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JB edit2 - Smash Bros Melee If you had explained what Melee...

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Jessica Gimbel 3/10/11 English 100 Super Smash Bros Melee I really liked the tone of your paper. Your sarcasm and light-hearted voice was evident throughout the entire essay. Your description was also really helpful to me because I have never been a video game fanatic and therefore had pretty much no idea what you were talking about at first. You explain the game really well for example in paragraphs two through four. Your virtual tour of the game was delivered in your wording and sentence structure. I really felt like I was playing Super Smash Bros Melee. The only thing I was confused on was what Melee meant. You have to write as if the person you are speaking to has no idea what you are talking about when you say Super
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Unformatted text preview: Smash Bros Melee. If you had explained what Melee meant I would have had a better understanding from the start what the game was about. But overall, nice flow and word choices. I really liked your beginning and conclusion, you seem very proud to like video games and that makes me proud of video games as well as I read it. I also kind of like how you made some sort of a comparison to playing physical games and a little allusion to what war would be like if you had a second chance after you were hit down in the conclusion. It was a great read and good luck with the edit!...
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