“I know what you want, but won’t do it, and what you gonna do?” Who’s toughest really matters to kids – insults on playground, fighting to see who’s dominant (peck order of girls at Danae’s slumber party). Kids should be allowed to say anything if said respectfully. Willful defiance very different from childish immaturity (not capable or just irresponsible, not rebelling & defiant). Respond differently: Willful defiance – show them who’s boss. If they’re looking for a fight, don’t disappoint them. Spanking (best between 2 & 10 years, begin some at 15 months) Neck muscle Irresponsible behavior – make it a game (count to 25 in bedroom if forget napkin at meal) Dobson definitely against child abuse, but spanking isn’t abuse. Dobson also emphasizes that yelling does not affect behavior. Real authority can be accomplished without emotion: policeman quietly comes up to car door & asks for license (he doesn’t scream & yell, “why don’t you drive right? I’m gonna lose my mind if you people
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