exam 2 - EmotionalDevelopment The effect of attachment upon...

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Emotional Development The effect of attachment upon romantic-erotic relationships How quantitatively attached is determined by emotional bond 1. The intensity of the feelings the individual has in the presence of the caretaker 2. How hard does the individual have to work in order to get into the presence of the caretaker “don’t feel good” feelings are easier to feel and stronger. They emerge before “feel-good” feelings more likely to develop an intense, powerful, strong bond to a caretaker who does a lousy job of meeting your needs Qualitative – structure and function of attachment (differentiation) Secure Insecure Determines attachment – the degree to which the caretakes satisfies the individual’s wants/needs/desires Contact comfort – good touch is lifetime need of humans Clearly est – in order to thrive as a baby, you need good touch Good touch gives a sense of security and safety Secure attachment – caretaker is a secure base Insecure attachment – caretakers insecure Intense emotion = insecure attachment Effect of attachment Secure attachment vs Insecure attachment Secure – cluster of positive associated characteristics Insecure – cluster of negative associated characteristics All future love relationships are going to be colored by attachment relationships
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Individual will continue to get into the same kind of relationships over and over Insecure – expect and seek out high emotions Easy to fall in love. “immediate chemistry” Difficult to stay in love Have a lot more love relationships; relatively brief End their relationships bec 1 or the other wants someone else Describe each love relationships as an “emotional rollercoaster” Tend to be the only 1 working on the relationship Show a great deal of jealousy Act as if they know “the grass is greener on the other side” Attracted to similarities Insecure ppl are attracted to insecure ppl Secure Takes time to work to grow to love each other As long as you continue to work at it, its just fine Many fewer love relationships; longer-lasting End relationship bc they cannot figure out how it will work so both people are happy Describe the emotion as “nice, consistent, constant slow burn” Have a sense that both are working on the relationship Don’t sweat the small stuff (can go out and talk to other ppl) Act as if “the grass is greener wherever you choose to water it and let sunlight in”
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Search for people like you No do-overs – you can change the relationship with your caregivers The nature of romantic-erotic relationships The distinction between crushes, infatuations, and loves Crush – romantic, erotic feeling toward someone; esp if older Earliest form of romantic, erotic relationships Somewhat distant and unattainable Infatuations – pupply love Intense and relatively brief in duration Relationship ends when you become infatuated with someone else While in the relationship, you think its love As soon as it ends, you don’t think it was real Love – look back and cannot redefine relationship as puppy love
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This note was uploaded on 01/04/2012 for the course PSY 333 taught by Professor Bornstein during the Fall '11 term at Miami University.

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exam 2 - EmotionalDevelopment The effect of attachment upon...

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