Week 5 Assignment - Running head REVISION PRACTICE 1...

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Running head: REVISION PRACTICE 1 Revision Practice Steven Barry COM 156 October 31, 2010 Linda Troxler
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REVISION PRACTICE 2 Revision Practice After reading the students paper about the movie “The Dark Knight” there are a few thing I would change to make the paper easier to read and understand. The first change I would make is in the first sentence where it states “the movie was the most popular film in 2008”, does not provide any evidence to back up this statement. He should have worded it “one of the more popular” by stating it this way he does not need provide proof because it is common knowledge. The second thing I would change to make the paper flow a little better is in the second paragraph the sentence “Specifically the director, Christopher Nolan, the writer David S. Goyer and the stars such as Christian Bale, Gary Oldmand, and Michael Caine all played a role in both of the films with the only exception being Maggie Gyllenhall replacing Katie Holmes and Heath Ledger playing the Joker in one of his last roles, which will be remembered as an excellent
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This note was uploaded on 01/15/2012 for the course COM 156 COM 156 taught by Professor Dr.jessicaguire during the Spring '11 term at University of Phoenix.

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Week 5 Assignment - Running head REVISION PRACTICE 1...

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