English 134 Essay II Memo Revision

English 134 Essay II Memo Revision - the essay flows much...

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Brad Rogers Professor Truelsen English 134 1 March 2010 Memo The revision of this essay is much better than the original essay. I felt that I did a much better job connecting my father to his job in this essay than I did in the last one. I also tried to make him a much more interesting person, like he really is, rather than someone who is bland and precise. I took out a lot of the old essay and added quite a bit of new material. I think that
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Unformatted text preview: the essay flows much better now than it did before and I also think that it makes a lot more sense. I still had trouble with the conclusion. I always tend to have trouble with the conclusions. I tend to make them a summary of the essay but they never quite flow right with the paper. In general I have a lot of trouble with conclusions, however this one is much better than the one I had in this paper before revise it....
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This note was uploaded on 11/26/2011 for the course BRAE 134 taught by Professor Truelson during the Spring '11 term at Cal Poly.

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