An - An (not so) abridged history: Before it was colonized,...

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An (not so) abridged history: Before it was colonized, it was home of and originator to some of the Precursors for the Olmec, Mayan, and Aztec civilizations. Expect them all to be lumped together when the Adventurer Archaeologist investigates ruins in search of treasure. But we don't care about those silly brown people . Well, not unless they're hot and/or there's a curse involved. It was colonized by Spain , those people in the funny metal Conquistador hats who looked for cities of gold (or means to get gold , they weren't picky), and proceeded to massacre the "cannibal natives " and "idol worshipers " with plagues and horses. (The plagues were actually unintentional but handy at first, inconvenient after victory). Hernán Cortés and his men were able to win against the Aztec empire by manipulating their unwilling subjects into an alliance. Fun and profit were had by all. And by all, we mean Cortés, his soldiers, and many of his native allies. Everyone else was either forcibly converted and enslaved in the Hacienda system (think Plantation) or killed. Even his native allies got sort of shafted, also being forcibly converted and becoming second class citizens below spaniards. .. which was still loads better than plebeian mexicans who were actually worse off than under the Aztecs, but who cares about them? Many things happened in the Colonial period, but for some reason the next 300 years are mostly ignored until "La Independencia!" Lots of shooting and fighting, wherein the Spanish rule is kicked out for being The Empire . Right after, one of the leaders of the winning group, Agustín de Iturbide, arranged for himself to be crowned emperor and ruled. .. 11 months. After that he was exiled, and executed when he decided to return. Then Guadalupe Victoria became our first presidente. His Meaningful Name and very Gender Blender Name is not an accident, as he picked it himself. After this pop culture kind of skips the next 30 or so years of political infighting until the Mexican American War , at which point Mexicans become Red Shirts to attack The Alamo. By the way, don't bring this up in the company of polite Mexicans unless you want to hear an earful about how the US supported Texas' independence only to annex it and use it as a casus belli once we attacked. Bring it up in the company of impolite Mexicans and, well. .. let's just say we can hold a grudge for centuries (just ask Spain). Worth noting is how Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón (try to say that without stopping to breath), mostly known as Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna or just Santa Anna, went from Independence hero to eleven times president/dictator to national traitor, first class, due to the loss of the war. It's because of his merry-go-round presidencies that Mexicans, to this day, distrust re-election on principle * . At some moment in 1838, France
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An - An (not so) abridged history: Before it was colonized,...

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