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Corey Harrilal Essay Revision

Corey Harrilal Essay Revision - (Frank Xiao Zhu Cynthia...

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(Frank) Xiao Zhu Cynthia Taft 21W.034 Corey Harrilal Revision and Edits (Great work Corey!) 1. Introduction: Do the first few paragraphs draw you into the narrative essay? Do they point you in the right direction? If not, can you suggest minor revisions or additions that would make the introduction more engaging and effective? The first few paragraphs really do draw me into the narrative essay. The first sentence made me want to read more. The dialogue between the narrator and his classmate also makes me want to read more into the entire essay. However, minor revisions may include setting aside indentations for dialogue, which is a traditional method of writing quotations in dialogue. 2. Background information (setting and context): What kind of background information does the author provide? Do we know enough to appreciate the narrative? Suggestions for additions or changes? The background information was given through the dialogue with classmates, and it gave me enough context to understand what the story is going to be about. There is definitely
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