RR Terry

RR Terry - recognize your points of interest, defined words...

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Jonathan Salk- Reviewer Terry Bishop- Writer Eng 101- 11:50am Due Date: 9-15-10 3 pages The first sentence is a great opener, except where you wrote “and what the mass is of the object” try changing it to “ the object’s mass”. It helps make it less wordy and easier to comprehend. The third sentence can use a little bit of restructuring. Again to simplify it just erase the words that are not needed and use commas for example: “When lifting weights in the gym, there are many exercises which this law applies to and the best part of all (insert a comma), is how math proves which exercises work better for specific sports and different athletes.” In that same sentence that you wrote, I couldn’t understand why you used the word “ones”. Be a bit more specific to clarify to your audience what it is you are talking about. The rest of the first page is excellent. You made it very clear to
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Unformatted text preview: recognize your points of interest, defined words that the reader might not know, and best of all you gave explanations about the bicep curls to explain even further to the reader about what it is exactly that you are talking about. In the first sentence of the second page put the parenthesis around pectorals as well as chest. Phrase it as So it is general.. . work one muscle (pectorals or chest). Your first paragraph on the second page is filled with great information which you broke down to help the reader understand what you mean. Great job with the analysis thus far. The second paragraph is very informal. Your essay is awesome, straight and to the point. It is a well written work and from a critique point of view, you wrote a fantastic paper....
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