final - Carla Marlene Gonzalez Partida Vannella English...

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Carla Marlene Gonzalez Partida Vannella English 1301.363 12/07/10 Final Exam 1-He describes everything he saw, and makes the reader imagine the situation. I think he should not have described how the dead rabbits looked, because he could make the reader feel offended and disgusted. He should have used the same example but avoiding so many vivid details about his childhood experience. The audience would still understand the purpose without having a graphic image in their minds. He organized the paragraphs in chronological order. The audience will find it easy to read. However, he could have chosen different words, because he used the verb to be in almost every sentence. He had great ideas but the lack of using other verbs made his essay weak. e could have benefited from the use of nouns and pronouns. He added unnecessary words to almost every sentence. I feel he could have written some sentences shorter if he used other verbs, stating his point more precisely. Also, he wrote a lot of vague statements, and that might lead to misinterpretation of the ideas. He should try to satisfy
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final - Carla Marlene Gonzalez Partida Vannella English...

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