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wikifinal - As we have talked about in class the biggest...

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As we have talked about in class, the biggest jump in a relationship happens when a couple decides to become serious. One of the biggest transitions in a relationship involves the First Big Fight or FBF for short. The journal defines the first big fight as “an episode of conflict during which partners recall discussing for the first time certain feelings, doubt, disappointments, expectations, ideals, and/or assessments about their relationships” (p. 345). One type of conflict is arguments which are important to our research. The FBF is important because it can either crush or improve a relationship. The positives of a FBF are that it can bring a couple closer together. On the other hand, these arguments can cause a couple to realize that that they have problems that cannot be resolved (Seigert & Stamp, 1994). The purpose of this study was to find out why people survived or didn’t survive their FBF. The participants that were studied were split into three groups. The first group was couples who survived their first big fight. The second group was couples who have yet to have a FBF. The third group was people who had decided to terminate their relationship after a FBF. The people where then interviewed about their experiences. The researchers found three general results after a FBF: clarification of feelings, increased sense of awareness, and thematic conflict (Seigert & Stamp, 1994). The result that affects a relationship positively is clarification of feelings. Clarification of feelings can be characterized as constructive arguments. When couples clarify their feelings during a FBF, they express how they feel about each other and their status as boyfriend and girlfriend. This clarification gave couples the confidence that their relationship was heading the right direction (Seigert & Stamp, 1994).
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This journal did not explicitly explain destructive arguments, but it did explain why people did not survive their first big fights. Although these people may not have had destructive arguments, usually one member of the couple was shocked by the behavior of the other member during their argument. Another destructive characteristic of people who broke up after their FBF was that they often times did not want to address the issues that were causing problems in their relationship. These people did not think that these issues were critical and they thought these issues would eventually dissolve (Seigert & Stamp, 1994). Many studies have been conducted regarding disagreements within relationships. These studies always find that arguments and disagreements are inevitable within the relationships. This concept does not exclude romantic relationships. Two articles that discuss this concept in line with romantic relationships are “When “negative” behaviors go positive” and “Resolution of Disagreements Between Romantic Partners, Among Adolescents, and Young Adults.” These articles indicate that disputes are not only inevitable, but also possibly key to the relationships. “Resolution of Disagreements”
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