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h - VitalSmarts suggests that when seeking to improve a...

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VitalSmarts suggests that when seeking to improve a relationship or situation through a crucial conversation, the place to start is with yourself. What are their tips for getting your heart in the right place? (“We Need to Talk” under heading Vital Skills: Me First!) Take an honest look at our own behavior Examine your motives Determine how you should behave to get desired results Determine what not to say to avoid needless offense and misunderstanding Monitor your emotions and responses A feeling of safety, say the VitalSmarts experts, is the most essential element of an effective crucial conversation. What are six ideas for promoting safety in a touchy interaction? (“We Need to Talk” under heading Vital Skills: Play It Safe) 1. Agree on a mutual purpose for the conversation 2. Choose your words and gestures carefully 3. Be on the lookout for signs that others feel threatened 4. When negative emotions arise, step out of the conversation long enough to restore safety 5.
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