MITPE_550iap09_s09_lec06 8.54.35 PM

MITPE_550iap09_s09_lec06 8.54.35 PM - Designing Your...

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Designing Your Life (IAP-Spring 2009) Lauren Zander and Gabriella Jordan Lecture/Discussion 6: Haunting Incidents Principle: Hauntings Hauntings are memories that stay with us for many many years. They hold the key to the patterns of us; they are lessons that are ready to be learned. They have common characteristics: 1. It is one-sided story that really is two-sided. But have you really been checking in with the other people involved? You are talking with the other person in your head, not with your mouth. If you are talking to someone in your head, then you have a haunting. You are making up lies about the way the other person would respond, because you don’t know. 2. There is a victim/martyr side of the story. Why did you put up with it? To find a haunting, look for things that you cannot shake. A dream, an ambition that you haven’t made good on, something that someone said to you, or something that you said (or didn’t say). Stuff you are taking to the grave. Embarassing moments, something uncomfortable, something that makes you angry. Oftentimes we have our story about why this memory bothers us. “It’s because my mom was such an unfair witch!” But we don’t have the real reason why it bothers us. It bothers us because there is something about ourselves that we need to learn from in this incident. To begin unraveling, ask yourself if there was: 1. Jealousy/envy 2. You trying to get out of trouble. 3. You trying to look good to others. You lose yourself. For example, Lauren was often screwed over by her girlfriends. At first she was like “how
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MITPE_550iap09_s09_lec06 8.54.35 PM - Designing Your...

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