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The_Perfect_Model_for_Marriage

The_Perfect_Model_for_Marriage - The Perfect Model for...

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The Perfect Model for Marriage by Al Janssen A few years ago, my wife, Jo, and I were walking through our neighborhood on a warm summer evening. The outlines of Pikes Peak and the Front Range mountains dominated our view as I enthused about my activities of the day. "So, how was your day?" I asked as I finished my recitation. "Did you have a good time at brunch?" That morning, Jo had met in a home with several women for a potluck brunch following their monthly prayer time. "There was one person missing," Jo answered. She paused, then with a sigh said, "Mary Ann couldn't come. Yesterday, Tom served her with divorce papers." With that, the tears flowed. I grabbed Jo's hand. After a few silent moments, I asked, "Is there another woman?" Jo nodded. Anger welled up as I thought of this man who had served as a leader in the church we attended. I could almost write the script—I'd heard variations of it too many times. In this case, it was a "midlife crisis." Tom wasn't happy with his job. He wasn't happy with his wife. He wasn't happy with life, and it was everyone else's fault. So he was changing careers, switching churches and starting over with a woman 15 years younger than his wife. Looking for answers I must confess that I'm sick and tired of the ongoing parade of divorces among Christian friends and acquaintances. Over the years I have helped publish some of the best books on marriage by experts such as Gary Smalley, John Trent and Neil Clark Warren. Besides what Focus on the Family provides, there are thousands of books, tapes, videos, curricula, conferences and seminars designed to help couples live happily ever after. Unfortunately, all of that information isn't enough to prevent heartbreak among Christians who, according to some surveys, divorce at a slightly higher rate than the general population. That's why this past year I tried to find an answer. I read dozens of books, scoured newspapers and journals and, most important, searched the Scriptures. Judith Wallerstein makes this observation in her landmark book The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: "Having been raised in divorced or very troubled homes [young adults] have no idea how to choose a partner or what to do to build the relationships." If there are any role models in our culture, they are found in the tabloids that glorify the
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meeting and splitting of celebrities from the world of entertainment and sports.
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