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poem critique - mentioned tombs and stiff heart It isn’t...

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A Mechanical Death is a paper about Emily dickinson’s “after great pain a formal feeling comes”. Rachel speaks about the “emotional impact that death of another person can have on an individual. It is a pretty clear argument, there is not much ambiguity of that. One could have argued that she should’ve specified what kind of emotional impact, but I think she explains it well afterwards and death is something that doesn’t really need to be explained much, it’s a pretty universal thing as far as the effects of it. I think the debate is not really that interesting because it’s more of a critique of the poem, not so much of a debate; there really isn’t that much to argue against, since the main thesis is that you have a great emotional burden after going through the death of a close person. I think the point at the end about moving on afterwards is something more approachable as far as how to argue such a point. Maybe she could include the moving on process into her thesis. Her comparisons are pretty good and specific like when she
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Unformatted text preview: mentioned tombs and stiff heart. It isn’t just writing up facts but there is good analysis afterwards. The paragraph with mechanical has plenty of specific details. She included the definition and explanation of mechanical in the body paragraph, which makes sense since she is going line by line. However, at the end she brings up the same argument, with the specific importance of that word. It is harder to see each specific technique in use when going stanza to stanza, and then switching for the last technique and making that a paragraph on its own. I don’t really like how the last paragraph is another argument for your thesis but then the last couple lines is more of a conclusion. It might be better structured if you had a final conclusion paragraph on its own. In general though, I think it’s a very good paper, most of the stuff I wrote is kind of nit picking really....
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