to bring across. The old school of storytellers where all the fairytales come from, like the Brothers Grimm for example, had a stock of stories, maybe five or ten, and they would tell these stories over and over and over again to the same people in their village. The reason that the people would love to hear these over and over again is precisely because he wouldn't tell quite the same story each time. He would change the nuances, the rhythm, the pace, the timing. Sometimes he would take a long time to make the way through the forest. Other times he would be through the forest in a few minutes and he would spend a much longer time in the witch’s hut. Master Storyteller’s Strategy 4: Use Your Signal Recognition System It all depends on what other people need to hear at that point in time. When your signal recognition system is wide open and alert, you will be able to see the reactions of the people around you and you will be able to craft the story in a way that they want to hear. Remember your signal recognition system is key because it is your key to going to their unconscious mind and presenting a story that will captivate them because they want and need to listen to it. At that point, you can put in your own content and the embedded suggestions and all the other things that you do and really create a marvelous hypnotic experience with someone. Track 21 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 276 Exercises So now you have a lot of experience with storytelling. The exercises for this session will be pretty much the exercises we’ve been covering throughout this CD. Keep doing them in different ways. Keep doing them and keep it alive inside your mind. Start combining the exercises together. For example, you can put the exercise where you incorporate three items together with the exercise where you actually create an emotional theme or emotional undertone and start to create something bigger together. So you have both items and emotions all rolled into the same story. Then you can start refining even further and making sure that the themes are hypnotic themes. You can turn the items into either hypnotic items or even embedded suggestions, specific words that you want to be sure that you include inside the story as suggestions. So you now have a hypnotic theme, you have hypnotic processes. Remember you can create the story in such a way that it mirrors the situation of the person that you are with is going to be in, either to resolve a problem or to spur them to do certain things. Then as your favorite stories start coming out, particularly the real ones, keep track of them so that you end up building up a reservoir of stock stories that you can use time and time again in all kinds of situations. So you always know that they are there as a back up, while at the same time continuing to generate new stories so that you have both sides of the coin. You have the ability to create stories spontaneously and that freedom and creativity. You also have the ability to roll out well-polished stock stories that you know will have the impact every time for those occasions where it is important for you to succeed. Take your time to really work through these exercises time and time again. It really does condition your brain in new ways. Then when we get on to the later CDs, CD 9 in particular will take your ability to create stories and will shape these into hypnotic experiences. There is no point in going on to CD 9 until you can actually generate some basic stories all by yourself because you’ll have to hone those stories into hypnotic stories and that’s what we’ll teach you in CD 9. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 277 Track 22 End of CD7 Well, you have reached the end of CD 7, How to Destroy Resistance with Stories. If you continue practicing the exercises, you will really become a master class storyteller and later, as I said, on CD 9 you’ll learn to use the stories that you’ve created here and turn them into hypnotic interactions. However, on the next CD, CD 8, entitled Conversational Inductions: Dealing Directly with the Unconscious Mind, you’ll discover the secrets of putting everything that you’ve learned so far together into an actual hypnotic induction that people won't even realize is happening. You’ll be able to do these inside normal conversations. I will show you different types of processes that you can use in order to induce hypnotic trance in other people in what seems like an innocent, ordinary conversation. Now, everything that you’ve learned so far is coming to this culmination point on CD 8 because these are all the building blocks that will come together to create these rich and wonderfully captivating hypnotic experiences. You will learn the power of using pure process language within a conversation. You’ll learn the pacing and leading principle inside of an actual hypnotic induction spoken through a conversation. You’ll learn the powerful conscious and unconscious disassociation which will create a split between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind and allow you to talk to the unconscious mind directly. You’ll see how you can use sensory-rich language to bring out experiences inside the unconscious mind in all different kinds of guises. We will also introduce a special vehicles like the “my friend John” technique and extended quotes that allows you to completely change realities around people. So they think that they are talking about one thing, but in reality you are actually getting inside them and allowing them to experience hypnotic experiences. All these things are waiting for you on the next CD, number 8 in this series. Before you go there, remember to practice everything that you’ve learned so far and keep practicing it because these skills are cumulative. I look forward to speaking to you again on the next CD. Until then, enjoy growing in your conversational hypnosis skills. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 278 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD8 Conversational Inductions: How to Deal Directly with the Unconscious Mind Track 1 Welcome Welcome to CD 8 of this Conversational Hypnosis Home Study program. On this CD, entitled “Conversational Inductions: Dealing Directly with the Unconscious Mind,” we have some very exciting things planned for you. What you will be discovering is how to put together everything you have learned so far into a very beautiful and elegant conversational induction. Now we will begin, actually, believe it or not, by being very direct, to give you a very simplified version of a very traditional, standard, direct hypnotic induction. This will allow you to cut your teeth on becoming a true hypnotist. Once you have done that a little bit, we will show you how to adjust that and to create your first hypnotic induction purely as part of a conversation. It is called the hypnotic gaze induction. It is very, very powerful. We will show you, first of all, how to create it, then we will take you through it step by step, and I will give you a demonstration of it in action, so you can experience it. At the end of it, we will also talk you through those experiences, so you can actually deconstruct the example I gave you. And I will give you some hints and tips on how to refine that even further to make it increasingly indirect so people can't tell when you are talking to them normally, and when a conversational induction is happening. So the whole thing becomes a beautiful and organic whole piece of communication. Hypnotic Warning Now at this point, I must give you a word of warning. Because we are talking about conversational inductions, I am going to be slipping in and out of hypnotic language and hypnotic tonalities, constantly throughout this CD. So please, if you are driving a car or operating any kind of machinery, do not listen to this CD until you stop whatever you are doing and can pay full attention to what is going on here. This is very important to put all your attention on learning these things and can continue to do whatever you are doing now safely without the distraction of this CD to take your mind away from things. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 279 Now as soon as you are ready to do this and you are ready to go ahead and learn all about conversational inductions, just sit back, relax, and enjoy learning conversational hypnosis. Track 2 How to become a good conversational hypnotist So let's look, straightaway, at how you induce a trance in another person. Well, remember, to a certain extent, you have already been doing this in the last seven CDs of this course already. So this is nothing new. What we will be doing is refining some of the processes which will give you very specific things to do that will almost guarantee that the person you are with will enter into a hypnotic trance. The Four-Stage Protocol Now remember, as you do this, the four stage protocol you learned all the way back on CD 1 is going to be the primary key to everything you do. Stage 1: Absorb Attention So whenever you want to engage in some hypnotic process, the first thing you must do is absorb attention. You must get people's attention. Stage 2: Bypass Critical Function Next, you must somehow bypass their critical thinking, that conscious factor that can get in the way of them accepting your suggestions. Stage 3: Activate An Unconscious Response The next stage is to somehow activate some kind of unconscious response. Stage 4: Lead The Unconscious Response To A Desired Result And finally, you can lead that unconscious response. You can take it towards whatever outcome or final destination you want to take them to. So the very first thing you need to do is look at how to fixate the attention in whatever way you can do this. Now, there are many different ways to fixate people's attention. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 280 One would be to tell them something of interest, perhaps to hook their curiosity with a question. Perhaps to dangle the key or a carrot of something they want in front of them. And sometimes it is just as simple as asking them directly to fix their attention on whatever it is you are saying or whatever it is you are doing. Now this is an important point, because although you are learning conversational hypnosis in order to be more indirect, in order to be able to bypass resistances in a way that people don't really pay attention to what you are doing, it sometimes is the easiest thing to do to simply be direct and ask someone to do something very directly, and that will get the best results. Now if you look at the world's greatest hypnotists: Milton Erickson, Richard Bandler – the people who have made indirect hypnosis into a high art form, all of these people have absolutely no compunction when the time is right, to simply tell their clients or patients whatever they want them to do in a very direct, upfront sort of manner. And this is going to be one of the secrets in making you a better conversational hypnotist; in fact, making what you do even more indirect. Secret Of Hypnosis 1: Be Very Direct One of the secrets is learning the art of being very direct and asking for exactly what you want, without any pfaffing about [UK expression meaning “to mess about” or “waste time doing something that doesn’t work”], without any embarrassment or any hesitation. There is another reason for you to get used to being very direct in your hypnotic inductions. And that is because the easiest way, the simplest way to learn hypnosis is to learn to be very direct first of all. Secret Of Hypnosis 2: Move From Being Direct To Indirect As Your Skill Improves Once you have mastered the art of direct suggestion, direct hypnotic interventions, then you can begin to add subtleties and smooth things out and take things off into the background. Fade them into the background of your communication so that you can become increasingly more indirect. So what we will be doing on this CD is taking you from very simple, direct patterns of hypnotic inductions, to increasingly more indirect patterns. So that by the time you get to the end of this CD, you will have all kinds of wonderful conversational patterns of inductions which will put people into hypnotic trance in a matter of moments throughout any normal conversation. Track 3 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 281 The 60 second hypnotist Okay; so we are going to begin now with a very direct induction. This induction is called the “Sixty Second Hypnotist”. It is a very powerful induction, because it has condensed all the other very direct inductions down into their simplest constituent form. The Sixty Second Hypnotist is something that you can do with all your friends or all your family as a way for you to gain skills to understand the hypnotic process. And at the same time, the trade-off for them is they will learn how to relax and access their own inner mind, their unconscious mind a little bit more fully. So everyone should gain from this particular experience. Now, the reason the Sixty Second Hypnotist is a very powerful induction for you to practice is that not only has it got the seeds of all the hypnotic inductions built into it, so you will already have the feel for what a conversational induction is meant to do, it is also something that you can do very quickly. Secret Of Hypnosis 3: Get A Lot Of Experience In other words, you can have a lot of experiences doing this and it is important for you to get as much experience under your belt as possible. At this stage in your training, assuming you have no prior experience in hypnosis, one of the most important things for you to do is to be able to get hundreds of experiences of doing inductions of other people. Now, if you have an hour of experience, or a ten second experience, at this point it doesn't matter as much as the fact that you are doing the whole process of an induction and the whole process of bringing people back again afterwards. If you do that a hundred times, a thousand times, you will become a very good hypnotist just by being able to do that process itself, by having that engrained in the back of your own mind. So having a simple process that will last maybe ten to fifty seconds is a great way to get a volume of experience that you wouldn't get otherwise. Remember, you don't have to do long, drawn out, hour long inductions--just a minute or two is enough for you to get the practice and the experience you need right now. Later on, of course, we will show you how to take these principles and change them into increasingly more conversational inductions that you can slip into normal conversations. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 282 So, having said all this, how do we actually do the Sixty Second Hypnotist? Exercise Explanation: The 60 Second Hypnotist This is a four-phase induction; there are four phases you have to go through. The phases are very simple, and are phases that all your inductions will go through at some point. 1. The first phase of the induction is the actual induction itself, creating the conditions for trance. 2. The second phase is a deepener, to deepen the actual trance experience they are having. 3. The third phase is to formulate suggestions, to present beneficial suggestions that the person can improve their life in some way. 4. And finally, we have the reorientation, the ending part of the trance process, bringing them back to normal conscious wakefulness. It is a very simple process, but remember: 1. 2. 3. 4. the first step is induction, the second step is deepener, the third stage is suggestions, and the fourth stage is to bring them back again. So how do we put these four steps into action? The first thing I am going to suggest you do is put a particular frame of reference around the induction. Now, we will talk more about frames of references in a few CDs’ time. The “Let’s Pretend” Frame For the moment it is enough that you turn the whole exercise into a game of “Let's pretend”. Now, the reason you can turn this into a let's pretend game is because it actually takes away a lot of the pressure from you to perform in a particular way. You are going to pretend to be a great hypnotist, and whatever person you are working with is going to pretend to be a great hypnotic subject. Now this is important. Even if they don't know what hypnosis feels like, if they have never been in an official hypnotic trance, that is okay. Everyone will have certain expectations and will believe that certain things will happen to them in a hypnotic trance. And provided they pretend those things are happening to them and sort of go into that “game” atmosphere of the whole thing, things will begin to happen. They will © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 283 begin to actually activate a trance response provided that they’ve pretended for long enough. So the thing that pretending allows you to do is first of all it takes the pressure off you of having to do anything in particular. You don't have to be particularly good and you don't have to be particularly successful, because it is just a game of pretend. It also takes the pressure off your first few clients, because they can pretend to go into a trance, and because they don't really know what they are supposed to be doing, it actually takes away the pressure from them to do anything specific. They will just go along with the flow and begin to enjoy themselves. Now you will know when you have got it right because you will see the signals that someone is going into a hypnotic trance. Remember all the way back on CD 2, we looked at signal recognition systems in order to be able to tell when someone is going into a trance. Now is the time to really use them and realize when someone is pretending and when someone is having a physiological shift in their state. So you are going to pretend to put someone into a trance and they are going to pretend to respond to you by going into a trance, or pretending to go into a trance. Of course, somewhere along the lines, the boundaries will begin to slip. But what is it you will actually do in order to get them into that trance? The Four Steps Of The 60 Second Hypnotist Well, these four phases can be turned into a very simple set of instructions in order to help someone go into a trance. What are these instructions? Step 1 (60 Second Hypnotist): Induction Let's take the first phase. The first phase is an induction. An induction can be as simple as saying to someone, “Close your eyes and go into a trance." By the way, if you notice, I am already beginning to shift my tonality a little bit, to make it more suggestive. And all we are doing is getting them to close their eyes and go into a trance. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 284 By the way, did you notice how that simple statement, "Close your eyes and go into a trance," is already embedded inside of the very linguistic bridges you’ve been learning on CD 3, the core of your hypnotic language? "Close your eyes and go into a trance." You have linked the closing of eyes as something that will help them go into a trance, although those two things are not necessarily linked to one another. Step 2 (60 Second Hypnotist): Deepener The next step after closing their eyes and telling them to go into a trance, will be to ask them to go deeper into a trance. Now, again, you will use the same idea of linguistic bridges, of linking one action with a response. And the way they can do this is to say that: "every time you feel me touching you on the shoulder like this…" and then just gently touch them on the shoulder, "…you are going to go deeper and deeper and deeper." Of course, whenever you say “deeper and deeper and deeper” you will be touching them lightly on the shoulder again and again, and again. So you have a linking between a physical action, the touching on the shoulder, and an action, an internal response of going deeper into a trance. So, so far you have created an induction, and you have created a small deepener. Now we are going to assume they are in this wonderful hypnotic state and their mind is wide open to learn new things, to discover new things about themselves. Step 3 (60 Second Hypnotist): Suggestion Phase At this point it is worthwhile putting in a few wonderful suggestions inside them, so that they can benefit from the actual trance experience. This is stage three, if you remember, the suggestion phase. The suggestion phase will be as simple as "And as you open your mind at the right level, you will find it opening up to new learnings, so you can discover how to relax and feel more comfortable, wherever you go, and whatever you do.” So what I am doing there is just putting a little suggestion in, that the fact that they are helping me with this exercise will give them a payoff. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 285 The payoff is that they will become more relaxed as a person and feel more comfortable in whatever they end up doing in their life. So this is important, because it gives them a reason for wanting to keep practicing with you, and everyone wins out. Step 4 (60 Second Hypnotist): Reorientation Now, the final phase is the reorientation phase. The bring them back out of trance phase. In order to do this, you are simply going to tell them that you are “going to count up from one to five, and on the count of five they are going to open their eyes, feeling refreshed, relaxed, alert, and simply fantastic.” You will then count up and remind them to come out. So, say something like this: "In a moment, I am going to count from one to five, and on the count of five you will open your eyes, feeling refreshed, relaxed, alert, simply fantastic, and ready to get on with your day. “So ready now. One, coming up slowly. Two, waking up more and more. Three, bring yourself back. Four, almost there now. Five, open your eyes feeling refreshed, relaxed, alert. Simply fantastic." And that is it! That is the whole Sixty Second Hypnotist procedure rolled into one very simple formula. On the next track, I am actually going to give you a demonstration of this in action, so you can actually go along with it and experience it for yourself. In the meantime, just notice how simple it is. Notice also how on all of the induction parts of the first three phases of this induction we used a more trancey tonality. And on the last phase, the reorientation, I switch my tonality around again to a more normal, more everyday speaking kind of voice. This gives them a very powerful suggestion to come back out into a normal, everyday kind of consciousness as well. So listen to these steps again if you need to, to get them clear inside your mind. Then move on to the next track and actually take part in it so you can experience this yourself. By the way: As a rule of thumb, the people who can access the best trances themselves, end up becoming the best hypnotists, because they know what to expect, they know what it feels like and they can go first themselves. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 286 So there is a strong correlation to your ability to go into a trance and your ability to actually be a great hypnotist. So you might as well train both faculties right at the same time. Track 4 Demonstration: 60 second hypnotist So here is the Sixty Second Hypnotist as an exercise. Find a quiet place where you can sit down and feel comfortable in, without any disturbances from the outside world. Now remember, what we are about to do is play a game of “Let's pretend”. You are going to pretend to follow my instructions and pretend to go into a trance. What does it mean to go into a trance? Well, you have to answer that. You have to make sure your face takes on the expression that someone in a trance has. Make sure you are breathing in the same way as someone who goes into hypnotic trance will breathe, and make sure your posture looks like what you would expect someone in a trance to be sitting like. And that is all you have to do, as well as listen to my suggestions, and all I will do is I will describe certain processes to you, so that listening to me will help you to pretend to go into a trance more and more fully each time. So make sure you are sitting comfortably. Take a deep breath in and as you breath out just close your eyes and go into a trance. That is right. Now every time you hear me say the word “deeper” I would like for you to just go deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper still into the most pleasant, comfortable and relaxing hypnotic trance you have ever experienced. So ready now, just go deeper and deeper and deeper still. Feel that relaxation developing inside, and as you feel that relaxation continuing to develop inside, notice how your mind begins to open up to respond and learn new things. And one of those things is really worthwhile learning properly, and that is learning how to relax, completely comfortably, wherever you are and whatever you do. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 287 So as you sit there, listening to me, you are learning to feel comfortable and relaxed more and more fully, so that as the days and the weeks and the months go by, you will find yourself being more relaxed as a person, more comfortable and more easy to get along with, so you can enjoy your life more and more fully. Now, it is time for you to come back. And as soon as you are ready to come back, I am going to count from one to five. And on the count of five, I want you to open your eyes feeling refreshed, relaxed, alert, and simply fantastic. So as I count one to five, you will become more and more awake with each number. On the count of five, you will open your eyes, refreshed, relaxed and alert, simply fantastic. So let's do that now. One, coming up slowly. Two, more and more alert. Three, beginning to move your body a little bit. Four, beginning to kind of stretch. Five, open your eyes feeling refreshed, relaxed, alert, simply fantastic. Congratulations! Good job, and well done! Track 5 Breakdown of 60 second hypnotist demonstration Congratulations! That was your first official hypnotic induction and it was pretty simple, wasn’t it? Notice how as you listen to the previous track you can go through the four stages of the Sixty Second Hypnotist: 1. 2. 3. 4. the induction, the deepener, the suggestions, and then re-orienting someone at the end. Notice also how, while I am using those four anchor points as the main points of the induction, I’m actually moving them around a little bit, changing things a little bit, adding things a little bit, expanding it a little bit. And that’s fine because you’re using this as a structure from which you can learn. Now even though that induction was just two minutes long, you should have noticed that a whole bunch of things were built into it that you’ve already been practicing over the course of the last seven CDs. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 288 You’ve had your hypnotic language, particularly your linguistic bridges. You’ve had your “Yes” sets and the various types of authority strategies built in. Notice how my tonality began to change both on the way down and on the way back up again, building a different rhythm, a different pitch, a different volume. Notice also how the suggestions began to formulate and tell a little story by themselves. You always want to get the unconscious mind on your side and it certainly doesn’t hurt to start bribing it to give a better life and offering it a better future, because that way everyone seems to win out. The important thing on that induction is not what you just heard and experienced yourself doing. That’s just the beginning. Now it’s your turn to go out and do these with as many different people as you can. Do these with at least 10 people before you come back and listen to the next track, because you’re going to need that experience, which will then refine and begin to turn into the first, official, conversational induction. So stop this CD now and come back to the next track once you’ve had the chance to do the Sixty Second Hypnotist with at least 10 people to get some real experience under your belt. Track 6 Explanation of the hypnotic gaze induction Congratulations! You should feel like a real hypnotist now and that is because you are. You have put people into trances in just a few moments of your time. Now, relaxation and comfort and inducing those things are one thing. How do you start doing this? How do you begin to alter people’s realities in the context of a normal, everyday conversation? You are in a normal conversation. You are talking to someone and decide, “This would be a great time to use some of my Conversational Hypnosis patterns,” – to achieve whatever outcome is in your mind at the time. So what do you actually do? The first thing we are going to practice is something called the hypnotic gaze induction. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 289 This induction is something I would call semi-overt. In other words, it can be kind of overt and very obvious; it can also be covert, and less obvious. So this becomes an ideal next step from the Sixty Second Hypnotist, which is very overt, very direct. The beauty about the hypnotic gaze induction is, when you begin, you can begin with it as a very overt sort of thing, and as you become more experienced, you can become more and more covert, more and more indirect in the way that you use it and therefore become much more conversational in the way that you apply the hypnotic gaze induction. As its name implies, one of the key things that you will do in the hypnotic gaze induction is you will focus on someone, locking eye contact, and that eye contact will do many different things at the same time. The Myth Of The Hypnotic Gaze Banished Now before we go into the actual technique and the technical details of how to do the hypnotic gaze induction, a couple of words about the history of hypnosis. There is a great myth around hypnosis, and particularly about inducing a state of altered consciousness in someone else by almost will power alone. If you look at some of the old school hypnotic manuals, particularly those from the classical hypnotist, the stage hypnotist, a lot of them will emphasize this idea of personal power, this idea of overpowering someone else's will. Now clearly that is no longer the case. We no longer believe that to be true because there is a lot more science behind the actual application of hypnosis. But there are certain things, parts of those myths, which are actually very important, because inside them are the seeds of a genuinely powerful hypnotic induction. The idea of a “hypnotic gaze” has persisted throughout the centuries. Some people will call it the evil eye, el ojo male [Spanish translation]. Others have called it charisma. Others have called it a steely gaze. It doesn't matter what you call it, the fact is, there is something about eye contact that human beings respond to very, very powerfully. And the thing about eye contact is, it can be done aggressively and it can be done as an invitation, as a more relaxed thing. And it is very important that whatever eye contact that you make actually sends the signals that you want to be sending to people. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 290 So as I start to break down the technical details of the hypnotic gaze induction, I want you to be very clear inside your mind. You are not creating some sort of occult condition. You are not overpowering someone's will with your own mental willpower. And you are not going to be transferring some sort of strange magnetic influence that will somehow overpower the other person. These are all things that, if you want to believe them, by all means go ahead and do that. You won't do any harm. But if all you do is believe that and do none of the physical mechanisms that are actually needed inside of the hypnotic gaze induction, then you won't necessarily be very successful. The hypnotic gaze induction rests on the way people respond to eye contact from other human beings. 1st Secret Of The Hypnotic Gaze: It Absorbs Attention So the first thing that happens when you make eye contact with someone else is that it actually grabs your attention. It is actually a very powerful way to get other people's attention. And remember, the very first thing you need to do in any hypnotic induction from the four stage protocol all the way back from CD 1, is to fixate someone's attention, to absorb their attention. Eye contact is a wonderful thing, because it has that ability to absorb someone's attention locked into it. There are so many times that people are told, “Keep someone's eye contact, you have to maintain eye contact.” It is polite, it is all these other different things. But you know for a fact when you make eye contact with someone else and you maintain it, somehow they feel obliged to respond, and it is that obligation to respond that actually begins the trance process, that actually allows you to turn this into hypnotic induction. So you have already demanded someone's attention just by locking on eye contact. 2nd Secret Of The Hypnotic Gaze: It Increases Resposiveness The second thing I have already intimated is that it begins to raise tension levels in someone else. It’s almost like something is expected of them. They need to respond in some way, and that kind of internal tension, internal desire to respond in some way is © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 291 something you are going to use, you are going to channel to respond to you by hypnotically interacting with you. You begin to build a response potential. Now the wonderful thing about that tension that is being raised inside someone – or should I say that response potential that is beginning to build inside of someone else as you lock eye contact – is that it is such a primitive response that it evokes in someone else, it has the effect of completely bypassing the normal conscious critical thinking. At first, sure, people will still have that critical thinking there, but the greater that tension builds up, the more their thinking reverts to a much more primitive way of thinking. That primitive way of thinking is an equivalent to saying they are thinking in a much more unconscious level. It is a much more direct, unbiased way of thinking. That already allows you to go straight through to stage three of the hypnotic protocol, which makes your life much, much easier. 3rd Secret Of The Hypnotic Gaze: It Subtly Suggests A Hypnotic Trance Now, a very important thing about the hypnotic gaze induction is that you subtly sub-communicate the hypnotic trance; you subtly add suggestions to someone else to go into a trance themselves. How do you do that? Well, the first thing you want to do is you want to go first. Remember that if you want someone to experience a particular state or altered state of consciousness, you need to access it yourself first, because it gives a very powerful, nonverbal sub-communication that this is something they should follow and do themselves. The next thing you want to do is look through them. Look through their eyes or even the roof of their nose, and we will look at more subtle distinctions of that in a moment. You look right through the other person, which gives them a sense that they are not being looked at, but that someone is looking right inside of themselves. 4th Secret Of The Hypnotic Gaze: Sub-Communicate Good Will You want to project good will of the other person. This is so important. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 292 If you project hostility, if you project insecurity, the only thing that will happen is you will begin to augment whatever it is that you project. So say you project hostility, the chances are the other person will respond to you by being more and more hostile. Or with the opposite, which is to become more and more vulnerable and make them feel more and more afraid of you. These are both bad things; do not do that. The best thing to do to get someone into hypnotic trance is to make them feel safe, make them feel comfortable, and make them want to do this experience over and over again. So project goodwill. How do you do that? Well, go back to the instant rapport technique that you experienced on CD 2 and have that sense of good will building up inside of you, that sense of good rapport that you have with other people, and project that. The way you project it is by just feeling it and almost kind of willing the other person to have it. Now, this is not that you will be kind of transmitting your thoughts to the other person by some psychic thing. What is happening there is that your physiology, your body language changes in accordance to your own mood and in accordance to your own thoughts. And that gives some very subtle suggestions to the person of how to interact with you. So this sub-communication cannot be emphasized enough. 5th Secret Of The Hypnotic Gaze: Confidence Breeds Success The final thing to remember about the hypnotic gaze induction is you must expect the other person to go into a trance. You must be sure of yourself, because if you are not sure of yourself, if you project insecurity, all you are sub-communicating to that point is that whatever interaction you are having, it will somehow fail. If you project failure, the other person will not surprise you. They will do exactly what it is you want them to do, or at least exactly what you are projecting them to do, which is they will not go into a trance. Now in order to expect it to happen, there are certain things you want to avoid doing yourself. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 293 You want to avoid basically sub-communicating any kind of expectation of failure by avoiding the normal automatic defense mechanisms that people fall into when they feel unsure of themselves. What are these automatic defense mechanisms? Well, it is too much blinking. There are tears inside of your eyes. There is yawning or The quick and furtive glances away, the shifting your gaze from eye to eye, or The shifting your own physiology, your own body language, moving your weight from one foot to the other too much. There is nervous tension and fidgeting. Even the way you talk, the speed and rhythm at which you talk. All these things will sub-communicate to the other person whether or not you are feeling confident. You want to project confidence, which is a clear, steady gaze locked onto one position and unmoving. You want to have a soft feature. You want to be in peripheral vision yourself, which softens your own physical features and projects physical relaxation rather than tension. You want to breathe comfortably, preferably breath deeply, which projects a sense of comfort in the sense that you trust that things will go the right way. Now these are the things which you want to be doing. Having said that, if your client, the person you are working with, is someone who is actually activating all these defense mechanisms, they blink more often, yawn, keep looking away, they fidget – these are actually all good signs because it shows you that they are building that internal pressure that we talked about and are actually beginning to respond to you in the way that you want them to. So if you see your client responding to you in that way, that is an excellent sign that they are actually going into a trance or at least they are building a response potential to do that. Once that potential has built up enough, once that internal response potential has built up enough, they will lose any excuse to escape that potential and move in a particular direction. At that point a very simple, clear induction or instruction like "Close your eyes and go into a trance" will have a very powerful effect. Of course, in the meantime, you will be demonstrating to them in which direction their minds will go by having a very clear, very focused, unwavering gaze, which © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 294 at the same time is very friendly and very soft, so that it projects both a complete fixation of focus and comfort and relaxation at the same time. Now this has been a lot of information for you to take in. So feel free to go back and re-listen to this track several times to pick up on all the nuances before you move on to the next track. On the next track, I will actually take you step by step through the actual procedure for using the hypnotic gaze induction, and on the track after that, I will actually do one for you to experience yourself. Track 7 Exercise: the hypnotic gaze induction So here is the procedure for the hypnotic gaze induction. Step 1: Go First The first step, as in any induction, is for you to go first. What do I mean to go first? Well number one, you get to use the instant rapport technique in order to project feelings of goodwill and comfort and ease, because that is the kind of feelings you want the other person to have as they are going into a trance. Number two, you want to yourself begin to enter a trance state as well, where your mind is focused and your attention is externalized so it gives them the signals of what kind of experience to have as well. So when I say it is time for you to go into a trance yourself, I don't mean for you to sort of sit down and let your muscles relax and your body droop forward and your eyes to close, because that is what is called a downtime trance. That is an inside trance. That simply isn't very useful if what you are going to be doing is hypnotize someone else. So when I say go first, apart from the instant rapport technique in order to project the sense of comfort and ease, what I would like for you to do is to go into an outside trance. How do you do that? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 295 Well, it is actually quite simple. Go back to CD 2 on this series, and under the section of signal recognition systems, go back to that exercise where you expanded your vision, your hearing and your feelings into the room. And if you remember, I guided you through one of those experiences [The guided version is on CD2 Track 12. The exercise is explained step by step on CD2 Track 16]. You can think of this as your “hypnotist's trance”, a kind of trance where your attention is exerted outwards and you can actually function in the world, as well. So now you have set the scene. You have created a sense of ease and comfort between you and the person you are working with by using the instant rapport technique. You have also got into this hypnotic trance, this hypnotist's trance, where the attention is outside of yourself, by using the system of signal recognition on CD 2. Step 2: Focus Your “Hypnotic Gaze” The next step is for you to apply your hypnotic gaze. To do this, remember to use your peripheral vision, to keep your eyes nice and soft and that sense of smiling eyes. Get that sense of real friendliness into your eyes and maintain eye contact with the person you are looking at. If you want to practice this now, feel free to do so by looking into the mirror or just looking at the wall, and have that sense of your eyes being slightly wrinkled but soft, so you can see the corners of the room around you as you look at whatever you are looking at, or whatever person you are looking at. And above all else, you want to project a sense of goodwill towards them. There is also a sense of focusing through your target. What do I mean by this? Well, you can look at the person, or you can look inside the person, almost as if you are looking three or four inches through their head or through their eyes, into the back of their head. We can look through them, at a point three or four yards or feet behind them. Now, what you want to be doing as the hypnotic gaze induction begins to take effect is that you want to start on the outside. So you are looking just directly at their eyes. And slowly, you begin to shift your focus so that it is almost as if you © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 296 are looking inside their head, at the back of the head, and then a few feet behind them. And what this does is, that subtle shift in your own position sub-communicates to the other person that it is time to go further and further inside. This element is very, very important, so I really want you to practice this properly. If you want to practice this, one way you can do this is to set up two objects, for example, a couple of pens or a couple of books. Have one be reasonably close to you, as you would be when talking to a person, and have one about three or four feet or yards behind the first book or pen. Then rest your eyes on the tip of the first book and actually look at the first book, but then look through it to the second book, and notice how your eyes have to change focus. Now while you maintain your focus on the book that is behind the first book, put your eyes down so that you are looking at the cover of the first book. You will see that book in a strange kind of way; there will be strange relief, and the colors will somehow seem different, and that is just fine. That’s because you are focusing through the book at the book that is behind it. Now when you get used to doing that, when you get used to being able to look through something at something that is behind it while maintaining what seems like your overt attention on the surface of the first book, then you can do that with other people. So now you have a second step, which is to use a hypnotic gaze. Step one, go first; step two, apply your hypnotic gaze. Step 3: Use A Hypnotic Tonality Step three is actually very simple. It’s something that you have been doing on this CD set already, and that is to use your tonality, use your voice. Slow down the pace. Use your trance tones. Pause and create this real sense of space in the way that you talk. If you need to remind yourself about these things, go back to CD 3 about hypnotic language and refresh your memory on these things. If you want to have a nice metaphor for how to use these tonalities and how to express them when using your hypnotic gaze induction, think of someone trying to calm or soothe an animal, the kind of noises they will be making. It is all kind of soft and calm, and projecting this sense of trustworthiness. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 297 Well, these are the tonalities you want to be using while talking to another person, and using the hypnotic gaze. So as you get the hang of that, you can move on to the next stage, which is actually very simple. Step 4: Describe the Trance Experience You are going to be taking all the trance signals you have been building up over time, particularly on CD 2, and you are going to describe them to the other person. You are going to describe to them the signs and the experiences to let people know that they are going into a trance. Now I will be giving you an example of this in a moment so you will be able to follow those things, and you can look at your transcript which goes with this CD set, and actually look at the language as a template, if you like. Now the kind of things I am talking about is the kind of stuff we have been talking about all along already, which are things like relaxation of the features, softening of the muscles, softening of the eyes, breathing shifting, feeling comfort and relaxation inside, change of pupil dilation and changes in the way that they perceive the world around them, maybe eye closure or automatic movement. All these things are signs that someone is going into a trance; and you are going to describe these things right back at the person. Now the really interesting thing is, if at any point you see them actually manifesting one of these trance signals, then you begin to describe the very things they are doing as well, because that creates a kind of feedback loop. This is a feedback loop where on one point you are telling them what they are about to experience, and they do, and on the other point you actually talk about the very experience they are having as being a sign that they are going into a trance. At that point, the very things that they are experiencing will reinforce the trance process, and you are creating a very powerful double loop. So let's have a quick recap of those steps in order to be able to use the hypnotic gaze induction. Step one is go first. Use the instant rapport technique in order to project this sense of wellbeing and comfort. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 298 And then use your hypnotic trance process in order to get yourself into hypnotic trance, and externalize your focus. Step two is applying your hypnotic gaze. Maintain eye contact. Remember, we talked about this before. Make sure you avoid all the signals that you are somehow unsure of yourself, all your own spontaneous defense mechanisms; things like twitches, blinking or swallowing excessively, stammering or talking too fast. Your pupils flickering away from eye to eye or flickering away from eyesight altogether. Avoid all these things. Create a calm, clear, focused and steady gaze, which at the same time projects this kindliness. It is very important. Step three is use your trance tonalities, slow down your voice, use hypnotic tones, use pauses, and even use your hypnotic language, everything you learned on CD 3. Step four is using your hypnotic language from CD 3 to describe the signs and experience of the trance itself. And if at any stage you see them actually actualizing any of the hypnotic trance signals, then use those and incorporate them into the description that you are giving them. At that point you have the makings of an incredibly in depth and very, very powerful hypnotic induction. If you want an example of that, on the next track I will do this with you. Of course, because you are not here with me physically at present, I won't be able to do the hypnotic gaze element of it, but we will work around that. But you will hear the language, the tonalities, and all the other things that are of great importance for the hypnotic gaze induction. Track 8 Demonstration of the hypnotic gaze induction So we will begin this hypnotic gaze induction with you sitting comfortably somewhere where you won't be disturbed. So as soon as you are sitting comfortably and relaxing, I would like you to focus your attention somewhere in order to simulate the equivalent of the hypnotic gaze that would be present normally. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 299 Now, if you have a mirror in the room, you can actually focus on your own eyes and let those simulate the hypnotic gaze induction, so that you get the effect and the benefit of both. Alternatively, if you don't have a mirror handy, just focus your attention anywhere in the room, maybe somewhere slightly above eye level. And make sure your fixate all of your attention on that single spot. Now as you are sitting there and listening to the sound of my voice, I would like to talk to you a little bit about hypnosis and what it means to go into a hypnotic trance. Now, if while I talk to you, you should feel at any point you would be more comfortable listening to me with your eyes closed, then go ahead and close your eyes at any time. Continue to listen and pay careful attention, because what is important is not whether or not your eyes are open. What is important is how clearly you can hear my voice and really understand the processes that I am talking about now. And the first thing that you should notice about hypnosis is that it is a perfectly natural state. People are going into a trance all the time in the most natural settings. Every evening when you fall asleep, you are lying in bed and you have that comfortable sensation just before you fall deeply asleep. Perhaps you will find yourself thinking of memories, long forgotten memories, and that is just fine. It is just a natural part of the process of falling asleep at night. Now the really interesting thing is that hypnosis is accompanied by all kinds of physiological characteristics. For example, many people experience going into a trance as a very comfortable and deeply relaxing sensation. And it doesn't mean you have to relax in order to go into a trance, but if you are relaxing and experiencing an ever increasing amount of comfort inside, then chances are that you are beginning to go into a very pleasant hypnotic trance. And you really don't need to know exactly how you are doing it. All that matters is that you are going into a trance in the way that your unconscious mind needs to experience it, in order for you to learn something about yourself. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 300 And of course there are many different characteristics that are going to be telltale signs of someone who is going into a trance. Often people think about their eyes closing. And you don't need to close your eyes to know that you are in a trance, because many trances happen with your eyes wide open. And sometimes people simply close their eyes in order to really listen and understand more clearly. But sometimes it is more a matter of the eyes feeling heavy, and if your eyes feel heavy for either of those reasons, you can close them at any time before you were to go into a trance. And sometimes you really notice your breathing beginning to shift. Some people find that their breathing begins to speed up; other people find their breathing slows down. And it really doesn't matter if your breathing goes up or your breathing goes down. What matters is that the breathing changes from the normal, everyday pattern of breathing. And of course, you really can feel comfortable breathing differently. Now typically, as some of these things are happening, so your body feels the relaxation. The muscles in your eyes relax. The muscles in your face relax, creating this smooth wall of comfort that goes all the way down your face and into your body. If you have been storing tension in the muscles on the side of your jaw, you might even find these jaw muscles relaxing as you just drift into a more pleasant state of being. Now people experience trance in so many different ways. Some people get a warm glow, a heavy feeling in the body, while others make the body feel lighter and lighter, like it is floating away, and whether you feel like your body is floating away or melting all the way through that chair, it doesn't matter, because you are learning about hypnosis in your own particular way. And again, when you go into a trance, you tend to experience the world in a different way. For example, you might experience time a little differently, perhaps time just slows down and you really don't need to make time in order for it to slow down. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 301 It is just like standing in the queue of a bank or a post office, and the longer you wait, the longer it seems to take. Time just slows down. You can enjoy things when time slows in that way. Now, hypnosis is a wonderful state of being in which you can heal more quickly when you are physically recovering from physical injuries or illnesses that you may have had. And also from emotional conditions. In trance, people can respond and grow and heal old wounds so much more easily and quickly because your unconscious mind now has complete freedom to rebalance. And if you should ever find yourself in a trance, just allow your unconscious mind to do that rebalancing all by itself. Now I have talked quite some time about what it means to go into a trance, and really, I won't know how you experience trance until the first time you experience trance yourself. Now, of course, you have experienced informal trances all the time; when you fall asleep at night, when you daydream, when you read a good book, and all of these are informal trances because they are just a natural way for you to experience trance in an everyday setting, and one day you might even experience a formal trance. In other words, you will go into a trance and you will realize you have been in one only when you have left it, and look back on the experience to realize, “Hey, maybe that was a trance I just had.” Typically you will feel very comfortable. You will feel refreshed, relaxed and alert, simply fantastic, as a result of having been in that experience. And I am not saying you have experienced that now. But when you do in the future, you can look back on that experience that you have had and you realize that when you wake up from that hypnotic experience that you have had, that something inside you has shifted to a change for the better. And that really teaches you, or rather proves to you that your unconscious mind is always looking after you, and is there to make sure good things are happening to you. And all you need to do is allow your unconscious mind to do all those things, and suddenly your whole life rebalances. Now, the last thought that I want to leave you with about hypnosis is that at the end of any trance experience, you will feel so refreshed, so relaxed all over, that every part of you seems to be somehow revitalized and more energized. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 302 So typically people will get up from wherever they’re sitting and stretch and yawn and just move around a little bit and that makes them feel like they have had an experience that refreshed them and they really learned something from. Track 9 Breakdown of the hypnotic gaze induction demonstration Congratulations! You have now completed your first official conversational induction. Now if you look back over that last ten minute segment you’ll notice a lot of the things that we’ve talked about both on this CD and all the ones previous to this one that have been included within here. We have the language, we have the tonality, we have the fixation of attention. Remember also how we started off on this CD with the Sixty Second Hypnotist, a very simple structure for doing a very direct induction. We pretty much followed that same structure in this particular experience as well, only we did it more informally and more indirectly. The induction itself was just fixating your attention and talking about trance a little bit. The deepener was all about the different effects trance can have on you, on your breathing, on the way you’re feeling, on the way you’re thinking and perceiving time. Then we went through a little phase talking about different suggestions to improve your own life as a result of having been in this trance. Finally we did the awakening process. Notice how the awakening process was again kind of indirect. It was kind of ambiguous. Was I telling you at any stage to go into a trance and come back out of it? Or was I just describing what would happen if I did do that? Now this is important. This is a kind of semi-overt trance experience. It’s one which on one level sounds like, “Yes, he could be just describing trance.” And on another level I’m kind of mixing realities by letting you just actually experience the thing as well. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 303 One of the ways I’ve done that was actually to change my language along the way so at the beginning I may have started talking about how going into a trance can be experienced this way and that way. Then I started becoming ambiguous because I started saying, “When you go into a trance you experience this, you experience that.” Now notice how I’m being very direct, how I’m being very present tense. “You’re experiencing comfort. You’re experiencing going into a trance this way. You’re experiencing going into a trance that way.” From time to time, to keep your conscious mind a little bit tied up, a little bit confused, I keep coming out of that reality again, saying, “Of course, that’s what you would be experiencing if you were to go into a trance at that point. Other people have experienced it this way and you’ve experienced it that way.” Notice how again I’m using my language, I’ve used a lot of embedded commands, particularly about things like comfort, trance, going into hypnosis, etc. I also used one of my favorite phrases when I talked about people’s unconscious mind. I don’t talk about their subconscious mind, I talk about your unconscious. Because think about it. That word is a beautiful example of an embedded command. “Your unconscious” isn’t talking about a part of your mind, it’s actually an instruction. “You are unconscious”. You’re unconscious. And because of that ambiguity the unconscious mind will pick up both those meanings and take one of them as an actual instruction to follow while the conscious mind takes the other meaning as one which is talking on a theoretical basis about some part of the mind. You’ll notice a lot of pieces like that have been included in that last induction. For example, the awakening part, the reorienting part or the end of the trance was done purely by speeding up my tonality and shifting my tonality. Later on we’ll talk a little bit more about tonalities within the context of conversational hypnosis, as an induction itself. But notice how in this sense you’ve already awakened someone or taken someone out of trance by changing your tonality. At the end of it, also, I used the phrase “all over”. “You’ll feel refreshed all over.” But notice the word “all over” is again an instruction as well as a description. The instruction is, “This process is all over.” And of course that is another part that the unconscious mind will respond to in a very powerful way. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 304 There are lots of things like that for you to find just within that ten minute segment of a conversational induction. Go back and find it for yourself and really enjoy the process of teasing out all the different things that have been buried inside it. Now, here is where having a manuscript is very useful. The transcript that comes with this CD set will give you a word for word account for the whole of that ten minute induction that you’ve experienced. Feel free to take time to analyze it. Look at the language, look at how it’s structured. Now listen to it again, hear the rhythms and the different tonalities within it. Although you can find all these different things inside that induction you’re looking at a very simple level. Notice how I’m following the same four or five steps that we covered under the Sixty Second Hypnotist and how we actually used the five steps of the hypnotic gaze induction all the way through. In other words: 1. I set my own state. I started going first by projecting goodwill and actually putting myself into an altered state of consciousness. 2. Step two, I fixated your attention on an object on the wall, or maybe your own eyes, to substitute what I would normally do by actually locking eye contact with you. 3. Of course, I slowed down my voice and used the various trance tempos that we talked about. 4. Then I started describing the different signs and experiences that trance typically involves. Now at that point I could also include experiences that you might have. In other words, if I was there in front of you and I could see you relaxing your eyes or closing your eyes, I would incorporate that as well. Of course, because I don’t have that biofeedback, I wasn’t there physically in front of you, I couldn’t incorporate that element. Then we went back to the trance formula, so we induced a trance and deepened it doing these things. Then I talked a few suggestions up in order to give you a beneficial learning experience and I released an emotional experience of trance helping you in some particular way. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 305 It’s always useful to give the unconscious mind something beneficial to do while it’s in trance, because you may as well use the opportunity to give someone a better life. Then of course we brought you back by reversing that whole process. So now that I’ve actually broken down for you the whole hypnotic gaze induction, why don’t you go ahead and take a partner or a friend in a normal conversation and actually try that out for yourself. It’s important that you put everything you learned here into practice to actually build these skills. Track 10 How to refine the hypnotic gaze induction So we have looked at the structure of the hypnotic gaze induction and by now you will have had a bit of experience with practicing it as well. You will have noticed, by the way, that the example I gave you is kind of halfambiguous. In other words, it is half obvious and half not obvious that I am doing an induction. So it is a natural step forward from the Sixty Second Hypnotist, where it was totally obvious that I was doing a hypnotic induction. I have done this on purpose. The question is, how can you take the hypnotic gaze induction and make it even less obvious, even more indirect and more conversational so that people don't realize that you are using hypnotic induction? They just kind of fall into that experience. Refinement 1: Overt And Covert Hypnotic Voices The first thing I want to say on that point is that the language you have heard me use still counts. It is pretty much identical. The difference would be in the tonality. Notice how I slowed my tone down very quickly and actually created this very hypnotic tonality very, very quickly and early on. With people that you want to be a little less obvious about, you will change your tonality but only to a much smaller degree so that it becomes much less obvious as to what you are doing. So as one trance tonality might be [deepening, slowing tone] all the way down here, very obviously a kind of hypnotic tonality. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 306 A slightly less obvious way of using hypnotic tonality might be to just talk in a slightly different voice and actually changing it to be almost smoother, more like a radio voice. And while you talk this way, few people will think you are using hypnotic tonalities, because the voice tone is a little bit more normal. But the power and the impact can be the same. So you can have different tonalities depending on what you are trying to achieve, whether you are trying to be very obvious and overt, or you want to be less obvious and more covert, more indirect in what you are doing. As well as tonalities, there are some other things you can do to refine the hypnotic gaze induction and actually create a much more indirect way of communicating the trance experience. Refinement 2: My Friend John Technique A particularly useful technique for this is what is called the “my friend John” or “my friend Jane” technique. In this one you basically use all the same descriptions about hypnosis and what it feels like to go into a trance, etc. But instead of talking to the other person, you just describe to them the experience that your friend John or Jane had when he or she went to see a hypnotist, or when he or she was hypnotized by someone. And in that way, you create this weird sort of double reality, where you are talking about an experience someone else has had, but because you have biofeedback, it is actually reinforcing whatever your client at that time is actually giving you in signals. They know that you are actually talking about them at some level and so you create a very strong rapport with the unconscious mind. Refinement 3: Extended Quotes You can also use something called extended quotes, which we will come onto a little more in a later CD. With extended quotes, you are actually putting words into other people’s mouths. For example, you might say that a well-renowned hypnotist said, "You can just look someone in the eye and say, ‘Go into a trance now, and feel the comfort that it brings,' and people will just drop into trances naturally, without even thinking about it." © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 307 Now notice what I just did there; I created an extended quote. I quoted what someone else may have said about it. And by quoting someone else, it almost seems as if I am providing information. But of course, the information becomes an embedded suggestion for someone to go into trance and have those experiences. So, to recap the way you can refine the hypnotic gaze induction to be less obvious is you can talk about other people’s experiences so it makes it seem as if you are talking about someone else, and if they happen to go into a trance right in front of you at the same time, that might have been a lucky accident. The second thing you want to do is you want to change your tonalities a little bit. Change them so that they are a little bit less hypnotic, but still have that soothing, smoothing, calming undertone. The general rule is, think of an animal and how you talk to an animal where you try to calm it down, to gentle it. And if you do that with your voice, then you will pretty much have a very good tonality for creating very powerful trance experiences. Track 11 Bonus CD: Advanced Secrets to Bypass Resistance So we are coming to the close of this particular CD. Now before I come on to the exercises that I want you to practice on this CD in order for you to practice conversational inductions, I want to tell you that there are some more advanced conversational inductions that I really want to talk to you about. So I have decided to extend this CD set and add another bonus CD at the end of it called "Advanced Secrets to Bypass Resistance." And I strongly recommend to you that before you move on to CD 9, which technically is the next one in this series, that you actually go and jump to this bonus CD called "Advanced Secrets to Bypass Resistance" and you play it first in order to deepen your learning and understanding of doing conversational inductions. It will stand you in very good stead; even better is if you practice the exercises on this CD and on the bonus CD before you move on to CD 9, because it will really prepare you well for creating very rich hypnotic experiences. Track 12 Ex.1 Exercise 1 The first exercise I am going to ask you to do is one you have already hopefully been practicing, which is the Sixty Second Hypnotist. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 308 Go back to the earlier track and listen to those steps again, and do this often. This is one of the core exercises. The way I look at the Sixty Second Hypnotist is much as a musician will do his scales, will play his scales over and over and over again. It is a very, very powerful way to condition your own understanding of hypnosis and get a lot of experience under your belt. So do it frequently, do it often, and do it with a lot of people. Have fun with it. And remember, because you are using the "Let's pretend" frame, you don't take any risks with it, either. Track 13 Ex.2 Exercise 2 The next exercise is all about developing your ability to create the hypnotic gaze, and remember, a very important element is that you can hold eye contact with someone else, first of all in a friendly way, and secondly without flinching, without being nervous, without jittering, without moving, without doing any of these signs that you are somehow nervous or uncomfortable, or you don’t think something is going to work. In order to do this, I want you to begin to experiment with eye contact in the course of normal conversations with your friends and colleagues. Begin to hold your eye contact with them for longer and longer periods of time before you look away in the course of normal conversations. In other words, you are not trying to do anything else. You are not trying to do anything hypnotic or overt, et cetera. You are just getting used to the fact that you can hold someone's eye contact for increasingly long periods of time without yourself feeling embarrassed, without flinching, without blinking too much, without swallowing reflex. Just notice all these things as they occur and allow them to just subside. As you do this more and more, all these symptoms of your discomfort will actualize and then vanish and disappear. So it is good to get them out of your system now, before you actually try to use this in normal inductions. So remember, the only thing you are trying to achieve is to make increasingly longer periods of eye contact with other people and to avoid the normal signals that you are flinching or in any way being nervous. And that is it. Track 14 Ex.3 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 309 Exercise 3 The next exercise can be done in about four stages. Stage 1: Eye Contact & Slow, Hypnotic Voice Once you can maintain eye contact with someone else during a conversation and extend that eye contact to increasingly long periods of time, you can start adding speech patterns. Begin to slow your speech down and make your speech a little smoother. And just keep doing that until you find that bit being quite easy to do. Step 2: Focus Through The Person The next stage once you can maintain eye contact and begin to slow your speech down in a smooth sort of way will be to add the focus. Begin to focus inside the person. So you might look at one eye or the other eye. If you can’t actually make contact and look at the eye itself, you can always look at the bridge of the nose, because to the other person it will still actually look like you’re making eye contact, whereas you’ll actually be looking at the center of the eyes, at the roof or the top of their nose. The important thing is, whichever eye you decide to look at, you don’t keep flicking from eye to eye. Or if you’re looking at the top of the nose, the bridge of the nose, you begin to look into it, so you look almost as though you can see into the brain and always the back of the head. You begin to move your focus farther and farther back until you’re looking roughly about a foot or two behind the person. Remember that this is a gradual process. You don’t just switch from looking at their eyes all the way through to looking three or four feet behind them. You begin to process by moving an inch or so at the time until your gaze has gone all the way through. Step 3: Go First Once you can do that you’re going to add the idea of going first. This idea of maintaining a friendly vibe, this idea of instant rapport, and maybe even putting yourself into this hypnotist’s trance in order to be able to change your own physiological state. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 310 Remember, as you’re doing all these three phases, at the moment you’re not actually adding any hypnotic content in terms of what you’re saying. So the conversations will be absolutely normal conversations. The only difference is in your physical characteristics and your tonal qualities. Step 4: The Full Blown Hypnotic Gaze Induction Once you can do all these things then you can experiment with the hypnotic gaze induction itself. Track 15 Ex.4 Exercise 4 The next exercise is actually a very subtle way of introducing hypnotic content or hypnotic theme into conversation. Tell the person that you’re working with that you read an article about hypnosis, and then go ahead and describe all the interesting things that the article said that trance was like. Now as you’re doing this, of course, you have the ideal opportunity to use hypnotic content and to turn them to hypnotic induction. As a bit of contrast I would recommend that you try this exercise in two ways. The first way to do it is to try it just as a normal description about an article about hypnosis that you’ve read actually said about hypnosis and what trance was like. If you want to have some information on that, just go and buy a good book on hypnosis and that will give you plenty of material. The second way to do this exercise is to do exactly the same thing, only this time you begin to introduce the various elements of hypnotic gaze induction. In other words, you go first, you fix your gaze, you begin to change your voice tonality, and of course all the hypnotic content will already be created for you by the very article or book that you are describing. Track 16 Ex.5 Exercise 5 The next exercise is actually very similar to the last one. The main difference is this time, instead of describing a book or an article, you will tell someone you have been to a stage hypnosis show or to a hypnotherapist with your friend John or Jane. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 311 One way to put a frame around it might be to say you went along for moral support as the other person wanted to stop smoking or something like that. Now the important thing is, this gives you the important opportunity to now describe what your friend John or your friend Jane experienced under hypnosis, the trance process itself, which becomes an ideal vehicle or platform for you to do the hypnotic gaze induction. Track 17 End of CD8 Okay, so we have reached the end of this CD 8, entitled “Conversational Inductions, Dealing Directly with the Unconscious Mind.” Remember you can jump straight away now to the Bonus CD entitled “Advanced Secrets to Bypass Resistance” in order to get even more insights and greater depth and greater experience with conversational inductions. After that, you can move straight on to CD 9, which is entitled, "How to Destroy Resistance with Stories, Part Two." On CD 9, you will learn all kinds of powerful ways to put stories together to really create multiple levels of inductions and do all kinds of crazy things. In many respects, the art of hypnotic storytelling is the pinnacle of the art of conversational hypnosis. We are going to show you how to take the exercises you learned on CD 7, as well as the exercises you learned here and on the bonus CD, and we are going to combine them into one of the most powerful paradigms for creating conversational hypnosis that currently exists. I am going to show you how to use stories in order to install emotional roller coasters, have metaphorical solutions to problems, to format people's unconscious minds, and even to install a process inside them so that they will learn to behave or deal with certain situations in the future. We are going to show you how to use them as vehicles for embedded suggestions, and put this all together in such a rich package that people will be mesmerized by your stories, enchanted by them, while at the same time being influenced by them in a very beneficial kind of way. Now, you have plenty of exercises to master the information that we have presented to you here on this CD. So I am going to leave you to your practice and I look forward to meeting you again on the next CD. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 312 Until then, enjoy learning Conversational Hypnosis. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 313 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS BONUS CD2 Advanced Secrets to Bypass Resistance Track 1 Welcome Welcome to this Bonus CD entitled “Advanced Secrets to Bypass Resistance.” On this CD, we are going to continue on from the point we left off at on CD 8 entitled “Conversational Inductions: Dealing Directly with the Unconscious Mind.” Now on CD 8, you learned the power of the hypnotic gaze induction and learned how to do that both as an overt and a more covert, more indirect kind of induction. On this CD, we’re going to take that core principle, the hypnotic gaze induction and I'm going to show you additional refinements you can add on to it, additional principles that you can weave into it to make it increasingly more conversational and increasingly more powerful. All of the inductions that we are going to cover on this CD can be used by themselves or can be combined together to create this very powerful organic whole that is truly greater than the sum of its parts. On this CD we’ll be covering, first of all, the piggyback induction, taking one of the principles that you learned on CD 4 and expanding it into a whole conversational hypnosis induction. Then we’ll move on from refining the piggyback induction into the trance-voice induction which again, we’ll look at some of the myths surrounding hypnosis and how the kernel of truth behind those myths can be turned into very, very powerful hypnotic interaction. Finally, we’ll look at how to weave some sensory description and some basic stories which you have been practicing already on CD 7 into your conversational inductions to make them even more rich and more persuasive. Now please remember, just like in CD 8, this CD contains a whole bunch of hypnotic language and hypnotic interaction. We’ll be tipping in and out of hypnotic interactions throughout the conversational inductions that we are going to be discussing. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 314 So if you're driving a car or operating any kind of machinery, just stop whatever you are doing before you go on and listen to the rest of this CD. Then as soon as you are ready, just sit back, relax, and enjoy learning conversational hypnosis. Track 2 Introducing the piggy back induction The first induction that I would like to turn our attention to is the one called the piggyback induction. Now, the piggyback induction works, as you might imagine, off the principle that you learned on CD 4 called the piggyback principle. If you remember, the piggyback principle is all about attaching a suggestion or an idea to other ideas that have already been accepted. The effect of attaching a suggestion to something that has already been accepted is that it kind of piggybacks. It rides along on the trail of a suggestion that’s actually going to be taken on board already. We’re going to use this principle now to induce a trance. Remember, to induce a trance, • • • • you are going to fixate someone’s attention, you’re going to bypass the critical thinking, you're going to activate their unconscious process in some way, and finally you're going to lead that unconscious process to a particular outcome. Piggyback suggestions are perfect in order to achieve this. Track 3 The mechanics of the piggy back induction So how do you use piggyback suggestions in order to induce a trance conversationally? Well, the answer, believe it or not, lies in direct experience. In other words, something you can hear, feel, or see. You can also use taste and smell to a certain extent but they are less used senses. So let’s stick to the three main categories, feeling, hearing, and seeing. Now, if you just think for a moment and notice the feeling inside your foot right now, you're left foot in particular. You weren’t aware of the feelings in that left foot until I mentioned it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 315 But what about your neck? While you are thinking about your left foot were you thinking about your neck? You certainly are now if you weren’t before. Thinking about your chest is different to thinking about your back. The sensation in your chest is different to the sensation in your back. Let’s just pause for a moment and find out what just happened there. Did you notice that as I said the word “notice” that I brought your awareness to different parts of your body – your foot, your neck, your chest, your back? But also, more importantly, I redirected your awareness to something that was already there. Any word like notice, see, hear, feel, et cetera, will take direction and actually redirect people’s attention towards something that’s already there but not necessarily within consciousness. Now this does two things. The first thing that it does, it brings something that was unconscious into conscious awareness. So where we have this slippery slope beginning of an unconscious process getting involved or engaged in what you are doing. The second thing that it does is you're taking control of someone’s attention. Remember the first stage of the four-stage protocol is fixate attention, absorb someone’s attention. Provided that they’re listening to you, it’s very difficult to ignore you when you say, “Notice the sensation in your foot. Is the sensation different in your left foot from the right foot?” – because it requires a comparison and a comparison requires attention. So very neatly, you wrap up someone’s attention and you’ve already begun to sensitize them to some kind of unconscious process. Now there is something else that is going on there which is also very important. This is where the piggyback principle really kicks in: You cannot argue with your own experience. If I tell you that you have some kind of sensation in your left foot, the fact is, you will have some kind of sensation. You may feel blank. You may feel the sensation of your shoe pressing against the skin. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 316 You may feel the pressure of the ground if you are standing on them but there will be some kind of sensation in your foot. If there is no sensation that technically is called anaesthesia which means you already have hypnotic phenomena going on there. So no matter what happens, I'm already beginning to build those yesses that I need in order for me to have that “yes” ladder which will lead into piggybacking suggestions later on. Now the way is clear for me to use piggyback suggestions. What piggyback suggestions should I use? Anything that will lead you deeper into a trance. By the way, notice how by using the piggyback principle I've already jumped straight to stage two of the four-stage protocol. I've bypassed any critical factor, any resistance, because I'm attaching my suggestions to something that you have already automatically cleared. You cannot deny the sensation in your foot. It’s been cleared and so anything that I attach to it is more likely to go through. Again, let me emphasize that I say it is more likely to go through. There are no 100% givens. There are no 100% in anything that you do but if you use a piggyback principle wisely, you’ll make it increasingly difficult for someone to say no because the more that they say yes, the more the mind opens that channel. The more energy it requires to jump out of the channel and say no to you and refuse something. So that the longer they are stuck in that yes loop, the more likely they will carry on saying yes just because it’s easier than to say no. When that happens, their unconscious will tend to make your suggestions actually come true. The secret key to this induction is to make sure that the steps that you suggest, that you piggyback suggest at the end of your normal yes sets, of those things are just the right amount that they are less energy to put into action than saying no to you. Also, notice that the Sixty Second Hypnotist, the induction that we began CD 8 with, is actually a crude form of the piggyback induction already. “Close your eyes and go into a trance.” Closing your eyes is compliance. It is a yes. “Every time you hear me say the word deeper, you will go deeper and deeper.” Again, the word deeper is something that is going to happen because I have control of that, because I'm going to be speaking it. That’s something that you cannot deny as part of the experience. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 317 The second part of it, whether or not you respond by going deeper, is something which, depending on how strong my yes set has become, will piggyback off the original suggestion and actually become actualized inside of your experience. So that’s enough about the principles about the piggyback induction. Let’s look at how it actually works in practice. Track 4 The piggy back induction laid out step by step Okay, so here’s what you do to use the piggyback induction. Piggy Back Induction Step 1: Make True Statements On a very simple level, you are going to start off by making three, four, maybe five physically verifiable statements about things inside their sensory experience. Something that they can see, something that they can hear, and something that they can feel. Piggy Back Induction Step 2: Add A Suggestion At the end of those three, four, or maybe five statements, you’ll just use a simple conjunction like the word “and” or “while” or “because” or “that means” and you’ll attach the suggestions like the word relax. Okay? At this point, your use of the hypnotic language cards that you learned all the way back on CD 3 will be of great importance to you. You can use it very, very well to help augment your piggyback inductions. So let’s say that you make a few statements. For example, “you can hear the sound of my voice”. Well, that’s true. “You can feel the temperature in your left hand. And maybe your left hand feels a little different than your right hand.” Now, that’s true as well because your left and your right hand are different hands. They must feel slightly different in some way. At the end of all these, you can add a simple statement “and you can relax”. So that whole chain would sound something like this. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 318 You can hear the sound of my voice. You can feel the temperature in one of your hands. One of your hands, your left hand and your right hand, will feel a little different to each other which means you can begin to relax. Already you should be familiar with a lot of the principles that we use there in terms of the language and construction. Now we’re just using that in a more sophisticated way as a piggyback induction. We’ve already begun the process of relaxation. Piggy Back Induction Step 3: Repeat Steps 1 & 2 Then of course, you cycle right back again to making three or four statements that are externally verifiably true. “You can look around the room that you're in and you can feel the pressure of the surface that you are sitting or standing on. You can also notice the temperature in the room while relaxation continues to deepen just a little bit more.” Again, notice how all of these statements are verifiably true and we’re taking that step of relaxation just one slight step ahead of where we left off last time. Now, you can keep listing these things, adding one piece at a time using your hypnotic language from CD 3 and that would already create the induction. The more you have someone responding to you, the more they go into a trance, the fewer yes set instructions you will need and the more the actually piggyback suggestions will just take all by themselves. Piggy Back Induction Step 4: Increase The Number Of Piggy Back Suggestions So the induction continues. You make increasingly less true statements, verifiable statements and you make increasingly more piggyback suggestions which stand alone. Eventually, you’ll make virtually only stand-alone suggestions. We’ll have an example of that coming right up in a moment. Before we get into the example, there’s one more distinction that I want to point out for you. Direct v Indirect Uses Of The Piggy Back Induction There is a distinction between making this induction very direct or very indirect. If you’ll do this very directly, you’ll be using words like hypnosis and trance very liberally as part of the induction. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 319 That’s how I’ll start the next segment to make it a bit more obvious for you. However, you can also make it more indirect by using trance themes, which you’ve already explored in the past, to locate people into a trance experience without having to use the word hypnosis or trance itself. So words like relax, focus, feel comfort, go inside, imagine, all of these words and all of the other ones that you have come up with on your own will imply a trance state or a trance-like state, thereby allowing you to indirectly re-create a hypnotic state without having to directly state that’s what’s going on. So now, you can use this induction directly and indirectly. On the next track, you will have an example of the piggyback induction in action. Then we will look at some more ways of refining that induction before we move on. Track 5 Demonstration of the piggy back induction As we begin this induction, you may as well as begin with your eyes open. Just sit back or lie down comfortably while you listen to this CD and feel the temperature in the air to make sure it’s comfortable and you can begin to relax. Now, you can of course hear the sound of my voice. While you are listening to my voice, you can think your own thoughts and notice whatever position that you happen to be sitting or lying down in while you continue to go into little more relaxation. Now, notice your breathing. Your breathing going in and out. As your chest lifts and falls. Or perhaps, you feel the temperature in your nostrils changing with each breath in and out while you close your eyes so you can concentrate on the feelings of relaxation even more fully. Now, as you close your eyes, with your eyes closed you can feel the surface of your skin around the eyes. You can feel the touch of your clothing against your body as you go even more comfortably relaxed. You can hear all the little sounds around you. The sounds in the back of this CD. The sounds in the room. The world outside. You can feel all the little sensations. In each ear, a comfortable feeling there. A sense of warmth in yet another part as you feel that relaxation continuing to grow and bring the real sense of comfort inside. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 320 As you continue to drift through all these senses noticing whatever you notice, feeling your muscles relaxing, you can continue the process of feeling even more comfortable. The more you allow that comfort to build inside, the more peaceful you’ll notice going into a trance will be. You really don’t need to think any particular thoughts in order for you to enjoy the comfort of ever deepening relaxation. All you need to do is place your awareness on the most comfortable part of your body and watch as it continues to deepen getting more and more comfortable. More and more relaxed. Which of your arms is heavier? The right or the left? You really don’t need to realize which arm is heavier than the other in order for you to feel that relaxation spreading from your arms into your chest and feeling yourself drifting down even more. Now, as you drift in that comfortable place allowing your awareness to settle in the one sensation or another sensation, so your mind, your unconscious mind begins to learn more and more about who you are. Because you and your personality are unique. As unique as your own fingerprints. There can never be another person quite like you. No one can be like you any more than you can. So as you get a sense of that uniqueness now, you may find yourself noticing more and more things are going on outside yourself. Perhaps you’ll find yourself, you know, beginning to get a sense of a little more energy inside. As you hear the sounds outside of the room, maybe feeling the temperature of the air around you, noticing the sensation of your skin as your hands and muscles want to begin to stretch a little bit more. Eventually you’ll find your eyes fluttering open as you come back to the here and now feeling refreshed, relaxed, and alert. Simply fantastic. As you are ready to learn even more conversational hypnosis, make sure your eyes are open, you stand up, have a little stretch, and just feel good inside for having learned that much more about the piggyback induction. Track 6 How to refine the piggy back induction © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 321 Welcome back. That was the example of the piggyback induction. Hopefully, you will have noticed that I began the induction reasonably indirect and became a bit more direct as time went by. I wanted you to see how you can do both kinds of inductions here. Refinement 1: Talk About Indirect Hypnosis Themes Remember, a very simple way of keeping things more indirect is to talk about things like comfort and relaxation. A bit more direct would be to talk about hypnosis and trance. It really doesn’t matter which approach that you take as long as it fits the situation that you are in. You can always blend the approaches going from one to the other. Refinement 2: My Friend John Technique Another way to make this more indirect is to use some of the lessons that you’ve already learned. Of course, you will be using this with the hypnotic gaze induction and in that, you can also use the “my friend John” or the “my friend Jane” technique in order to put another indirect spin. Because I have to describe all of these experiences as though they have happened to someone else. For example, “as John was relaxing in the chair, breathing in and breathing out.” I tie in those words “breathing in” and “breathing out” to the same time as the person opposite of me is breathing in and breathing out. It becomes very clear to the unconscious mind who I'm talking about. It really isn't to John. Refinement 3: Start External And Move To Internal Awareness Another way to make this more indirect and to really refine the piggyback induction is to find out how you orient people’s attention. One simple way to do this is to begin by making very external statements. For example, “You can hear the sounds of the traffic outside. Your can feel the temperature of the room that you're in. You can see the windows and the doors of the room that you happen to be sitting in.” These are all externally verifiable things. Then, when you start making suggestions, you turn more internal and you can feel some comfort building inside. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 322 Now, not only do we have a distinction between things that you can verify in your experience and things that I'm suggesting, you also have a distinction between external and internal. As my induction goes by, I will make increasingly internally organized statements. So you are orienting your attention more and more inside yourself. Now when you are focused inside yourself, you’ll also be going into a trance. It’s one of the side effects. Refinement 4: Read Minds! Finally, there’s one more way that you can refine the piggyback induction. That is to change the kind of true statements that you are using. Up until now you have been using very sensory-rich statements. In other words, things that you can hear, things that you can feel, things that you can see. To a certain extent, those can become very obvious if you overuse them too much. One way to get around that problem is to use what is called a mind read. You can pretend that you can go inside someone’s mind and actually use things that are happening inside their experience but in a more intellectual level. You can use those as piggyback statements as well. Mind Read 1: Personal Experiences Here are some examples of the kind of experiences that I mean that you can mind read. For example, Everyone has had past experiences. You have a history of your own. You’ve gone to school. You’ve grown up. You’ve met people along the way and each of those people has been either kind to you or unkind to you. Some of them have been somewhere in between. Notice, every single of those statements has been true. I'm using your past experiences. Experiences that everyone has had to go through in order for you to have still say yes. There is still a yes set. I'm using cultural experiences. In the Western world, everyone has gone to school pretty much. If you go to some other places, not everyone will have had the same experiences. So you are using a mind read because you're having a very accurate guess what is likely to have happened in that person’s life. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 323 Mind Read 2: Beliefs & Expectations Another form of mind reading, apart from personal experiences, is to use their beliefs and expectations. For example, we live in a free society. We all have the right to vote and we all have the right to live life in a particular way. Again, this is something which is a belief and an expectation for a Western audience. If you go to China or any kind of dictatorship, those expectations will begin to change. Beliefs can be about religious things, political views, about anything that you happen to know about the other person. Beliefs and expectations will require you to know a little bit about that person but it is not that steep of a requirement. Other things that you can use are anything that they told you. If they told you about a fishing trip, you can tell them, “So you were going fishing and while you were fishing you have your rod and you try to cast that rod only to realize that you brought the wrong bait.” Mind Read 3: Truisms & Generalisations Yet another form of mind read is to use truisms. Truisms are sayings like “a stitch in time saves nine” and “better late than never”. These are statements, which again in our culture, everyone tends to accept as true. They’re little wisdoms that everyone will take as true. Mind Read 4: Cultural Assumptions A final form of mind read is cultural assumptions. Cultural assumptions are very similar to beliefs and expectations. The things that you will assume to be true given your culture. For example, if you go to Bali or Thailand, people will quite happily assume that ghosts and spirits exist. It will not be uncommon, for example, for someone to claim on an accident report that they were driving along on a motorbike when they were blinded by a spirit and didn't see the train coming as a result. These are cultural reference points that everyone will accept. In the west, a lot of cultural assumptions are based around science, political expectations, around personal freedoms and things of this nature. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 324 Now that you have all of these different mind reads, go away and think about how many different ways that people can actually have an internal experience. What do they actually assume about the world? Then carefully start dotting all of these experiences, these mind reads, and throw them into your conversations to start building very natural yes sets. So you have, to remind you, • • • sensory descriptions, you can lead from to external to internal experiences, and you can use mind reads as well as all the other things that you have learned already in order to enrich your piggyback inductions. Track 7 Introducing the trance voice induction The next induction that I want to share with you is called the trance-voice induction. This is a very powerful and a very interesting induction. Again, it lies in the root of another hypnotic myth. There is a myth in hypnosis that a certain tone of voice puts people into trance. People used to think that you had to talk in a monotone and basically bore the pants off of people. At other times, people thought that there was some kind of magic power in the voice so that when you hit a certain quality of voice, a kind of command tonality that people could not resist, they could not help but go into a trance. The fact of it is that these kinds of things are not true and they’re kind of true at the same time. What happens in a trance-voice induction is that you begin to condition people to respond to your voice or particular tone of voice with the hypnosis response. It is a little bit like Pavlov’s dog. If you remember Pavlov, he was the man that rang a bell, gave dog some food, rang a bell, gave dog some food, rang a bell, gave dog some food. Over time, the dog associated the bell with food at such a deep level that just ringing a bell would make the dog salivate. The hypnotic trance-voice induction does the same thing for hypnosis. So over a period of time, you create a hypnotic voice that just hearing those tonalities, people go into a trance. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 325 But remember, there is no mystical quality to this. This is something that you have to condition people to do so that a new person that comes into your life will not just drop into a trance because you are using your trance-voice on them. You have to still create the experiences for them to condition them, too. As you learn the hypnotic trance-voice induction, another thing that you need to pay attention to is the fact that if people are responding to a tone of voice hypnotically without you having to say anything else, then it makes sense for you to have a different tone of voice from a normal conversational one. Because otherwise, what's going to happen is people are going to drop into a trance whenever you talk to them whether you want it to happen or net. That might sound a bit amusing right now, but wait until you are inside a car talking to a friend and you start sending them off to sleep. That’s a very bad idea!! There is a time when hypnosis is appropriate and good and useful and there is a time when it is not. So in order to be able to separate those times, it is very important that when you begin any kind of hypnotic process with people, you change the qualities of your voice so that your induction gets attached to different voice tones so that when you use those voice tones only will you actually induce a trance. Believe it or not, we’ve actually set the foundation for this throughout the course of these CDs. Remember we talked about talking more slowly, talking more comfortably and soothingly, using different rhythms and pauses. You have already heard me using my own trance tonalities. For example, when I begin to change my voice and speak in a different way. Notice how even now, after just a few conditioning cycles, you begin to respond. That is really the power of hypnotic voice induction. Your voice will become a very powerful tool to put people into trance instantly. It is like watching a stage hypnotic say to his audience, “Sleep”. And they sleep instantly. It’s still a conditioning cycle that people go through. Everything that you’ve learned up to this point still counts. In other words, you’ll still be using your language. You’ll still be using your hypnotic gaze. You’ll still be using piggyback inductions and if you want to make it even more indirect, you can still use little devices like the “my friend John” or “my friend Jane” technique. When it comes to inducing the hypnotic voice induction, there’s actually a very specific induction that I'm thinking of which is very powerful and very easy to do © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 326 which will actually create this dichotomy between thinking consciously and thinking unconsciously. I'm going to describe it to you briefly now and in the next track, run you through the whole process. In essence, what you are going to do is talk about conscious mind activities with one voice and unconscious activities with another voice. Now, the distinction between the two voices can be very subtle or it can be much greater. If you have a great distinction, well, you become a little bit more obvious. If you have more subtle distinctions, a little less obvious. For example, you may have over time; you may build up different voices, each one creating a different type of trance experience. You may have a voice more for learning experiences. One which is softer but still puts people into a kind of learning trance, a kind of storytelling trance, where they still want to listen to you. You may have a deeper, more hypnotic voice, which is for more profound and obvious trances. You may also have your normal, everyday, speaking voice in which people don’t drop into a trance. They just listen to you in a more normal sort of way. Each of those voices will be conditioned by talking about the very kind of experiences that people have while in those conditions. You want people to learn and you have a certain learning voice. Then the best thing to do is to talk to them about all the times they’ve learned in the past and learned easily. Because as they reactivate those experiences inside themselves, they begin to learn more easily inside themselves. They’ll attach that to the tone of voice you have so that every time you speak in that voice, they’ll learn more easily. This is really the secret behind the hypnotic voice induction. It is to activate inside the person the neurological condition, the state that you want them to be in, what you want them to respond with when you have that particular voice. In this case, its trance. Then, use that voice as well. On the next track, you will actually have an example of how this works. Track 8 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 327 How to use the trance voice induction So here is how to use the trance-voice induction. Trance Voice Induction Step 1: Compare The Conscious & Unconscious Minds In essence, read a kind of shopping list out to someone. The shopping list will be a comparison between the conscious mind concept and unconscious mind concepts. Trance Voice Induction Step 2: Use A Conscious Voice & An Unconscious Voice Now of course while you are describing conscious mind activities, you will be using the conscious mind voice. In other words, your normal, every day speaking voice. You will be talking a little bit faster and you will probably be talking about the conscious mind a little bit more at first because that’s the predominating activity going on inside them at the moment in time. Trance Voice Induction Step 3: Go Between The Conscious & Unconscious Minds Then of course, you will be weaving in from time to time an unconscious mind activity. Of course, while you are talking about the unconscious mind, you’ll be using your unconscious mind voice which will probably be slower, lower, smoother, more deep, and resonant. While you will be talking about the unconscious mind a little less at first, you begin to talk increasingly about it until all of your communication is purely unconscious. Trance Voice Induction Step 4: Reverse The Process To End The Trance Now if you want to re-orient people, the process is really quite simple. You do it indirectly by just reversing the process. You change the qualities of your voice and talk more about external things. If you want to do it very directly of course, you can just count them up like a normal hypnotic induction and it’s actually very straightforward. It really depends upon what you are wanting to achieve. Here are some of the examples of conscious versus unconscious mind functions. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 328 Remember, this is going to be the bread and butter of the trance-voice induction because while you talk about conscious activities, use your conscious voice. Whenever you talk about unconscious activities, use your hypnotic voice. So you can talk about people who are awake and the things that happen when people who are normally awake versus when people are dreaming. Because when you are sleeping, dreamtime is very different. So while you are awake, things are very logical. There’s a natural progression of things. There’s a sequence which begins in time and moves through time very systematically. But, in dreamtime that changes. You dream about different things. So notice again, waking versus dreaming is one of these dichotomies. Deliberate action versus automatic action is another one. Think about it. Whenever you do something deliberate, you choose it. It’s purposeful. It’s a conscious activity. Whenever something happens automatically by definition, your unconscious mind has taken care of it. It’s doing things like that. You can take this a step further by talking about what you control consciously. For example, you can move your limbs. You can breathe consciously. But then, your unconscious mind takes care of the other things like making your heart beat, breathing while you are not paying attention, regulating your blood temperature which has to be regulated at a very, very precise degree. So your unconscious mind is doing all of these things outside of your conscious awareness. Your conscious mind tends to be very logical, very methodical, very rational. Your unconscious mind tends to be more intuitive. It works by association. It uses more lateral thinking. Your conscious mind likes to plan things. Your unconscious mind tends to be more spontaneous. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 329 Your conscious mind tends to be very separate about things. It likes to analyze things and separate them out into its constituent parts. The unconscious mind tends to be holistic. It looks at the bigger picture and likes to put parts together to form that bigger picture. Your conscious mind can handle seven plus or minus two bits of information. What that means is that if I give you say, five to nine random objects to remember, or random numbers to remember, you can just about hold that inside your memory. When it gets to about nine or ten, it starts being very difficult. Most people can't hold eleven or twelve different objects inside their mind without training. The unconscious mind, in the mean time, can handle 2.3 million to 2.3 billion pieces of information all at the same time. So this is quite a significant change. Now notice, a list gives you so much fodder for which you can talk to people about. You can talk to people about waking and dreaming and spend hours on just that topic alone. You can just list the functions if a conscious mind is awake, the unconscious mind is responsible for dreaming, et cetera. And still you can use that for the fodder for the trance-voice induction. The important thing is that you have those differences very clear because whenever you talk about an unconscious activity, the unconscious mind will be listening more fully and responding with that. On the next track, I'm going to give you an example of the trance-voice induction in action. Again, I want to make it reasonably obvious so that you can really spot the differences between the voices and when I'm switching from one to the other. The more you practice this, the more versatile it becomes for you. The more easily you can make this indirect by making the transitions more fluid and less obvious. Track 9 Demonstration of the trance voice induction So you’ve learned a little about hypnosis already and the different functions that the mind has involved in it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 330 Now, you are probably overloading a little bit and that’s because your conscious mind hasn’t been designed to gather all these facts and remember them. Believe it or not, the conscious mind can only handle seven plus or minus two bits of information at a time. So that means that if you have more than say nine things to remember at one time, the conscious mind overloads and your short-term memory can't handle that… But your unconscious mind on the other hand remembers everything that you’ve ever seen, heard, felt, or done. Your unconscious mind is a vast storehouse of information so that just thinking about an old friend, an old address, a telephone number, that information just comes to your mind. Consciously, you don’t really understand how that happens because you don’t need to know what goes on inside the mind in order for you to be able to use it. You see, the conscious mind is there to make decisions. To decide that “this is what I want to do in life”. The unconscious mind then takes that decision and runs with it, makes it happen. I mean, how many times have you noticed that you wanted something but forgot about it? Then somehow, as time changed, you changed with it and that thing became more and more real. Who was doing all the things along the way? Making all those choices while you weren’t paying attention? Your unconscious mind is always there for you. So while you are thinking in a very logical sort of way, when you're thinking consciously, you know, you decide first step is to do this. Second step is to do that. Third step is to do this. It’s funny how life never quite has a way of working out quite as logically as you wanted it to. So that by you finally get to the end of a project, have you ever noticed how many little indirect routes you take along the way? That’s because your unconscious mind knows that there are many different things that you have to take into account in order to achieve a certain process. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 331 Sometimes you have to take a detour in the short-term in order for something to work out in the long-term. Your unconscious mind understands this bigger picture because it thinks in a more holistic, systemic kind of way. It’s interesting to realize that the conscious mind sits there and thinks that it’s awake and it’s doing all these things actively while in the background the unconscious mind works ceaselessly. You're so creative at the unconscious level because your unconscious mind never ceases to create and learn and discover new things. At night when you sleep, you have dreams. Every dream that you have is a brand new dream. You never thought of it before. Think about it. How many people sit there and actually consciously choose what they dream about? Sit there and design the plot, the characters, all the weird things that are going to happen to them. It doesn’t happen in the normal waking state, does it? Your dreams just happen by themselves. They’re automatic just as the content is automatic. You can be relaxed and sleep peacefully at night and know, really know that your unconscious mind keeps you safely protected so that as you dream through the night you are resolving conflicts from the day. You are learning new things. You are making plans, visions of the future, dreaming dreams that in the daytime can become more real. Isn't it good to know that you have an unconscious mind that has stored all your experiences, all your wisdom, all your understandings that you can rely on so that as the days and the weeks and the months go by, you grow as a person and all the things that you wanted to achieve just become naturally a part of the things that you have in life. It is also good to realize that you have a conscious mind because a conscious mind is there so you can actually appreciate things. I mean, think about it. If you are completely unconscious all of your life then you really wouldn't be able to smell the roses. There would be no one there to appreciate the beauty of life. No one would be there to actually the fact that you achieved the goals that your unconscious mind achieved. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 332 So while it is all well and good to have an unconscious mind, it’s important to realize your conscious mind is there to choose the direction that you go in life. It has to be aware enough that when you spot an opportunity, you actually take advantage of it. That’s the beauty of the unconscious mind. The conscious mind is there to actually see things happening and then decide that, “This is what we are going to do with things,” so that the unconscious mind can get on with doing them when you choose and decide to do that. Now think about that, you can feel tremendously excited, refreshed, and I don’t know, excited about the future because your conscious mind has all these different abilities, these potential things lying in front of it. All you have to do is just reach out and grab it and then expect that your unconscious mind will deliver. Because if you expect that, wonderful things will happen to you. Track 10 Discussion of trance voice induction So just briefly notice how in that previous induction, even though it’s just a few minutes long, five or six minutes in length, you already see the whole structure of the trance-voice induction being laid out. Now imagine doing that over the course of an evening. A conversation can actually go through these lulls, these highs and these lows in a very natural sort of way so that you can actually begin to weave in the trance-voice inductions, the piggyback induction, the hypnotic gaze induction. All these things become part of a greater and richer whole the more that you do this. It’s very important that you realize that the more you put these different skills together, the more powerful they become. Think of it as a pencil. You can snap one pencil. If you have two pencils at the same time, it’s a little difficult to snap them. By the time you have four, five, six pencils and hold them all at the same time, it’s almost impossible to break them because their combined strength is so strong. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 333 That’s how I want you to think about these inductions. The more you put them together, the more powerful and irresistible they become. Track 11 Introducing sensory rich descriptions & stories The final induction that I want to talk about makes use of sensory descriptions and stories. Now, to a certain extent you’ve already dealt with this induction on CD 5 when you learned all about how to ask people deep and meaningful questions about their experiences which began to actualize the hypnotic process inside of them. Remember that every time that someone thinks about something, has the sensory experience inside of themselves, it actually recreates the experience that they’ve had it in the past in that present moment. So asking people about previous hypnotic experience whether it’s a formal hypnotic experience with a hypnotist or an informal hypnotic experience like reading or watching a film, you will tend to recreate that experience in the present moment because of the nature of how the mind works. So you are going to use this as an induction now. The way that you can do this is actually very simple. On the simplest level, you just simply describe a scene. You can describe a scene like relaxing on a holiday, walking through a wood, absorbed in a particular sport, reading a book, going to a meditation retreat, going to see a hypnotist in fact, driving a car – there’s always a good driving trance involved – waiting in line, and making time distort. Getting a massage and just sort of drifting off into your own world while you are doing that. Listening to poetry or music. Notice how the range of experiences that can be hypnotic are almost limitless. Now the way stories come into this is because stories can be a vehicle for actually allowing your sensory descriptions to come out. In other words, if you are sharing a story of going for a massage and finding yourself falling asleep, well, people can't argue with that because it’s your story and it’s your experience. But while you are doing that, you can lace beautiful sensory rich descriptions as suggestions that the other person have the same experience. Poets and authors and musicians, that’s their bread and butter. It’s to create another experience inside of you by the descriptions that they make. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 334 As a hypnotist, there’s no difference. It’s just that you’ll look at the four-stage hypnotic protocol to make sure that the things you are describing are particularly within those categories. So of course, anything that you describe where people’s attention is focused, fixated, absorbed completely will already begin the process of trance. Anything that you describe where normal critical thinking is taken offline, where you begin to bypass the critical factor. Whenever you talk about natural unconscious responses, whether they are automatic habits like driving a car late at night or things that happen outside of your awareness like your heart beating. All these things will again tend to activate unconscious responses. At this stage, let me repeat something that I've said to you in the past. That is, everything that you have learned to this point still counts. On a simple level, that means that the hypnotic gaze and pure use of language, the piggyback induction, the trance-voice induction, all these things can be used as a by-product or as an addition to the sensory rich descriptions and the stories that you tell. These all back each other up and while it’s useful to practice one at a time to get good at it, when you actually use conversational hypnosis in action, what's going to happen is all these distinctions will go out the window and you will just be speaking. As you are speaking little bits of each of these different inductions or each of these different principles will actually be coming out of your mouth and be actualized in the way that you interact. Before I give you a brief example of a sensory rich description in a story in action, there are three essential ways in which you can use this particular induction. Sensory Description Technique 1: Directly Describe An Experience The first thing that you can do is to create a direct experience. Literally just describe it. Describe the sensations of going into a trance, be that an informal trance like reading a book or driving a car, or a formal trance with a hypnotic induction involved. Sensory Description Technique 2: Share Your Own Experience The second way that you can do this is to share your own personal experience. As I said before, if you talk about a time when you went to have a massage done and then fell asleep in the process of doing that, you are talking about your own personal experience. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 335 In that telling, it becomes more real for the other person. You can also do it in a form of sharing your own personal likes and dislikes. For example, when you say to someone, You know what I love? It’s those times when it’s just like looking out of the window and it time between evening and morning and everyone is still asleep. You can look out at the world and everything is just kind of quiet. Because it’s really early in the morning your brain hasn’t really kicked in yet. It’s kind of quiet inside. All the problems of the day have just disappeared. They’re just not there at the moment. You have that moment of perfect peace and quiet. So notice how very naturally I slipped into a sensory rich description by telling you about something that I liked. A kind of universal experience that other people will tend to share in. This is kind of more of the poetic approach to hypnosis. Just because it’s hypnosis by the way doesn’t mean that you can't have poetic license to do all kinds of things with experiences that you describe to people. Track 12 Demonstration of the sensory rich description induction So, I just had the most amazing weekend. I went to Cowes Week, which is a kind of boating, yachting festival on the Isle of Wight just off the coast of England. In the summertime, there are a couple of weeks in which they have this big celebration where all the yacht people from around the world come and play. In particular, a lot of businesses go there to entertain clients and have fun. So, you kind of sail during the day and in the evening, you know, you can go out, you can have drinks, meals, and it’s just a lot of fun and a very pleasant experience. It was a wonderful day for me because the whole week, we had really bad weather. You know like when you’ve just been kind of wound up by just how nothing seems to be going right? It’s the middle of summer and it’s raining. Everyone is getting a bit annoyed. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 336 I'm particularly annoyed because friends of mine were taking me sailing during Cowes Week and I thought, “What if it stays this way?” Anyway, the sunshine turns up and it’s a beautiful day. I wake up at maybe 6:00 in the morning to get me time to like drive down to the harbour and it is just the most beautiful, glorious day that you can imagine. The sun is shining and it’s warm. I instantly know that it’s going to be one of those days. Everything just seems to go right. I'm driving down the road and I'm already getting into that automatic pattern where my hands just know what they’re doing. I know the way that I need to go because I don’t even have to think about it. All I can do is allow my attention to drift across the road to the other car that happens to be there and to just enjoy the sunshine, which I haven't seen for such a long, long time. While I'm driving comfortably, peacefully, with all my attention focused on the road, the direction that I'm heading in, I'm beginning to feel that this is just going to be one of those wonderful experiences that I'm going to end up sharing with all of my friends. Sure enough, when I get to the harbour, there is our yacht and my friends. It is still a sunny day and we get into the yacht and the sail is unfurled and we glide off over towards the sunshine. I can't begin to describe just how wonderful it feels to hear the soothing sound the water lapping against the hull of the boat. The sound of a gentle breeze against taut canvas pushing the boat along. Of course, from time to time, the wind just disappeared and everything went completely calm. The ocean was flat, like a mirror; calm unbroken surface of the water. The people in the boat just began to relax and to enjoy the sunshine. Some of them even closed their eyes to feel the warmth of the sun against their skin. I said to myself, “It’s so good to enjoy that sunshine against your skin. Can you feel the coolness of that breeze? Not too cold.” I felt myself continuing to relax more and more fully. Now, as you enjoy that experience and really learn about conversational hypnosis you can discover there are so many things © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 337 that you can do naturally when you allow your unconscious mind to do all the work for a change. You can sit there and enjoy this experience while your unconscious mind enjoys learning. Because much like sailing, learning new things can be a greatly enjoyable task. Just because it is effort doesn’t mean that it cannot be fun. So as you become more and more ready to enjoy your own fun, your own way of enjoying conversational hypnosis in the outside world and the things that you do, you can find yourself coming back with a renewed sense of excitement about the things that you are learning and getting to grips with. Because the more you enjoy the process of learning conversational hypnosis, the better you’ll become at it. You’ll start doing it with everyone all around you and suddenly you’ll realize that you're a hell of a lot better at this than you thought you were. Track 13 One last refinement… multiple realities Now, we’re almost at the end of this CD and before we go into the exercises, there’s one last refinement that I would like to discuss with you. This refinement is actually related very closely to the extended quotes that you learned at the end of CD 8. Remember, extended quotes is where you quote what someone else is saying as a way of giving direct suggestions to the person that you are talking to. For example, “And the man came up to me and said, ‘Just relax. Feel comfortable and go into a trance.’” So notice how I'm using someone else’s quotes as a way of giving you direct suggestions. One way to get even more mileage out of this concept is to use what’s called multiple or stacked up realities. When you use multiple realities, you begin to bring in many different people, many different characters and each one is saying different things. Possibly even different stories. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 338 So the listener isn't ever quite sure which reality and which story they are talking about. For example, if I talked to you about a family reunion where my cousin Gregory and my cousin Alfred and my brother Vladimir were there. My brother said to my cousin, “How quickly you can relax.” While I was watching him relaxing, my cousin said, “How he relaxed once on a trail finding the ultimate way of finding comfort being to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the sunshine.” “Now, you can enjoy the sunshine in the same way,” said my brother, “as I enjoy just being absorbed by a good book.” Now notice in that example you can get very confused very quickly about who is saying what and when. That’s because the different actors and the different speakers are blending into each other and the quotes are getting confused with each other. While still strictly grammatically it might be correct, it doesn’t actually matter. What matters is that there are these multiple threads of realities all interweaving together. While the conscious mind is too busy trying to figure out who is saying what, why, and when and what reality are we talking about now? Are we talking about relaxing in the woods somewhere? Are we talking about reading a book? Are we talking about this person saying something, that person saying something? All these things take up conscious processing power and so bypass the critical factor which is now too busy trying to analyze who is saying what. So the real message, the hypnotic suggestions just fly on by on the wayside. I'm going to invite you to play with this concept of stacked realities and start weaving them into your conversations because it’s actually a very powerful way to overload and confuse the conscious mind while speaking directly to the unconscious mind. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 339 Track 14 Ex.1 Exercise 1 So we’re into our exercises now. The first exercise is actually going to be a repeat of the last couple of exercises you did on CD 8. The exercises are very simple: Tell a friend about an interesting article that described trance or about a hypnotic experience that your friend John or Jane had as you went along with them. As you talk about these experiences, these hypnotic experiences, begin to include piggyback suggestions inside of the actual descriptions that you are giving. These piggyback suggestions will piggyback off of a yes set. So you are going to feed back into them the kind of reactions that they are giving you. Here’s an example of what I mean. Let’s say you are talking to them and as you are talking to them, they seem to be blinking a lot. So you can tell them, “So Jane was sitting in that chair blinking a lot and suddenly her blinking slowed down.” As soon as you have spotted an unconscious pattern emerging from that person, you are going to acknowledge it, bringing it into your yes set by actually making that one of the characters in your story actually have the same pattern. You can do this on blinking rate, breathing rate. You can do this about sensations. If there is a sound outside of the room, you can kind of weave it in. For example, let’s imagine that you're hearing a lot of people going in and out of doors in the background. You can say to them, “The strange thing is, even though we are sitting in this hypnotherapist’s office there are lots of other offices around as well and people kept opening and closing doors. I thought to myself, ‘Isn't it interesting that this hypnotist is helping Jane to open her mind and close her mind to her old problems just as all the people in the office are moving around doing their own thing.’” Again, you are beginning to incorporate the things that other people are experiencing into a part of your trance induction which makes your piggyback induction even more powerful. Track 15 Ex.2 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 340 Exercise 2 The next exercise is to do with the trance-voice induction. You can do this in either a very simple or in a very indirect sort of way. The simple way to do trance-voice inductions in normal conversations is just to begin to describe the differences between, say, waking, and dreaming. It’s just like a lecture or a philosophical discussion about a particular topic. Of course, you will be doing all the things that you’ve learned about the trance-voice induction as you have in this particular discussion. A more indirect way to introduce the trance-voice induction is to describe yet another article that talked about these functions. About the different signs of consciousness. About the logic mind versus the intuitive mind. About the right brain versus the left brain. These are all interesting metaphors about conscious and unconscious processes. As you talk about all of these different metaphors and even articles that you read, you can of course weave in your trance-voice induction patterns. Track 16 Ex.3 Exercise 3 The next exercise is actually a lot of fun. You are going to start practicing your storytelling and your sensory rich description muscles by beginning to tell a story a day. Each of these stories will have some kind of trance theme about it. So it could be as simple as talking about how you decided to become a sloth and relax on the couch all day. How you went to the cinema. How you went for a drive. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be a story about yourself, about someone else or about someone that you read about or a film that you saw. The important thing is that you have a different story each day with a different trance theme each day. You use this story as a vehicle for your sensory rich descriptions. Here is an important thing for you to remember and this is true for every single hypnotic exercise you do from this point onwards. That is, whenever you engage in a hypnotic exercise with someone, be that direct or indirect, be that in a © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 341 conversation or in a more formal setting, I want you to begin to use your trancevoice whenever you use those hypnotic processes. That’s because you will condition that trance-voice to the hypnotic state. You want to make sure that you condition the hypnotic state to come out with your trance-voice and not your normal speaking voice. Otherwise, you may find your friends are all falling asleep on you and that gets very tedious after a time. Track 17 Ex.4 Exercise 4 The final exercise is, again, a lot of fun. This one is going to take a little bit more working out because what you are going to do is you are going to work up a story in which you are going to fill absolutely packed full of extended quotes and stacked realities. I want you to have a story with many different people in it. Each one will have something to say about trance in some way. It can be an official trance, talking about going to hypnosis; it could be an unofficial trance, like comfort and relaxation. About absorption. About meditation. It doesn’t matter what those things are. What matters is that the story is absolutely packed with different people saying different things which are relevant to trance. You begin to create these multiple realities and blend them so people are not quite sure who is saying what and why one person is saying one thing to another person. Then, you get to use it. Do it with a lot of people and enjoy watching how they react, seeing the sense of confusion in their face and watching them move more and more toward trance as the only way of escaping the kind of confusion that you’ve built for them. It is a tremendously fun exercise. So take your time to actually craft and polish your story properly and enjoy doing it with people. Track 18 End of Bonus CD2 So we’ve reached the end of yet another CD. We finally come to the end of this bonus CD about going beyond conversation inductions and really bypassing the resistance people might give you. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 342 It’s now time for you to go away and practice all these skills that you’ve learned. And if you’ve taken time out from the regular course to come on to this bonus CD, the next CD in the sequence is CD 9, “How to Destroy Resistance with Stories Part Two.” Now, remember in that CD we’re going to be covering all kinds of things to make you a master storyteller. More importantly, a hypnotic storyteller. Until then, I hope you enjoy practicing all the patterns that you learned so far and really become a master of conversational hypnosis. Until the next time, I look forward to meeting you again soon. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 343 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD9 How To Destroy Resistance With Stories – Part Two Track 1 Welcome Welcome to CD 9 of the Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Program. On this CD, entitled "How to Destroy Resistance with Stories – Part Two," we are going to continue from the skills you learned on CD 7 and show you how to take the stories that you have been creating and use them in a hypnotic way. First of all we look at how stories become vehicles for all kinds of hypnotic processes and how you can use stories as a hypnotic interaction. Next, we will look at the power of nested loops, a way of telling stories that when you put people into deep trances creates amnesia automatically. This allows you to take all the hypnotic processes that you have learned on this home study program and then to put them inside of stories, which seem like normal but interesting and fascinating stories. Then people will listen and enjoy the stories you tell, and at the same time your influence and persuasion is taking more and more hold in the interaction. Then we will look at the creative process so you will know how to put everything together and create your own nested loops, because the creative process is actually a little different than just working this out with pen and paper. You will learn how to use your unconscious mind as part of the process to create very powerful hypnotic inductions for the stories you tell. Finally, we will talk about some bonus material that we have created especially for you. But I won't spoil the surprise just yet. I will allow you to get to the end of this CD and find out for yourself what bonus surprises we have in store for you. So, as soon as you are ready to do this, sit back, relax, and enjoy learning conversational hypnosis. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 344 Track 2 How to use stories to get what you want So, assuming you have done all the exercises on CD 7 thoroughly, you should be able to come up with stories pretty much on the fly. Now what is more important than that, is that you can make those stories do different things. You can make stories on a certain theme. You can make stories have certain ideas or objects within them. You can change locations. You can change the stories, basically, to make them do whatever you want them to do. So what do you do with these stories now, in order to make them more hypnotic and create these trance processes that you have come here to learn? Hypnotic Story 1: Use It To Deliver Embedded Suggestions Well, stories can be used in many ways, and in my opinion one of the simplest and most powerful ways in stories is to use them as vehicles for embedded suggestions. Just think back to Milton Erickson, who discovered the idea of embedded suggestions. Remember how he would make dictations of complete nonsense words, but embed within it all kinds of suggestions for his secretary to lose the headache. Well, if you can embed it within nonsense words, why not embed it within stories, so that it starts making sense on a conscious level as well as having an embedded suggestion on the unconscious level? Because now people can be delighted by the story while the unconscious mind can be influenced by the suggestion. This is, in fact, what Milton Erickson did for most of his life. There is a very famous example of this called the tomato plant induction in which Milton Erickson had to work with a patient who was riddled with cancer. This poor man was in a huge amount of pain with a lot of drugs, and there really wasn't much that could be done for him. So Erickson went in as a favor to the family and started talking to the man. Now this man, called Joe, was a florist and he loved his plants. Erickson started sitting down and saying, "I hear that you are a florist and you like plants. I don't know much about flowers but I do know about plants, because I grew up on a farm." © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 345 And then at this point he launches into this long monologue about how they grow and how they eat up the rain, et cetera. Now, within that, he would embed suggestions about hope, about comfort, about growth, about being at ease. So there was Milton Erickson talking about tomatoes for what seemed like hours on end, and the family was sitting outside thinking, “When is the doctor actually going to do something?” At some point they started trying to officially pass a note to him saying, "When are you going to begin with the hypnosis?" And Dr. Erickson was just ignoring them and carrying on with the monolog, until eventually they came in and put the paper right under his face. And then they realized that Joe the florist was in a deep trance and didn't even see his family members or the piece of paper. The upshot of the whole thing was that Joe's condition improved remarkably. So one thing you can do with your stories is tell a story with almost any theme whatsoever, but then embed within it certain words which will be the suggestions that you want other people to respond to. Now, the interesting thing is, the theme of the story has to have zero relationship to the themes of your embedded suggestions. In fact, it is usually better if the two are totally unrelated because it doesn’t alert the conscious mind as to what you are doing. Track 3 How to use stories to get what you want Hypnotic Story 2: Install An Emotional Trigger The second way that you can use stories in order to create a hypnotic process is to use them to install an emotional rollercoaster. Remember, people respond to their emotions in a very powerful way. In fact, emotions are part of the unconscious; in other words, they are an unconscious response. So when you are taking people through an emotional rollercoaster, you are actually activating unconscious responses. Now when you think back to the four stage protocol you discovered on CD 1, you already realize you are back to stage three as soon as you have an unconscious response, and all you have to do then is be able to lead it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 346 So installing an emotional rollercoaster can be very important. It can be very important in order to suck a client or a friend or a family member out of a dark situation, a bad situation, to help them make better decisions, because the emotional state they are in will actually have a huge influence on the quality and the kind of decision that they make. So emotional rollercoasters can also be used to influence behavior, and we will look at this more fully on CD 11, which is entitled "Conversational Trance Formulas – Getting What You Want.” In order to install an emotional rollercoaster, all you have to do is choose the appropriate emotion and the theme to go with it. So if you want someone to laugh, you make a humorous story. If you want someone to relax, you talk about relaxing themes like walking through a forest or maybe sitting by a quiet lake somewhere. In fact, in any story you tell, these emotional undercurrents are going to be a very powerful and important part of the hypnotic process. Track 4 How to use stories to get what you want Hypnotic Story 3: Offer Metaphorical Resolutions The third way to use stories is to use what I call metaphorical resolutions. Some people call these isomorphic stories, because isomorphic means the same structure; “iso” meaning same and “morphic” meaning structure or shape. The way this works is you tell a story that essentially mirrors the situation the other person is in, although in a very indirect way. Classically, people think of stories like Goldilocks, the fairy tale. The fairy tale mirrors a situation someone may be in, where something is not good enough or something is just right, et cetera. Isomorphic stories can be very powerful but you have to make sure people don't tweak to them consciously; otherwise they start to consciously analyze your stories and that takes away from the impact. So, as an example, if the therapist wants to influence his patients to have a better sex life, he might sit there and tell them stories about different cultures and how they all eat different meals in a different way. Or how some people have larger appetites than others and how some might start with the dessert even though it seems to be in the reverse order. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 347 All these different stories are actually becoming metaphors for how different people can enjoy their sex life in different ways. Of course, the important part is that it goes outside of conscious analysis, and that way you bypass any possible resistance because the critical factor just does not even know it is happening. Having said this, as with any other thing, there are times when you can tell stories that actually go right to the heart of a matter where people will tweak on it both consciously and unconsciously, simultaneously. And that is usually the case when you are actually touching on something that other people kind of want people to know about but are too polite or afraid to say it outright. Here is an example. Jay Haley is a very gifted therapist who learned a lot of things from Milton Erickson, the great hypnotist. Now when Milton actually saw him for the first time he saw that he was as skinny as a rake and he could tell he had all kinds of eating problems or disorders. He was a very fussy eater. So the first thing that Milton did was he took him into his office and sat him down and for an hour just lectured him, or rather he told him story after story after story, and all of them had something to do with food. In some of them there would be people going to a restaurant; in someone would be buying food in another one, or there would be a dispute as to who got to eat which plate. It didn't matter what it was, but each story somehow was revolving around food. Anyway, at the end of this process, Jay Haley goes away and somehow, miraculously, his attitudes toward food changes. And it wasn't until months later that he suddenly realized why Milton sat him down and told him all these stories about food. So stories are tremendous vehicles for being able to give other people advice or helping them through tough times, where your advice would normally be rejected. It also allows a freedom for the unconscious mind to make its own associations, to attach to their own life experiences, so that whatever comes out of the other end of it, it is something that actually fits the other person, which means you can help influence someone in a certain direction. But you will also know, because unconscious processes are involved, that whatever comes out of it will be something which is useful for that particular person and their particular life situation. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 348 Track 5 How to use stories to get what you want Hypnotic Story 4: Prime The Unconscious Mind The fourth way you can use stories is to format the unconscious mind. In essence, what you are doing is you are pre-teaching the unconscious mind to do certain things, so that by the time they get into the situation where they need to do it, they have a predisposition of being primed to do this. This is a little bit like cutting storm drains into the side of a mountain, so that when it starts raining you will know exactly where the rain will collect and which way it will flow down. In order to pre-teach the unconscious mind, you can use stories to basically install all kinds of ideas, expectations or desires about the future. This is something that the advertising industry, for example, really understands well. For example, when you tell a story about a previous customer and how delighted they were, or how at first they did not want to buy this product, but somehow when they thought about it they realized all these reasons to buy it. And when they had it they were delighted they did get it. Think what you have just done there. In essence this is an isomorphic story which matches the experience this person is about to have. You are also pre-teaching them. You are telling them, here is your situation, here is how you resolve the problem, and here is how you will feel at the end of it. Because you are creating that unconscious expectation, provided you follow the same steps as you go along, then the other person is very likely to do this as well. You can do this in any situation. Managers will have stories or myths about the workplace they are working in that other people need to live up to. A great example is a mythology created by Johnson & Johnson. Mr. Johnson was a very ethical person and a long time after he passed away and the company became a sort of more corporate face, there came a problem in the 1980s where someone started to poison some of the Johnson baby foods in a particular store, in a particular area, I think in Philadelphia. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 349 Now, a whole panic ensued, and the company decided to pull every single baby food off the shelves in the entire United States of America, even though the problem was only localized in one particular area, where some crazy person was going around sabotaging these things. Now, everyone told the company not to do this; they would lose market shares, they would lose profits, they would never recover from this, et cetera. But the board of directors said, “No, we are pulling everything.” So at a huge risk and huge cost, they pulled every tin of baby food off the shelves in the entire country. As it turned out this simple act inspired so much confidence in the American people that when Johnson & Johnson brought the baby food back, this time with new tamper proof seals on top, not only did they recover their original market share; they actually improved. The consultants asked the board of directors at Johnson & Johnson, "How did you know this was going to happen? How did you know to make this decision?" So this is a beautiful example of how stories and metaphors can work. Here is a story of someone who has long since passed away, who inspired a whole board of directors to make a decision which was correct in terms of ethics, but possibly incorrect in terms of finances. But as a result of the way that they did it, it ended up being a better financial decision even though that wasn't the reason they took it. And that shows the beautiful complexity of the unconscious mind. It can account for so many different variables that the decisions that are made at the end of it end up being better than they would have been had you followed some logical piece of advice straight away. So storytelling can format the unconscious to not only create better decisions at the end, but also give them a structure, a way of deciding, even pointing out certain things that the unconscious mind will have to take account of as a part of that process. Track 6 The persuasive power of nested loops So the four uses of a story we have discussed are very powerful and you can use them in the form of a simple story. In other words, one story does this whole thing together. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 350 An even more powerful way of doing it, though, is to use nested stories or nested loops. These are stories which are designed to acquire even more interest from the unconscious mind and get it to work even harder, while at the same time being more hypnotic and less easy to trace consciously. In other words, it bypasses the critical factor even more fully just because there is a lot more going on. So what do I mean by a nested loop? A nested loop is basically a way of combining three or four or five different stories that will become more impactful unconsciously. So instead of doing the normal thing of telling story one and finishing story one, start story two and finish story two, start story three and finish three, etc… What you will be doing in essence will be starting story one and telling it all the way to the climax, but before you finish it, you break and move on to story two. And you take that one almost to the climax, then break that story off and go into story three. And you will take that one almost through to the climax and break that off as well. What is happening here is, because each story is incomplete, the unconscious mind is going into overdrive, just trying to complete the details and finish the story off. Special Principle: The Zeigarnik Effect There is something called a Zeigarnik Effect. In psychological terms the Zeigarnik effect is something that when you leave a task incomplete or an instruction incomplete, that task or instruction develops a much higher level of importance inside the mind. People either remember it more fully or do it better. Another thing that happens with the Zeigarnik effect is that people don't close their minds off to learning. What happens when something gets completed is the mind turns off and says, "Now I know everything I need to know about this subject," and it moves on to something else. The problem, of course, with a completed topic, is that when new information comes or when you discover there is an improvement to be made, it is more difficult to get through to the other person, because in their minds, the sheet is already labeled “complete”. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 351 With the Zeigarnik effect, it is always leaving a sense of maybe there is a bit more to find out. In fact, whenever you ask somebody a question and leave the question open ended, the unconscious mind will spend weeks, months, even years afterwards continuing to try to answer that particular question, until it can find a satisfactory resolution. Nested stories also employ the principle of multiple realities, because each story can be a new type of reality, a new set of information and facts. This will also confuse the conscious mind because there is so much to keep track of that it can't do any more. And at the same time all kinds of other things can slip by the wayside, so you can slip in your suggestions, install the emotional rollercoaster. You can create metaphorical resolutions and even format the unconscious mind outside of the normal conscious awareness because there is so much going on and so many things that the conscious mind needs to pay attention to that it simply cannot reject everything that you are doing. Track 7 The four levels of nested loops You can make nested loops very sophisticated in the way that you use them. So I have divided these into four different categories. There are 1. 2. 3. 4. basic nested loops, intermediate use nested loops, advanced nested loops, and mastery level nested loops. Each of these four different categories will take a skill to another level and make it a little bit more sophisticated and complex. Now to make things easier for you, have a look at the information sheet that has been included with this home study program. Information Sheet: How To Destroy Resistance With Stories When you look at the information sheet headed "How to Destroy Resistance with Stories" you will find a visual representation of each of these four levels. And we are going to discuss each one in turn so that you can understand it fully. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 352 So I would recommend you take out the information sheet, "How to Destroy Resistance with Stories" and look at it as we discuss each of the four levels of nested loops, because it will help you understand it a little more about the things and the structures that I am talking about. Track 8 Level 1: the basic nested loop So let’s look at the structure of a basic nested loop. A nested loop can be used with as many stories as you want. But for the moment, let's just look at 3 stories being used because of simple structure. Normally, I'd recommend you use between 5 and 12. After 12 or 13 stories, it starts getting too cumbersome. So anywhere between 3 and 12 stories will be a perfect number for nesting depending on what you're trying to achieve with it. So let’s assume you want to create a basic nested loop with 3 stories. If you look at the diagram on your information sheet “How to Destroy Resistance with Stories”, you've got clear representation there. Start Story 1 What you're going to do, you're going to tell each of the 3 stories in turn, but not completely. So tell story one and when we get about 80% of the way through story one we'll break off. Start Story 2 Now the way you break off is either through a hard loop or a soft loop, which we'll come back to in a moment. Then you'll tell story two, again you'll break off around 80-90% of the way through and again you'll use a hard or a soft loop. Start Story 3 You’ll go on to story three, you'll do the same thing only this time when you break off at the 80-90% mark you now have a perfect situation, a perfect open space, in which to present your suggestions. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 353 Now these three stories will tend to create trance all by themselves because of the way you're stacking realities next to each other. Suggestion Phase One of the things that happens is when you get to the bit in the middle, you can often direct suggestions like, “You can learn those things, you can enjoy this, you can make better decisions.” Very direct suggestions, and then you can close your stories off. Close Stories: 3, 2 and 1 Then you can simply close each of the loops off starting in reverse order. In other words, the last story you told was story three, so you finish story three first, then you finish story two off, then you finish story one off. And then you carry on with whatever theme, whatever topic you were talking about beforehand. Now what this does is, it tends to create a form of amnesia, because the first story which was beginning and end, tend to collapse because when the two ends join together it creates a smooth bridge. You remember the whole story from start to finish. Of course, it's almost like a bubble's been trapped underneath with the second story and inside it another bubble is trapped with the third story and inside that is trapped the bubble with your direct suggestions. Because each of these layers is a different kind of reality. You tend to create amnesia, increasing amount of amnesia for each one of these stories. So there is a tendency to consciously forget the content afterwards, which is perfect because that way it doesn’t have a chance to analyze and criticize and reject the information. Hard & Soft Loops Now we talked about soft and hard loops and let's have a little chat about what those things mean. A soft or hard loop basically talks about how you transition from one story to the next. Soft Loops You can create a soft loop by creating a very smooth transition. Here's an example of what I mean by that. “I was walking through the forest with a friend of mine on the way to a picnic, and the interesting thing is, we're walking through this forest and I noticed on the ground lay this old spinning top, you know, those kind of things where you just pick them up and spin them and they keep turning around, around, around, and around on a table or something. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 354 “It's a child’s toy. And I remember when I was a child, I used to love spinning tops, in fact, I got one for Christmas once when I was still living in Spain.” Let me just stop you there for a moment and let you see what happened. I just created a soft loop. I started with one story about going through the forest, maybe for a picnic and I found something and that creates a smooth segue into my next story. The next story is about receiving a spinning top at a Christmas party when I was younger. Notice that makes a very smooth transition. When I run into the next story about the spinning top that I got as a Christmas present, that suddenly becomes my new story and by the time you've realized that I've left off my original story, you're too sucked into the new story to really raise an objection. That’s the beauty of a soft story. It is a very smooth process. Hard Loops A hard loop, on the other hand, is something that happens without any explanation. For example, “I was walking through the forest with my friend and we were going to have this picnic and I haven't seen this guy for ages and finally we get to this picnic area. We lay out the blanket and bring out the cheese and the wine and the bread and the food and we have a great time. Suddenly I noticed a whole bunch of crows circling around and around and around just over the hill where we were actually sitting down having our picnic. “I said to my friend, ‘We need the find out what that is because something weird is going on, right?’ “Now two weeks ago, I went to see the dentist, actually it wasn't me who went to see the dentist; I went to the dentist office with a client of mine who used to be afraid of dentists until I did that fast phobia cure. We had to go to the dentist office to test and make sure everything was okay.” Now again, let's stop there and notice what happened this time. Notice how I had a hard loop, in other words just at the point when the action start getting more interesting, you see the birds flying and we've got to find out what the mystery is, I cut and I moved to a different story without any excuse whatsoever. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 355 It's very obvious I've changed stories and at first it seems a little bit confusing because it's a bit harsh because the cutting point is such a cold cut, such a direct cut. Now what I then tend to do because you create such a hard loop, you can create a much clearer line of division which again tends to create a greater amount of amnesia later on, because the stories when they're complete, have a much smoother joint and therefore the information that is trapped underneath it will be a little bit more unconscious. So soft loops are less noticeable but have a milder effect. Hard loops are more noticeable at that time, but also have a greater impact and in particular will tend to create a greater amount of amnesia later on. So that's the structure of a basic nested loop. You tell a few stories, 3, 4, 5 stories as you get through to about the 80% mark, just to the high point of each story, you break it either with a hard or a soft loop, you move on to the next story, and again near the end you break it, a third story, a fourth story, etc. When you break the final story, you have a period for direct suggestion. Now you can be very direct at this point because they will be in a trance by now anyway. And when you finish off, you finish off in reverse order. It's very important you don't get the wrong order in closing off. Because if you finish off the first story first, second story second, third story third, it doesn’t match the order in which the stories were broken off any more. So if you start closing the loops in the wrong order the structure is no longer ideal. There comes a time when you can actually put loops within loops within loops, but that’s getting even more sophisticated than what we need to do at this point. For the moment just do very simple loops. Three or four stories, cut each one off at the 80-90% mark, move on to the next story, then in the middle of all the stories you tell your suggestions, the very direct suggestions, then you close off the stories; story three, story two, story one. Then you carry one like nothing ever happened. Track 9 Level 2: the intermediate level nested loop Next we have an intermediate level nested loop. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 356 Now the intermediate nested loop is actually the same as a basic nested loop, the same basic structure and layout. You just will refine it and add a few pieces to make it more impactful. So what will you be adding? The first thing you're going to add is emotional content. By this I mean that each of the stories that you tell will have an emotional theme to go with it so that each story will elicit in someone else a state, some kind of emotional experience. Now when you go back to the Emotional Trigger CD, CD 5, you'll find all kinds of different ways that you had to evoke an emotional state in someone else. Then you use those skills but this time you’re going to bury them in storytelling. So remember, one way to evoke an emotional condition is to actually just rift around a particular theme, a particular set of language themes, for example going on a holiday or just whatever it happens to be. Another way to do it is to use dramatic devices. If you need any help with this just go to any Hollywood film and you'll notice how they manipulate your emotions through the dramatic devices of the characters, the situation the characters get put into and also the music and visuals that are created. So remember, part of the experience you're creating for people is the experience, the pictures you're painting inside their mind. You paint those pictures in different ways. You make different sounds appear inside their mind by the descriptions you offer and they'll have different emotional reactions. Now two people can tell a story. One person can tell you how they brought their children to school one day and everyone can be sitting there laughing and crying just about the antics that are going on. Another person can tell you about the most heart wrenching condition. Say that his parents passed away over the weekend and he can tell it in such a flat way that no one has any emotion reaction at all. In fact, if anything, people get bored. So the difference between the two is the way the story is told. Now everything you've learned so far is going to be very important for you to use at this stage. So you're going to use your emotional tones in your voice. Train your voice to be able to express emotion. It's very important. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 357 And one way to get good at these dramatic devices is through the story a day exercise that you learned on CD 7. Just tell lots, and lots, and lots of stories. The stories can be about anything. The story can be about how you laze about on your couch all day. It doesn’t matter provided that you communicate some kind of emotional event, an emotional experience. And as time goes by, you'll be able to polish these things. Now remember, these stories are things that you must practice in the presence of other people. If you just do it by yourself, you might get a little bit useful to the flow and that sort of stuff, which is okay, but until you make a story that you present to other people and until you make it up live in the moment, you won't know where the timing goes, you won't know where the dramatic pauses go. You won't know because you have no one to react to you, to respond. The whole point of the story is that you get people responding to you. The same is true of these nested loops. These nested loops are only ever as good as each individual loop that you put together. So before you can start putting a story together in a sequence you need to be able to have decent stories. They don't have to be the world’s best stories but they have to be decent stories that stand on their own and captures people’s attention, captures their imagination. So you're telling your stories, 3, 4, 5 different loops. You're breaking off at the right point, you're transitioning, and at each point you're creating a little chain of emotional experiences. You're creating an emotional rollercoaster people can go through. Now this can be a very useful way, by the way, of activating someone’s negative emotions and then slowly changing them into a positive emotion as well through the power of storytelling. So already you're beginning to work on many different levels in terms of stories. There's the emotional rollercoaster level, which could have a particular experience that it's following. You can have the actual stories themselves and the stories that they tell and the information that provides as well as the trance processes that you have in the middle. Now if you compare this to the way that stories were originally told, or originally used by the old storytellers in Europe, in Africa, in North America, pretty much anywhere that human beings had settled down. They used a stock of stories, a small stock of maybe 10, 20, 30 stories. They would tell them over and over again. And they could take 10 minutes or they could take five hours in the telling of the story. You'd never know which one it would be until you got there, because the © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 358 stories would be used to resolve the kinds of issues the tribe was having at that time. The stories would be used as a way of communicating a pattern of change to people, and the storyteller would know which stories to tell and how to tell them based entirely on his audience’s reactions. Now when you have a stock of stories that you can tell, some which have certain emotional states embedded in other things, you'll know how far to take them based on the reaction your audience is giving you, so there is always that feedback loop going on. Now the second thing you'll be doing at the intermediate level of nested loops, is instead of giving just pure or straight suggestions in the middle between the stories all being broken off and then closing up again at the end, you’ll use a trance process instead. We'll look at these trance processes in more detail on CD 11, on “Conversational Trance Formulas: Getting What You Want.” Once you've learned those you can come back and insert them here at the point of suggestion between the point where you break off your final story and begin to close all your loops again. These trance processes will do the same thing essentially as a direct set of suggestions do; it's just that they are a bit more sophisticated because they take the mind through a particular journey. Now anything can be a trance process. You can give the mind a set of instructions of things it needs to do in order to get to a particular outcome. You can follow the actual trance processes that we've laid out for you in CD 11. You can also stick with direct suggestions if you prefer doing that. The point is, you now have more options of what kind of things you can do when you get people to those deep levels of trance. Track 10 Level 3: the advanced nested loop Okay, so we're now on to advanced level nested loops, and as you may have guessed already, an advanced nested loop looks pretty much the same as an intermediate nested loop. It's just that you're again, adding refinements to the whole thing. The first refinement has to do the trance processes that you're using. Although in the previous one, in the intermediate nested loop, you already started using trance processes as part of the suggestions at the bottom of the change pyramid, if you like, or the bottom of the nested loops, you are going to now add trance processes into the actual stories themselves, so that each story runs through a particular trance process all by itself. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 359 Now you don't have to have all stories do this, but you can make sure that some of the stories actually become bits of change work, while at the same time leading to the next story and setting up another bit of change again. So this is how you have stories all backing each other up and creating a very powerful impact. Of course, it's still using an emotional theme, so you have the emotional rollercoaster riding as well. Now, these trance processes in effect format the unconscious mind. They create a kind of skeleton inside the mind that all other experiences will be hung on, so you'll know what shape it will be by the time you come to the end. So you can use these trance processes to format the unconscious mind as a way of seeding suggestions, or as a way of actually resolving whatever problems were there in the first place. You can do this in many different ways. You can use any of the vehicles that we've talked about before. For example, you can use a metaphorical resolution so the story has the same kind of shape as the problem or the situation the person happens to find themselves in. And when we come up to the demonstration of nested loops in action, I will actually demonstrate all those things to you. You can also use it to pre-teach certain things to get people set up to succeed in certain ways by explaining in a very indirect sort of way the procedure they have to go through, the mental and physical steps they need to take in order to come to a successful conclusion in whatever things they are doing. So a sales person, when they want to run someone through the whole sales process, the forms they have to fill in, the stamps they've got to take, the payments they've got to make, and all those different things which normally might overload a new client, and bit by bit train them to understand what the sales process will involve by the stories that they tell. A teacher, on the other hand, or a new manager may want to educate his new team or his students into being better at the actual task they have to do. In other words, they'll learn the information they have to be able to use before they know they're learning it. Again, stories can do this for you by providing a learning experience of something they have had no experience of before. Then when they actually get to cover the topic, it seems familiar and they go, “Oh, I know.” And suddenly their intuitions are already set, because the unconscious mind is thinking in a particular direction which you set up with your stories in advance. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 360 So the learning curve becomes much sharper, because it's a lot easier for them to pick the information up, because it's already been pre-taught. So these are some of the ways that you can use the trance processes within a story. Now when you get to the central part, the place where you will do your hypnotic suggestions, the change work if you like, the other thing you're going to add at this point as well as using the normal trance processes of the intermediate loops we're using. You’re going to add, also, the post hypnotic suggestion protocol. Now again, the post hypnotic suggestion protocol you'll discover on CD 11 on Conversational Trance Formulas. This is a very powerful way of getting people to do certain behaviors at certain automatic cues. So even when you're not there, they’re sure to execute the same behaviors regardless of whether you're there to remind them or not. The final thing you're going to add is something you're going to add to the way that you close your loops. When you're closing your loops, of course you're going to close the stories and you're going to seal the amnesia. You're going to begin to allow the amnesia to take part by making each story complete and finishing each level one at a time. Now a very nice thing to weave into this stage is a future memory process. Again, this will be covered in more detail on CD 11 on Conversational Trance Formulas, but in essence, to give you a preview, in essence the future memory process takes someone by the hand and guides them through an imaginary future where all the skills, all the changes, all the things that entire hypnotic process that you've been focusing on is about has been actualized. So the person gets a genuine experience of what it will be like to live in a world where all these things have happened So a sales person may do a future memory process of a client happily going through, the sales person having happily negotiated the sales process, now being back at home with the car or the TV or whatever it is they happen to have bought, and being happy with it so that they don't have any buyer’s remorse. A teacher may well take a student by the hand and take him through the future memory of what happens after the exam has been successfully passed. So the future memory process is a very powerful way of creating a presupposition of success. And this way if you assume success, the unconscious mind will assume that it has to do all the things in order to make it happen. It's a very powerful process. So experiment with it and use it properly Track 11 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 361 Level 4: the mastery level nested loop With the mastery level of nested loops you can look at the whole thing in a number of different ways. One way to look at it is to follow the natural linear progression that we have been following so far for the basic, intermediate, and advanced nested groups. Now let's just add a few extra pieces to refine and polish the impact even further. The way you do this would be to add the conversation induction protocol into each of the stories. So if you go back to CD 8 called “Conversational Inductions Dealing Directly with the Unconscious Mind,” you will remember that we covered a whole bunch of indirect hypnosis conversational inductions that you can use inside of normal conversations. And you can use each one of those within a story as well, so you can make the story structure follow the same procedures that otherwise would be used in a normal conversation. Now if you want the loops to look really elaborate, you can make each story follow a different conversational induction protocol and thereby have continuous loops of deepness built into your storytelling itself. You don't have to do that, but it's a great way to virtually guarantee that someone’s going to go into a very profound altered state of consciousness and a very profound state of hypnosis. Now the second thing you can do to add power to your master level of nested loops is to use embedded suggestions. You can use embedded suggestions pretty much anywhere you want, because they just slip naturally into the language. Remember you can use the suggestions as an ambiguity so you have double meanings and one of the meanings of the suggestions. You can use them very directly. You can put them into quotes, stacked realities, the whole works. Now one powerful way to use embedded suggestions is in combination with the states, the emotional rollercoaster that you've been creating throughout. So what you do is you use embedded suggestions as emotional triggers, as hypnotic trigger words to trigger off the very states, the emotional responses that you've been creating with these stories. In this way, you get to build up a whole bunch of resources for people which you then get to fire off later on as and when you need them. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 362 For example, you may want to, as a sales person, you may want to create a whole set of stories that have things like desire and motivation and all the kinds of emotional experiences that people need to be in, that people need to have, before they can buy something. Then when it comes to actually signing the contract, you can fire off each of the emotional triggers one after the other after the other, so you put the person into the ideal buying state just before you present the contract and that way, they know they are making the right decision as that pen goes to the paper. There are lots of other ways you can use these as well. I'm sure your creativity will help you find all of them. Now the important thing is not whether you have this rigid structure in your nested loops and the way you tell your stories. When you talk about mastering something, you really ought to have much more choice, a creative choice in the way that you structure things. We’ve only created this storytelling pyramid, the nested loops being a very rigid structure of open one loop, open the next loop, open the next loop, et cetera, and close each loop in sequence, as a training aid. Thats because that's a very neat and very simple way of conceptualizing the nested loops. But what you end up doing at the mastery level is you can actually have loops built inside loops, built inside loops, so that while you follow the general pyramid that we've talked about, you can also tell stories within stories. Maybe in story three you loop through another 1 or 2 stories within that, come back to story three and then you have story seven that you start off on so that the closing structure will then be story seven, three, two, and one, because stories four, five, and six were looped inside of story three, opened and closed within that. So you notice how now you have very elegant design of loops following inside of each other and this can be very powerful, especially when working with other hypnotists who are already familiar with the idea of structured storytelling like this. That’s because it's very difficult for them to keep track of all the stories that you're telling. This is another way to overload the conscious mind, that critical factor, so that you can get straight into the unconscious mind with the message of your stories. So I've given you a very formal pattern, a very formal design for creating nested loops, all the way from the basic to the master level. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 363 Please bear in mind, you should be breaking those patterns when the situation demands it, because sometimes it's more appropriate to run different kinds of loops. Track 12 How to design a series of nested loops Now I would like to talk to you a little bit about how you actually design a nested loop, a nice hypnotic storytelling intervention. You see, it is one thing to know what the structure looks like and having a sequence of things you want to build into your stories. It is another thing entirely actually creating those stories and actually making them do what you want. 7 Steps To Easily Create A Complete Set of Hypnotic Nested Loops Creating A Loop Step 1: Begin With The End In Mind Now you are beginning to think that building a nested loop is a very linear process and very logical process. You start with a first story, tell a second story, create the third story, and each time you try to weave in all the various things-the embedded commands, the emotional content, et cetera, that you want. The thing is, though, the unconscious mind doesn’t work that way. The unconscious mind works in a much more holistic way, which means you have to start the story wherever your mind wants to begin. So when I start a new set of nested loops, the first thing I do is I think about, “What is the big outcome; what is it that you are trying to achieve with this?” Because once you know what your outcome is, you give your unconscious mind basically an instruction of where to get to. Creating A Loop Step 2: Imagine Your Audience The second thing I ask myself is, "Who is this intended for?" Once I know who it is intended for, I know where they are beginning from. I know where they are starting from. I know the things that they know and the things that they don't know. The problems they typically face. These are all built into your understanding of who your audience is. So remember nested loops are actually created for certain audiences and at the same time are trying to achieve certain things. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 364 So now that I have an audience in mind, I have a starting point. Now that I have a purpose in mind, I have a finishing point, an end point. And the space in between is bridged with your stories. That is what they are designed to do. Creating A Loop Step 3: Overcome the Hurdles Now once you know what those parameters are, you have a sense of, "What are the hurdles you have to overcome?" So when you know what your audience is and you know what problems they typically face, maybe the excuses they make and maybe the emotional problems that they have on the way through lack of motivation, fear, anxiety, doubt; whatever it happens to be. Now you can start specifically looking at those things, those problems, and using your stories to resolve them. Or at least using the stories to create the resources so that when you come to the actual point where you transform them, the actual suggestion bit in the beginning or middle bits of the loops, then you can actually use that as a point of transformation. By the time you finish all the stories off, you are actually using that as a chain that goes straight to the outcome you had in mind. Creating A Loop Step 4: Brainstorm Now when it comes to the actual story design itself, you don't necessarily start with the first story and go all the way through to the last. You may do it that way but it is very rare that I have done that myself. So the first thing I do is scan my mind and allow thoughts and ideas to come into my mind, very much like the creativity exercise that you practiced on CD 7 when creating stories out of nothing. And I will allow little snatches to come through. In other words, you might have this story that you heard from someone else, you might have a bit of your own experience. You might think of something that would be interesting to say in the sense of couple of choice words. You might want to write all these things down. This is your brainstorming phase. You have to have your ideas on paper or at least inside your mind for you to be able to use. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 365 Not all of these ideas will actually make it into your final stories. In fact, typically I will write down a whole bunch of things first, and when I actually get to writing down the stories later or at least creating the stories inside my own mind, at least half if not all of the things I have written down will have disappeared, because I have better ways of doing things. These are just starting points. And when it comes to the actual stories, you have to do something with them as well. You have to let them grow and evolve, and ideally be able to test them as individual stories on different people, if you have the time to do that, of course. Creating A Loop Step 5: Start In The Middle Now, as to the stories themselves, I will typically start by taking whichever story I am most inspired by. I cannot emphasize this enough. Inspiration is the key to powerful storytelling. If you start a story because you know you should tell it, then it will be halfhearted. You need to begin with whichever story captures your imagination the most or your inspiration the most. Then use that as the starting point. Now, that does not mean you have to use that as the beginning of your nested loops. It might be the very last story; it might be the story in the middle. But you begin with that, because it gets to your unconscious mind and gets the whole creative process flowing. Creating A Loop Step 6: Fill In The Blanks So let's say, for example, that you start with the third story out of a five-story sequence. You start that story and you run with it until you have a sense of where it is going and what you are doing with it, and you are putting in all the things you want to put in. Then you might think about, “Hang on a second. There’s a story that needs to go before this. How can I lead into this story?” Suddenly you have the second story in your sequence because the second story was inspired by that third story you began with. The same is true of the beginning. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 366 The question you ask yourself then is, “How do I lead from nothing into leading this audience into wanting to listen to the second story?” Again, that inspires your first story, your opening gambit. The same thing happens with your fourth and fifth story, because you may be thinking of certain resources. Let's say with story one you get the audience warmed up and hook their attention. Let's say with story two you begin putting some resources in, you begin embedding some suggestions; maybe even planting some seeds which will take fruit later on. The same thing happens in story three. You create a certain state, an emotional trigger; some more seeds for later on. Story four might be a question of adding either more resources, adding more of these seeds, or you might start combining them, using them already. Story five; again, you may want to be using those things already, so that by the time you get to the trance process bit in the middle, they are already ready for the changes you are trying to create for them. Creating A Loop Step 7: Use The Creative Loop The upshot of this whole thing is that designing stories, nested loops, is a creative process which means you have to follow that creative loop. The best thing to do if you have the time is create a bunch of stories, go to sleep, review them, add some more and change some more and go back to sleep again. In every sleep cycle you go through, you will actually allow your unconscious mind to work through those things more and more. If you don't have time to go to sleep, you may want to use self-hypnosis in order to allow that point of creativity, that gestation to take place, and allow your unconscious mind time to play those ideas through more and more. If you want to learn more about self-hypnosis, a simple way to do it is to make yourself a tape. You are a conversational hypnotist now, so you may as well make yourself a tape which talks you through the process of relaxing and feeling good inside and having more creative ideas. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 367 Another thing you might do is you might want to come to one of my iMethod Seminars. Go to www.iMethodSeminars.com, all one word, and you will find out a lot more about how to use the power of your inner mind but for yourself and on yourself. The main thing is that you give time and space to allow the creative process to take effect. Become A Natural Storyteller Now, with experience, the first thing that will happen is you will have a stock of stories that you like telling. You will know them, you will rely on them, you can make them do different things, and you will pull them up over and over again because they are very useful. The second thing you will realize is that many of your best stories will come to you in a flash of inspiration, just completely out of the blue. You will be talking to someone and suddenly you’re in the middle of a story, you don't know how you got there, but you know it is a good one because you recognize all the pieces. And as you begin to recognize that you begin to layer more of the things you know how to do; the language, the tonalities, and all these other things. And then of course you will want to remember that story because you will want to use that again in the future. So these are the natural, spontaneous stories that will come through from time to time. Then what will happen is that with more and more experience you might even start coming up with nested loops on the fly, right there in the moment. Now this is something that takes practice because your mind has to be able to learn to think in certain ways. You have to create those tracks, those channels inside the mind, so you can filter the information straight into stories. This is why CD 7 was so important. CD 7 gave you all the exercises you needed in order to condition those channels inside your mind to create stories and to make them something which is natural for you to do, a natural way of thinking or a natural way of communicating for you. I would recommend that you go back and do those exercises again, and again, and again, even when – and especially when – you are good at them. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 368 That’s because those exercises are the heart and soul of your ability to tell stories. They create the muscles, so it is like going to the gym. If you go to a gym, even though you are strong, you still have to work those muscles out to maintain the strength. I am going to leave you with those thoughts on storytelling in the creative process. Just remember, it is a creative process, and you will discover your own ways of proceeding, your own methodologies. It’s important that you do that. Hopefully you will have enough pieces here for you to be able to work out a way for you to do your own thing that works for you as an individual. Track 13 The Amazing, Secret Bonus Track Revealed Before we come on to the exercises for this CD, I want to have a little word about nested loops in action. I think it is very important that I give you a demonstration of these so you can see the ways these can be used and the wonderful complexities and sophistications that can be built into them. Now unfortunately, I got a bit carried away with the content of this CD, and also with creating a nested loop, which means there is way too much to be included in this CD. So what I have done is I have created a special Bonus CD entitled "Conversational Hypnosis in Action: The Super Hypnotic Storyteller Induction." Now this is a piece of work I am very proud of. It is a one hour long set of nested loops which has all these things we have been talking about built in. It has five levels of stories, and each one has different layers of sophistication, different trance processes and things built inside of it for you to experience at many different levels. So as well as being a demonstration of nested loops and actions at the mastery level, it also installs inside of you a real confidence in your ability to tell stories. If you like, it formats your unconscious mind to become a hypnotic storyteller all by yourself. You can listen to this CD over and over again. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 369 You can do that right now if you like, or you can wait until you finish this program in order to listen to it, because we actually are going to include information from CDs 10, 11 and 12 inside of the nested loops that you will be hearing as well. It is entirely your choice. Track 14 Ex.1 Exercise 1 So the first exercise for nested loops that I have for you is actually very straightforward. Go back to CD 7 and the whole bunch of stories that you created there, and just choose three or four of them at random. They don't even have to have anything to do with each other. And I just want you to get used to the idea of just nesting them together. In other words, tell the first story until you get to the high point of almost completion, and break it, tell a second story. Break it; tell a third story. Break that, and if you have a fourth one, tell and break a fourth one. Then finish off the fourth story, third story, second story, and first story. Then I actually want you to do it with people in a normal conversation. It is almost like you are telling them about the time you went skiing and then rollerblading, and then about the trouble at work and about the tramp that you met on the way back from work the other day. And it sounds like a normal conversation at that point. And that is exactly what you are going to do; make these stories sound like part of a normal conversation. Don't concern yourself about putting anything hypnotic into it just yet. Just make it a natural flowing story. The key thing is that you break each story before you have completed it, before you have delivered the real punch line. And then you close them off again in reverse order: story four, story three, story two, then story one. You have a complete piece. If you want to hear a master of this in action, go and get some videotapes or DVDs from standup comedians. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 370 Most standup comedians are storytellers rather than gag tellers. They don't tell jokes; they tell stories that happen to be amusing. So listen to the way they tell those stories. Very often they follow a nested loop kind of structure, which is part of what makes them so enchanting. Track 15 Ex.2 Exercise 2 The next exercise will take what you did in the previous exercise and polish it. So now that you have your three or four stories I want you to start tweaking them to make them increasingly more hypnotic. So how do you do that? Remember you just put in the language and then you put in the hypnotic elements and the tonality and things like that. You don’t have to do anything more than play with the language and the tonality to make them more hypnotic. Again, because this is a performance art, once you’ve done that, get used to telling people these stories like you’re telling them an enchanted tale or adventure of something that’s happened to you. Get used to performing stories to other people because that’s the only place where they really come alive. Track 16 Ex.3 Exercise 3 The next exercise is really just a series of exercises. Now that you can tell basic nested loops, you can create them, you can tell them and you can make them hypnotic, now you have all the building blocks that you need to follow the loop structure that we’ve talked about, from a basic loop to an intermediate loop to an advanced loop to a master level loop. Just go through those four processes as we’ve discussed, adding layer after layer after layer, refining the stories. Remember, the stories that you tell become better the more that you tell them, not because you memorize a specific sequence; please get away from that. All you’re going to do is you’re going to remember the high points, the points you’re trying to reach, and you’re going to retell it each time. And each time it will be new. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 371 Different nuances, sometimes shorter, sometimes longer, so you get used to the feel of the story and make that a natural part of who you are, because now you have the power of nested loops within your conversational range. Tell lots of these things. Once you get good at one set of loops, create a new set of loops, and a new set of loops, and a new set of loops, so you have a whole range of loops ready for you to draw on whenever you should need it. The more loops you have, the more you have available to you when it comes to creating spontaneous loops, spontaneous conversational hypnosis material. Above all else, enjoy what you’re doing. This is a performance art, which means that the more you enjoy it, the more that enthusiasm comes through, the more that other people will enjoy what you’re doing, as well. Track 17 End of CD9 So we’ve come to the end of this CD. On the next CD, CD 10 entitled “Advanced Frame Control: How to Lead Any Interaction,” you’ll discover the power of frames and how they shape the meaning of any interaction. You’ll find four powerful tactics in order to control the frames and thereby be able to lead any interaction in whatever direction you want. Finally, you’ll also learn how to deal with challenges, how to maintain your frame despite someone trying to take it away from you or challenging the reality that you’re creating. It’s a very powerful way of maintaining the direction of any conversation and the meaning people take from it. Now before you go on to CD 10, remember you have the special Bonus CD entitled “Conversational Hypnosis in Action: The Super Hypnotic Storyteller Induction.” This is a very powerful, one hour long conversational induction using nothing but stories, so you can see everything that we’ve just done in action. You can experience it for yourself. You can listen to that straightaway if you like, or you can wait till the end of the program, seeing as how it will include some of the material you will learn on CDs 10, 11, and 12. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 372 Of course, you can do both. Listen to it now and then come back to CDs 10 and 11 and 12, then go back and listen to the CD again and see what other things you can pick up from it. We’ve also included an additional bonus for you called “Top Secret: Breaking the Hypnotic Storyteller’s Code.” In that, we’ve broken down all the stories inside the Hypnotic Storyteller Induction so that you can really see how they work and get put together. It pulls up the language, the stories, all the different things that we’ve talked about. Now before you listen to “Breaking the Hypnotic Storyteller’s Code”, please make sure you finish the home study program first because we will be addressing all kinds of other information that you’ll be learning on CDs 10, 11, and 12 as part of the breakdown. So once you’ve listened to the entire series, then go back to the additional bonus called “Top Secret: Breaking the Hypnotic Storyteller’s Code,” which will allow you to break down and analyze all the nuances within the Hypnotic Storyteller Induction that I have presented for you. I hope that you enjoy this as well as all the other CDs remaining in this home study program. Until we speak again, just enjoy learning Conversational Hypnosis. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 373 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS BONUS CD3 Conversational Hypnosis In Action: The Super Hypnotic Storyteller Track 1 Welcome Welcome to this bonus CD of the Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Program. On this CD entitled “Conversational Hypnosis in Action: the Super Hypnotic Storyteller Induction,” you're going to find a prime example of all the things that we’ve been talking about so far. We’re going to have a one-hour long set of nested loops which will induce a trance and we will create all kinds of internal changes so you can experience conversational hypnosis in action for yourself. As a bonus, one of the things that you will experience is that you’ll be changing inside to become more of a hypnotic storytelling yourself. So while you're learning about becoming a hypnotic storyteller you’ll actually become more of a hypnotic storyteller, because the very stories that you listen to will make those changes inside yourself. Now, bear in mind that this recording is deeply hypnotic so if you are driving a car or operating any kind of machinery, do not listen to any part of this recording until you stop whatever you are doing so you can put your full attention safely on the following hypnotic storyteller induction. So as soon as you are consciously ready for some unconscious learnings, just sit back relax and enjoy learning conversational hypnosis. Track 2 Pre-frame & Capture Attention 1. Now, if you’re anything like me – especially the way I was when I was in the same situation as you – then you’re probably wondering how you can master conversational hypnosis. Because you’d really want to learn how you can use these skills to influence others ethically so that everyone can end up having a richer and more rewarding life… © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 374 Story Loop 1 – First Hypnosis Attempt 2. And you might be thinking about the future, about using these skills, and feel a little daunted… well the first time I tried to use hypnosis I was terrible. I tried to learn it from a book, and because my signal recognition was not as good as yours, I hypnotised my first subject perfectly and then ruined it by feeling insecure. I thought I had messed things up, because I was looking for something different than what I found. So even though I found something real, I didn’t realise it then and started to get more insecure! Bypass Conscious Mind 3. And everyone wants to move from insecurity to being in security… because when you’re in security and really feeling that… secure… your mind is open to learning things exquisitely, because your conscious mind is no longer interfering with an unconscious process. And it took me a long time to figure that part out. Whereas you can learn from my mistakes and should you ever feel insecure about your skills in the future you can just go ahead right into a trance and let your other mind secure the learnings you need to master conversational hypnosis. 4. Now I’m not sure what the best place is to begin to master conversational hypnosis – looking back I don’t even know how I did it myself – though I do know how to learn it thoroughly. And whether learning something thoroughly means you have mastered it or whether mastering something means you have thoroughly learned that there is always more to learn… inside… and deeper… far, far deeper than the mere technical details… so that the mastery of a subject becomes as sophisticated and fun as following a simple story. So where better to begin to look at how to master this art than at the way that someone might learn to tell a story? Story Loop 2 – Jongleurs (Improvisational Theatre) 5. And I learned how to tell a story by going to improvisational theatre. For those of you that don’t know it, as the name suggests, in improv all the actors have to come unprepared. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 375 You cannot rehearse anything because you won’t know what the scene will be until you get there. Then, when the action begins, you have to make it all up – right there on the spot! So there I am on my first day. I speak to the person on my right and find out she’s a professional actor. She’s so good she’s even been in a TV series. I turn to the person on my left and discover he’s been doing improv so long he even has his own show. So there I am left right in the middle feeling that I stick right out like two left feet! 6. Then our teacher comes out and asks us to follow him inside… the theatre. It’s a place called Jongleurs… very famous for comedy in London… and we go inside. It’s a little darker inside and we have to blink our eyes. And the first thing we see… inside… the theatre… is a stage, all lit up. I realise that this is where we’ll be doing all our work together. 7. Our teacher begins to speak. He says “welcome to the theatre of your unconscious… on this stage you’ll observe people doing things that you don’t need to imagine right now. “More importantly, you’ll also make your way onto the stage eventually to experience the unlimited creativity… of your unconscious… mind. “For those of you who are nervous… just relax… take it easy… your unconscious mind knows what to do. Remember: every night you sleep… and dream… and you don’t have to plan your dreams – do you? “You just relax… take it easy… and let your unconscious do the work… for a change… so the dreams come fresh and new every night. In fact, the more you relax, the easier you dream… “You could learn from your dreams you know… just relax… take it easy… and learn to trust the unlimited creativity that lies inside… your unconscious… will always have something fresh and new to say or do… if only you knew! How easy this will be, I think you’d agree… just wait and see!... the wonders you will find… in this the theatre of your unconscious mind!” 8. So I decided to really relax… and take it easy… “enjoy the show… especially when you’re in it” said the teacher as we began…to learn… really learn… about the ancient… and noble art of storytelling… © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 376 Story Loop 3 – The Storyteller 9. You should know that storytelling existed a long, long time ago. In countries both near and far, far away… in fact wherever people lived, lived the art of storytelling. This was true even a long time before the art of story-writing was born a young man that loved the sound of stories. If they had had radios in that days [daze], he would have listened with fascination to the words of the story that seemingly came from thin air. As it was, he was content to listen and learn from the old storytellers inside the market square. 10. Every day the little boy would wake up a little and at some time during his normal waking days he would go inside the market square and dream as he listened to the old wise men and women tell their stories for the other mind. And there the people would gather to listen with the little boy… inside… the market square… and sometimes there was a mother with her baby… fast asleep, sometimes it was a farmer with his precious ewe [you] listening intently. And the mother loved the story about the little boy that would become a prince, whilst the farmer preferred the story of the golden ram and a wiser ewe. 11. The little boy found that funny how there could be a double ewe: the ewe in the story and the ewe that listens with wrapped attention to the story about a wiser ewe. And could that farmer’s ewe [you] really understand the true meaning of this story? The little boy often wondered about that. As little boys tend to do, he wondered about a lot of things – like how he could become like the old, wise storytellers. 12. He knew how to become old: that was just a matter of time and patience. And being so young he had plenty of time to be patient, so that growing older posed no real problems at all for him. He was unusual in that way. Becoming wise was also simple: he just had to listen to the story about a wiser ewe. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 377 And because he knew how to listen… really listen… the little boy knew the difference between what the story said and what it really meant. Story Loop 4 – The Golden Ram and the Wiser Ewe (You!) 13. There was a time when all rams had straight horns. They were not always bent and twisted. One day the ram and his sister, the ewe, were in a field. The ram complained about how plain and shaggy he looked. He said “I wish I was as elegant as a gazelle or as beautiful as a peacock… then all would look and admire me.” The ewe kept silent, because she did not wish such things. 14. One day they came across a woman with great magic. And the ram said to his sister, the silent ewe, “I will talk to the great lady and see if I can get her to grant my wish.” 15. So he ran up to the woman and started to plead with her. The woman took pity on the ram and asked him how he would like to look. The ram thought for a while and said “I would like to be admired by the people in the town. I have seen how they love the precious gold, so I wish to be a golden ram – so that all might look with great admiration at my beautiful coat.” 16. The wise woman looked at the ram with sad eyes and asked, “are you sure that this is what you want?” 17. The ram was sure. So she changed him into a strong and noble looking golden ram. His wool was of the finest gold and his horns where of the purest gold – he shone like jewel on the mountainside. 18. Then the lady turned to the quiet ewe [you] and asked “little sister, what is it that your heart desires? What do you want for yourself?” 19. The quiet ewe thought silently. 20. “Would you like to look like your brother?” 21. The silent ewe shook her head and said “Great lady, I do not wish it. All I want is for me and my brother to be happy!” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 378 22. The woman looked at the ewe and said “You are wise, far wiser than your brother. I would not turn your coat to gold, because your heart already is! But I will grant you one more gift. When you are ready for your wish, just call my name and you shall have it!” 23. With that she disappeared. The golden ram was so happy, he could not wait to run down to the town and have everyone stare admiringly at his new coat. The wise ewe however said, “Don’t do it… stay here in the mountains where we are free. I don’t trust the town!” 24. But the ram was stubborn. So they went to the town. And, oh what a reception they had! People admired the ram and his wonderful coat. But the wise ewe could see the greed behind their fine words. 25. That night, whilst they slept in the best stables the town could provide, the wise ewe woke to the sound of a fight. Men had come to capture her brother. They stuffed him in a sack and took him away. The wise ewe followed silently. She saw them lock the ram in a dirty pen. As day was coming, the wise ewe hid herself and waited. 26. The next evening she crawled into the pen where the golden ram was kept prisoner. He stood naked in his pen – the men had cut off his wonderful coat of golden wool to sell it on the market. The ram looked miserable. The wise ewe spoke to her brother “brother, why don’t you break out? You have those fine horns on your head, surely this wooden gate cannot keep you locked up!” 27. The ram looked miserable as he said “I have tried that already. But my horns are made of soft gold. They only bend when I charge the door. Oh how I wish I had not met that lady on the mountains!” 28. The wise ewe looked at her brother and saw that indeed his horns, that used to be so straight and proud, had bent and twisted from the impact. But she was a wise ewe, and whilst her brother moaned and complained, she focused inside and thought about what she should do. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 379 Inter-Loop Suggestions 1 – Direct Suggestions 29. When you stop and think about it nobody knows his own capacities. The unconscious mind is brilliant, but we don’t always listen. Every person has abilities not known to the self – their conscious selves – abilities that can be expressed in trance… memories, thoughts, feelings, sensations completely or partially forgotten by the conscious mind. Yet they are available to the unconscious mind and can be experienced within trance now or later whenever the unconscious is ready. And that is something that you need to teach the people, when the appropriate time comes to respond with a certain behaviour. And you can do so without knowing consciously what that behaviour will be. 30. The unconscious mind is smarter, wiser and quicker. It understands better and can find the appropriate behaviours. One reason for this is that the unconscious mind has fewer constraints. It is childlike and free. How many of us appreciate the childishness of the unconscious mind? Because the unconscious mind is decidedly simple, unaffected, straightforward and honest. It hasn’t got all this façade, this veneer that we call adult culture. It’s rather simple and childlike. When you are in trance you think like a child and reach for childlike understandings: simple and free. 31. In the course of living, from infancy on, you acquired knowledge, but you could not keep all that knowledge in the foreground of your mind. In the development of the human being, learnings in the unconscious became available in any time of need. When you need to feel comfort you can feel comfort. The potentials within a person can restore well-being! And we should be willing to feel, fully, the pleasures and happiness that we want, as all our feelings are done by ourselves. Because life isn’t something that you can give an answer to today. You should enjoy the process of waiting, the process of becoming what you are. There is nothing more delightful than planting flower seeds and not knowing what kind of flowers are going to come up! © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 380 Close Loop 4 – The Ram and The Wiser Ewe (You!) 32. So the wiser ewe called to the great lady and said “I wish that my brother had a second chance!” She was wise in this because she knew that she could not wish her brothers troubles away herself! 33. The ram heard her and, in a flash, understood he had one more chance. Instantly he wished: “I wish I had made the same wish as my sister and was happy instead of golden!” 34. As soon as he had made his wish, the ram began to transform. His wool started to grow back, but not with fine golden threads. This time it was thick and white. And his horns transformed as well. They changed their colour as the gold fell away. But they remained twisted and turned as before. 35. The ram felt the changes take hold of him and with a burst of joy broke through the gates. Then he and his sister, the wise ewe, ran back into the mountains where they remained happy and free. 36. This is why rams have horns that are twisted and turned. And now you know: when you have a big decision to make, you should always take time to just stop… and listen to the wiser ewe! Interim Loop 3 – The Storyteller 37. And so the boy grew older and wiser in equal proportions. But he didn’t know how to tell stories! Yet… he really wanted to. So he went inside… the market square… up to the wise old man at one end of the market square and asked: “Old Man! I want to learn to tell the stories like you do. But whilst I can borrow the stories I heard from you for a while, I don’t know where to find any new ones!” 38. The old man listened intently and, with a little gleam inside his eyes, he asked “Have you checked by the river?” And the boy said that he had. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 381 So the old man, smiled openly and asked “But did you look on the mountain?” And the boy assured him that he had. “What about at home, did you check the kitchen and the fields your father works in?” laughed the old man. Frustrated, the boy said he had looked everywhere his legs could carry him and his eyes could see. 39. So the old man went silent for a while. Then he said… Story Loop 5 – Martha’s Attic 40. “That reminds me of a story… Do you see that field out there, and the house behind it? The hedges that need pruning… Well that house belongs to my friend Martha… Some time ago now I went to visit Martha. She invited me down – told me she had some important news to tell me. Some important changes were coming and she wanted me to know… So I left this place and went all the way down to her home… the place she had always lived in… was surrounded by hedges… “need some pruning…” I thought… as I knocked on her door. There was no answer… so I knocked again… all was quiet inside… very still… so I let myself in… 41. And there was Martha… sitting in the kitchen… on a rocking chair… looking intently out of the window… peaceful… she had the look of concentration on her face… quiet…. Calm… And she was thinking important thoughts… the old storyteller said “hello Martha… I have come as you asked me to”… “Hello…” she said “so glad you could come… I have some important news to tell you… important changes… but I was thinking… the seasons are changing… look at that field… the wheat is golden… time to reap the harvest… get rewarded for all that work… and the summer is over… can you feel it? 42. “… and look down there… at the children playing… they’re coats are on… nice and warm… the winter is coming! I still remember them playing in the snow… building snow men… having snow fights… even built and igloo… © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 382 with their little mittens… And each summer… the wheat and the corn would grow so tall…so many memories… what a harvest!” 43. Martha fell silent again… her emotions were deep… as her mind remembered… all those memories… from the past… so many pleasant experiences… to be recalled… She said “when was the last time you sat down and remembered… really remembered… the past… or thought of the future… where you have been… where you are going… the people in your life… the pleasant experiences… sitting by the stove… drinking mulled wine at Christmas… laughing together… outside it would snow… or a rainy storm… safe and dry in here… nice and warm… cosy… do you see that table… remember all the meals we had around it? My birthday… the graduation… Christmas… thanksgiving… the children with their messy plates… and the games we played… and finger-painting… baking cookies and cakes… I can still smell them… all made at that table! And the fireplace… it’s older than I am! So many fond memories… staring at the fire… warm glow… toasting marshmallows… or simply thinking! 44. “Come out with me, I want to show you something…” And the storyteller followed her outside… he noticed the hedges… they needed pruning… “Can you smell the freshness of the air… the cool breeze – not too cold… nature is here… its beautiful… when is the last time you looked at nature… I mean really looked… that tree… the birds circling it… listen to them! So much beauty here… see those roses by the fence… I planted them myself to remind myself… always take time to smell the roses… its important… and do you see that fence… remember building it with me?... “So much effort… honest work good clean effort… its so rewarding… just looking at that fence… knowing I built it!... Its so real… worth being proud of… and the tree-house the children built… a place for their imagination… a safe place of their own… they built it all alone… I am so proud! Inter-Loop Suggestions 2 – Parallel Process 45. “Lets go back inside…” they went back… past the hedges that needed pruning… inside… the house felt warm and cosy… “I have something important to tell you…” The storyteller waited patiently… “Its time for a change… I need to move on… a new home…” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 383 The storyteller nodded wisely… “Do you want some help with moving on?...” he asked… Martha nodded yes. “Do you have a loft or an attic… some place were you store all your old things… I bet you haven’t cleaned it out… maybe it’s been a long time… I have a suggestion… it’s only a suggestion… so think it over first: go to the place you stored everything… your memories… those odds and ends you didn’t know what to do with… take your time to look through it all… remember their purpose… sort through everything… “Then make three piles… keep them separate… the largest pile is for all the rubbish… all the junk you really don’t want anymore… maybe someone else gave it to you… maybe it’s too old… maybe it’s broken… no need to keep it anymore… just rubbish… put it in a pile… take it out… put it outside… before you go to sleep tonight… the trash men will take it away… over night… whilst you are sleeping… they will take it away for you… that’s their job… don’t waste another thought on it… they’re very efficient… when you wake up tomorrow… it will all be gone… just the fresh smell of roses… 46. “The second pile will be smaller… it’s for all the things you no longer need and want to give away… let other people enjoy this stuff… it was good stuff once… but you don’t need it anymore… you’ve outgrown it… give it to charity… donate it… make it a gift to your friends… let others have joy in it… you don’t need it anymore… 47. “The third pile is the smallest… these are the things you will keep… the things you want to take with you… when you move on… make you more comfortable… only take what you really need… keep it small… lighten your load… easier to travel that way… takes a weight off your shoulders… no burdens… much simpler that way… if you need more later… you can always go inside a shop… they’re open 24 hours you know… just go inside… and get what you need… anytime… day or night… whenever you need something, it will be there… so much easier that way…” 48. With that Martha was ready… she went upstairs… to do what needed to be done… closed the door behind her… whilst the storyteller remained in the kitchen… nice and warm… thinking thoughts… sometimes looking out the window… sometimes remembering things… sometimes his thoughts travelled… sometimes he was just very peaceful… From time to time… noises would come from inside… the attic… odd movements… unusual sounds… things were being moved around… rearranged… the storyteller smiled… and waited for Martha to finish her job… you could always rely on her doing a good job… very thorough! © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 384 49. In time Martha opened the door… came downstairs… “All done!” she said… The storyteller smiled…she looked so much younger… she was ready! 50. “Only one last thing to do” he told her… “time to say goodbye… everyone says goodbye differently… some smile… some cry… some give a goodbye kiss… some say farewell… or adieu… or ciao… or adios… so many ways to say goodbye… and before you say goodbye to the house… you need to say goodbye to the three piles you made… “Just look at each one… and one by one say goodbye… then say goodbye to the attic and the attic door… look at the fields of wheat… and say goodbye… say goodbye to the children… with the nice, warm coats… just say goodbye… say goodbye to the snowmen they will build and the igloos… just say goodbye… say goodbye to the kitchen… all the meals and celebrations… the cookies and the cakes… just say goodbye… say goodbye to the fireplace and the marshmallows… go outside and say goodbye to the roses and the fence you built… just say goodbye… say goodbye to the tree-house and all those imaginings… say goodbye to the hedge that still needs pruning… just say goodbye… Close Loop 5 – Martha 51. Martha had said goodbye to everything that was keeping her there… the time had come… time to move on… The storyteller hugged Martha and they said goodbye… 52. “A year or so later I saw Martha again…” said the storyteller… “we walked past the old house… as we passed by she said “Their hedges need pruning… they really should cut their hedges soon!”… And that’s when I knew that Martha had really moved on…they weren’t her hedges anymore… they were their hedges!” Close Loop 3 – The Storyteller 53. “And what ever became of those piles do you think?” asked the storyteller. 54. The boy shrugged… feeling curious. 55. “Sure enough the first pile… all that rubbish… just disappeared overnight… the trash men were very efficient… but the second pile… that was just wonderful… “Martha spent the next year just giving it all away… she turned all those old memories into gifts… that other people still cherish… and it doesn’t matter one bit that they were Martha’s old memories… they still cherish © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 385 them as something new…something unique… because nobody has memories quite like Martha has…” 56. Then the storyteller looked straight at the boy… with a little gleam in his eyes and he said… “that second pile… that is where you will find all your stories… give them away… they are your gifts… they are not old things… they are unique!” 57. The little boy listened intently… then bit by bit… a little gleam started to sparkle in his eyes… the old man saw this… he smiled and nodded… without a word he stood up and walked away… Close Loop 2 – Jongleurs (Improvisational Theatre) 58. We told so many stories… up on that stage… the theatre of the mind… and it really didn’t matter that the others were trained actors… and I was not… because we all have an unconscious mind… that takes delight it hearing stories… and telling stories… any excuse… it’s such a pleasure… There really is nothing quite like telling stories… for reaching out to other people… connecting… and learning to trust your unconscious mind… the theatre of the mind… can enchant… and mesmerise… and delight… and move people… its easy… when you just relax… take it easy… trust your unconscious…it’s a wiser you… I learned that… whenever you need something… it will be there… just go inside… if you start trying to hard… or feel a little anxious… just say goodbye… take a deep breath… like you’re smelling the roses… always take time to smell the roses… and just relax… take it easy… and you will reap an amazing harvest. Close Loop 1 – Hypnosis Attempts 59. It took me a while to learn how to just relax and take it easy… and even though my first attempts at doing hypnosis seemed to go so wrong… they were the stepping stones for what I can do now… the insecurity became the door that lead in to security and then something wonderful happened. I figured out how to take hypnosis to the next level. Because I learned to just relax and listen to my unconscious mind, this wiser you, I discovered the secrets that we have been talking about: the secrets of conversational hypnosis. It was a real wake up call for me, I can tell you! © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 386 End Hypnotic Trance 60. Now I would love to take credit for all that, because I still wake up every morning and feel fantastic… all over … knowing that I have these skills… But it really wasn’t me that did all the work. It was my other mind that put everything together for me and closed the door on insecurity leaving be on the outside feeling fresh and excited about all the things that life has to offer. My only job now is to smell the roses and enjoy the harvest that my unconscious mind has given me! 61. And I don’t know if that makes me a master of conversational hypnosis. But it does make the whole endeavour thoroughly rewarding! 62. And I think you have been sitting there, listening to me, for long enough now. It doesn’t take a stretch of the imagination for you to take a deep breath, stand up and really enjoy stretching all those muscles that have been resting there patiently until now! Trigger Suggestions: Just relax, take it easy, trust your unconscious, it’s a wiser you [ewe], always take time to smell the roses, whenever you need something – it will be there, just say goodbye, Track 3 End of Bonus CD3 So welcome back to the land of the living. You’ve come to the end of this Bonus CD entitled “Conversational Hypnosis in Action – The Super Hypnotic Storyteller Induction.” Now that you’ve had an experience of it, you can go back to CDs 10, 11, and 12 and finish the home study program. Although there’s an additional CD called “Top Secret: Breaking the Hypnotic Storyteller Code,” please don’t listen to that CD until you’ve had a few days go by and at the very least had a chance to listen to CDs 10 and 11. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 387 That way some of the concepts there, which will be included on the bonus CD, will be more in your understanding. The best thing for you to do right now is for you to get up and do something completely different. Take your mind off things for a while so your unconscious has the freedom it needs in order to allow things to develop naturally. I look forward to speaking to you again on one of the other CDs on this home study program. So until then, enjoy learning conversational hypnosis. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 388 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD10 Advanced Frame Control: How To Irresistibly Lead Any Interaction Track 1 Welcome Welcome to CD 10, “Advanced Frame Control: How To Lead Any Interaction.” This is a very exciting CD because although you won’t be doing any hypnotic patterns themselves, you’ll be learning all about how to project a kind of reality that other people will find almost irresistible and collapse their way of thinking into, which means you can lead away people from any kind of resistance or inhibitions and make them want to do the kind of things you want them to do very naturally. Now the first thing we’ll look at is what is actually a frame? What does it mean and how can you recognize them in normal interactions. Then we’ll talk a bit about frame wars, the way that people will clash their realities and what determines which one of those realities will win. Next, we’ll look at some of the strategies you can use to dominate the frame so that your reality is always the one that wins this frame war. You’ll discover the power of preframing, reframing, and deframing; all kinds of different ways of dealing with challenges to your reality that other people might give to you. But above all else, we’ll look at how to maintain your frame, maintain your projection of your reality in such a clear, smooth, and totally profound way that other people will just naturally tend to collapse their reality into yours, and just want to live in the kind of world that you consider to be true. Finally, seeing as you’ll learn how to be creating that kind of profound reality anyway, we’re going to discuss a few possibilities, a few ideas for what kind of frame, what kind of realities you can step into, adopt for yourself, in order to make your life richer, more successful And you can improve the way you influence other people just by the way you enhance or enrich your own experience. So, as soon as you’re ready to learn all these things, just sit back, relax, and enjoy learning conversational hypnosis. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 389 Track 2 What is a frame? The first thing we need to look at is this idea of what is a frame. A frame is a frame of reference by which you understand other things. If you think about it, nothing that anyone says or does has any meaning by itself. It’s always in some context or other, and that context will color its meaning. I’ll give you an example of what I mean. You’re on the bus and you see a man with his children and the children are running riot, they’re going crazy all over the place. Suddenly, one of the passengers looks up and says to him, “You know, why don’t you take control of your children?” So the first frame is man, bad father and he hasn’t got control of his children. But then the man turns around and says to him, “Well, I’m very sorry but their mother just died today and I haven’t had the heart to tell these kids yet, and I’m just taking them over to their grandparents so they can look after them for a bit while I sort out what needs to happen.” Suddenly the passenger turns around and says, “Well, don’t worry. I’ll help out with the kids if I can.” Now think about that situation. You have a situation which has been turned completely on its head as soon as you had a little bit more information. So the power of frames is the power to control meaning of any particular interaction. The same interaction will mean two totally different things assuming that you change a frame around them, much like a picture can look right in one set of frames and totally wrong when placed in completely the wrong context. Let’s take another look at frames. Let’s say you’re standing at a set of traffic lights. The lights are red and you can’t go anywhere. Suddenly, you look in your rearview mirror and you hear a siren and an ambulance comes speeding past you and it goes right through the red lights. Now how do you feel at that point? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 390 If you’re like most other people you feel alright. The ambulance has to go somewhere, it has to do something. So you assume that it’s doing a good thing. Now let’s compare that, for example, to the example where: Right after the ambulance drives through the red lights a man in a red Ferrari drives right through the wake which is created by the ambulance and drives through the same red lights. Now you compare the two events. Both of the times it’s a vehicle overtaking you at a set of red lights and going through those red lights. But because of the assumptions you’ve made about those vehicles, your reaction changes from, “That’s okay,” through to, “Who does he think he is?” And to make that even more obvious, what if I told you that as the ambulance is speeding through, the back of the ambulance opens up and you see a whole bunch of students partying. They’ve obviously just stolen the ambulance and one of them goes as far as making a rude gesture at you. So now your perception of the ambulance has completely changed on its head. Likewise, if I told you the man in the car has actually got a woman sitting next to him, it’s his wife. She’s pregnant and she’s fallen down some stairs. Now he’s rushing her to the hospital to try and save the baby. Again, all the meanings have changed. The event has stayed the same, but all those meanings changed when your assumptions around what’s going on has changed. And that is the power of frames! Frames create a set of assumptions which are almost unquestioned, where people use those as a yardstick by which to measure everything else that’s said and done in that context. For example, for most people a police officer or a doctor are symbols of authority and of good, positive things. So when you measure things against the police officer, for example, someone is being rude and complains. If the person that he’s complaining about is a homeless person, or the person he’s complaining about is a police officer, your experience of that complaint will be completely different. The way you will evaluate it will be completely different. So, for example, taking a very common institution that people have very mixed feelings about; let’s take the church, particularly the Roman Catholic Church. And this is because a lot of people have very strong polar views of it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 391 Some people will tell you that the Catholic Church is an institution of pure evil and only bad things come from it. Other people will tell you that’s the Holy Church and only good things can come from it even though, because it is a large institution, mistakes can be made from time to time. Now this is important. The truth of the matter is probably somewhere in between, but the truth is irrelevant because whatever the church does based on whether you have the perception that it’s a holy and good place or an evil and bad place, all its behaviors will be reevaluated in accordance with that yardstick. So a church goes in and does some good deeds somewhere. The person who thinks it’s an evil institution will turn around and say, “This is just another proof how evil they are because they’re manipulating everyone to try to like them so they can then start poisoning them with their own ideas.” Of course, the people who think that the church is a good place will turn around and say, “Well, this is an example of just how good the church is because of all the good things it’s doing.” Regardless of what your own perceptions are of that particular institution, the important thing for you to realize is that whatever happens, there is a frame in action. And whatever that frame is will absolutely determine how people will evaluate whatever you do and whatever you say. So the power to control frames is really the power to lead any interaction. So this is what we’re going to be examining here. How do you create frames and how do you break other people’s frames? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 392 Track 3 Frame wars Now let me introduce you to this idea of frame wars. If frames control meanings, then people walk around with this idea of what the world is supposed to mean to them, like a little bubble of reality that’s around them. Whenever two or more people meet, their realities begin to clash. They have a frame war to find out whose reality will dominate. What will we actually believe as a group of people? So one of those frames of reference has to give way to the other. In practice one will influence the other to some greater degree or less degree, but one of them will always win out to a greater extent to another one. So this is called frame war because when two people meet you can almost see this. It’s like a territorial tussle going on about how we will look at the world. What’s going to be true between us? What’s going to happen? If you take the example of a salesman coming in to meet a new client, the client might roll his eyes up and go, “Oh, here we go again. Yet another salesman to tell me what I have to buy and what I can’t buy.” Now the salesman has an uphill struggle at that point because the client or potential client has put a whole new frame around the interaction. Now if a salesman is good, he might change a frame and say, “Today is your luckiest day because some wonderful things are going to happen.” So there are two competing frames: “Oh no, not another salesman, someone who’s going to try and tell me what to do with my money,” and the frame of, “This is an exciting day. Here’s a great opportunity.” If the client’s frame wins, he won’t be a client. He’ll get annoyed. He’ll take everything the salesman says as being some kind of snake-oil salesman or untrustworthy and he’ll refuse to buy. If the salesman’s frame wins, the chances are the customer will be enthused enough to want to buy something. So then the question is, how do you actually begin to change frames? We’re going to have a look at that in just one moment. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 393 Now from that example alone you can already see how when people try and resist you in some way or fight back at you in some way, resistance in this respect is the sign that someone has lost the frame war, and the frame that’s won out is not a beneficial one to either party. So one of the reasons why you want to win this frame war is because that way you can lead the interaction to a place which is useful for everyone concerned. If you don’t do that you simply take the risk that at the whim of the potential client or the person you’re talking to, if they’ve had a bad day for example, then that whim alone will color the whole interaction in a negative way and nothing useful gets achieved. So your job as a conversational hypnotist is to recognize the frames, find out when someone is testing the frame that you’re trying to present, and learn how to establish your frame so that you can create a genuine win-win for everyone. Frame Tests Now I want to emphasize something and that is that people will test your frames whether they do it consciously or unconsciously. It’s going to happen and it’s going to happen probably more than once. Typically what will happen is when you first meet someone there will be a lot of testing of each other’s frames just to find out who’s being genuine, how we’re going to look at the world, what yardstick will be used to judge this interaction by. Then, when one frame has won out, there tends to be a more easing off of the interaction. Everything goes more smoothly for a while because everyone knows what’s going on. For the most part, the frames will then stay relatively static until new elements are introduced; either a new person comes in; there’s a new experience that hits a particular threshold; or you do something out of character which begins to put everything else you’ve done into question. Now in the next track we’re going to look at the tactics for winning this frame war because when you do that you’ll have the power to lead any interaction into any direction that you want to. Track 4 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 394 Frame war tactics for success So how do you win the frame war? Well, there are four primary tactics: 1. 2. 3. 4. The first one is maintaining your frame. The second one is preframing. Then there’s reframing. And finally there’s deframing. Now let’s have a look at those very briefly and then we’ll take each one in turn and really drill down into the details of it. Frame War Tactic 1: Maintain Your Frame Maintaining your frame, as the name implies, is you simply maintain your own view of reality no matter what the objections happen to be. The way you can look at this (in the sense of a metaphor) is imagine that you are an arrow in flight and someone’s trying to knock you out of the way, but you keep going through; like a train moving on one track. No matter what people do to try and take you off that track, you remain solid and firm on that. This can be incredibly powerful because a lot of times people’s objections or their challenges to frames are more to test at an unconscious level how genuine you are. And if you remain totally genuine then they’ll go, “Well, I guess this must be the right way of things.” Frame War Tactic 2: Preframing A preframe, on the other hand, is a way to inoculate against objections coming up in the first place. In a preframe, you actually tell people in advance what they should be paying attention to so that by the time you actually get to the interaction they’re assuming that the frames you’ve set are actually correct. So very often maintaining your frame and preframing will go hand in hand because the frames you’ve set in advance, in other words preframed, will be the ones that if they do get challenged you’ll have to maintain by just pushing right through and assuming they are correct. Frame War Tactic 3: Reframing The next kind of frame is reframing. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 395 This is a typically therapeutic pattern where you take an objection and you handle it. In a reframe what you’re saying is essentially, “Don’t look at it this way; look at it that way.” The old cliché of every cloud has a silver lining has the essence of reframing embedded within in. Frame War Tactic 4: Deframing Finally, we come onto deframing. Deframing is very interesting because you actually turn the tables. Remember, when someone is challenging your frame there is actually a challenge going on much like a duel being offered. When you deframe, rather than parrying their blows, what you’ll be doing instead of running a pure defense is to run an offensive defense. In other words, get the other person on the defensive to justify their own frame, and then you’ll actually have them buy more into the frame that you want them to buy. If you want to have a simple metaphor that will remind you about which kind of framing or which kind of tactic means what: 1. The way I look at maintaining a frame, it’s a bit like a rock standing in the middle of the ocean. No matter what the ocean does or throws at it, the rock is always going to stay there, solid. 2. A preframe is very much like Goliath from the story of David and Goliath. It’s this huge, massive construct that people take one look at and go, “There’s no way I can challenge that.” 3. A reframe, on the other hand, is more like David from the story of David and Goliath. He’s the one that will see what the challenge is, it’ll step up to the plate, and he’ll confront it. 4. Finally, the deframe is very much like the Navy Seals. Rather than taking on something head on, what you’ll do is come in around the sides and around the backs and destroy the supply wagons or the munitions dumps while they’re too busy trying to fight the war on a different front. And by the time they realize what’s going on, of course, you’ve already won the battle. Track 5 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 396 How to use preframes So let’s start off by looking at the preframe. Remember, the preframe is the Goliath of the framing tactics. In a preframe, what you’re basically going to do is create some kind of assumption that looking at certain things are the important things to look at. Now because the mind can only handle seven plus or minus two bits of information. If you set a preframe elegantly in the beginning, then they’ll only evaluate the interaction according to those particular conditions. All the other ones will have been driven out of their heads by the way you’re directing people’s focus. The power of the preframe is that you crush objections before they can even formulate consciously, so that they never really arise properly. Let me give you an example of how a preframe works in action. Without looking outside your window right now, tell me how many cars, how many red cars are there in the street that you live on. Now you might be able to answer that just off the top of your head; you might not. If you can’t answer it off the top of your head, one of the things that will happen is as soon as you go to the window and look outside or step outside of your front door your mind will automatically begin to orient itself toward all the red cars because as soon as a question has been raised in your mind, you want to start answering it. And when you start answering questions about how many red cars are there, you probably won’t notice other things like how many rubbish bins are standing around, how many children are playing, how many bicycles are in the local area. Your reference point is cars; in particular, red cars. So preframes set the conditions right in advance that other people begin to evaluate things by. Is his house tall enough? Is his house far away enough? Is it expensive enough? Those kinds of things. I once heard a great stage hypnotist do a fantastic preframe at the beginning of his show. He said something along the following lines, © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 397 “You know, I do these shows a lot of times and people really have all kinds of wild misunderstandings about what the power of suggestion is and what it can do. “Now some of you will probably have a very accurate idea of what the power of suggestion actually means, and you guys will really enjoy this show because you’ll recognize all the things that I’m talking about. “Now, for the rest of you, you might find yourself being very surprised and in a delightful way discovering how many misconceptions you used to have and actually discovering what the real secrets of suggestions are and how they can apply to your life.” Now think very carefully about the preframe that this stage hypnotist just did. In essence, the frame he has set up is, “If you disagree with me, then you don’t understand the nature of suggestion, therefore, you’re wrong. If you agree with me, you understand the true nature of suggestion and, therefore, are right. “So whether you agree or disagree with me, either way I’m right and your opinion is either backing me up or it happens to be an invalid opinion.” Now that is a wonderful frame to set up because provided that people actually accept it, what will happen is they will automatically begin to ask themselves a different set of questions. The questions are not whether or not they believe you, whether or not you are good at what you do. The questions will be whether or not their understandings were correct. In other words, are they right or wrong? See, he completely reversed the normal frame of reference. Now the stage hypnotist no longer has to prove anything because it’s only up to the audience to decide whether or not they’ve learned something new or they actually knew that in advance anyway. Here’s another example of a preframe in action. Let’s say you’re a real estate agent and you’re selling property and that the house you’re going to show someone is not in the center of town but a little bit outside. Now one way to inoculate any objections that might happen regarding distance is to casually mention at the beginning something on the lines of, “I’m not sure I should show you this house. It is fantastic and a lot of people want it. The only trouble is it might be a little bit too close to town © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 398 for most people because a lot of people like to have the beautiful countryside and some suburbia, especially for children to grow up in.” Now the question becomes not, “Is this too far away?” but “Is this too close?” Of course, you already know in advance that it can’t be too close, but because you have effectively reversed the frame, people will now be judging it by a very different set of standards. Another way you might inoculate against the distance of the house is to take a completely different unit of measurement and get them to judge it by that. For example, assuming it’s a large house you might say to them, “Well, you know, I’m going to show you this house. It’s a beautiful house and you’ll love it instantly. The only problem is I don’t know if it’ll be large enough for you because I know you want to have a very large house.” Now, of course, they’ll go in with the anticipation of judging it, “Is this house large enough or not?” If the house is large enough in advance anyway, we know this for a fact, they’re going to come down on our side of the argument anyway. So we know that they’re fighting an argument at a point that we can’t lose at. However, by actually trying to make that value judgment about the size of the house, their minds are so caught up in that process that the question of distance really doesn’t occur to them anymore. And that is the real power of doing preframes. Track 6 How to establish a good frame Here’s a simple process you can go through in order to realize how to establish a frame. The first thing you will do is look at your outcome. What is it you want people to do? In this particular example I’ve been using so far, it’s to have someone buy a house. Now the next question to ask yourself is, “What would have to be true, 100% true, in the world in which that house is bought by that particular family?” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 399 Well, one of the things that would have to be true, for example, is that the house is desirable. If that house is desirable, then the chances are that these people will want it, too. Now what does a desirable house look like? Well, other families will want to have it too. Now here’s an interesting thing: Just because this property is now suddenly in a world, a reality, where it is a desirable property, it means that a property has to be more expensive because desirable properties are more expensive than undesirable properties. So you have already inoculated against a price objection purely based on the frame that everyone wants to have this place. If everyone wants to have this, assuming they buy into that frame, they may want it as well and the price is no longer a question. The question becomes more how do they afford it or how do they beat all the other competition, for example, by making a commitment sooner than everyone else. Now the power of this isn’t in you saying quite directly, “Oh, by the way, everyone wants to buy this property.” That’s too obvious and people will start analyzing and critically looking at that statement. The power of that frame comes from the sub-communications. In other words, what do you presuppose? What do you assume to be true, what are the stories you’re telling? What is the attitude you have? What state of mind are you or the sellers in themselves which back up this particular claim? I can’t emphasize this enough. These sub-communications are what create the frame. It’s what maintains a frame. When we look at maintaining a frame later on we’ll examine this idea even more fully. Let me give you a very visual example of what these sub-communications might look like. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 400 Let’s assume that you’re selling Ferraris, high performance sports cars. Everyone knows they’re going to be expensive. Now a person comes in, they love the car, they want to buy it, and, in fact, you have the last one in the showroom. They have to wait maybe another year before the next generation of Ferraris is made in the workshop. So this is a highly desirable car. Now let’s say you have someone here who wants to buy the car. And say he looks at you and says, “By the way, how many miles is it to the gallon?” You tell them and they look at you horrified saying, “Oh, that’s too expensive.” Now can you imagine the look of sheer disbelief that the car room salesperson would have if a client ever objected to the miles per gallon that you can get out of a Ferrari? The whole concept of buying a Ferrari doesn’t sit in a world where you budget for fuel. It just doesn’t exist. So for someone to be thinking in that way is the most bizarre thing imaginable. This is how you have to think about setting all your preframes. You create a world in which whatever objections someone else might have are so bizarre that it can’t even arise properly. And as you sub-communicate those in your body language and your expressions and the stories that you tell, then you actually begin to inoculate people and it prevents them from actually raising those objections themselves which, of course, makes it more likely that they’ll end up buying that car. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 401 Track 7 The power of reframing Next, let’s look at reframing. Now reframing comes from the therapeutic field in which you get clients to look at the world in a different way. Now reframing comes basically in two forms; what’s known as a context reframe and a meaning reframe. In a context reframe, you maintain the same behavior, the same situation. You just change the context to make it more valuable. In a meaning reframe, you simply change what the situation actually means. In other words, you say, “Don’t look at it this way. Look at it that way.” Context Reframes Let’s have a look at a context reframe for a moment. Let’s imagine someone’s looking at a sports car and they find out how many horsepower it has and then they look up and say, he might turn around and say something like, “I don’t know, that seems like too much power for me.” You ask him what he means by that and it turns out that he likes to have safe cars. The reframe becomes almost too simple at that point. You just point out that sometimes a good acceleration keeps you out of trouble more than a good ability to brake. So, for example, when you’re on a motorway and the car in front of you is acting up in a strange sort of way, being able to overtake it quickly and safely allows you to get through some potential problem area before any problems actually arise. So you now have taken the very quality, the idea of speed, which used to be a problem, and you’ve actually turned it into a major advantage. That’s the advantage of doing a context reframe. You’ve moved context to one where the power, the speed, becomes one of great value. Meaning Reframes In a meaning reframe, all you’re going to do is maintain the same situation. You’re just going to change what it actually means. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 402 Let’s take the example of two colleagues who have a conflict at work. You’re the manager and somehow you have to negotiate a resolution between them. One of them has the objection that the other one is always being terse or always being harsh or critical. So when you take the actual situation, harsh and critical language, there are all kinds of different meanings that you can draw from it. Perhaps the person somehow feels put under pressure themselves or attacked themselves, and the person is just putting in their attack, a counter-offensive, ahead of time to make sure they don’t get hurt. Perhaps the other person isn’t being critical for critical’s sake but because they want to actually make sure the project works out well and they’re just trying to anticipate any problems in the future. So notice, we’ve already got two different reframes; two different ways of looking at the same behavior as being something of a different character than whatever caused the problem in the first place. This is the exact situation that happens a lot of times when I’m doing my corporate coaching. In that situation, when you have conflict between, for example, members of a board of directors, a very simply way to resolve a conflict is to give everyone one of these personality tests like Myers Briggs or Belbin, et cetera. When the directors that are in conflict take these tests, invariably their personality profiles look very different. And suddenly you can actually explain away their disputes, not because one’s right or one’s wrong, one’s obstinate, et cetera, but because that different personalities look for different kinds of information and they are merely mis-communicating! So to take a conflict, and turn around and say, “Actually, guys, what you’re doing is giving each other the wrong kind of information which is creating this conflict.” It suddenly depotentiates the whole stress and tension within the situation because it’s no longer someone else physically attacking you or verbally attacking you. It’s now someone else responding to an inappropriate kind of communication. And, of course, if you change that suddenly everyone starts getting along again. So reframing is actually a very powerful way of handling objections or dealing with problems that people might throw at you. And remember, there are two very simple questions that you need to ask yourself in order to come up with an appropriate reframe. The question for a context reframe is simply, “In what situation, in what context, would this problem, would this behavior, actually be worthwhile having?” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 403 For a meaning reframe, the question you ask yourself is, “What else could this very same set of facts mean that’s actually more beneficial or more positive than the current interpretation that people are putting onto it?” Now both kinds of reframes are actually very healthy and very important because what you’re doing is taking someone who has a very limited view of the world, a very rigid way of saying, “Only this interpretation can possibly be correct,” and you’re enriching their model of the world, their ability to see the world in different ways. If you give people enough choices, one of those choices might actually be better than the kind of choices they’re stuck with inside their own heads. So your job is basically to give them enough choices of other positive interpretations so they can select one that actually makes them live a more happy, more fulfilling, and perhaps a more carefree life. So that’s the value of reframing. It expands and enriches people’s ability to enjoy the world. And, of course, it makes you more successful and influential as a human being, as well. Track 8 The secret art of deframing Let’s center our attention now at deframing. Deframing is almost a Jedi art of changing frames from someone because you’re not going to take the objection or the challenge head on. What you’re going to do is offer a counter-challenge which is more important than the original objection, and so the original objection just disappears. Let me give you a very elegant example of one of these things which happened during a pitch meeting when one of my partners and I went to a potential new client for some coaching work. Now the director of the board sat down and within two minutes of us introducing each other and having a chat, he turned around and asked us, “So, tell me. Why should I hire you guys?” Now his tone was a very challenging tone; very much a “come prove yourself to me” sort of tone, and without thinking about it one of my partners turned around and said to him, “Well, you know what? I guess we may have misunderstood things and you’re probably right. We probably shouldn’t do any work together,” and he got up preparing to leave. Now you should have seen the look on this director’s face. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 404 No one had ever offered to leave a negotiation table with him before. He’s always had the upper hand before, and suddenly is so secure in his bargaining position that he refuses to engage in a tit-for-tat game of justifying his existence and he’s willing to walk away. What has this person got? So remember, the sub-communication is that what we do is so valuable that if you don’t want it there will be plenty of people around who do. You won’t believe how quickly he called us back into that meeting and, yes, we ended up getting the commission and a whole lot more to boot, as well. So deframing allows you to turn frames around on people by challenging a completely different idea to the one they’re presenting in the first place. Some of the best deframes I’ve ever experienced are ones done almost in humor, where you tease someone else for the very question that they’ve asked you. Here’s another example of a deframe I saw between a couple of friends eating lunch in the park. One turned to the other and said to him, “Hey, that sandwich looks a bit rich. Are you sure you should be eating that?” So there’s a clear criticism involved. The other one just smiled and turned to him and said, “Hey, are you trying to steal my sandwich? No, you can’t have any of this.” So notice how he’s done this in a very playful sort of way and by doing this playful tease back, he’s actually basically turned around and said, “Your objection is really silly when you think about it.” But because he hasn’t said it outright, he’s just sub-communicated it, the other person backs off and lets that objection go. It’s a very natural way for people to do this. Here’s a word of warning, though: If you’re going to use deframes, if you’re going to use them in a humorous sort of way as in this example, make sure you do it genuinely and in a gentle and fun sort of way so you’re projecting a fun sort of vibe while you’re doing this. The chances that you can be perceived as being sarcastic or caustic are quite high otherwise, and all that’s going to do is damage your relationship. Also, deframes tend to be very, very powerful because they basically jolt people out of their own reality into a brand new reality. So the only way they’ll work is if you’re very congruent. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 405 In other words, you must believe in the value of the frame that you’re setting, and you must be able to present it in a strong and confident air. The other person will very quickly then collapse their reality into that. You must also be sure that this is a good thing for both you and the other person because if you start taking advantage of people, all that’s going to happen is you’ll make a very slippery slope down to spin doctors and soon you’ll be in the same category as political commentaries and door-to-door salespeople. So remember, deframes draw their power by not meeting a challenge head on, but by deflecting it and coming in from one side or the other. Here’s another example of what I mean by that. Let’s say that you’re a salesman in a car showroom and a person is trying to buy a car. He finds out the price and says, “Well, actually, you know what? I think that’s a bit too expensive for me.” Then, as a salesperson you turn around and deframe that by saying, “You know, I’m actually quite glad you said that because I always get quite nervous selling this model because people don’t quite realize just how much power they’re getting for their money. And to be honest with you, I’m not sure most people who buy in this price range actually know how to handle a car like this. “So even though my boss really makes me show this car to everyone, I have to admit I’m actually quite relieved when people go for something a bit more sedate; you know, something a bit smaller, something more safe and secure.” Notice how yet again this deframe has built into it a challenge. The challenge is “Are you man enough to drive this car?” Now, of course, you must make sure that the challenge embedded within the deframe is one that the person you’re talking to actually wants to rise up to. So if this is a family person, then perhaps, yeah, she actually wants a safer, secure car, which means a deframe wouldn’t work if placed in that particular way. If it’s a younger person, though, say a young man who wants a sports car to drive around town in, he’s more likely to rise to the bait because now you’ve taken away the price as a consideration. The question is, “Is he man enough to actually drive this car?” And, of course, you’re presenting this challenge in a way that is very subtle and very indirect. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 406 Track 9 How to maintain your frame in a challenging world So we’ve covered reframing, preframing, and deframing. Now we’re going to look at how to maintain your frame without doing any of these things because really that’s the most powerful way of maintaining your frame; where you don’t have to do anything in particular. It’s just about how you project yourself as a human being and the way you walk through the world. Maintaining your frame really sub-communicates in a very strong sort of way, “I’m very secure in who I am. I know what I am, and I know what I’m doing.” And because you’re very secure in that particular message, everyone else around you becomes very secure as well. The essence to the art of maintaining your frame naturally is the ability to just stay very firmly planted in your reality; to know what your truth is and to stay there. Now this leads to some very interesting outcomes. For example, there are two very important categories of people who have mastered the art of maintaining their frame without even thinking about it. These two categories are the person who’s passionate and the person who is slightly psychotic. Now these might seem very strange categories to have in here, but let’s look at what they do. Someone who’s psychotic is someone who basically lives in their own reality to such an extent that nothing that anyone else can say or do will actually shake him from his convictions, from his beliefs. This is why a lot of sort of psychotic personalities can be very, very charismatic. It’s because they tend to collapse everyone else’s realities around them into themselves unless people, of course, notice something strange is going on and disappear. So this is why cult leaders, for example, tend to have a slightly psychotic personality. It’s because they believe in what they’re doing so much even though it’s in a slightly strange universe, they believe in it so much that everyone else around them starts collapsing their realities, their frames, into the dominant frame as well. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 407 Now that’s the unhealthy way to do it. The healthy way to do it is to take a lesson from the passionate people in life, the visionary leaders. People who are passionate, people who are visionary leaders believe in that vision so much that the energy, the sheer enthusiasm carries them through all doubts, all challenges. And it’s almost like any doubt or challenge is looked at as, “How can this possibly be true?” They live so firmly planted in this new vision that nothing else can seem to get through to them. Now this is important because all they’re doing is projecting a very high level of congruence, that authority that says, “This is correct. This is the way that things are.” Now if you think about the difference, say, between a politician or a spin doctor or any kind of cheap, snake-oil salesman, the difference between them and the passionate, visionary leader is purely to do with where they’re coming from. In other words, their congruency isn’t there. Someone who’s a snake-oil salesman is leaking out, is sub-communicating that they do not believe in the very messages they’re giving to you. All the right words seem to be there, but because you don’t trust those words, the metaframe, the big frame set around all that is, “This person is trying to deceive me.” And yet, people who are passionate and visionary leaders have the opposite. All their sub-communications are telling you, “This is true. This is the way the world is, and if you join me you can live in this world as well.” And, of course, people find that immensely appealing and they will, over time, begin to allow their own realities to collapse into that. It’s how we manage to stay in a society. The way we stay sane or check that we’re still sane is to do something called reality testing which means we’re constantly sending out these little pings at other people to check that the way we look at the world is pretty much still in alignment with the way that everyone else does. That way, at least we know we’re still in a reasonable state of sanity and can live within the society. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 408 Now when we reality test, when we keep getting these pings back saying, “No, this is wrong. This is the way it is,” but they are very, very solid pings, it tells us at an unconscious level that we need to readjust our expectations of the world. That is how reality testing works. We take our cues from our environment to check whether or not things are still correct. So when we first meet a stranger, whatever their sub-communications are, we’ll actually take that to be at face value. So if someone is incongruent, it looks like they’re lying to you and the instant warning bells go off saying, “This person is a con man. Do not trust this person.” And this is true throughout the phases of trying to establish and maintain your frame. The thing that visionary leaders do, that people who are passionate about something do is they get so carried away by the emotion, by the vision that they’ve been inspired by that they forget to do anything but live in that reality, so that anything else to the contrary almost gets deleted out. Now when you’re constantly reality testing and the one and only constant in your reality test is a signal coming back saying, “This is real. This is real. This is real. This is real,” eventually through repetition and reinforcement it actually becomes real, and we will tend to collapse our reality into that; which means the most passionate and vivid frame has won. Now if you’re going to do this, make sure that you back things up with your own beliefs. In other words, you must believe in what you’re doing. If you don’t believe in it, why should anyone else do it? And if you’re going to believe in something, well make sure it’s worthwhile believing because ultimately this will affect you as much as the rest of the world. So this is going back to the very core principle of going first. If you believe in what you’re talking about in the frame that you set with absolute passion and conviction, there is nothing anyone else can do to rattle that cage and prevent it from happening. Now on the next track, we’re going to look at a couple of ways that you can handle challenges to your frame in such a way that it builds your own belief and other people’s belief in that frame that makes it more real for everyone. It’s something that you sub-communicate and something that, while at first it becomes a bit of pressure on you, over time you become so accustomed to it that you yourself become rock solid in your beliefs, in your convictions, and in the way that you project those through your frames. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 409 Track 10 Tactics for dealing with frame tests So how do you back up your frame in such a passionate way? How do you maintain your frame in the face of a challenge? Now one of the first things you have to realize is, the sooner someone challenges your frame you’re going to be put under an immense amount of internal pressure to somehow conform, and it’s when people give in to this internal pressure that they actually lose the whole battle for the frame. So the first thing I’ve got to do is recognize the pressure if and when it occurs, and then to know how to counter it, and more importantly, how to present your signals to the outside world in such a way that it doesn’t affect things. Now this is why your signals are so important. You see, one of the ways that we stay sane within a society is we’re constantly sending out these little pings to test whether or not things are actually still as we think they are. It’s called a reality test and it happens unconsciously. We’re kind of pinging constantly off other people to check that our beliefs and our perception of the world are still accurate. Now so long as those pings come back in a way that responds a “yes”, you’ll be okay. But when enough pings come back saying, “No, actually you’re incorrect,” you begin to doubt. You begin to have some kind of soul-searching as to whether or not you need to change your opinion. If this happens under pressure as well, as you do when you get social pressure, chances are for most people they’ll abandon their old frame of reference for the new one in order to be able to fit in with society. Now let me give you an example of this in action. It’s a very powerful example. A friend of mine used to be in the Special Forces and as one of the things they do when they go through selection, they have to go through a hunter/seeker sort of exercise where they get basically hunted by the rest of the army and they have to try and evade. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 410 Now invariably what happens is they get dropped off in some middle of nowhere with not even a pocketknife; with just a shirt on their back and some trousers and that’s about it. And they have to survive for a week to ten days on their own. Meanwhile, of course, they’re being hunted, so they have no food, they get no sleep, they’re constantly on the move, they’re tired. So this is already putting them under a tremendous amount of pressure. Eventually they get caught; everyone is caught eventually. And they get taken off to some secret interrogation center with a bag over their head. Now this is where it gets interesting. When they get to the center, they place each one of these interrogation victims inside a chamber. In this room, it looks like a normal prison cell, except that all the furniture has been nailed to the ceiling. The chairs have been nailed to the ceiling; the table’s been nailed to the ceiling. They’ve even put a cup of water which has been nailed onto the table which is on the ceiling. From the floor there’s a wire that comes up with a light bulb to make it look like that is the ceiling. So, of course, after 20 minutes, half an hour, people’s understanding of reality is so warped because they’re tired anyway, that they literally begin to try and climb the walls in order to sit on a chair that’s nailed to the ceiling. This is how much people’s grasp on reality can be influenced given the right conditions. And remember, these people have incredibly strong will-power; otherwise they wouldn’t have made it that far. So one of the secrets to maintaining your frame is to project these signals, to sub-communicate these signals that your frame is the only frame, that’s the only way the world can be real. And if you maintain that like a rock against the sea, eventually the tide will pull away and the only thing that will be left over is the rock that you created. So how do we do this in practice? When someone challenges your frame, the simplest thing to do is to really ignore it. Now I don’t mean ignore it in the sense that you kind of pause briefly, look at it, and then carry on talking. I mean ignore it in the sense that nothing ever even happened. It didn’t even exist in the world. I want to give you an example of what I mean by this. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 411 Recently I was out with some friends who are very high-ranking martial artists. We were in a hotel lobby having a little chat. And as it happens there were some children there playing and they were being very noisy and running around the place. So one of my friends turns to them in a very polite way and just asked them to calm down a little bit. Now the parents really weren’t happy about this. And suddenly we have two huge men standing in front of us trying to stare down at us, and it’s very obvious what they want. They’re trying to pick a fight. Now this is where our reaction was very unusual in that we gave no reaction at all. Now while internally we of course felt the pressure, the social pressure to somehow respond to this unspoken challenge that was being presented to us, what we did instead was we carried on talking. Our conversation was nice and light, our tone was very smooth as though nothing had happened. In fact, we pretended that we couldn’t even see these two people standing there. There were no quick, furtive glances at them. It’s as though they didn’t even exist. It was actually very interesting to notice their reaction. At first these two guys looked at us in a very impressive, in a very sort of angry kind of way. Within a few minutes they started losing their confidence. In fact, so much so that very soon they actually walked away as though nothing had happened. Now here’s the important thing. Why did that happen? Well, think about it. The reason they lost their nerve is because something happened that told them the reality they were projecting, the frame they were trying to set on the interaction doesn’t exist. It’s not valid. And because they’re not used to this idea of reality testing, or someone else sending a different signal to their reality test, they suddenly went into a reality in which that fight could not happen. In their minds they probably thought, “What do these people know? What can they do? Why are they not even vaguely impressed by what we’re doing?” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 412 And of course, that’s how they lost their nerve. But the interesting thing is the reason they could walk away with their heads still held high is because we never acknowledged the challenge which means they never had a challenge to withdraw, so they could actually withdraw while saving face, and a potentially dangerous situation was totally diffused. Frame Tactic 1: Do Not React Now if you go to the old school type of martial arts studios, a lot of them still practice a way of training this ability to be calm and totally impassive, totally nonreactive in the face of danger or some kind of challenge. The way they do this is as follows. You have all the students lined up. Then the instructor will come up one by one and he’ll shout at them, he’ll hurl abuse at them. He’ll stand face to face with them. He’ll even move suddenly as though he’s going to hit someone. And all these things are designed to put someone under pressure and get them to unconsciously respond with some kind of reaction. It could be a nervous twitch. It could be to break eye contact. It could be to change their breathing, shift their weight; any reaction in some level subcommunicates that the challenge has been perceived and acknowledged, and thereby, you’ve actually empowered that action. To be able to be totally impassive means to be there and not even see the person, not even take the action seriously. It just doesn’t exist. Imagine a little five-year-old child trying to stare you out as you’re talking to a friend. Now while you talk to this friend, of course, you have an important discussion, so you don’t even notice, you don’t even acknowledge that five-year-old child and his petty behavior. That is what ignoring a challenge to your frame should feel like. You’re totally ignoring it like it doesn’t even exist. Frame Tactic 2: Give Them “The Look” Now if for whatever reason they persist in their challenge, the next thing you can do is just give them a look, a very non-verbal look like, “What are you doing? You’re behaving in a really odd way. This is really not normal.” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 413 So you do these things not by saying them out loud, because that has very little power in it. You sub-communicate that by the way you look, by the facial expression you have, the way you pause and look perplexed. Think back to the example of the Ferrari salesman who suddenly gets a challenge about how many miles to the gallon this car can do. He’s going to look at him perplexed like it’s an odd question. Why would anyone ask that question? It’s a weird question! And the very weirdness of it, that sub-communication of that makes people collapse their reality because it puts them under social pressure to conform, to be normal, to be normally adjusted human beings. So again, it adds a bit more impetus to your reality in which questions like the one that have been raised or challenges like the ones that have been given just simply aren’t expected; they’re just simply not normal. Frame Tactic 3: Handle The Genuine Objection Finally, if the person continues to persist with the challenge, you can assume that this challenge isn’t the casual challenge to your frame, it’s actually a genuine challenge. So in other words, there’s a genuine objection in there that has the need to be handled, in which case just go ahead and handle it. Just reframe it. Or, if it’s important enough, deframe it. You have those skills as well. But the important thing you should realize is, before you go anywhere near those tools, the easiest way to deal with objections is just to maintain your frame in such a strong way that people just assume that’s the natural way of the world. Track 11 Some useful frames to live by Now I want to run a couple of frames by you which you can start thinking about and really making part of your own. Now the only value of these frames isn’t really in the ideas or the concepts behind them. The only value in them is when you spend your time to think about © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 414 what they actually mean and choose to adopt one way of looking at the world over another. If you do that consistently and with real effort, in other words you begin to believe in these frames, they’ll actually begin to change not just the way you feel, but actually the way that the world responds to you. You’ll start sub-communicating them to the outside world and people respond to you in different ways. Abundance v Scarcity Frame The first frame of reference that I want you to play with is the idea of abundance versus scarcity. Someone who’s stuck in the scarcity model of the world is someone who thinks there’s not enough of things around there. So as an example, it might be someone who is in a desert and is dying of thirst. That person will lie, cheat, or steal to do whatever it takes in order to preserve just a tiny puddle of water. Of course, someone who’s in an abundance world – where there’s plenty of water – will never stoop that low. They have their dignity up higher and as a result, because they’re projecting that these things are possible, other people respond to them in a different way. Someone who lies, cheats, and steals is sub-communicating at some level that this is the kind of world he lives in. And because that’s the kind of world he lives in and unconsciously he accepts that as being true, he’s more likely to be lied to, more likely to be cheated, or stolen from. How you perceive the world, what you project into the world is also the way that the world will tend to treat you. This is where the idea that like attracts like comes from. Now personally, I quite like the idea of attracting abundance, people who want to give me nice things because that’s the kind of world I want to live in. And that is just a question of making the right choice and projecting the right kinds of signals so that those kinds of people feel comfortable in your presence and want to hang out with you. Then, of course, they’ll want to be doing stuff with you as well. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 415 Cause v Effect Frame Another very powerful frame has to do with cause versus effect. In other words, who has control over your world? A lot of people give their control away. They decide that if only the world were different, if only Uncle Joe was different, if only Aunt Marjorie hadn’t bullied him when he was young, if only someone else will change then everything would be okay again. Now these people have given their power away because no matter what happens in life, they can’t do anything about it because it’s outside of their control. The opposite side of that frame is the one where you’re at cause, where you choose that to take responsibility for things that happen to you in your life. People who are at cause turn around and say to themselves, “Okay, this has just happened. I don’t like it. What can I do about this?” So rather than being busy blaming the rest of the world, they’re busy finding out ways to resolve the problems that they face everyday because when it comes down to it, a lot of the problems that we might encounter are actually quite random. It’s just random coincidences happening. And if those random coincidences are happening to you or anyone else, it’s up to you to do something about them because it’s very unlikely that a random coincidence will come along to solve the problem that random chance threw into your way in the first place. So start taking control of your life and choose to take a responsibility to things that happen to you. And as a result, you’ll start seeing a lot more of the results that you want to see in life. The last frame I want to leave with you is one to do with yourself in a very personal sort of way. Can you begin to believe that you’re the kind of people that other people look up to, that other people want to hang around with just because they enjoy their vibe, their energy, their enthusiasm, or whatever that may be? There’s actually a very interesting and quirky sort of spiritual guru called Stuart Wilde whose theory about making money is very simple. He says that the easiest way to make money is to work on yourself as a person so you’re the kind of person that everyone else just wants to hang out with, that everyone else just really likes. And when you become that person and people start showing up, start billing them for the pleasure. Now that’s nice and tongue-in-cheek as a comment, but it’s actually very true. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 416 Most really successful people are people that other people like talking to and like interacting with, and because of that energy, because of the way they like exchanging things, they’ll find almost any reason they can to start hanging out with them more. Now, if you start from the frame that you are that kind of person, the kind of person that other people like and that other people want to hang around with and want to do business with and whatever else you want to get out of life from, well, if you can sub-communicate that properly, project that into the world, then chances are the world will treat you as though you were exactly that kind of person. And you start seeing the same results that a person of that type would be getting. If you’re not that kind of person yet, all is not lost. You can still use a frame called the “as if” frame. So just pretend what you would be like if you were this person. How would you behave? How would you move? How would you breathe? How would you engage other people? Inside your mind, you must actually take the time to actually think about this. What are the consequences? If you are the kind of person that everyone else wanted to hang out with and spend time with, how would you be reacting? If someone wants to hang out with you, would you be overly friendly? Would you be overly polite? Would you be uncaring? How would you be? When you an answer that question realistically and behave in the same way that someone who is like that would behave, then the rest of the world will treat you as though that were true. And eventually you’ll forget and they’ll forget that all along you just started by pretending. That’s when pretends becomes reality. Track 12 Ex.1 Exercise 1 The first exercise is for you to go back to CD 1. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 417 On CD 1, if you remember, I gave you a couple of examples of conversational hypnosis in action, and then I deconstructed them for you. There are, in fact, three examples that you can play with. I want you to go back to those very examples and begin to try and tease out what kinds of frames have been put there. What are the preframes? What deframes have been put in? Where is it just a question of maintaining your frame in that interaction? In order to spot a frame, what you need to do is very simply ask yourself the question, “What is being assumed here and is that necessarily true?” As soon as you find some kind of assumption, that assumption almost invariably will be a frame. So those assumptions can be cultural; those assumptions can be implied; those assumptions can be to do with a specific context that’s being created. But just find those and how they shift the meaning and just become very aware of how those things work. Track 13 Ex.2 Exercise 2 Once you’ve managed to sensitize your thinking, your mind, to spot where frames are being set, what I want you to do then is begin to pay attention to the media. Listen to adverts, to news broadcasts. In particular, listen to politicians and the way they create their spin. Then once you’re listening to them, begin to tease out from these same sources what is the implied frame. What frames are being maintained? Where are the challenges being made and where are they being reframed, deframed, preframed, or just maintained all by themselves? This is an important concept because it will begin to show you how naturally people use frame control in everyday interactions. Track 14 Ex.3 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 418 Exercise 3 The next exercise is one of the keys to being able to maintain your frame no matter how tough the challenge is and no matter how much the social pressure is on you to conform with everyone else’s view of the world. In order to do this, I want you to actually go out there and begin to learn to have this impassive non-reaction stance in the way that you communicate with people. So when people say something that you don’t agree with or is challenging or rattling your cage in some way, you become totally non-reactive as though the thing they’re talking about doesn’t exist or is even a little weird in some ways. Now the way to do this is whenever you feel yourself under that social pressure, instead of agreeing with what they’re saying or even disagreeing and providing counter points, which would be more going down the deframing route, all you will do without agreeing or disagreeing is let the point just float in the air without responding to it in any way. That means you must maintain or school your features, your face to be very calm, to be unmoving. No facial ticks, no looking away, no sighing, no changes in tonality. If you’re speaking about a topic, continue speaking about a topic as though the challenge never occurred. Allow your tone of voice to maintain the exact same pitch, the same rhythm, the same inflection. This is very important to be able to do that. And notice how people respond to you. Now at first you won’t necessarily get this right and that’s okay. You’re learning how to be able to do this under increasing amounts of pressure. Initially, a small amount of pressure is all you’ll be able to cope with. But the more you do this, just like lifting weights, the more powerful you become. In other words, the more resistant to high levels of social pressure you become inside. At that point, the levels of frame control that you have will be incredibly powerful. Track 15 Ex.4 Exercise 4 The next exercise is a little bit more intellectual. What I want you to do is to begin to notice all the typical objections that you get in your line of work or in the places that you want to be more influential in. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 419 So if you’re a salesperson, just list the typical objections you get from someone that says, “I don’t want to buy this after all.” Now once you have this typical list of objections, and this should only take you about a week to be able to gather these, begin to work out first of all what is the frame being set that allows the actual objection to be a valid objection? So what is the preframe that the client or potential client is giving you in order to allow that to be a valid objection? Then, look at your preframes, your reframes, and deframes that will actually undermine those assumptions. In other words, what kind of reality would have to exist in order to make the objection completely invalid? To make it like something that no one would normally think of? And when you have those, then being to construct your own frame, your own reality in which the ability to buy something or whatever it is that you’re doing inside your job is the only logical and sane conclusion that someone can come to. When you have that frame, you can create a preframe out of that and then you can use your reframes and deframes to keep cycling back into this thing. Test it out and see how well that works for you. Track 16 Ex.5 Exercise 5 The next exercise is actually very straightforward. Begin to practice all the useful frames that we’ve talked about on this CD and incorporate them into your life as though they were true. Keep asking yourself the question, What if it was actually a fact that the world was an abundant place? What if you were, in fact, the kind of person that everyone else wanted to hang around with? What if you were totally in control of your world and no matter what happened, you were the one who caused it and you were the one who can solve the problem as well? Keep thinking in this way, making that part of your own reality, and enter it. Pretend, do it as if these things were true for you, and then notice how the world treats you as a result. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 420 Track 17 Ex.6 Exercise 6 This exercise is in some ways quite charming. It’s quite a lot of fun. I call it the Pollyanna frame after the literary character of a little girl who would always find a silver lining in every cloud. No matter how messed up the situation was, she would always find something positive inside of it. [Pollyanna is a 1913 novel by Eleanor H. Porter. Available from Amazon.com] So you’re going to play the Pollyanna role. You’re going to start practicing this by whenever someone comes up with some kind of negative thing or an objection or a problem in their life, you’ll start with the words, “That’s good because...” And you attach anything at the end of that that will justify the statement. In other words, that will make it a good thing; that will reframe it into some kind of a positive event. You’ll be making this with enthusiasm. That’s very important that you find some kind of enthusiasm no matter what the situation is. You can play this game as a game with your friends if you like, just as a way of having some mental acuity. Or you can actually even do it inside of normal conversations. Just be warned. If you do it inside of normal conversations to an excess, people will start treating you slightly weirdly or they’ll accuse you of making fun of them. If that should happen, either stop playing the Pollyanna frame for a while or treat this as an opportunity for you to really maintain your frame. When you can maintain your frame under that kind of pressure, there will be very few situations that you won’t be able to handle comfortably. This game, the Pollyanna frame, is actually a very powerful way to force your mind to reframe instantly and find silver linings to every cloud. And, by the way, every cloud does have at least one genuine, worthwhile silver lining that you need to find. It’s just a question of changing your perspective enough in order to be able to see it. Track 18 Ex.7 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 421 Exercise 7 This final exercise is something you can spend a long time on and keep coming back to over a period of time. This is if you like the master class work in finding frames. You’re going to find frames out of the work of one of the greatest, most influential people of all time. This is Plato’s Socrates. In the appendix attached to the end of the transcripts which go with this CD set will be included an entire book called the Gorgias, which is a dialogue that Socrates has with different people trying to persuade him of different things. Now Socrates is a master of controlling frames. He preframes, he reframes, and he deframes at the perfect times. Now I don’t know what your usual experiences were of old style philosophers, but Socrates is such a master of frame control that it’s worth every moment that you spend analyzing the way he sets up frames, the way he steals frames by deframing, or by reframing things. Really watch and listen and learn from that master at work. Take the stuff that you’ve learned here and use it to analyze the Socratic dialogue called Gorgias at the end of the transcript inside of your appendix. Every moment you do that will be a moment really well spent. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 422 Track 19 End of CD10 So, we’ve reached the end now of this CD. On the next CD, CD 11, entitled “Conversational Trance Formulas: Getting What You Want,” you’re going to discover the secrets for how to use conversational hypnosis to actually influence and persuade others to get the kind of things you need and want out of life. You’re going to discover the power of the PCAT formula for personal change, so you can help your friends, your clients, anyone in your family to improve and change their life for the better. You’ll find the persuasion formula, COMILA, so that you can become more influential in your communications. We’ll also deal with the hypnotic checklist called LIFE, which tells you all the things you must include within a conversational hypnosis interaction to get the kind of outcome you want. You’ll discover how to use post-hypnotic suggestions in order to motivate behaviors out of people even when you’re not there. Finally, we’ll look at how you can create future memories and implant them in someone so these are memories that the unconscious mind will look towards in order to create future actions, again, while you’re not even there. All these things are waiting for you on the next CD, CD 11. I hope you enjoy practicing these exercises that you have experienced so far, and I look forward to meeting you again on the next CD. Until that time, enjoy learning and practicing conversational hypnosis. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 423 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS CD11 Conversational Trance Formulas – Getting What You Want Track 1 Welcome Welcome to CD 11 of the Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Program. On this CD, entitled "Conversational Trance Formulas – Getting What You Want," you will discover the secrets of getting what you want out of interactions, and helping other people to improve the way they think, feel, and the behaviors they engage in. Now one of the first things we will look at is a thing called the LIFE checklist to make sure that you know you are using all of the hypnotic skills within a given interaction. Next we will move on to the PCAT formula, which will give you a specific way of helping people make positive changes inside their life. We will give you an example of it in action, and then break it down for you, so you can see how the language and all the other things you have learned about already have been built into the PCAT formula. The next thing we will look at will be Future Memories. This is a very powerful way of conditioning the unconscious mind towards certain patterns of behavior in the future. Next we will look at the mysterious power of post-hypnotic suggestions and how to activate post-hypnotic suggestions so that you can induce behaviors in people even when you are not there. Finally, we will look at how to roll this whole thing into the COMILA formula to motivate people toward certain behaviors. Again, we will give you an example of the COMILA formula in action and break it down for you so you can see how each of the steps actually looks in practice. Once again, a lot of hypnotic language is being used within the context of this CD, so if you are driving a car or operating any kind of machinery, make sure you stop whatever you are doing so you don't go on to the next track until you are ready to pay full attention. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 424 And as soon as you are ready to do that, just sit back, relax, and enjoy learning conversational hypnosis. Track 2 The LIFE process So by now you have spent a lot of time learning how to get people into trances in a very conversational sort of way. If you have been doing all the exercises up to this point you should be a tremendous conversational hypnotist. The question is, though, what do you do with these skills? How can you actually do something while you have them in a trance? Now you need some kind of trance tools, some processes which allow you to create changes inside of people as a part of your conversational inductions. These could be changes for actual personal development or to motivate them to some kind of action that will be useful for them or for your interaction. No matter what your profession is, whenever you want to influence another human being on purpose, there can only be two reasons for doing this. It is either: 1. to help them overcome some kind of problem or internal block to something, or 2. to motivate them towards a better future, to motivate them to do something to get a better future. In order to be able to do this, I have developed the PCAT formula to overcome problems, and the COMILA formula to motivate people and create specific actions that will allow you to help them build a better future. Now the really good news is that the unconscious mind has a job to do, and part of that job is to help the person survive and thrive in their environment, which means that if you are genuinely helping someone else to have some kind of win, some kind of positive results inside their life, their unconscious mind is likely to help you along on the same way. So this is where the win/win idea can become a very useful thing and help you become more influential. Now as we look at these two trance processes, the PCAT formula and the COMILA formula, and the things in between to help make these more powerful, I want you to bear something in mind. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 425 Once you have mastered these things, you will actually forget all about these processes, you will internalize them, and you will just turn to normal conversations and stuff will start slipping out. At this point it is very useful to keep a little checklist inside your mind. The checklist that I use myself I call the LIFE checklist. How To Use The LIFE Checklist The LIFE checklist is a way for me to insure that when I am talking with someone and I am starting to use conversational hypnosis patterns, that I am actually maximizing my communication. It allows me to distill all the knowledge I have put into all these CDs into a very simple 4 step model. LIFE stands for Language, Induction, Frames and Emotion. These are the four hearts that make up conversational hypnosis. And you have already covered them. • • • • • Language you covered on CDs 3 and 6; Induction you have covered on CD 8, including The four stage protocol on CD 1; Frames are covered on CD 10; and Emotion was covered on CD 5. You are pretty much bound to have a successful outcome. Remember these formulas, the PCAT and COMILA formulas, the future memories, the post-hypnotic suggestions, all these things that we will be doing will kind of fit in naturally when you get everything else right. “L” Is For Language While you are talking to people, it is sometimes too complicated to think about these big models. So just think, 1. 2. 3. 4. Am I using my language well? Am I using language flow? Am I using better suggestions? Am I changing my tonality? All these things that you have already learned. “I” Is For Induction © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 426 Remember the 4 Stage Protocol: 1. Are you going through some kind of formal or informal induction procedure? 2. Are you going through the four stage protocol. In other words, are you captivating their attention? 3. Are you bypassing the critical factor? 4. Are you activating some kind of unconscious response and moving it towards some kind of outcome that you have in mind? “F” Is For Frames Your frames are so important because if you are not setting frames, chances are you don't have an outcome in mind; you don't have a real purpose for communicating. If you don't have a purpose for communicating, the chances are you will probably communicate rather poorly. So if you keep your frames in mind, you’ll know that you are achieving something very specific. And likewise, if you know what you are trying to achieve, if you know what your purpose is, then it becomes very easy to think of frames that you can set in order to achieve that purpose. “E” Is For Emotion Finally, we come to emotion. Emotion is the fuel that drives behavior and human interaction. So you must have emotional content to whatever interaction you had or to whatever hypnotic processes that you are using. Now the reason this LIFE checklist is very interesting is because, in a very quick way, in a matter of seconds, you can just check on yourself and say, "Am I using all four things? Language, induction, frames, and emotion?" Let's say one day I wake up but I am a bit emotionally flat, for whatever reason. And I am doing my interactions but somehow something is kind of off. I don't know what it is. So I am checking: 1. Am I using language? Yes. 2. Did I do an induction? Yes. 3. Do I know what outcome I want, what purpose? Am I setting the right frames? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 427 Yes, I am. 4. Am I having any emotional interaction? …! And suddenly I realize I have built up my own barriers inside. Remember, the key is to go first. In order to set an emotional trigger in someone else and activate their own emotions, you need to go first with your own emotions. So suddenly I realize I have created a wall inside of myself and I am not going first, hence there is no emotional interaction, and that is probably where the blockage on the interaction is coming from. So the LIFE checklist is a great checklist for you to very quickly analyze what is happening in your interaction and where you might be falling down. So always keep the LIFE formula in the back of your mind, as we go through the various trance processes that will help you to get what you want out of the interactions. Track 3 The PCAT formula to help people change Now let us look at the first formula for creating a beneficial change in someone else. The formula is designed to be able to help a friend or a family member or a colleague when they're having a tough time to overcome a slump or something else that's limiting them in their life. You could use it to help motivate an employee or even a client that has difficulty making up his mind one way or another because of some mental confusion that’s going on. One of the most beautiful things about the PCAT formula is that it can be done totally conversationally, so you can slip into this pattern while having a normal chat with someone. It is very useful, by the way, if you're talking to someone and live in the moment the person you're talking to has a problem. For example, let's say you are a sales person, and just as you're about to close the deal, you notice that the other person isn't quite in the right state of mind. There's something not quite there and you just shift them to be able to overcome some kind of hurdle or problem or internal resistance. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 428 You can shift straight into the PCAT formula and at the tail end of that you move straight on to your close and the whole thing becomes a smooth and seamless process. It just seems to have been part of the normal presentation or the normal conversations you've had. PCAT stands for "P" Is For Problem In other words, you have to activate the problem in some way. "C" Is For Confused The reason for confusion is to bypass the critical factor and also to mess up some of the problem construct. “A” Is For Active Solution/Resources That allows us to go straight to the next step, which is "A" for activated solution. “T” Is For Transform Finally we move on to "T" for transforming, which becomes a mechanism for putting it all together. So, let's have a look at those things in more detail for a moment. "P" Is For The Problem Why would you want to actually activate a problem that someone else is having? Surely you want to stay away from problems? Well, here's the difficulty in staying away from problems. If all you have is solutions but you don't attach them to anything then they will never solve the actual problems they are designed to solve, because there is nothing that will ever trigger them into action. The thing about problems is they already exist in the real world. In other words, they know when it's time for them to occur. So when you actually attach a solution to something, you need to attach the problem. So, when the problem starts getting fired, rather than the problem becoming a problem and staying as a problem, it begins to trigger the solution itself. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 429 Think of it this way. If you imagine the mind being like a Christmas tree with lots of fairy lights, when you actually light up one of those fairy lights, one set of those unique patterns of lights, that could be the problem state. If you have a solution it must light up within the same pattern of fairy lights so you can see the glowing in the dark whenever the problem gets activated. If you light up a different Christmas tree, then the solution isn't going to light up when you flip the right switch. It's very important to activate the problem so that the neurology is activated, so when you attach a solution to something it attaches to the right place. When I say to activate the problem, though, what I don't mean is that you retraumatize them or create a huge amount of problems with them. You'll have just enough so you'll have an open doorway, so that when you throw in these solutions later on, the resources will have somewhere to attach to. Typically where you're doing this in a conversational setting, the problem part of the PCAT formula will happen automatically. I mean by that, as you’re talking to someone else, they’ll automatically go into the problem and you'll know “Aha! Now it's time to go into the whole pattern that we've created.” So bear in mind, while we have the "P", the problem part of the PCAT formula for the sake of completeness, remember that in most conversations and most interactions, that bit will be taken care of by your friends, your family member, your client, your colleague, because it will happen spontaneously. “C” Is For Confuse The next step is "C" for confuse. When someone is in a problem state they are going to go round a certain cycle over and over again. They tend to be used to that problem so they get stuck in a particular rut. So you have to come in like a bulldozer and break up all the pieces. The First Purpose Of Confusion One of the things that confusion does is it breaks up all the pieces so you now have new building blocks to create a new kind of construct, a mental construct. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 430 The Second Purpose Of Confusion The other thing that confusion does at the same time is it tends to induce trance. If someone is very confused they will try to escape in a particular direction. The direction you're going to give them will be the activation of the solution in a moment's time. The Third Purpose Of Confusion The third thing that confusion does is it bypasses the critical factor so there is less interference going on. So confusion is a very important stage because it allows you to break up the concrete so they are no longer set in their ways, no longer set in the same problem ways. Secondly, it builds response potential because most people don't like confusion, so they need to have clarity. So when you offer them clarity in the form of a solution, they'll jump on it as a way of releasing the tension built up in the confusion. The third thing that confusion does is that it bypasses the critical factor, thereby allowing you to have a strong impact with your suggestions. “A” Is For Activate Solution The next stage is to activate the solution itself. Usually the solution will be some kind of state. In other words, an emotion or feeling. But it can be anything. We tend to send the conscious mind on some kind of search for the past. How do you do this? Activation Strategy 1: Reframe Well, you can do this by reframing them. Activation Strategy 2: Stories You can tell a story about something someone else did. Activation Strategy 3: Emotional Triggers You can use your emotional triggers to go back and revivify an experience they've had in the past in which they felt powerful, or an emotional state that's useful here. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 431 Activation Strategy 4: Find Past Experiences You can send the unconscious mind on a search using process instructions to automatically find solutions themselves, like in a sort of unconscious dream. You can also use old behaviors that they can use at other times which may be useful in this situation, it's just that they haven't managed to attach the two. Activation Strategy 5: Visualization Finally, you might just want to have a visualization. Make him imagine doing something different. All these things are solutions. The thing is they need to somehow attach to the problem. “T” Is For Transform The final part, "T" for transformation, is what attaches the solution to the problem. You may think of it as having two glasses of water. You have a problem glass. You have a solution glass. Hopefully you have more inside the solution glass than you have in the problem glass. At the moment they are still separate. The next step is to mix the two glasses and give them a good shake so that now the problem and the solution mix up together. So that now the solution comes to dominate and clear out the problem. That's the PCAT formula. "P" for problem. "C" for confuse. "A" for activate solution. "T" for transform. On the next track you will see an example of how the PCAT formula can be used very simply and elegantly in order to help someone create some kind of positive change in their life. Track 4 Demonstration of PCAT formula So you have this problem. And I know you have had this problem for quite some time. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 432 It’s been weighing on your mind. You’ve wanted to change it and you've thought about changing it, and you've tried different things, but everything seems to have failed and you really don't know how to change now, because you think you've tried everything that you can think about changing. The thing is, like trying to recall someone's name, sometimes things just get stuck on the tip of your tongue. You know that something is going to happen. You know that name is there but you just can’t for the life of you remember what it is. “What was that name? Who was that actor?” And, of course, you'll recognize from your own experiences that the more you stop trying to overcome the solution, the more the problem won't bother you as it eases away—like a tight knot beginning to unwind now. Because you know there's a way you could rather be. And if you were to imagine yourself, a long, long time after you'd already solved the problem. Now, you can see that the solution seems so obvious with hindsight. Now, when you think about all the problems you've overcome in the past. You can see that with clear hindsight that they really weren't all that big a deal afterwards. And so, what you're facing now can shrink down to size as soon as you realize that you're on your way to let your natural creativity solve things for you. Because you have had the experience many times, that just when you stopped trying to remember that something, that damned name, your mind easily brings you the solution. The problem you thought about before going to sleep was solved in a blinding flash of insight. And the next morning you simply knew what you needed to do. Or less suddenly, it crept up on you from the back of your mind, so to speak, until one day the thing that was in the back of your mind and the tip of your tongue just slips out, like that name. Oh! There it is. You really knew it all along. And I wonder which morning you'll discover that old problem has really gone now. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 433 Will it happen quickly, like before you even go to sleep tonight? Or will it take a long, long, time – like you may have to wait three whole nights, four whole nights, before you'll really know that you've solved it once and for all? I can't answer that for you, but when you think about it now, isn't it worth finding out for yourself? Track 5 Breakdown of PCAT formula demonstration So let's break down that trance process. Of course we are using the PCAT formula, so the first step was to activate the problem, to make the neurology activate it up. How do we do that? Well, we talked about the problem that you had. You have had that problem for quite some time. It has been weighing on your mind. And as you are doing this, of course, it begins to revivify, bring it back to life to a certain extent, inside their own neurology. Now for those of you who are quite sly, you will have noticed that we also used language to begin to shift the problem a little bit, from the present into the past. So we started along the lines of, "You have a problem, and you have had that problem for quite some time. And that problem has been weighing on your mind for some time now." Notice how we go from the present tense and very smoothly move into a past tense with it. Of course, this whole area as well becomes a “yes set” so we begin to use the piggyback [strategy and] authority strategy so that we can start attaching solutions because they are already in the habit of saying yes to us. So when we come to the next stage, which is the C for confusion, which is all about confusing that critical factor, that guardian at the gate, so you can bypass their critical thinking and go straight to the unconscious process. And because you have a yes set already, you have already bought a little bit of their attention, it is more likely they will go through and start listening to what we are saying. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 434 So you will have spotted already some of the confusional language in order to overload their thinking. It is not too much, because remember, we are doing this in a conversational setting and we don't get too bizarre with it, although we could do. And on top of that we have also begun to change the voice tone to use a little bit of the hypnotic voice induction, in order to shift to more hypnotic patterns. Lastly, we also have a metaphor. We are talking to the unconscious mind about forgetting, about amnesia, and this metaphor will be something which is about forgetting. In general terms they forget the whole process occurred. But it also is a metaphor for remembering later on how to create solutions. In other words, whenever you have that tip of the tongue phenomenon that is a sign the unconscious mind knows something that you don't have conscious access to yet. And that is the first stage you are solving problems, which is to help the unconscious mind find the problem solution and then to present it to consciousness. So we begin that whole train [of thought]. We are seeding the idea that the unconscious mind knows what the answer is before the conscious mind can ever know it. And already we are on to the next step, which is A for activate the solution. We are orienting them to some sort of solution state, and the easiest way to do that is to use a future memory projection, which is exactly what we are doing here now. So by asking unanswered questions and by orienting their thinking constantly to this future, this specific kind of future where the problem has been solved, which through implication is already laying the seed for a solution to follow. We are also using language again to shift time. This time, instead of going from the present with the problem to the past with the problem, we are shifting into the future after it is already over, after it has already been solved successfully. The next stage is to begin to reframe the problem itself. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 435 So the way we are reframing it here is to remind them of the many times in the past that they were able to overcome problems without really knowing how they have done it. It is just that afterwards, they know it has occurred. We are also beginning to take control of the inner pictures, just as you learn on CD 5 on "Emotional Triggers." And the way that this is happening is through a very direct and embedded suggestion. “Shrink them down to size” Now that we have gone through the activation of the solution, we must transform the whole problem so they can attach the problem and the solution together and create a complete piece. The way we are doing that is to give process instructions. The process instructions are to basically stop trying, to stop interfering consciously with the unconscious process. And then allow the unconscious mind to really allow the process to come out naturally. We are also setting a trigger for the resource. The way we are setting this trigger is through a post-hypnotic suggestion, and we are leaving it open ended so that there are many different potential triggers that will trigger the solution. The basic personal suggestions to trigger the solutions are either for them to go to sleep and wake up in the morning with a solution in mind. And by the way, they will be going to sleep at some point. So therefore the solution can be triggered at some point. Or for it [the solution] to creep up on them from the back of the mind to the front of the mind. So you are recycling back to this idea of having something on the tip of your tongue. And everyone has had that experience of having something on the tip of your tongue, and it eventually just pops out into consciousness, in the same way that the solution might just pop out into unconsciousness. And finally, at the end of the sequence, we are using again embedded suggestions to suggest that the old problem has really gone now. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 436 In other words, you have made the problem an old thing, therefore it is in the past, and it is gone now. We are also pre-framing an assumption that it will happen at some point. In other words, when they go to sleep or before they go to sleep tonight, and as they go to sleep every night in between. The beautiful thing about giving them the choice about when it is going to happen, in other words, before they fall asleep tonight, or in maybe a long, long time like three or four nights' time, is we are actually giving them something to redirect their resistance towards. So if they don't feel particularly resistive, they can just have a solution straight away. If they have some need to resist something, then the resistance will be a question of time rather than whether or not the solution comes. So if they want to resist properly, it may take three or four nights to do this. Now, three or four nights is not a long time to wait for a problem to resolve itself. Even if they take a whole week to do it, it is really not that long. But because we framed it as a long, long time then the resistance will naturally redirect down that pathway, if it should occur at all. So that is the breakdown of the whole PCAT formula, the example we have just given you. Once you have had a chance to listen to this, go back to the last track and relisten to the whole PCAT formula, the generic thing, and see how much of it you can spot on the second time around, how many of those things that we have been discussing and that you have been learning over the course of the entire series. And you will recognize you know a hell of a lot more about conversational hypnosis than you thought you did before you started listening to this now. Track 6 Future memories So now I want to talk to you a little bit about future memories. Future memories are kind of a halfway house between the PCAT formula you just did, and the suggestions of behaviors which we are going to come on to in a moment's time. Future memories are very powerful things. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 437 If you remember, Milton Erickson was a therapist who would sometimes take a client he didn't know what else to do with, hypnotize them, move them into a future point where they have already resolved the problem they came for. Then he’d simply ask them, “What did you do to overcome these problems?” Of course the whole therapy would then be outlined for him [Erickson]. And he [Erickson] would just follow the very steps this client had given him in the first place! The outcome would be that they overcame the problems they came to see him for. It is kind of a therapeutic way of cheating. So future memories are very powerful because what they do is they format the unconscious mind so it creates kind of a rough track into the future, where a certain thing will happen. Think of it this way. If you have a mountain that it rains on, the rain can pretty much go anywhere. But if you have a mountain and you have scoured out some channels in advance, you have created some ditches, the rain will most likely collect in those ditches and drain off through those ditches you have created. Creating future memories is really a way of building those ditches. It formats the unconscious mind towards actualizing the memory that you have created, as though it was actually real. How do you do this? Well, you can do this in many different ways. Future Memory Tactic 1: Stories Storytelling is my favorite way of doing this. Go back to CD 9 in order to find out how to use storytelling to achieve things. Future Memory Tactic 2: Direct Suggestion But you can do it with very direct suggestions. You can use the “my friend John” technique or the “my friend Jane” technique from CD 8, or all kinds of different ways of doing it. You can also be very direct. The key thing is you have to start by orienting someone towards the future. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 438 Future Memory Tactic 3: Ask Leading Questions Now one way to do this is by asking questions. • • • "What would it be like if” or "What happens when” or "Imagine, what happens if after this has happened, you look back on this." So notice that these are all language patterns, which orients the person towards the future. And sometimes it can be as simple as saying, "I wonder what will happen two years from now?” Because you know for a fact that looking back this will have all been resolved. “Now maybe it is because you did X to resolve the problem, or maybe you did what my friend Jane did to resolve the problem, which was to…” And you can line out another option again. Notice again how the future memories are very simple. You are actually recreating whatever behavior or whatever solution you have in mind. And you are painting that picture in their mind, so sensory rich description is going to be very, very important. The Future Memory Process So let's look at future memory again as a process. The first thing you do is orient them toward the future. It can be in a question about the future, or you might even casually begin to daydream with them, acting “as if”. "Now, I wonder what it would be like to do this." Being curious yourself is actually a very good way of getting them to be curious. And as soon as you have oriented towards the future, you have created the conditions that open the space into which you can set whatever it is the future memory should be about. The future memory itself can be induced primarily through sensory rich descriptions, so in other words, by describing the particular events. You can also use it in a covert fashion, by using things like the “my friend Jane” or “my friend John” technique and by describing the experiences as though they were happening to someone else. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 439 The other thing you can do is use very nonspecific language, very sort of process oriented language saying, "I wonder how your unconscious mind would resolve this?" Usually it is good to offer many different suggestions or many different options. If you are good, you can always add a double bind, which is to say make it seem as if there are different options but they are really the same option under disguise. A nice little formula I like to use when orienting people towards a future memory is to use a phrase, "as the days and the weeks and the months go by." And then just describing a very pleasant scene that would unfold, because then you could treat the suggestions like a normal memory. "Just let's remember about some good old times.” It’s just that these good old times happen to be in the future. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 440 Track 7 Post hypnotic suggestions Let's start by looking at the nitty-gritty. What is it you can actually do to get someone to do something for you, a simple behavior? One of the simplest things you can do is a post-hypnotic suggestion. Now post-hypnotic suggestions are wonderful creatures. They are basically ways that you can use trance to suggest something which someone later on when they're outside of the trance will actually activate and actually act on. So that you don't have to be present as a hypnotist while suggesting something. You can actually suggest something for the future which will occur whether or not you happen to be present. One of the great hypnotists, a man called George Estabrooks, put it in a very insightful way. He said, "There is a rule in hypnotism that everything we can get in trance can also be obtained by means of the post-hypnotic suggestion. Also, anything that we find in either can be found in auto-suggestion, meaning selfsuggestion. And finally, everything we obtain in any of the three will be encountered in everyday life." [His book Hypnotism by George Estabrooks, 1946, is currently our of print] Now, this is an important insight because post-hypnotic suggestions are not some strange magical power that a hypnotist has. While they're powerful things and can be used in powerful ways, this is a natural way that the mind remembers to do things. Think about it this way. An alcoholic is recovering. He walks past a bar, gets a whiff of alcohol, goes straight inside and before he knows it he is drinking. What caused his consciousness to shut off and the behavior to take over? Here's another more everyday example. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 441 A friend of yours decides to stop smoking. He does it very well for a while. Then one night he's out with friends. He has a drink or two and suddenly the drink and the friendship and the atmosphere of the bar...bang! He starts smoking again. Again, what happened to shut off his willpower, his decision to stop smoking? Both these examples can be explained away in terms of post-hypnotic suggestions. These ones were self-induced. So when you create a post-hypnotic suggestion to someone a couple of things are happening. Post Hypnotic Suggestion Condition 1: Suggest A Behaviour The first one is you're going to create a behavior, an action. So you just suggest that it is going to happen sometime in the future. Post Hypnotic Suggestion Condition 2: Select a Trigger The second thing you'll do is create a triggering mechanism. You need some kind of mechanism that will release the action at the right point and at the right time. Post Hypnotic Suggestion Condition 3: Bypass Consciousness The third thing that has to happen is somehow you've got to stand outside of normal conscious awareness, so that the conscious mind does not interfere with it. Now, one of the things that characterizes a post-hypnotic suggestion is the fact that the person who has been suggested to do some new behavior is under a kind of compulsion to act out that behavior. In other words, it is not a volitional thing. Even if the person recalls the fact that the post-hypnotic suggestion was given and tries to resist, the person will ultimately still feel compelled to complete the task in some way. This is an important thing to realize because it shows a nature of pure unconscious action. So post-hypnotic suggestions by their very nature bypass the ability of the conscious mind to interfere or even resist things. That's why they're so useful for getting behaviors from people. Now one of the things that is in the nature of post-hypnotic suggestions is that they seem to work along the lines of the access state principle. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 442 In other words, when you suggest a particular behavior in a particular kind of trance, in order for that behavior to come out again, the person automatically slips back into that trance again. So this is an important thing because we have to create a mechanism to trigger the action. That mechanism is actually the one that triggers the state that triggers the action. So, when you're designing a post-hypnotic suggestion, and in a moment we'll look at the actual protocol for doing this, you must bear in mind what state you are creating, what action you are creating. Later on we will show you how to put that together into the COMILA formula to have a whole process in which the post-hypnotic suggestion can actually sit. The last thing you need to know about post-hypnotic suggestions is that they're not some kind of all-powerful way of dominating someone else's will. Hopefully I have dispelled that myth by now. You see, the unconscious mind still has to work within the bounds of ethical constraint. To use hypnosis to try to get someone to break that ethic is something that has been bound to failure in many different kinds of experiments. In fact, George Estabrooks the very person who came up with that insightful description of how post-hypnotic suggestions work is a man who is famous for trying to recreate the Manchurian Candidate, to create some kind of hypnotic assassin, that we know that he's got that role by using hypnosis. The thing is, he tried for several years and failed miserably. So it tells you a lot about how the unconscious mind works. If you want to use post-hypnotic suggestions, use them for a win-win scenario and you're bound to be successful. Try and create something that will be a detriment to someone else and you'll probably have your fingers burned quite badly. So I strongly advise you to keep this within the bounds of the ethical constraints and you'll see a lot of success in what you are doing. Track 8 How to install a post hypnotic suggestion So how do you install a post-hypnotic suggestion? © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 443 The protocol we are about to cover is something taken directly from the words of Milton Erickson, and taught to me by my own mentors, John Overdorf and Julie Silverthorn. Remember that post-hypnotic suggestions require a state to activate their actual behavior. Post Hypnotic Suggestion Installation Step 1: Induce A Trance So begin with some sort of trance process. Post Hypnotic Suggestion Installation Step 2: Suggest Behavior Then come up with suggestions for the new behavior. Post Hypnotic Suggestion Installation Step 3: Induce Amnesia The next step is to induce amnesia, and we will talk a little more about why that happens in a moment. Post Hypnotic Suggestion Installation Step 4: Return To Trance The final step is to go back to general trance processes. Post Hypnotic Suggestion Installation Step 5: Self Esteem Suggestions You can even add some kind of positive or self affirmations about their personality or self esteem, et cetera. Now each of those stages is actually very important, because it creates the context in which the post-hypnotic suggestion can take effect. The first step of creating trance actually sets the state in which a behavior can go through. Step 1: Induce A Trance Now in the next track, when we look at the COMILA formula, we will look much more into the kind of states that will be useful for creating certain behaviors. For the moment, just take it as a very simple thing. Induce a trance. And when you are inducing a trance, it is useful to give the unconscious mind lots of options on freedom and how to do things. If you know something about what they think is valuable about life or what they like about life, add those things in there as well, because you are creating a kind of motivation factor for the unconscious mind to respond to new behaviors. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 444 So all your framing can go into the same place where you are setting the state, the trance process itself. Step 2: Suggest Behavior The next step is to suggest the new behavior. Now you can do this quite directly. But if you are going to guarantee your success a little more fully, I would start indirectly by just planting some seeds of ideas about behavior, for example by talking about people who have done similar things or have had similar types of activities. And then slowly bring them around to the idea of suggesting that they do the same thing. The next thing you can do to assist new behaviors from taking is to use kind of open ended language to suggest things. I like to use questions a lot. Questions allow people to fill in the blanks themselves and have a lot of implication about where and when to do the behavior. So you say, for example, "When will you discover that you have already done X?" Already you have this suggestion it is going to happen; it is just a question of when. You can think of it in terms of setting frames and using presuppositions, to presuppose or assume that it is just going to happen. Again, this allows you to bypass a little potential resistance, just by making sure that inside the idea is pretty much implanted. It’s going to happen. It is just a question of how, where, when, how much, et cetera. Remember To Set A Trigger The other thing you want to do at the same time is to begin to provide options for triggers. A trigger is the point at which the actual post-hypnotic behavior is going to take effect. Now that could be something as simple as a light switch or clicking your fingers, seeing someone else's face, reading a particular book, or going to bed at night. These are all a whole host of different trigger points which could trigger off the behavior you are trying to suggest. It is important to have at least one clear trigger point. Otherwise, they will never know when to put the behavior into action. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 445 Another very neat way of doing this would be to offer a whole list of different behaviors. Some of them you can be very direct about, saying "It will happen when you turn the light switch" or "When you turn a corner," or "When you open a particular door." With others, you can be more permissive and say, "Whether it happens at this trigger point, or that trigger point. Will it be this trigger point, or that trigger point?" Remember, if you are more permissive and give them lots of options, what is likely to happen is that even if they want to resist some of those options, the resistance will go to one, which means it affirms that the other ones will actually take place. So my preferred way of working with it is to give lots of different places [for the trigger]. The other thing that will happen is you will tend to generalize the behavior so that the behavior can be a much more normal part of their everyday life. Step 3: Create Amnesia The next step is to create amnesia. And how do you create amnesia? Amnesia Technique 1: Language Pattern Well, you have already come across the amnesia technique in the way that you use language. Amnesia Technique 2: Change Topic Other ways to use amnesia might be as simple as changing the topic. If you abruptly change the topic, and don't come back to the original idea, it tends to just cut that line of thought and people forget all about it. Amnesia Technique 3: Nested Loops Another thing you can do is go back to CD 9 and use your nested loops. Nested loops are wonderful things for creating amnesia because there is so much going on and so many different payoffs. The things that happen in the middle tend to be deleted as the beginning and the end of a particular sequence of a thing that stayed in your memory. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 446 One thing you should realize is that amnesia will tend to happen anyway within a trance process. It is almost like a side effect of hypnosis, particularly if you are fractionating people in and out of trances constantly. Fractionation Fractionation is when you put someone in a trance, bring them out, put them in, put them out, put them in, and put them out. And things like storytelling can be great processes for fractionating hypnotic processes. Now why would you want to induce amnesia in someone? The simplest reason is in order to allow the suggestion you have implanted to start taking root and taking effect without someone peeking at it too much. Eventually it will be fine for them to know where the suggestions were, because once they are embedded, they can no longer interfere. It is as though at the initial stages when you first suggest something, that someone could start on picking things, which might make it less likely that the suggestion was acted on. Step 4: Return To Original Trance The next stage is to go back to the trance. I f you will remember back on CD 9 about nested loops, you created a nested loop of two trance processes. You are using the same trance processes again, so you have created a building block on both sides of the suggestion for the new behavior inside of a state of hypnosis. Step 5: Build Their Self Esteem The last step you want to take is to add some kind of positive affirmations, some self esteem suggestions. One of the reasons for doing this is partly because it is a nice thing to do to someone, anyway. The other thing is, it will tend to somehow attach the behavior; in other words, the more they engage these behaviors, the more likely it is they will become happier, stronger, more intelligent and all these other things that you suggest. So it is actually a very nice payoff for the unconscious mind to keep listening to you and following your suggestions, because the person will grow as a result. Track 9 © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 447 The COMILA formula So with the post-hypnotic suggestion protocol, you now have a very basic formula for getting action out of someone. But what if this is not enough? What if there is something in the way that interferes with things? The Motivation Problem You see, sometimes the actions you want to suggest to people can be inhibited by all kinds of other conditions which have to be overcome before the actual behavior you are trying to motivate can actually take place. Now one of the key things you can do to augment the power of your posthypnotic suggestions is to use the access state principle. Remember, the access state principle says that whenever you are in a particular state or mood, you are more likely to affect the actions or behaviors that come out of it. So if you want to change someone's behavior you change their mood first and their behavior will tend to follow naturally. Think about it this way. Let's imagine that you want to motivate your housemate or flat mate to go to the gym. Now, when that person is full of energy and enthusiastic, that is an easy thing to do. You just tweak the motivation and off they go. On the other hand, when they are feeling down or lethargic or without energy, it becomes an uphill struggle. Why is that? Because the state is in the wrong place. The wrong state for the behavior you want is in place. So in order to motivate someone you also have to start paying attention to what mood are those people in. And when you get the mood right, you will start to see the behaviors come out of it will be very simple to induce. The 2 Types Of Motivation Now let's talk a little bit about motivation at this point, because a lot of people, particularly in the motivational field, will tell you you just have to get someone excited and positive and all will work well. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 448 And to a certain extent, there is truth in that. But really, there are two primary types of motivation that people respond to. There is towards pleasure, and there is away from pain. Towards and away from. I like to call these the carrot and the stick, because it is much like motivating a donkey. You both have to hang a carrot in front of its head for it to follow, and you have to use a stick to hit on its rump if it is slowing down too much. Now every human being that you meet will have a unique combination of carrot and stick that motivates that person. To a certain extent, everybody is motivated by a little bit of both. The question is which one of the two will motivate them more? You see, someone who is very away from motivated, who needs a stick, you can paint them pictures of castles, you can offer them money or all kind of things, which they will genuinely desire and want, but they won't be motivated to do something. Their action will not change, because the state that drives the specific behavior that you need from them is something that can only be acquired through the stick, and vice versa. Some people, no matter what threats you give them, no matter how tough the situation seems to be, will not move a muscle until they start seeing the benefits, the carrot that is dangled in front of them. Most people sit somewhere in the whole spectrum in between the two. So they will need a little bit of both. It is just a question of which one do you emphasize the most. Solving The Motivation Problem With COMILA So when you come to the COMILA formula, the COMILA formula which we will be introducing right now is a way of using that motivation in order to create a very specific action in someone. So how do you do this? The “C” in COMILA stands for captivate attention. The “O” is for outflank resistance. The “M” stands for mood, in other words how you affect someone's mood. The “I” stands for intensifying that mood. The “L” stands for linking it to some new idea or new behavior pattern. And “A” stands for action. You must release whatever you are doing in some kind of action. So let's look at those in more detail for a moment. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 449 “C” Captivate Attention. That is something that hopefully you have become very familiar with by now. This is one of the bedrocks of conversational hypnosis. If you don't have people’s attention, you can't do trance processes in the way that we have been covering here. In order to use conversational hypnosis as we have created the patterns here, you must captivate someone's attention and be able to direct it into whatever outcomes you want. This is the simplest, easiest and most direct way of influencing other people. “O” Outflank Resistance The next step again is not much rocket science. It is outflanking someone's resistance. Again, we have spent the better part of the last ten CDs in teaching you how to outflank that resistance, to bypass that critical factor, to stop the interference that is going on here. Now this is critical, by the way, when it comes to using, for example, the posthypnotic suggestion protocol, because one of the things that can happen is that people have excuses for why they won't do it. In our example here, if someone does not want to go to the gym that is the resistance they are offering you. All the reasons, all the excuses, and those reasons and excuses are embedded within that critical thinking so that any ideas you present which are new will be rejected automatically. To bypass that, you must bypass the filters by confusion, by outflanking, by overloading, by whatever one of the different methods we have covered so far. “M” Mood Changes The interesting bit comes in the next stage, the M, the mood. Again, this is something you should be familiar with because on CD 5 with "Emotional Triggers," you learned all about how to create certain states of mind inside of other people. You even had a simple formula on how to use that to motivate some action. Here we are going to go into that in more depth, so in other words, when you take that mood, you are going to take it in one of two directions, the carrot or the stick. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 450 Remember, some people require a kind of pain before they will be motivated to do anything. Others will require a measure of pleasure before they get motivated to do something. And it is up to you to notice which one people respond to the most. Once you discover whether they are more motivated by pleasure or by pain, the carrot or the stick, the next question to ask yourself about what the mood is, “What kind of state is going to be ideal in generating this behavior or this kind of action?” Thinking back to the gym example, let's say that they are motivated a bit by pain, but they still need to have something more before they will go to the gym. In other words, they need to have some sort of more energetic or more excited state before they will go. So my big question, for example, being fed up--fed up has more energy in it than depressed or lethargic. So while both might be unpleasant, the one that is more likely to motivate the behavior of going to the gym is one that is going to be more high energy than a low energy one. So you have to decide those two things when designing the state, 1. Is it going to be carrot or stick? 2. What type of state is most likely to produce this behavior? When you put the two together you will have the perfect state in order to engender the behavior you want have from that person. “I” Intensify The Mood Now we can move on to the next step, which is the I, intensify. Whatever states you have, the more you intensify them, the more likely it is you will get the behavior that you want. So sometimes you may have to loop through a few times before you will have the right blend of states; the right intensity of states. Again, you can go back to CD 5 on Emotional Triggers to find out how to do that, or to refresh your memory. “L” Link The Mood The next step is the L, link it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 451 Until you can link something to something else, the state itself will only have power while you are there to motivate them with it. So the idea of linking it is you must link it to some kind of trigger points so that they can have them independently of you. So you can leave the room, leave the house, leave the state, leave the country and the behavior will still be there. “A” Action Finally, we come to A, to action. Now this is a very important step in the process. First of all you have got to make sure you release the behavior. In other words, it is not good just to create the perfect state, and knowing that it actually goes in and all that stuff if you don't have a trigger point that gets everything going. Things have to have a start button that gets everything moving. So the action phase is very, very important. And the biggest mistake people make when they do this is that they choose the wrong action to begin the sequence of behaviors. Remember you have used your personal suggestions and your states to implant the whole behavior chain already. Begin With The Little Things Now the biggest mistake people make when they try and create action is that they go straight for the big payoff. They go straight for the big mother load. Now think of it this way. Let's say you want to motivate your flat mate or housemate or roommate to wash the dishes. If you look at a sink full of dirty dishes, that becomes too much. It is an overwhelm, so they are not likely to do it. Now let's say you get some excitement into them, they are more likely to do it. But now suddenly they look over at the dishes, and that might overwhelm them all over again. So the behavior you have asked for might be too large to overcome the inertia. Imagine the following scene. You have just woken up, you are still sleepy and barely able to stand up on your own, when someone suddenly asks you to sprint at full pace down the road. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 452 Can you do it? Do you want to do it? Hell, no! Why? Because your body hasn't woken up yet, and before you can sprint at your maximum ability, you are going to have to wake up properly, maybe have a cup of coffee and have a little stretch, and maybe jog around a few times to get your blood going, and once you have done the warm ups, then maybe you will do the actual sprinting. So notice that your action, the actual sprinting, there is a whole process that happens to warm you up and prepare you for the pinnacle of that behavior. And the same way with the washing up, or any other kind of behavior. You have to have some kind of process that leads up to it in order for the actual thing itself, the main event, to take place. Now the beautiful thing is that most behaviors, the washing up behavior again, are a chain. They are a natural chain, so that when you begin one part of the behavior, the whole chain runs until it is completed. So the secret to action is to ask for the smallest step that leads someone in the direction that will release or generate the whole behavior that you want to have happen. In the case of washing up, it might be something as simple as getting them to take one plate and put it to the side, and put another plate on top of it, and then add another plate on top of that, and maybe organize the plates in a nice way, or maybe change the washing up water. Do you notice that these are all small steps that they can take, and it is not that big a deal? It is a beginning, middle and an end that they can conceptualize as being very quick and easy to do, and because of that they don't overload. Now by the time they have done this, they will have warmed up and got into the rhythm. So doing all the washing up suddenly becomes no big deal. And of course, because of the post-hypnotic suggestions and the access state principle that you have already embedded earlier on, they are likely to run the whole chain you have set up for them because you have released it with a very simple part of the action. So be very, very specific that when you come to the A part of the formula, when you finish whatever sort of influencing steps you want to take, you release it with © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 453 a very simple action which moves it in the direction that you want, and so you release the chain in a very natural sort of way. Now on the next track we are going to show you the COMILA formula in action. I am going to run you through a whole process, and here is the scenario that we have chosen for this. This is taken straight from one of my coaching sessions with a senior manager at a large firm of accountants and auditors. This man had a problem with one of his employees who was going through one of the financial examinations. The junior accountant was panicking; he hadn't done enough revision and now he thought he was going to fail his exams. Now put yourself into his shoes. How would you then motivate this poor, panic-stricken young accountant to actually sit down and get into the right state of mind to do some learning, and to learn all the vast number of things he has been putting off for all this time? Think about it carefully. How would you use the COMILA formula to get an outcome? And when you think you have an answer, listen to the next track and you will hear one way you can use the COMILA formula to inspire this person to actually start studying and take that exam. Now the only thing I will tell you in advance is that this person loved to ski, so skiing could be a good resource that you might use within the COMILA formula to motivate action. So think about that for a little while and then move on to the next track. Track 10 Demonstration of the COMILA forumla So you have been having trouble studying for your exams, and I think you just told me that you have avoided doing it for some time. And I know you are afraid you might even fail these exams now, and that is because you don't know yet that there might be one way that you can still make it. Now I know that you have done some studying and I know that there are things you already know about, just like you know that there are things you don’t know yet. And I don't know what it is that you don't know, but I do know that you don't know fully one thing, and I know that is of tremendous importance to you right now. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 454 And that is that you have been through many learning experiences in the past, and some of them you are actually incredibly curious about. Like you learned to ski in no time at all. And you probably don't know where that pleasure came from, strapping a piece of wood to your feet and throwing yourself off a mountain. How can that be fun? And yet, it really is fun to feel the rush of the wind, that cold wet snow. And sometimes it is even sunny. But the best part is how you feel inside, being at the bottom and looking at that great big mountain and you tell yourself, "Well done!" You did it. You didn't think you could beat that mountain, and yet you did. And you can take that pride and you can add it to your own enthusiasm for skiing. Because a challenge makes it all much more worthwhile. And you like challenges, don't you? Well, now you really have a challenge ahead of you and this one is about as big as a mountain. You didn't think you could make it safe to the other side, but then you know you have made it down countless mountains in the past, and many of them were much taller and steeper than this one. And I wonder, what will motivate you to get back to just reading your notes and reminding yourself of what you do know? Will it be seeing your calendar on the wall that will make you think how pleased you will be when you finally conquer this mountain? Perhaps it is the actual thrill of the exam itself and the ability to show everyone that you are up to it? Maybe it was just when you headed to bed that you decided to pick up your notes and glance through them for awhile? It is okay to stay up an extra hour; you are young enough, after all. And I don't know in how many ways you can discover the pleasure of beating that mountain for yourself. And there is so much information to remember, though I really don't know how much you will remember to forget about the problems you have had, © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 455 because when you remember the things that are important information on your notes, you will do well on your exams. You can forget about all those other things that stand in the way. And you don't have to remember to forget; just forget that you remember the problems, and you will only remember the only things of importance are the information you need for the exams. And you can forget all about the rest when you remember about those things, and remembering that now, you can forget all the things you don't need to remember anymore. Just like your car keys; they are always where you need to find them. You don't always have to remember where they are until you need to look for them. Now, there is really not much I can say, because it is really up to you now. So think about your own reasons for wanting to pass this exam. You see, you are a bright young man and you have done these things in the past. You have overcome many things in the past and done so many things. And sometimes you just have to remember to look back on your past and remember the things you have done well, because when you do that you will not just figure out you are a smart person, but you are actually someone who is really worthwhile. You pull your weight on this team relentlessly. And this is just another little hurdle you can go through and really make a difference, because it makes a difference to us how you make a difference in your own life. So the question for me to ask you right now is how many different ways are you going to get back to what you have been doing before, only this time to make sure that you are prepared properly so you have all the things you need in order to achieve the absolute best result that you can. Track 11 Breakdown of COMILA demonstration So let's break down that last process and find out all the things that are inside. Of course we were using the COMILA formula, and the first part was C stands for captivate. You have to captivate someone's attention. Now the way we did this here is again by running a yes set. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 456 A yes set kind of takes that problem and it says "These are the problems you are facing." And because they are very much in the front of that person's mind, it tends to also captivate their attention. That is one of the benefits of a yes set. I also put a little twist there at the end where you say, "And that might be because you don't know that there might be one way you can still make it.” There is a small hook which again is designed to captivate his attention. We are also using the carrot and stick method of motivation. Most of it is carrot, in other words, saying here is a slight way out. But we are also stirring up the problem, in other words, the fact that he feels like he is going to fail in order to create a little bit of a way for a motivation as well. That way we have the double motivators acting in unison in his favor. The next stage is O for outflanking the resistance or the conscious mind. The way we are doing that again is to use a bit of conversational confusion to overload the critical factor. So we are going on about what he knows and what he doesn't know, what he doesn't know he doesn’t know, and what I know he doesn’t know, and all these double negatives begin to pile up to the point where the conscious mind is going, “Okay, what is it I don’t know, you don't know, I don't know?” We are switching personalities, in other words you and I, we are switching negatives until it just becomes easier to go with the flow than try to make sense of all the little bits in between. So the next stage is to start working with the M, the mood. Now remember the mood that he is in right now is probably a very bad mood, a negative mood. It is not helping motivate him toward the exam, to study, or anything else. He is feeling anxious, he is feeling afraid, and probably feeling depressed and a little bit miserable for the fact that he has not done the work he needs to do. All these things have to be somehow cleared up. So the mood that he needs to be in is one where he needs to be more curious or motivated to learn, and maybe even inspired by the challenge. So the first thing we are going to do is activate a pleasant learning experience. We are going to use a pleasant learning experience from his past as a resource to attach to the new learning experience. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 457 In this example we know that he likes skiing, so we use skiing as that pleasant example of a learning experience, and we are beginning to activate it using that revivification process that you learned on CD 5, Emotional Triggers. We are also using a bit of humor to shake off the last bits of fear that might be left over, so when you talk about throwing yourself off a mountain, that again actually acts as a reframe, because if you can do something as crazy as that, how can something as simple as learning for an exam be a problem for them? Then we start to move on to an extended metaphor, so going back to this idea of storytelling, we are allowing the mountain to become a reframe as a symbol for the mountain he has got to climb in his own life toward the exam. And as the symbol of a mountain is actually one that he finds pleasant, it becomes more of a motivator for him to be able to climb his own mountain, or at least ski down the other side of it. At the same time we are using this as an excuse to be able to give some important embedded suggestions in the form of extended quotes. "Well done! You did it! You didn't think you could beat it, and yet you did it in the end." So notice again these are positive affirmations which can be put inside the extended quote, and because it orients them to after the exam is over, it takes away the fear of the exam because now the anticipation is one of success rather than one of failure. And you are planting that seed, although you have this dual reality, are you talking about the mountain now, or are we talking about the exams? The unconscious mind will actually take both readings and respond to it as though you are actually talking about both things at the same time. That is a nice example of using stacked realities, or multiple realities in order to suggest different things at the same time. The next point is to take the mood and intensify it. The way we have intensified it here is to use the challenge modality, in other words, make someone step up to the plate, stepping up to a kind of challenge. And because we are still staying in the skiing metaphor, we are adding the fact that the higher the mountain is, the more fun it is to master it. Someone who is a good skier is not going to go down the simple runs because they are just no fun anymore. They have to keep challenging themselves to keep that learning experience interesting. So this again becomes an instant reframe for the challenge he has faced with the learning experience itself, while at the same time intensifying the mood because © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 458 when something is more challenging, you have got to be more focused and dedicated to get results. The next step will be to link this to the desired action. It is all well and good having the resources ready and bubbling, but until they are actually linked to the outcome, the actual action required, which in this sense is to learn things, and then they don't become very useful. And we are going to use this link at the same time as we reframe the original problem, and we are going to use the metaphor of the mountain to do that. Remember, the mountain is the dual reality we spoke of a moment ago. So we start off by planting the seed of this mountain being the metaphor for the mountain he will have to climb before the exam. Now we are making it more express. So again when you see the concept of starting off with planting seeds of ideas and then coming back to them later on and using them more overtly. The next step will be to use that link and link that to a specific action, and the way we are going to use action here is to use a post-hypnotic suggestion for them to start studying; to start learning. Again, we are using the post-hypnotic suggestion protocol that we have discussed here, which is to say we are going to give him open ended suggestions so that there are many different points at which the post-hypnotic suggestions can take effect and the study can begin. So we are giving him the chance to open and read his notes, to remind themselves when they see the calendar, to do it before they go to bed. All these other activities are trigger points now for the post-hypnotic suggestion to take effect. The important thing here is that we are leaving it open ended, because in this way they will begin to generalize, so then things we have never suggested in the first place start becoming trigger points for the same post-hypnotic suggestion, which means they start studying more and more, and in more and more different environments. So because we have been using the post-hypnotic suggestion, we should use a post-hypnotic suggestion protocol as well, which means the next step is to induce amnesia. Because this is just to stop them interfering until the post-hypnotic suggestion has time to really have a seed planted and grow inside. So we are using a little amnesia now so we can distract their attention away from the actual suggestions and the stuff we have been doing, and talk about forgetting the right things and remembering the other things. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 459 Of course, the suggestions for forgetting can also be used to reinforce the memory for the learning experience they have to make before they can go into the exam. Finally, we will finish the whole thing off with some positive suggestions about their personality, about who they are, their self esteem. This allows the whole package to be wrapped up in a very pleasant and positive frame of mind, so the more they think about learning, the more positive that experience becomes for them. Okay, now we have broken down the whole pattern according to COMILA formula. It is time for you to go back again to the previous track and re-listen to it, and see how much of the things we have been talking about you can spot as you listen to it. You should now be able to hear the language being put together, you should hear the frames being set, you should hear the changes in paces and tonality. You should hear all the things you have been learning so far being embedded inside the things we are doing. This is an important part of your learning process, because when you can hear it in someone else's suggestions that means you can start doing it as well. Track 12 Ex.1 Exercise 1 Now it is time for the exercises. For this CD I have only really got one exercise for you to do, and that is to take each of the formulas and start using them in practice with real people in ordinary conversations. The reason for this is because you have all the skills you need now; it is just a question of putting these into practice. Remember, if in doubt, always come back to the LIFE checklist. It is the simplest and easiest way to make sure you are keeping your skills and using them in all the conversations you are having. Other than that, enjoy mastering both the PCAT formula and the COMILA formula for getting the changes you want from people. Track 13 End of CD 11 Congratulations! © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 460 You have come to the end of CD 11. On the next CD, CD 12, "How to Master Conversational Hypnosis" you will learn how to put together everything you have learned so far together into a very simple and elegant package. We will show you step by step how the skills you have learned as individual pieces fit together until you get to the point of complete mastery, which is where you have put all these processes together into one beautifully and embellished and sophisticated whole. You will enjoy CD 12 a lot, because you will learn how to strip everything down into the absolute simplest basics, and then add one layer at a time so that whatever you do, you are mastering each and every part of the process. By the time you come to the final set of exercises on CD 12, you too will be a complete master of Conversational Hypnosis. So I look forward to meeting you again on the final CD of this Conversational Hypnosis Home Study Program. Until then, enjoy learning Conversational Hypnosis. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 461 CONVERSATIONAL HYPNOSIS BONUS CD4 Top Secret: Breaking the Hypnotic Storyteller Code Track 1 Welcome Welcome to this Bonus CD entitled “Top Secret: Breaking the Hypnotic Storyteller Code.” On this CD we’re going to take the induction that you heard on the other Bonus CD [3], “Conversational Hypnosis in Action: the Super Hypnotic Storyteller Induction.” And we’re going to break that down piece by piece. We’ll analyze the language, the stories inside it, the structure, and the trance processes that are built inside of it just so you understand fully and completely how a complete hypnotic interaction can sound and how you can take all of the skills and tools that you’ve arduously practiced and learned and put it into a very powerful hypnotic process. I hope you enjoy the concept that you're about to find out here because we’re going to study this to a depth that very few hypnotists are capable of. So as soon as you are ready to do that just sit back, relax and enjoy learning conversational hypnosis. Track 2 Introduction Before we look at the breakdown of the storytelling induction that you’ve just heard I want to tell you that you almost didn’t receive this CD. You see, what we’re about to do in this breakdown is to go into so much depth and reveal so many things that I really wasn’t planning to give away this much. Originally the way the CDs were planned was that CD 9 would have a short set of stories about 20 minutes in length and they would correspond directly to the things that we’ve been talking about on that CD. As time went by and it grew I decided to make the stories longer and more complicated to give you more of an appreciation about everything you’ve been learning. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 462 So this breakdown is in fact top secret in the sense that I would not normally reveal this kind of information unless someone had been studying hypnosis and conversational hypnosis for quite some time. So I really hope you enjoy and appreciate the things that we will be covering here. Some of them will be immensely in depth and very specialized. Don’t concern yourself about those too much, because get out of these CDs as much as you can do. One of the reasons that I decided to pack this one so full of information and the hypnotic storyteller induction so full of different processes, is so you have an example of something that you can keep coming back to over and over and over again As your skill levels improve, as your learnings increase, you’ll come back and everything you will be doing will seem to be more and more straightforward. It's my hope that in time you'll be able to listen through all the stories and the breakdown of those stories and say to yourself, “Well, that was easy. That was kind of straightforward.” When this becomes totally straightforward to you then you know you’ve got a really high level of skill. I really hope that when we go through the breakdown in a moment, everything I say will seem very straightforward and matter of fact to you. If that is the case then I have done my job well and you have probably been doing all of your exercises. Let’s go straight into the first level of the breakdown of the Super Hypnotic Story Teller Induction. Track 3 Breakdown of the nested loops The first level for you to look at will be the actual stories contained within the Hypnotic Story Teller Induction. Now there are five different stories, five different loops that I embedded within that construct. The five stories are 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. The example of my hypnotizing people when I first learned hypnosis, The Story of Jongleur--The Improvisational Theatre Workshop. The Storyteller’s Story. The Golden Ram and the Wise Ewe. And finally The Martha Story. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 463 These are the five stories that have been embedded within the whole hypnotic construct. Now the reason that I chose those five stories is very specific. The reason is that I wanted to give you an example of as many different types of stories as possible. You see, conversational hypnosis and the stories that you tell within can take all kinds of different streams, all kinds of different forms. I don’t want you to get hooked into doing one particular way or another particular way because if you only get stuck with one way of telling stories your expression will be limited. Story Loop 1: Examples – My First Attempts At Hypnosis The first way we started was to use a simple example. Remember the example I gave you was one when I first learned to use hypnosis? It’s a very short example. It is short for a very specific reason. The specific reason is 1. Number one, it allows you to be drawn into the story a little bit without being too overloading. 2. Number two, it gives you an example of a short story still making an impact. This is important because in conversational settings most of your nested loops will actually, believe it or not, be very short stories that you throw in there a minute or two at a time. The first story was a simple example of that. Story Loop 2: Anecdotes – Jongleurs The second story in our loop was actually an anecdote. It’s a real experience out of life but it's actually a story that happened to me. So, the difference between one and the other is just the level of content that you're trying to give. I could have turned the simple example of my trying to hypnotize someone and doing terribly into a little story. I could have described who was there and how it was happening. I could have expanded on it. So we've taken the seed of a simple example and we've turned it into an anecdote so it has already story type forms within it. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 464 Story Loop 3: Direct Stories – The Storyteller The next structure that we use is what I call a direct story. When you think back to the storyteller, the boy going into the market square, listening to the old wise men and women telling their stories, that itself has got all the hallmarks of a pure story. Hopefully no one that listens to that story will think it's anything other than something that’s been invented because it has been created and it has all the hallmarks of a story that was invented. So you can compare that to the anecdote of experiences of Jongleurs [Story Loop 2]. You'll notice that the two are very different. Story Loop 4: Fairy Tales – The Golden Ram & Wiser Ewe Next we also have a fairy tale. The fairy tale is the story of The Golden Ram and the Wise Ewe. Now the reason I wanted to include a fairy tale is because it can be again a very powerful form of storytelling. One reason that fairy tales can be so powerful is because we've all grown up listening to fairy tales so in some respect we have a kind of conditioned response there already. When we hear a story that is formed in the form of a fairy tale we kind of have a little regression inside ourselves. We create a kind of hypnotic experience for ourselves so a little bit of the charm and the magic that you had as a child can come back out again. Notice also how this story was introduced. It was introduced in a way that allowed you as an adult to take part in the story without it feeling odd in some way. Another way that could be introduced is if you tell those kinds of fairy tales to children but you really aim the effect at the adults in the room. So fairly tales can be a very powerful story device but don’t get stuck with them because you can tell many different types of stories and all of them will have a very powerful effect. Story Loop 5: Semi-Direct Stories – Martha’s Attic The final story, The Martha Story, is again an example of a direct story. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 465 Again it is somewhere in between the genuine story and a made up story. The way I've told it seems obvious that it was made up because a made up character, the storyteller, tells that particular story. The thing is though, because it's such a halfway house, I could quite easily turn it into a genuine anecdote. In other words there will be experiences similar to this one in my own personal experience in my own life that I could use to create the same kind of effect. Whether I'm telling a direct story or presenting a genuine anecdote, both of them can be expanded upon to create a more hypnotic content. So now you have a series of expansions going on. The first and the shortest example is the pure example that I gave right at the beginning. Then we have a slightly longer version which is the anecdote, the experience of Jongleurs. Next we have another story, a direct story this time which is again roughly the same length, maybe a little bit longer than Jongleurs. The next story is the fairy tale, The Golden Ram and the Wise Ewe. This one is again longer than any of the preceding stories. Finally we have the experience with Martha which is the longest of the whole lot. So again you should have an example there of how you can take a simple idea, a small story, an example of something and you can increasingly expand on it to make it as short or as long as you want. Remember we said before, stories can last five minutes or they can last several hours. It doesn’t matter which of the two it is. It’s your skill at storytelling that really matters. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 466 Track 4 Breakdown of structure & sequence Now let's look at the same story in terms of structure and sequencing. The first thing I want you to notice is that we followed pretty much the same structure as we talked about in terms of nested loops. In other words open one story, open the second story, third story, fourth story, fifth story, etc., But there is a slight variation. Use Of Mini Loops Inside of Nested Loops Remember I told you at a master level of loops you don’t want to be stuck at a rigid pattern of open one loop, open another loop, open another loop, close loop, close loop, close loop because that’s too regimented. In natural conversation natural storytellers will open several loops, close some, open some more, close some more and while in general it will follow that structure of that inverted pyramid that we talked about, really it's still more free flowing than that. So to give you an example of this I've actually changed the structure a little bit on this hypnotic storyteller induction and I've opened story one. I've opened story two. I've opened story three. Then I ran through story four and I used story three and four as being another mini loop. So I opened story four, then I created some suggestion. Then we closed story four. We carried on with story three. Now story four is complete. Story four is a completely formed bubble embedded within story three. Next we moved on to story five from a continuation of story three so now story five is taking the place of what would normally have been story four. At the middle point of story five we have the process, the trance process itself and then we come back out in reverse order, story five, story three now, two and one. You go straight from story five to story three because story four is already done. It's already finished. It's part of a different loop system. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 467 So I've given you a slightly more colourful loop structure so you can see that you can create stories in many different ways. All that matters is that you open and close loops in the same sequence. Sometimes you can create these bubbles of stories within stories. How to design and create the stories Now in terms of how I sequence these stories, how I created them I looked at actually story three first of all, the storyteller inside the story. That’s because it was inspired by the very title “The Hypnotic Storyteller Induction” because it’s all to do with what I'm trying to achieve here. Then I wanted to create an introduction to that so it flows smoothly from a natural experience. Which is what created the second story which is The Jongleur Story, the improvisational theatre story. Then I wanted to attach yet another story at the beginning of that to lead the way in, which was the Example. The example does many things. It uses the piggyback principle in order to pace and match the experience that you’ve been having up to that point so that it hooks you in and prepares you for the journey that’s about to come. Now two of the stories, The Story of the Storyteller and the fairy tale of The Golden Ram and the Wise Ewe, both of these were totally created fresh from scratch. So I used exactly the same processes that you learned on CD 7, “How to Destroy Resistance with Stories, Part One”, in order to create those particular stories. All I had in my mind was a sense of a theme. The storyteller came first because there was a theme going on there that I wanted to embed inside of your mind, this idea of what storytelling is about and the process you go through to do that. The story of The Golden Ram and the Wise Ewe came about because of an ambiguity that we’ll cover a little bit more, to do with the Wise Ewe. In case you haven’t worked it out already, the word “ewe’ means a female sheep but I'm also talking about “you”, the person listening to me. It's a lovely ambiguity to be able to use as part of the process. So I wanted to tell a story that had that ambiguity built into it as well which is what inspired me in creating that particular story. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 468 The first two stories, the example of my using hypnosis for the first time and the example of going to the storytelling workshop at Jongleurs, both of those have come from my own personal history, my own experience. They seem to fit the themes that were beginning to evolve naturally. So far we have four of the stories. The fifth story is actually a bit of a cheat on my account because I've taken that straight from the work of Milton Erickson. The first time I encountered The Martha Story was from my own mentor, John Overdurf, in the middle of a seminar that he presented to us. I really loved the story all the way through particularly because I had the personal effect of it and all the things that are being built into it are very, very clever. This was first created by Milton Erickson as part of his therapeutic techniques, his therapeutic storytelling repertoire. So I took that story, I adapted it to fit the kind of content, the kind of purpose and outcome that I had in mind for this particular induction sequence and I presented it to you as a kind of acknowledgment of the past, of the history where it all comes from and particularly of past masters like Milton Erickson, so that you have an example of his work within my work and of course my variation of his work. Key Insight: Make Stories Adaptable So notice how this is yet another example of how stories are living creatures which will adapt and evolve to fit the circumstances, to fit the environment that you’re in. Now, had we been in the same room together in a live physical environment the story would be different yet again because I would be building in different cues according to how you are responding, how you are feeling and part of the interaction that we've had up to that point would have somehow been included in that. So, stories are very rich and very live experiences that can be capturing the moment, while at the same time achieving many different outcomes. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 469 Track 5 Breakdown of the trance processes The next layer I want to look at is the one of the trance processes involved. You'll find all of the information that we’re about to use on CD 11, “Conversational Trance Formulas: How to Get What You Want.” So, remember, one of the things I was trying to do here was I had a specific outcome on mind. The outcome was to help you change from someone who doesn’t tell stories naturally into becoming a hypnotic storyteller. That’s one of the things I've been involved in here, to put in the strategies, the ways of thinking and all of the things you need to have in order to be a natural hypnotic storyteller. I use the PCAT formula for personal change in order to help you instil those particular things. The PCAT formula is the 1. 2. 3. 4. Problem, Confuse, Access resources and Transform. Step 1: Set The Parameters So we began by a general orientation, a setting of the framework by talking about becoming a master of conversational hypnosis. What it does is it creates the frame, the parameters in which everything else will take place. Your unconscious mind will now understand the whole of the communication in terms of how can I become a master of conversational hypnosis. Step 2: The Problem The next step which was the first story is all about activating the problem. The problem really is going to be that people who have listened to the program are going to feel somehow a little bit anxious, a little nervous, some kind of performance anxiety that they might not be able to come out with the words at the right time when the whole thing happens. Step 3: Confuse So now we come up to the next stage of the PCAT formula, Confuse. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 470 We’re going to overload the conscious mind so that we can get straight to unconscious interactions. We have two layers of confusion things going on here. The first one is they are talking about “security” and “insecurity”. We’re using the double pun, the ambiguity about being “in security”, in other words inside security or having insecurity, in other words feeling insecure in some ways. The next level of confusion happens with this idea of what do we mean by mastering conversational hypnosis? Already we have some confusion language going on there which we will look at a little bit more once we look at the actual language patterns within the stories. So now we've created a layer of confusion which also has embedded within it some suggestions like using the other mind, etc. Step 4: Activate Resources The next stage will be to begin to activate solutions. So the activation of solution begins with the second story, the story about Jongleurs, the improvisational theatre workshop that I attended. Notice again that I'm still playing a little bit with some confusion patterns just to make sure that everything kind of blends together nicely. So when we’re talking about being “right and left and left right in the middle of the whole thing”. It's already kind of mirroring the same kind of stuff we were doing before in a lighter way to kind of season your way into or move your way gently into the next phase. Step 5: Start Hypnotic Induction Then we begin with an induction. The first phase of activating resources is to create an informal induction so that you go inside and find resources. So you have the repetition of words like inside, going inside. These are instructions to the unconscious mind. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 471 Resource Layer 1: Relax & Take It Easy Once we have a nice, pleasant trance beginning to occur, the first level of resources are activated with words like “just relax, take it easy and let your unconscious mind do the work.” Notice that these become emotional triggers that are being said which begins the process of activating resources. That’s the first layer of resources. Resource Layer 2: Seed Idea For Being A Great Storyteller The next layer of resources occurs with the storytelling. There are two purposes to the storyteller’s story. The first one matches your experience as the audience, the person listening, by talking about first of all wanting to become a storyteller. So there is already an anticipation building that a solution of some sort will come. The second layer is to give some hint as to the direction where that solution will come from. So we talk about the embedded suggestion. “Listen to the story about The Wise Ewe.” The Wise Ewe story is going to have embedded within it some of the ideas of the core concept of our being a good storyteller. Resource Layer 3: Get Inspired To Tell Stories Of course later on we come back to this idea of what a good storyteller is when we find out where do you get inspiration from for your actual stories? There again the Story of Martha helps because you find out as we come onto in a moment how you can get the inspiration or the seed of an idea that will become your stories. Resource Layer 4: Isomorphic Metaphor – The Allegory Of A Wiser Ewe (You!) The next story is that of The Golden Ram and the Wiser Ewe. This is in essence an allegory. An allegory is a story which matches people’s experiences in the terms of its structure so that you can see a reference point on how to change yourself. In this allegory I won’t give away all the meanings of the different characters but essentially we have the ram and the ewe. Of course we call the ewe the Wiser Ewe because there’s a nice ambiguity about who we are talking about. We’re talking about your unconscious mind. That’s the Wiser Ewe (“You”). © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 472 Now the ram in essence represents then your conscious mind, the one that wants to have all this veneer of social acceptance, look good and be accepted while the Wiser Ewe knows how to really live life and enjoy things. Of course, all of the things that happen to the ram as the result of trying to live up to other people’s expectations versus how the ewe resolves the actual problems creates a nice analogy between the balance between the conscious and the unconscious mind. There are other things buried inside there which I'm going to invite you to take your time to look through and think about and find for yourself because part of the charm of the stories is you don’t get told what they mean. You’ve got to find your own meaning inside of them. The beauty is your unconscious mind will find more meaning inside them than you can find consciously. Once you’ve exhausted what you think is all the conscious content within these stories you'll find that your unconscious mind has even more things to find and even more ways to learn about life from those things. Step 6: Transform Resource Layer 5: Embedded Suggestions – Trust Your Unconscious Now the next thing that’s happened is that we have the first series of embedded suggestions of the actual transformational process. That has come in the form of very direct suggestions. Now these direct suggestions are all about the power of the unconscious mind and the wisdom of the unconscious mind. Already they parallel a lot of the things that you’ve learned from the story, the allegory, the fairy tale that preceded it. Now we’re pulling the lessons out a little bit more formally while still reasonably indirectly in the setting of the language. It’s a very soft set of language. The other thing that these things do is it gives the unconscious mind instructions of where to find inspiration for stories and your consciousness the direction that you need to trust your unconscious mind in order to make up these stories and to flow naturally as a storyteller. All of that is within the few short paragraphs of very direct suggestions of being more childlike. Also suggestions to trust your unconscious mind, because that has all the resources, explaining that the unconscious has all the memories you’ve gathered over the years because you can't remember all those things consciously. So when you start trusting the unconscious of course all of those resources come back to life and that’s where the storyteller’s real fodder comes from. Your information, your facts, your skills, everything is embedded inside there. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 473 Once that sequence is gone through we finish the story of The Golden Ram and the Wise Ewe. We create a complete loop at that point. Then we come back onto the third story which is The Storyteller Story. Step 6: Activate More Resources Now that we've set the ground work of how to become a good storyteller, which is to trust your unconscious, the question still comes which is, what stories do you tell? We've got the idea of where the skill comes from but where are the actual ideas coming from for the stories? That’s what the second sequence is all about. The storyteller introduces the Story of Martha. Now the Story of Martha does many things at the same time. One of the things that the Story of Martha does is it helps you to unclutter all the internal clutter that you’ve had inside yourself. Step 7: Transform Part 2 – The Parallel Process Now in contrast to the direct suggestions embedded in story four which is all about trusting the unconscious mind, the story in The Martha Story, the trance process embedded in The Martha Story is a very different kind of trance process. It's called a parallel process. So this parallel process is telling you to do certain things inside your mind but it sounds like it is part of the story. Deeper Meaning 1 So in the Martha Story, going inside the attic is the equivalent of the unconscious mind going through all your memories and experiences and sorting your memories and experiences into the same three piles. Piles are the rubbish you get rid of. Those are the traumas, the anxieties, the fears, all the bad stuff that’s happened to you. Deeper Meaning 2 Then you have a pile of stuff that you no longer need. Those are the lessons you’ve learned in life and they may well have come from unpleasant experiences but they are still important lessons for you. You want to take those things and you want to put them to another side to give away. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 474 Those are the gifts you give to people. In other words, you no longer are being held back by those things because they happened but you take the learnings and you move on. As you move on you let other people have the advantage of learning with you. Deeper Meaning 3 Finally you have the final pile of the stuff you take with you. Those are your current beliefs, your current desires, the current things that you want to achieve in life. That’s going to be a much lighter load, which again is another metaphor for taking the weight off of your shoulders. Now we have the complete sequence including a second transformational process. Up until this point we've been accessing resources all the way through to the end of story four. The resources are to just relax and take it easy, trust your unconscious mind and be more childlike. These are all the resources we've been building up. We come on to story five and go through that trance process that Martha has in cleaning up her attic, at that point you have the whole transformation taking place so you're also talking to the unconscious and saying, “Let’s take all these other resources you’ve had here and apply them.” Letting Go Finally of course we go through the whole goodbye ritual, letting go of the past so you can move on to the future. So far we've gone through the whole PCAT formula. Now it's time to come back out again and do a little bit of future pacing, of future memories of how these things will work out in practice. Finding Inspiration The first thing that happens is you're closing the fifth story and in closing the fifth story you're also planting the seed of where all your stories will come from in the future. Where do they come from? Well, of course they come from your own life lessons, the experiences you’ve had yourself. Those are the most powerful ways of finding stories that affect and influence other people. The Story of Martha was very nicely adapted to create that. Of course the Storyteller and archetype for the very thing that you want to become yourself, reveals the answer you’ve been looking for all along. You’ve created a whole amount of tension in the terms of psychological drama that’s built up to a point and at the release of this is the way you find your stories. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 475 All the other things, all the other trance formations suddenly take effect. Then it's just a question of looking to the future about how easy things will be when you're doing all the things that we've been talking about. Summary So those are the trance processes that have been embedded inside each of the stories and takes you through a whole journey from the beginning where you have a problem through confusing your mind a little bit and allowing the trance to take part. So you have confusion and trance induction side by side. Then you go through a whole rigmarole of building up resources, building up resources, building up resources until you get to the point of transformation. So we use the PCAT formula from CD 11 as a way of structuring the actual metaphors. We've also used the same formula in essence inside the Story of Martha, showing you how to clear up all the clutter inside your mind by creating a metaphorical resolution. Track 6 Breakdown of the hypnotic language – part 1-3 So let's turn now and look at the language that’s been embedded inside of this conversational hypnosis story. As we look at the language I strongly recommend that you go and turn to your transcript so you can follow along piece by piece what we’re doing. We are really going to take apart word by word the things that we've been doing so you have a real appreciation of how much has been built into what you’ve been listening to. The easiest way to keep track of that is to go back to the transcript and then line by line follow through as we break down the language into what it means and what we can do with it. The language is really the meat of what makes the whole thing work. We are going to look at the language in the terms of many different levels. The three basic layers we’re going to look at are 1. embedded suggestions, 2. ambiguities and sudden confusion tactics in order to bypass the conscious mind and be more hypnotic, 3. frames and controlling frames. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 476 To a certain extent all of these things will blend together and also create certain hybrids and additional uses of language, but those will be the most common themes that we’re going to look at over the course of this process. Deconstructing Paragraph 1-3 Embedded Suggestions The very first embedded suggestion starts right at the beginning and we’re in the first sentence of the actual induction. I put it in there just to remind you that even though you're looking for it you may not normally find it. The very first embedded suggestion that comes out of my mouth is instructions for you to like me. So how did I get this in? The very first sentence was, “Now if you’re anything like me,” The instructions are, “If you're anything like me”. So notice already how we’re using ambiguities. The words like me in a sense of comparison and the ambiguity of like me in a sense of to be pleasantly disposed towards me. Using those ambiguities really allows us from the very beginning to establish a kind of context for what's going to happen. Preframing Now the next thing that happens is were setting the frame. We are preframing the entire piece, the entire conversational hypnosis storytelling interaction. How do we preframe it? We’re talking about you are probably wondering how you can master conversational hypnosis. I’m doing a bit of educated guess work at that point. You wouldn’t be listening to conversational hypnosis CDs, particularly this far through the program, unless you had a serious interest in it. If you would like to be good at it you may as well learn to master it. But until I say that, until I remind you that mastery is a possibility you may or may not actually be thinking about that, much that if I remind you of your left foot and the sensations of your big left toe. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 477 Notice how just reminding you of that is already sending your awareness down that road. Your awareness actually rests in that big left toe. In the same way I am actually sending your awareness to rest on how you can master conversational hypnosis. I set the frame. This is now the context. All the stories you are going to hear, all the embedded suggestions, everything will refer back to this opening phrase. That was one type of preframe, a very bold kind of preframe. I've also set another frame in a very casual sort of way a little later on. I talk about because my signal recognition system wasn’t as good as yours, I hypnotized my first subject perfectly and then ruined it by feeling insecure. Notice how there I have presumed, I preframed that your signal recognition system is good and at least better than mine was when I first started to learn hypnosis. I’m using that as a guiding piece for your unconscious mind. Now you have a standard to live up to which is one that was better than I was. The subtlety that is in that of course is that there is an implied suggestion, that is to say if you started off with better hypnotic skills than I did, that means that you must be able to get at least as good a result out of hypnosis as I have managed to do over time, if not become a better hypnotist than I am myself. As soon as your unconscious mind accepts that as a possibility it later on can become more of a reality because that’s the frame that you're coming from. You're beginning to assume that as a very real thing. Ambiguous Messages The next level of language that’s being used is all around the pun of security and insecurity. Of course we’re playing with that in part as the confusional pattern to get the conscious mind out of the way but the other thing that we’re doing is we’re setting up an emotional trigger, a hypnotic trigger that the word insecurity and the whole concept attached to it gets broken up inside and becomes one which is attached and only leads to feelings of security. We have an embedded suggestion of being “in security”. So when you're “in security” you already notice the ambiguity is beginning to lead away from the original insecurity. You also have a very direct suggestion, feeling that secure. Notice how we’ve started the whole process off here and we’re doing several things at the same time. © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 478 It’s important that you realize this because you can actually make one communication really do a lot of things. We’re simultaneously setting up the piece of work that’s going to come later as well as using the confusion technique in order to bypass the critical factor and make the next stage on the hypnosis section. The next thing that we’re using here is also an ambiguity in terms of your language. Later on in the same phraseology we’re talking about whenever you feel insecure about the skills in the future you can just, “Go ahead right into trance.” That’s called a run-on sentence. You don’t normally run that sentence through. “Go ahead and do something” is one sentence. “Head right into trance” is a separate sentence but because that word head appears in both of them I have cut both sentences off between those lines of the word head. When I’ve put them together it jumps your mind through from one to the other. That jump makes your consciousness again jump offline because it can’t quite keep up with what's going on. By the time it's caught up the true suggestion is there, which is to let your other mind secure the learnings. Track 7 Breakdown of the hypnotic language – part 4 So far we've covered just the opening three paragraphs. That’s the opening gambit that begins and introduces all the stories that are to follow. Deconstructing Paragraph 4 In the fourth paragraph we begin the process of the actual induction. We begin to suggest a process that we’re going to do. Remember the end of paragraph three we gave the instruction to go right into trance. Now we’re going to start again. Preframing Now the first thing that happens in the fourth paragraph is we’re setting a subtle frame. We say, “I’m not sure the best place is to master conversational hypnosis.” © Igor Ledochowski www.Conversational-Hypnosis.com 479 The reason that’s a very subtle frame is now you're questioning, if at all, it’s going to be whether or not the place we’re beginning to master conversational hypnosis i