10 Communication, Conflict, & Emotional Management - part 1-2

10 Communication, Conflict, & Emotional Management - part 1-2

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Unformatted text preview: Communication, Conflict, & Emotional Management Management Communication & Conflict Communication Outline Effective Communication Why is communication so important? Research – Satisfied vs. Dissatisfied Couples Active Listening Active What is it? Role of Speaker & Listener More research Gender Differences in Communication The Role of Humor in Communication Effective Communication Effective Communication involves Communication A sender & A receiver Intent of the message the sender gives equals the Intent impact of the message the receiver gets (good communication) communication) Intent = Impact Interpersonal gap When the senders intentions differ from the effect on the receiver Filters interfere with effective communication Identify own filters Minimize filters Filters Filters 1. Inattention Receiver is preoccupied with something else 2. Emotional States 3. Beliefs & Expectations 4. Differences in Style 5. Self Protection Why is communication so important? Why is it important to be a good communicator? Good communication – key to marital success Conflicts are inevitable – Conflicts the way conflict is handled predicts marital success (satisfaction & the stability) stability) Dan Canary story - never-resolved About 65% of all marriages partner’s conflicts are managed, not resolved 2/3 of them will keep coming up again and again Poor communication (mishandled conflict) destroys good Poor stuff of marriage over time stuff Communication Factors Distinguishing Satisfied from Dissatisfied Couples from John Gottman’s research 30+ years of longitudinal studies Studied various groups of couples Found that he could predict, at a certain point, whether a person is Found going to stay happily married, somewhat by just looking at the nonverbals nonverbals 80-90% accuracy rate, he was able to tell if they would last 5:1 ratio There were 5 times more positive interactions or elements to every There 1 negative interaction negative Fewer signs of _______ & more signs of _______ Less Gottman’s 5 Horseman of the Apocalypse Apocalypse 1. C______/Criticism 2. C______ 3. D________ 4. Stonewalling or 4. 5. B_______ Robison’s 5 Angels of Marital Bliss Marital 1. R_____ 2. R_____ 2. 3. O_____ 3. 4. E______ 4. 5. C______ Dysfunctional Patterns of Communication Dysfunctional K________ Mind____ * I______ * Yes-butting Cross_______ Active Listening Active What is it? Intellectual Controversy Gottman vs. Markman & Stanley Gottman Active Listening Active What does it do? 1. Prevents _________ 2. Promotes ________ 3. Prevents _______ 4. Identifies _____ Active Listening: Speaker Active Who am I? Who Goal: to help the _______ hear and understand Goal: your point of view your 1. Speak for yourself Make Make Don’t _________ Frame comments in terms of Use ________ formula Active Listening: Speaker Active 2. Make messages _____ Be _________ Avoid ____________ messages Avoid 3. Don’t _________ the listener Active Listening: Speaker Active 4. Avoid statements 5. Stop & let the listener __________ Active Listening: Listener Active Who are you? Goal: to understand the 1. P_________/S_______ 2. Don’t ______ Active Listening: Interaction Active Who are we? 1. Appropriate 2. Prevent/stop 3. S & L take turns 4. Delay problem solving skills Applying Skills Applying Just because you know skills does not mean Just you you Recognize _________ patterns – Recognize ...
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