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familypsych-page31 - objects 4 seeks union(separation is...

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LOVE Greater Love has no man than he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:12-13; Rom. 12:9-10 The Story of John & Mary (adapted from The Adjusted American – Putney) Romantic love elevated by movies/books/music. [Sleepless in Seattle] Most people emphasize combination of romantic love and genuine understanding of person as basis for marriage. Youths with poor ego strength tend to fall in love the most (Campolo) Research: Love increases if parents oppose relationship! (Shows love is related to pretty shallow factors) Americans too concerned with whether love is real instead of if marriage will be sound. (In some cultures, marrying for love is considered similar to marrying while drunk) James Michael Lee (Religious Education theorist): 7 characteristics of genuine love? 1. behavior (not feeling) 2. learned (not inherent) 3. interpersonal (can only like
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Unformatted text preview: objects) 4. seeks union (separation is contrary to love) tend to idealize when separated 5. self-giving (I Cor. 13) (opposite selfishness – if see separation as best for other) John 12:9-10 6. accepts other person as he/she is, not constantly demanding changes (conditional) 7. marked by personal freedom must be able to let go (basis of Dobson’s book Love Must Be Tough) must be mixture of attachment /separation (a separate person, yet completed by other, like the body analogy in Bible – unity, diversity) extension of toddler identity (Jerome Berryman) Another view of love (Jack & Judy Balswich) 1. Commitment (most likely in parent-arranged marriages) 2. Intimacy-friendship (spouse as best friends) 3. Passion (dominant idea in West, quickly burns out) Need to balance the 3 areas before and after marriage)....
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