poem critique #3 - that you don’t want to make blanket...

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This paper is about the detachment between God and the speaker, and clear examples are given. What is somewhat confusing is that the rest of the introduction paragraph is about the ambiguity of it. However, the thesis doesn’t mention anything about that. Also, you wrote that the poem is enriched with ambiguity from metaphors and allusions, but when I first read that I thought, “shouldn’t metaphors and allusions remove ambiguity and create a better visualization of whatever the topic is?” It is very clear though what the arguments are, with the allusion to adam and eve, the progression of the ripening fruit metaphor, and the mystifying structure. You give many examples like the words ripe orchard, and then the he shifts line. There is not much in depth analysis of it though, you are sort of just mentioning what the line is doing. In the paragraph of the structure and punctuation, you use words like perhaps or maybe. I understand
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Unformatted text preview: that you don’t want to make blanket statements and conclusions, but maybe you can use stronger words so it doesn’t seem like you’re not sure what its supposed to mean. You end that paragraph with the fact that a wonderful can be open to interpretation for the reader. Maybe you should have given your input as to which interpretation was more appropriate or better argued because just ending on that doesn’t really give the whole paragraph much closure. I understand that the ambiguity and multiple interpretations is supposed to strengthen your argument, but I don’t think you can be somewhat sure that that was Emily dickinson’s purpose. I think that is something you should definitely say is true by the last paragraph because for one, you proved that throughout the entire paper, and also if it’s not true then most of the arguments are bunk. In general though I think it is a very good paper....
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This note was uploaded on 01/16/2012 for the course ENGLISH 124 taught by Professor Peck during the Fall '10 term at University of Michigan.

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