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The-Nicest-Guy-and-His-Lonely-Penis

The-Nicest-Guy-and-His-Lonely-Penis - The Nicest Guy and...

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The Nicest Guy and His Lonely Penis Phil Torcivia Published on Smashwords Copyright 2011 Phil Torcivia Cover Sketch by Mervin Kaunda Like me on Facebook: Facebook.com/SuchaNiceGuy Follow Phil on Twitter: Twitter.com/PhilTorcivia Follow Syd on Twitter: Twitter.com/SydTorcivia Follow Symon on Twitter: Twitter.com/SymonTorcivia Blog: PhilTorcivia.blogspot.com Author website: Torcivia.com Nothing in this book is true except my desire to cover my ass with this statement. Smashwords Edition, Licensing Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work. Phil & Testes Plus 500,000,000 You think the Gosselins have it tough? Bah. I have millions of little ones to worry about. Imagine taking care of such a brood. Sure, they are tiny and spend most of their days swimming, but I’m exhausted trying to keep up with them. There’s keeping them safe, feeding, and taking them out to play, just to name a few of the draining activities. I take my children with me everywhere I go, even to the gym. Although Daddy loves the stationary bike and sauna, my little ones are none too impressed. I tell them a happy daddy is the best daddy so sometimes they need to suck it up and take one for the team. If Daddy stops working out then they will not get to spend as much time doing their favorite activity: egg hunting. Oh, my boys can’t get enough of that. They don’t want one Easter a year either. Nope, not my boys. Every weekend is Easter in their minds. Good Friday? Every Friday. I have to be careful when I drink alcohol because I sometimes neglect my children, and they beg me to come out and play. Nag, nag, nag. They start looking for eggs where there are few to be found. Sometimes Daddy meets a nice woman his age. You’d think the boys would be happy. Nope. I explain (in my baby voice) that older women have more experience with them and are more fun to play with. Yet, when the boys get involved, they whine and complain that she doesn’t play nice. Her eggs are too hard to find. My children are always up before I am in the morning. God, what I would give to be able to sleep in. Sometimes I take them out to play right before bedtime, hoping to tire them out. They love to watch TV, but Daddy loves sports, and they have no interest. We end up watching their favorite shows as I try to tire them out, but still in the morning it’s “We’re
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up, Daddy, get up!” and no more sleep for me. I tell them I have to pee, but they won’t let me. They want to play first. How exhausting.
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