workshop 3

workshop 3 - and quotes. The quotes clearly back up your...

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Kaleigh Cohen Adam Samaan First Impressions My first impression on your paper was there are very good points, but I think that you can expand on these ideas. Due to the fact, that this is only a section of your essay, I am not sure what the introduction and the thesis statement is. Furthermore, you definitely put a lot of time into finding your sources and have good supporting quotes. I want to believe that the main idea of your paper is the difference of language when translated from different languages to English. Reread/Revisit First Impressions A) After reading your paper for the third time I am still convinced that your main argument is the difficulty of translating poems along with the fact that the meaning is changed or is not when translated. This idea is supported by good quotes and you show research about language in poetry. B) At this stage of the paper I see many strengths, but there are still some ideas that can be developed further. A strength that dominated your paper is the research
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Unformatted text preview: and quotes. The quotes clearly back up your argument. You have also done a fair amount of research, which shows the reader that you know what youre talking about. Overall, you have done a very good job on finding evidence and backing it up. Making Suggestions for Revision A) After reading over Walks lexicon I think you should focus on analysis and conventions. To begin, you definitely have good analysis, but I think your paper will become much stronger if you went I little deeper and added a few more lines of analysis. For example, your paragraphs have more definitions then analysis. Furthermore, your paper is mechanically sound with few or little grammar errors. One slight adjustment might be replacing some words with others. Not a serious problem, but I think it could make your paper more fluid. Overall, it is a good paper and needs few minor adjustments to make it complete....
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workshop 3 - and quotes. The quotes clearly back up your...

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