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Chapter 10 notes - Defining Romantic Relationships Liking...

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Defining Romantic Relationships Liking and Loving 1) Liking - a feeling of affection and respect that we typically have for our friends a. Affection is a sense of warmth and fondness toward another person b. Respect- admiration for another person apart from how he or she treats you and communicated with you 2) Loving - vastly deeper and more intense emotional commitment and consists of intimacy, caring, and attachment a. Intimacy- a feeling of closeness and “union” between you and your partner b. Caring- the concern you have for your partner’s welfare and the desire to keep him or her happy c. Attachment- a longing to be in your partner’s presence as much as possible Different Types of Romantic Love 1) Passionate love - a state of intense emotional and physical longing for union with another a. Driven (in part) by idealization of partners a.i. Talk about how “perfect” they are for each other and how their relationship is the “best ever” b. People from all cultures feel passionate love c. No gender or age differences exist in people’s experience of passionate love c.i. Can feel it at a very young age so respect when you hear “middle school crush” d. For adults, passionate love is integrally linked with sexuality and sexual desire d.i. 87 percent of undergraduates said that sexual attraction was the critical distinguishing feature of “being in love” vs. “loving” e. Passionate love is negatively related to relationship duration e.i. Longer the relationship, the less intense your passionate 2) Companionate love - an intense form of liking defined by emotional investment and deeply intertwined lives a. Long term relationships form into this b. It consists of quiet intimacy, predictability, and shared attitudes, values, and life experiences later in the relationship 3) Sociologist John Alan Lee says there are six types that lie in-between passionate and companionate love a. Storage - friendly lovers; love should be stable, predicable, rooted in friendship b. Apage - forgiving lovers; should be patient, selfless, giving, an unconditional c. Mania - obsessive lovers; intense, tumultuous, extreme, and all-consuming d. Pragma - practical lovers; logical, rational, and founded in common sense e. Ludus - game-playing lovers; should be uncommitted, fun, and played like a game f. Eros - romantic lovers; should be sentimental, romantic, idealistic, and committed Key Elements of Romantic Relationships
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1) Romantic relationship - a chosen interpersonal involvement forged through communication in which the participants perceive the bond as romantic 2) Perception - a romantic relationship exists whenever the two partners perceive that it does a. If the partners’ perceptions are different then they do not have a romantic relationship 3) Diversity - romantic relationships exhibit remarkable diversity in the ages and genders of the partners, as well as in their ethnic and religious backgrounds and sexual orientation 4) Choice - we enter into romantic relationships through choice, selecting not only whom we
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