lastjournal - because they were the very things that were...

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Casey Gresh Journal #6 This past semester has been completely unexpected. I came here, to University of Maryland, College Park, as a totally different person than I am sitting here writing this right now. When I arrived here I was somewhat exclusively seeing a boy that I had been seeing for the past three years, and up to this very day I don’t even talk to him anymore. I consistently hang out with a small group of close-knit individuals who I have grown to love. I think into the second month of my coming here, something broke through for me. I realized that while it is important to make people around you happy and to be selfless, if you are not happy yourself or with yourself, then the whole process is pointless. So I purged myself of the toxicity in my life, as hard as it possibly was, and I sit here today on the way to happiness. Right now I realize that it was not the people I would miss,
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Unformatted text preview: because they were the very things that were making me unhappy, but it was the mere change that I was afraid of. I was scared of losing that comfort zone and having to be vulnerable around other people that I barely knew and could possibly not accept me. And now I also realize that not all people are entirely evil or bad, perhaps those toxic in my life were making me believe so. Perhaps they made me believe that I wasn’t good enough for anyone else and that everyone else would judge me. But it turns out that no one is perfect, and coming into college and a new atmosphere, everyone is in the exact same boat. At times I do look back and miss my old life, I had a wonderful high school experience, but as of now I am only looking forward. Perhaps one day I will just maybe achieve self-actualization....
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This note was uploaded on 11/07/2011 for the course UNIV 101 taught by Professor Staff during the Fall '08 term at Maryland.

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