Final (2) - or think," it is a cliché and vague; use

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I chose to read paragraphs four and five for the final assignment. While reading the two paragraphs I thought that paragraph four was more effective of the two. I feel that paragraph four was written better and it flowed nicely. Paragraph five was a bit confusing. It didn't quite flow as nice. I found myself reading it a few times before I seriously understood what was being said. Paragraph four gave more information that was very understandable and well formed that makes it easy to read and to understand. Paragraph five wasn't written with complete thoughts and kind of hop all around the paragraph. So out of the two paragraphs four was better written one of the two. After submitting my paper to write point I received three suggestions. The first one I think was very helpful. Writepoint suggested clearer writing for the sentence, 'While reading the two paragraphs I felt that paragraph four was more effective of the two' that write point said clearer writing would me that if "felt" is used in the sense of "to believe
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Unformatted text preview: or think," it is a cliché and vague; use "believed" or "thought". The second suggestion was for a writing suggestion. They stated that “real" or "really" means "existing in actuality"--it adds little to the meaning (and using it to mean "big," "very," or "genuine" is slang); and that I should replace it with a more expressive word. The last one was to simply remove the word the from the sentence. After rewriting the paragraph I found that my paragraph does make better sense after the suggestions from writepoint. After using Writepoint for this assignment I found it to be very useful, so I will be using it in my future classes. I think the overall process was kind of easy to get to and submit my paragraph. The feedback time was rather fast but this may have been because I had an extension on my assignment! I think the reply back time was maybe 4 minutes. I plan on using Writepoint for every paper in the future!...
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This note was uploaded on 01/07/2012 for the course COM 155 155 taught by Professor Shepherd during the Spring '10 term at University of Phoenix.

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