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familypsych-page71 - Conflicts in Marriage Sources of...

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Conflicts in Marriage Sources of conflict: 1. limited resource a) finances b) time c) reasoning ability 2. differences in values different goals or different ways of reaching goals 3. stress (more on this later) 4. past experiences learned to be aggressive/submissive Tend to avoid conflicts. There is a time to retreat, but also must avoid bottling up & “big shot” – blow up & say worst possible thing about spouse. **Conflict is needed – means of growth 12 Different ways of reacting to conflicts in 3 categories I. AVOIDANCE STRATEGIES 1. Total Avoidance – lowest level, not being honest & accepting conflict. We avoid conflict in fear of losing more than you’ll win. Denial. Not dealing with problems is likely to make problems resurface. Ever a place for denial? The self-deception aspect makes it wrong, but realistically it will happen. We all tell ourselves occasionally that nothing is wrong when there obviously is something wrong. Key is to admit it, confess it, ask forgiveness of God & spouse, and forgive self . If never see own denial, it’s a good sign
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