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familypsych-page43 - Cannot love without risk risk =...

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Stinett’s first characteristic of healthy families – Commitment. Commitment to Marriage (as a social form) One another (personal) Each person in family knows others are 100% for them Social trends reflect lack of commitment. (Nicholi) Increased divorce Little time together as couple Little time with kids (father with preschoolers = 37) Sec. in USA, 2-3 hrs. a day in Russia Lack of contentment generally – church, CD clubs Neglect of family pervasive – little concern for parenting in universities (except in education – institutional settings). “Risky Business” by William Willimon (CT Feb. 19, 1988) Commitment requires maturity, but adolescence is extended into 20’s) Problems with commitment generally: “try it for awhile” relates to job, marriage, etc. Youth think there should be no sacrifice of individuality. 2 can’t become 1 without personal sacrifice. “I’ve gotta be me.” People feel must be able to love without risk. (contrary to vow “for better, for worse.”)
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Unformatted text preview: Cannot love without risk. risk = commitment. Recommends: we need level with people that “open, caring” relationships without commitment will hurt people in long run. “Reconcilable difference” – Robert and Elizabeth Roberts (CT June 12, 1987) 3 Levels of Commitment: 1) Self-realization – fulfillment and happiness is purpose of marriage. Being loved and affirmed. Even Christians are influenced by this model. Cannot be self-realized by pleasing self-realization. “Deny yourself” – I Cor. 13, “I must decrease” contradicts with “until death do us part.” Vacation in same place, but doing different things. Separate vacations? 2) Contract – still committed even if spouse blocks personal growth. More than business contract (not just partners for what can get out of contract). But it is a contract -–Vows. “Marital duties”...
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