familypsych-page39 - Flexibility is crucial concern –...

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4. Christian marriage – seek God’s will 5. Covenant marriage Honeymoon is related to lasting marriages. Bible support (military to stay home one year – Leviticus) Support from parents and relatives is important for successful marriage. But support must be combined with differentiation. Differentiation = separate identity, not still part first family (don’t live with parents when married) Key task of adolescence. “Leave & cleave” Bible says numerous times. If need financial or emotional help continually, son or daughter has not differentiated. If support comes with “strings” – conditions and obligations – parents have not differentiated. Differentiation is prerequisite for marriage in our culture. (Opposite of differentiation is enmeshed or disengaged (no connectedness). They need differentiation and support. A reason many teen marriages fail – lack of differentiation or support from family (Koteskey, CT ) Marriage Adjustments
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Unformatted text preview: Flexibility is crucial concern – marriage is always an adjustment. Areas of adjustment: 1. New social roles Tend to bring parental concepts of roles (even if reject them, still tend to fall back on them) But parents of each spouse tend to have different roles. Unity of Diversity Eph. 4:1-3, I Cor. 12:4-7 Role conflict Due to different expectations Due to changes during marriage (birth of child, read a Maribel Morgan book) (roles are dynamic – constant change – often trying out new aspects) Often due to expectation of mind reading “everyone knows that” – unspoken expectations. (Need to talk about this before marriage). Husband/Wife roles – Gen. 1:27 = people created as male & female (each baby created male & female; begin to differentiate about 7 – 9 weeks.) Easy to read our expectations and wishes into Bible – need to realize it doesn’t nail down everything: who does dishes? Not stated (share it)...
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This note was uploaded on 12/29/2011 for the course PSY 200 taught by Professor Miller during the Fall '10 term at SUNY Stony Brook.

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