englishhhh - Robert Mason Wood ENGL 101-093 Claire...

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Robert Mason Wood ENGL 101-093 Claire Niedzwiedzki 12/5/11 Peer Review for Avni’s Essay #2 Avni Dalal has chosen to write her second paper on An American Childhood by Annie Dillard, a writing proposed by the teacher. The introduction opens up with only two sentences, which offer little insight as to what the topic of the paper is going to be, and it is followed by a thesis statement, which does not seem very argumentative. Avni is trying to argue that by use of tone, description and syntax, Annie Dillard shows the reader the importance that a single event held to her. The thesis is plausible but could be strengthened by including how those literary devices may have amplified the audiences understanding of the stories events and the importance they held to Annie Dillard. The introductory paragraph is a bit weak in that it is lacking substance; it does not enlighten the reader as to what is about to be discussed in the following paragraphs while her thesis is fairly strong. The second paragraph discusses the reminiscent tone in which Dillard has written the
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