09/29/2009
Thursday Sept. 24, 2009
Audience:
-Theory
Content and Relational messages
-To understand the relationship between the people you want to look at this relational
aspect
-Relational definition - how do you define yourself to another person
-As we get to know one another we let them know this
-Define who we are to one another
-At the same time within the relationship we have a relationship culture
-The atmosphere of the relationship (positive or negative)
-We do this through a relational contract - negations in the relationship,
informal and just evaluates.
Factors or types of relationships:
-Number of people involved rather or not it’s a Dyact (2 people) or Group (3 or more)
-Purpose: task (developed for the propose to develop a task) or social (for run or
personal reasons)
-Duration: short term (relationship with a teacher each semester) or long term (those
you have more time with)
-Level of intimacy: causal (min level of support; greeter at wal-mart)
in-between
(moderate level of support; friends and colleagues)
and intimate (max level of
support; partners or best friends)
Relational expectations
-Depends on what we out of the relationship
-Prototype:
Label: friends
Criteria: text/facebook
Behavior: everyday
Social exchange theory - how we operate. The rewards - the cost = a profit
-Rewards - what you get out the relationships
-Social relationship - those relationship we have with others based on our public selves
-Public relationships - those relationships your reproduce with public self and others
You make decision based on what types of relationships you want
Duck's Filtering theory: relationships come in levels (like an onion)
-Society or incidental cues: you have to have a chance to meet somebody
-Pre-interaction cues: as you check somebody out you look at their behavior
Physical cues
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Behavior
-Interaction cues: as you get to know someone
-Cognitive or thoughts: Seinflied - Elaine, "I can't not date someone who is Pro-
Choice"
Magnets (attracted to)
-Physical Beauty
Matching principle - we are attracted to people we think are our equals
-Similar to us - gets back to values, who we are and what we want in life
-Complementary - different aspects of a personality
-Reciprocal liking - want to like each other
-Cost can out weigh the rewards
Social exchange theory
Example: the Cosby show
-Cliff and Claire
How a relationships comes together - The Knap stages of coming together:
1. Initiating - a chance to meet and know someone, choice to or not to interact
with someone
2. Experimenting - get to know this person, what are their likes and dislikes
3. Intensity
- increase self disclosure; talk about serious issues and spend more
time together. Different test:
-Indirect suggestions: joke around
-Separation test: see how the other person acts when your not
together (apart from each other)
-Endurance test: how much with they put up with
-Triangle test: involve a third person in the relationship to test them and
see how their reaction will be
4. Integrating - "we-ness" involved; buying/doing things together; invitations are
together; act alike
5. Bonding - something official puts you together; wedding, ring, moving into

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- Fall '08
- HEBERT
- Want, HARASSMENT, Mardi Gras
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