Response paper comments Revised

Response paper comments Revised - Problems with the...

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Problems with the Response Papers, i.e. Things you need to correct (revised 10/29/20) Most of you are writing very well (i.e. writing in paragraphs, using proper sentence structure, punctuation and word choice), in fact I’ve been very impressed by your writing. Here are some issues that I’ve noticed that most of you need to address. Proofreading 1. Read over you paper . Word sometimes makes spelling corrections and inserts words that make no sense. These need to be corrected, preferably before it is printed out, but neat corrections by hand are much better than not correcting the paper. Reading the paper aloud can also help to catch awkward sentences or sentences that don't say what you mean. This IS all one course and you are expected to increment your understanding of issues 2. Reference earlier parts of the course . I do expect you to remember earlier discussions. For example, several of you said that we need to judge the intelligence of the animals and base our animal welfare policies on intelligence. This suggests to me that you did not take to heart the discussion that we had about IQ in humans and all the problems associated with testing IQ. The same problems apply (even more so) when testing animal intelligence. 3. This course is not fictional . Mismeasure of Man and all the books in this course are not novels but non-fiction. A novel is " a fictitious prose narrative of considerable length and complexity, portraying characters and usually presenting a sequential organization of action and scenes." (from dictionary.com) Structural Issues. 4. Get right to the point . Don't begin your essay with all sorts of vague generalities; go right to the heart of the matter. Make your focus clear early in your essay (usually the bottom of the first paragraph). . 5. Stick to your focus . Many of you had two or more theses for your papers; choose one and stick to it throughout the essay. This will then give you sufficient room to argue it persuasively. You should develop your argument in a logical order that is clear to the reader. 6. Write in the first person . Remember the first words of the Watson and Crick letter to Nature : “We wish to suggest a structure…” You should always use the first person in scientific writing, for example, “I will argue that animal rights and animal welfare are…” 7. Develop your argument . You have stated what you are going to discuss right in the first paragraph. Now you need to develop support for that argument through the next several paragraphs. This development should be logical and transparent. It should be clear from each paragraph how the line of argument is developing and where we are in that argument.
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Word Choice and Grammatical Issues 8. Choose the right word for what you want to say . Choose your words carefully so that the essay says what you want it to say. It is common for some to use words that mean something quite different than you intend (e.g. elicit vs. illicit). 9. “These data are…
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This note was uploaded on 01/15/2012 for the course BSC 3402 taught by Professor Brockmann,h during the Fall '08 term at University of Florida.

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Response paper comments Revised - Problems with the...

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