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abby kraus' paper - explained more thoroughly With the Miss...

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Jonathan Lee Abby Kraus’ Paper What this paper is arguing is that through Gabriel’s encounters with Lily, Miss Ivors, and Gretta we can see Gabriel’s body language. This body language allows us to understand Gabriel’s social awkwardness, which results from his hunger for power. This is a pretty clear thesis to understand and it is argued throughout the paper pretty consistently. In each body paragraph you clearly describe the body language in each situation and compare them properly. I thought your strongest argument was your last body paragraph with the encounter with Miss Ivors. You describe the power shift as Miss Ivors is in complete control, which contrasts the dinner scene where you describe it is only the scene where he is in complete control. I thought you give plenty of textual evidence such as the blushing of his forehead and blinking his eyes and trying to smile. I thought your explanation of Lily’s shift of power could have been
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Unformatted text preview: explained more thoroughly. With the Miss Ivors paragraph it is much more clear the power structure. I thought your Torvald Helmer argument was interesting and it added to the paragraph. You introduce that it is Norris’ argument well but I thought your analysis after it did not properly give enough of your voice to interpret or extrapolate what Norris was trying to say. You give more textual evidence with patting his tie reassuringly but I thought the actual Norris quotes could have gotten more of your analysis since you used more than one quote. I thought the first quote you use was used pretty smoothly but I think you need to include something along the lines that it was Riquelme who thought such and such. Also with the following quote from Riquelme, it is a pretty straight forward quote so there doesn’t need to be much straddling it but I still think you have to present it with Riquelme first....
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