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Unformatted text preview: I was also informed that in the essay I was talking about two different things, the desire for beauty and the disappointment of not getting what you want and wanting it more because of this. These two ideas were clear in my essay but the connection between the two was not made clearly enough. I was told to either choose one to focus on or explicitly tie them together so that there are no assumptions that need to be made by the reader. I was also told that I did a good job of tying in quotes from the reading in order to support my arguments....
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- Spring '09